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These Celeb Divorces Remind Us That There's No Such Thing As Relationship 'Failure'
If you made it out of this Mercury retrograde barely alive, you are not alone. From what we have been witnessing in recent weeks, it seems like so many celebrity couples have been experiencing relationship challenges now more than ever before. Or at least, that’s the pattern we are seeing on social media.
Now some of you may be familiar with Mercury retrograde, but let me just give you a brief overview before we go any further. The planet Mercury normally moves faster than Earth around the sun and usually three times a year, but this year in particular (four times, to be exact), the planet Mercury begins to slow down.
When Mercury is slowing down, we call that Mercury retrograde, and, energetically for us, that simply means that life gets tenser, there tends to be a lot of miscommunication, relationships are challenged and people from your past may circle back offering reconciliation.
In my opinion, Mercury retrograde gets a really bad rap because it is challenging, but not every challenge is inherently “bad.” During this time period, it may seem like everything is going wrong, but we must shift our mindset in order to embrace the wisdom that Mercury retrograde has to offer.
If we pay attention and actually move with the planet and simply allow ourselves to slow down, Mercury retrograde can be a time when we take a good look at our personal lives and our relationships and reassess why we are in them.
These past few weeks, we’ve been seeing many celebrity couples filing for divorce. Celebrities such as Tia Mowry and Cory Hardrict, Miguel and Nazanin, and a few more that have spent years together are splitting up due to “irreconcilable differences."
These various separations come as a shock for many, as people on social media share their thoughts and feelings about these couples splitting up.
@hitt_jay #greenscreen #tiamowry #tameramowry #coryhardrict #sistersister #twins #twinsisters #popculture #fyp
The Problem With Idealizing Celebrity Relationships
As a society, we tend to put celebrities and their relationships on a pedestal for what a relationship should look like, the practice of which is extremely superficial. Phrases such as “relationship goals'' and even our very own “Black love'' tend to be taken out of context and used to pedestal other people's relationships.
These phrases have now been used as expectations that we set for other people to set the template for what we should strive for in our own lives while knowing nothing about these people and what’s really going on in their relationships. And in the past few weeks, as I have witnessed so many couples separating and filing for divorce, I have realized that so many of us have a very codependent relationship with our idea of what relationships should be.
A celebrity couple can split because of irreconcilable differences and people immediately assume that someone cheated or they just weren’t working hard enough to fight for their marriage, but what if no one cheated? What if their differences were just so polarizing that they could not coexist together peacefully?
According to mensrightsdivorcelaw.com, "irreconcilable differences" means "an individual and their spouse cannot get along with one another enough to keep the marriage alive, and this lack of getting along can cause a whole array of other issues in the marriage."
And the way that I see it, irreconcilable differences, outside of the textbook definition of it is what happens when two people have different values and desires, i.e. whoever they were when they married might no longer be who they are now. So many of us do not want to look at incompatibility in relationships because it’s just too painful to face, but I honestly feel like this relationship challenge isn’t talked about enough (which is also why a lot of people end up staying in a marriage that may not be for them).
We don’t want to look at the side where our needs and values are just so different that we cannot maintain a romantic relationship with someone. The reason we avoid this reality is that it requires us to practice acceptance and loving someone from a distance. Most of us tend to avoid this reality because it’s difficult to face the hard truth of loving a person. But simply being incompatible with someone may also trigger unresolved rejection or abandonment wounds.
But if we are in a relationship with someone and we are creating stories and narratives and internalizing this person's behaviors, actions, or values to mean something negative about us, we are tying our sense of self-worth to their values.
I think we should start celebrating people for leaving relationships that are not for them.
Whenever we see a celebrity couple break up or decide to go their separate ways, I see so many people responding with, “Omg, I’ll never believe in love again," and "If they didn’t work out, no one will work out," and let's not forget, "I don’t believe in marriage anymore."
My question is, why are we putting these people on this imaginary pedestal hoping that their marriage will set the standard for us?
@shygirlsentiments ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? #miguelsinger #nazaninmandi #celebritybreakup #celebdivorce #hollywoodmarriage
Incompatibility and the Release of Relationship 'Failure'
I think because so many of us grew up in households where our caregivers might have been absent or they weren’t able to show us an example of a healthy relationship, we take these celebrities and put them on the pedestal so they can be the representation of what we’re desperately seeking.
Respectfully, we have to come to a point of healing and emotional maturity within ourselves to see beyond what's being presented on the surface. All of the cute pictures and red carpet moments are just the aesthetic, people are going to present their best selves in the presence of other people. But the real magic happens off camera, the real relationship happens when no one is looking.
All in all, we have to stop putting these celebrities so much on a pedestal to where we dethrone our own standards. When we see relationships ending and people separating, we need to stop projecting our own shame onto them.
Rather than looking at relationships from this “success or failure” lens, I think we can move forward as a collective when we empower ourselves to see the beauty in relationships regardless of how they ended. Endings can be a beautiful thing, we just have to reframe our relationships to change.
It’s more empowering to view all relationships as a success because you got a chance to experience someone in a way you might have needed to experience in order to learn more about yourself, even if you haven’t been able to integrate the lesson just yet.
Relationships are not about possession and control. It’s not about owning or tethering yourself to someone who is not for you, that’s codependency and to be completely honest with you all, there’s no one to blame for this frame of thinking because society has conditioned us to be this way.
Society has programmed us into believing that love is all about this constant sacrificing of yourself for another person, that it's this disowning of yourself for another person.
Time and time again people get into relationships completely abandoning themselves just to say they have someone, just to feel needed, wanted, and desired rather than learning that healthy relationships are about keeping who it is that you are and maintaining a healthy relationship dynamic with another person. It’s not one or the other, both go hand in hand
Healthy relationships do not require you to “compromise” your core values. That’s not love, that’s fear.
And so when we can get to the point where we move out of this framework of codependent love, needing someone to be who we need them to be, spending years in a marriage waiting for the other person to step up, waiting for them to change, we will finally start to see that actually is not loving at all. Therefore, we would be on our way to healthier relationships and support people who decide to separate or get a divorce.
Relationships End and That's Okay
We have to get to this point where we’re able to move out of patterns of codependency and move beyond expecting everyone and everything to stay together because it makes us feel good. Love is about honoring a person's journey which also means recognizing when a relationship is approaching the end of its season. Real love is about respecting and honoring that person's journey enough to let them go.
Love and honor them so much that it transcends beyond the physical. Love them so much that you let them journey in this lifetime on their own schedule and go wherever it is they need to go, whether it is with you or not.
We’re not always going to able to go with people because not every person is meant to go with us, not every relationship is meant to last forever so I commend anyone who has the courage to end a relationship that is no longer a good fit for them.
Sometimes our differences with someone are so polarizing that we just can’t coexist in a romantic relationship together and that’s okay. Now, is that to say the whole entire relationship failed? Absolutely not.
If both people have tried and put their best foot forward, it’s a success.
Anything that brings you back to yourself at the end of the day is a blessing, anything that teaches you how to love yourself more, anything that teaches you how to stand firm in your boundaries, anything that teaches you to stop betraying yourself, that's a success.
At the end of the day, you got to share an experience with someone who you loved and learn something about yourself in the process, even if it didn’t last for a lifetime.
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This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Tubi has been gaining popularity due to its free sign-up and a vast selection of series and films. According to Deadline, the FAST (free ad-streaming television) service has seen a 14.7% growth from May and now has similar numbers to Disney+. So while many people have joked about Tubi having low-budget movies, the numbers don't lie.
In fact, I was one of those people who didn't get the appeal of Tubi, but the more I watched it, the more I enjoyed the content. They have some of our favorite TV series, such as Scandal and Star, as well as big films like the Fast and Furious franchise and cult classic Love & Basketball.
Tubi even has its own original movies and series that are just as entertaining. But while Tubi is on the come up, some of the low-budget movies and hood movies are still a must-watch. From Tubi originals to the hood movies, we've put together a list of shows and movies to add to your watchlist.
Cinnamon
Cinnamon is an original Tubi movie that stars Hailey Kilgore (Juke from Power Book III: Raising Kanan), Damon Wayans, and Pam Grier. It's a love story gone awry after a robbery turns deadly, and a young couple faces many challenges to make it out alive.
The Dirty D
The Dirty D is one of the first things I watched on Tubi, as many people highly recommended it. It's a series set in a Detroit club, and it has all the drama you can think of. Murder, drug dealing, cheating, greed, and more.
Black Men Don't Cheat
In this film, a young woman grapples with the death of her husband while also discovering his secret life, which puts her in danger.
Mother May I
This movie fully captivates the overbearing mother. However, the ending will shock you as she goes a little too far.
The Stepdaughter
When a young girl moves in with her dad and his new wife, a series of unfortunate events occurs. This Tubi original will keep your attention with every turn.
These Men For Everybody
These Men For Everybody is a film that highlights the tangled web of friendships and relationships and how you can't trust anybody.
Best Friend
What happens when your best friend is obsessed with you? This movie, which stars Serayah and Marques Houston, answers this very question and takes us on a ride in the process.
What's Done After Dark
What's Done After Dark shows us that everything isn't always what it seems. The twist at the end is a real doozy.
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