Quantcast
The Truth About Solo Sex: Debunking 5 Masturbation Myths
The Truth About Solo Sex: Debunking 5 Masturbation Myths

The Truth About Solo Sex: Debunking 5 Masturbation Myths

Taking sexuality and self-care into our own hands – literally.

Sex

As many of us know, masturbation is a normal and healthy sexual activity laden with numerous physical, emotional and mental benefits. Not only does invoke those feel-good hormones, but it can also improve your health, sleep, and sex life. May is National Masturbation Month, an excellent opportunity to prioritize your self-pleasure and self-love, while indulging in much-needed me time.

Masturbation is a great way to learn about your sexual likes and dislikes (without putting yourself at risk for pregnancy and STDs), as well as helping to relieve quarantine tension and social distancing stress. As a matter of fact, with many of us still staying at home, with or without a quarantine bae, now is the perfect time to get more in touch with yourself (pun intended)!

However, as sex positive as our generation has become, there are still masturbation misconceptions that need to be put to bed. To help debunk some of the stigma and shame about this sensual form of self-care, we've enlisted the help of Dr. Donna Oriowo, (LICSW, CST) licensed clinical social worker, certified sex therapist and owner of AnnodRight.

Myth: Too much masturbation can ruin partnered sex.

Fact: "It is false that masturbation will ruin sex with a partner -- the opposite is actually true," Dr. Oriowo said. "Knowing your body and what brings you pleasure, gives you the ability to speak to your partner about what you like, which in turn increases pleasure in partnered sex."

"We can debunk this myth by trying it out! Mutual masturbation, or masturbating with your partner, allows you and your partner to learn more about each other's body, while getting a better hold on what brings each other pleasure," Dr. Oriowo said. "You can masturbate each other, or masturbate in front of one another, which brings a new whole level of erotic play!"

Myth: Vibrators can numb your lady parts.

Fact: "It is true that vibrators can temporarily numb genitals. The key words here are 'can' and 'temporarily'. Everyone is not necessarily going to experience this," Dr. Oriowo said. "There are a couple of factors to consider, including the strength of the vibrator, the length of use, how flush the vibrator is against the skin, and how often the vibrator is being used. If you find that you're feeling a little numb, you can cut back for about an hour, and then you should return back to full sensation."

Myth: You shouldn’t masturbate every day.

Fact: "I personally don't believe it's possible to masturbate too much, unless your 'too much' means that it gets in the way of your everyday life, including your ability to work," Dr. Oriowo advised. "It is definitely OK to masturbate every day – in fact, I personally challenge people to pleasure themselves every day during National Masturbation Month. Seeking pleasure on a daily basis is not going to ruin things. Do what you like!"

Myth: Women in relationships don’t masturbate.

Fact: "I believe that even within the context of a relationship, masturbation should continue. Being able to bring yourself pleasure can actually serve as a moment of mindfulness and reconnection," Dr. Oriowo explained. "Additionally, our likes and dislikes will continue to grow and change as we move through each stage of life. Continuing to masturbate gives us a leg up on our new sexual interests, which in turn can help us inform our partners about our new desires and fantasies."

Myth: Masturbation reduces sex drive.

Fact: "Masturbation does not decrease your sex drive," Dr. Oriowo said. "It may offer temporary satisfaction, but it's like having a snack or a meal. Just because you ate breakfast doesn't mean that you won't be interested in lunch or dinner. As a matter of fact, similar to how breakfast can jumpstart your metabolism, masturbation can jumpstart you sex drive! You can actually find yourself in a sexy mood more often, which could lead to more masturbation and more partnered sex!"

As you become more acquainted with the magical gift that is masturbation, here are three expert-approved tips and tricks to help you take your solo sex session to the next level:

Set the Scene: If you are feeling extra romantic, try lighting candles or incense to engage your sense of smell. Playing music in the background is also a great way to get in a sexy mindset.

DIY Date Night: We could all use a little bit more love! Don't be afraid to treat yourself to a solo Netflix and Chill date. Pamper yourself with a nice meal, a glass (or two) of wine, and then get lucky halfway through your movie!

Switch It Up: Changing up your masturbation routine can help keep things spicy and exciting. If you only masturbate in certain positions, try out a new technique! Add new sex toys, try manual manipulation, or feel free to move from one typically-used room to another. Variety is the spice of life!

Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here to receive our latest articles and news straight to your inbox.

Featured image by Gif/Beyonce

When His Cancer Came Back, They Planned Their Viral Wedding Of A Lifetime In A Week

For many newly engaged couples, the euphoria of their engagement is quickly replaced by the stress and chaos of wedding planning. For writer Ashley Reese and her new husband Robert Stengel, the anxiety around planning their recent nuptials was only intensified by having just a week to plan and execute it.

Keep reading...Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.
The Not-So-Basic Closet Staples Minimalists Are Wearing Into The Office This Fall

Call it a cliché but when you look good you feel good which is why I take pleasure in getting dressed for work even on the days I dread going into the office. Although I have a bit more flexibility working in fashion, expressing oneself through outfits even with a corporate dress code can significantly increase mood and creativity.

Keep reading...Show less
Gabrielle Union's 50th Birthday In Zanzibar Was Everything

Another day, another Black woman defies aging. But this time, we’re zoomed in on Gabrielle Union. The award-winning actress stumped everyone after celebrating her 50th birthday on October 29. In a couple of IG posts, the mom of one revealed that she was “Walkin Into 50… Like A Champion” wearing a black and gold Mugler dress.

Keep reading...Show less
EXCLUSIVE: Keke Palmer Launches 'Heaux & Tell' On KeyTV

Recently, we heard that Keke "Keep a Job" Palmer launched her digital network KeyTV. Today, xoNecole has the exclusive first look at the first series on KeyTV, Heaux & Tell.

Written and created by Nakia Stephens and executive produced and developed by Keke, "Heaux and Tell follows the misadventures of three best friends who dive headfirst into provocative and ridiculous new experiences. A 7-episode scripted show featuring a BIPOC cast of talent and behind-the-scenes creators who helped bring it to life, the series offers this generation a real take on sex, sexuality, and sisterhood."


"KeyTV is about bringing new perspectives to the table and platforming creators who have something to say," Keke tells xoNecole of why she chose Heaux & Tell. "Overall, I want the network to deliver content that is relatable to our generation with characters you feel like you know, and Heaux & Tell, our first scripted series, delivers on that and more. The series takes the audience on a wild & seriously unexpected ride through the eyes of three Black women and best friends who don't always have it together in their relationships, at work, or even with each other but are doing the best they can. It's a show that I'd watch with my friends because it's about real characters dealing with their problems, their wins, and their lovers in real-time – and having some real good messy fun along the way."

Watch the trailer below:

Will you be watching?

Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.

Black woman in a hammock drinking tea

I've never been a person who thrives on routines or waking up early, and I know I'm not the only one. But we can do a few things in the morning to help us get a good start to the day. Ayurvedic medicine, also known as Ayurveda, is an ancient form of Indian medicine that has been practiced for thousands of years and still plays an integral role in India's traditional healthcare system.

Keep reading...Show less
Exclusive Interviews
Latest Posts