How To Practice Gratitude When There's Grief At The Table
The holidays are widely known as a time for celebration. It is a time when many people gather together to engage in community, cultivate connection and experience the joy of togetherness. Hallmark movies play on most TV screens and the dinner table is spread to serve people in abundance. A season that is often widely known for joy, can simultaneously be a season of grief for many. There are folks who will go through this holiday season with someone they love missing from the dinner table. A stocking that would usually be found hanging over the fireplace will be out of sight. No one talks about the heaviness of death and loss during the holidays.
Losing a loved one is a deeply complex and difficult experience to navigate. We are all wired for connection, and when the thread called life that ties us together is severed, it brings forth a multitude of emotions, many of which are painful, and rightfully so. The first year after a death is often the most painful because it elicits the shocking reminder that the person you love is gone and all of the traditions you hold will look different compared to the past.
Grief is an emotional response to loss, and as we approach this holiday season many people find peace and healing in shifting their attention to gratitude as a way to manage the heaviness of their loss. Gratitude is a way to honor those who have passed and celebrate the life they lived as well as the memories that were shared.
Here are a few tips to help you make space for gratitude after losing a loved one this holiday season:
1.Manage anticipatory grief.
After losing a loved one, the thought of the holidays approaching can actually be more triggering than the holiday itself. The anxiety of it all may make people decide to cancel their holiday plans, not make any at all, or become filled with dread when it comes to planning. When we are grieving, it is normal to hope for things to be the same, but when a loved one passes away, things will be different and that’s okay too. Consider the things that are making you anxious as you begin planning and find ways to meet yourself where you are by focusing on how you would want to honor your loved one.
2.Honor the duality of your emotions.
As people, we often get stuck in black-and-white thinking which causes us to shrink the complexity of our humanness. It is important to remember that we are people who are capable of holding space for many feelings at once, which means as you make space for joy and gratitude, it is okay to honor and own that you are simultaneously feeling anger, sorrow, sadness, and more. We do not have to pick one over the other, we are allowed to let our feelings co-exist. Give yourself permission to feel all of your emotions, not just the good ones.
3.Stay connected to family and friends for support and comfort.
Grief can be so painful to manage it might cause us to withdraw or isolate ourselves from others, but that only worsens the pain. Making space for gratitude can look like being connected to those you love and having an understanding of the grief that you are going through. The loss of a loved one doesn’t just impact you alone, it impacts the family system and others who are connected to it. Use this time to gather together with others and share memories and stories that honor the dead but also creates an atmosphere of support and comfort.
4.Make space for gratitude by finding ways to honor your loved one.
A beautiful way to tap into gratitude this holiday season is by honoring the person who passed on and the impact they had on your life. Actionable ways to honor them can look like cooking their favorite dish, using one of their special recipes, sharing stories about them, or even reflecting on the impact they had on you. Some reflection questions to think of include:
- I am grateful to have known this person because…
- This person positively impacted my life by….
- I want to honor their legacy by…
5.Create new rituals/traditions to cope with the loss of your loved one.
When a loved one passes on, it can be painful trying to keep the same routine or tradition so starting a new one might be a way to express gratitude for what was, as you make space for something new. New traditions can look like assigning new roles to people who may be assisting with hosting, prepping dinner, etc. opting out of cooking all together and going out to a restaurant, or even trying new recipes to avoid being triggered by that dish your loved one always used to cook.
When dealing with grief, it is always important to remember this: You are allowed to grieve and express gratitude without feeling guilt. There is nothing wrong or bad about focusing on good things and positive memories. You get to decide what your heart can handle and remember that both grief and gratitude can co-exist.
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Your Go-To Matcha Latte Just Got A Fruit-Inspired Summer Refresh
Can we talk about the grip that matcha lattes have on us? While I’ll always be an iced caramel latte (with oat milk) type of girl to the core, matcha lattes have become a must-have, pick-me-up to get me through the day.
If you’re anything like me, your FYP and explore page is probably filled with pretty matcha recipes that are just begging for you to try. And with these green, semi-sweet lattes quickly becoming a go-to for emotional-support beverage drinkers, it’s hard not to resist the temptation of a delicious and calming sip or two.
Matcha is a type of green tea that originated in Japan and is known for its vibrant green color, fine powder texture, and distinctive flavor. The traditional way of preparing matcha involves whisking the powder with hot water until it forms a frothy mixture, which can then be combined with smoothies, lattes, and other treats.
Not only is it high in antioxidants, but it also has been shown to have a number of health benefits, including reducing stress and anxiety, and a good source of L-theanine, an amino acid that can promote relaxation and improve mental focus.
Some newcomers to the tea may need a little convincing to come around to its distinctive, leafy taste, however, some new variations to the transitional technique could offer a sweet experience that will make them a true matcha believer.
Outside of milk, which is matcha’s creamy companion, strawberries and mango are two of the latest fruits to be paired with matcha and are unlocking new, refreshing recipes to try for the warmer months ahead. To get you started, we’ve provided a simple, yet tasty recipe for strawberry and mango matcha that you can try at home:
Easy Mango and Strawberry Matcha Recipe
@vanessafaga pink everything all february🍵🍓💕 #fyp #matchalatte #matcha #strawberrymatcha #pinkeverything #pinkmatcha
Ingredients:
- 1 cup of oat milk/almond milk
- 1/2 cup of strawberries, hulled and sliced (or),
- 1/2 cup of mango, peeled and diced
- 1 teaspoon of matcha powder
- 1 teaspoon of honey/agave
- Ice cubes
Instructions:
- In a small bowl, add 1 teaspoon of matcha powder.
- Add a small amount of hot water to the matcha powder (about 1/4 cup) and whisk vigorously with a bamboo whisk or a small whisk until the matcha powder is dissolved and there are no lumps. You should end up with a thick paste-like mixture.
- If desired, add 1 tablespoon of honey or sugar to sweeten.
- Add 1/2 cup of sliced strawberries or diced mango to a blender and blend until smooth.
- Fill a glass with ice cubes and pour the fruit and matcha mixture over the ice.
- Sip slowly and enjoy!
Here are 4 more matcha recipes in action:
@kristeacafe fruity matcha lattes >> 🤭🥭 #matchalatterecipe #mangomatchalatte
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