Black Women's Equal Pay Day: 5 Real Solutions To Change The Game And Empower Ourselves

We all know that Black women, as educated, talented, and amazing as we are, have been paid and treated unequally in traditional workplaces for decades, especially when it comes to our pay.
To bring attention to the gender pay gap, the U.S. has recognized Equal Pay Day yearly, on March 15, since the mid-'90s, an effort sparked by the National Committee on Pay Equity. Then a shift happened where there was a vital need to specifically highlight pay disparities by ethnicity.
Recent research has found that, on average, Black women make 58 cents for every dollar their white male counterparts make, while white women make 73 cents for every dollar made by white men. (In other words, according to the AAUW, Black women make 42% less than white men and 21% less than white women.)
Black Women’s Equal Pay Day is commemorated on Sept. 21 to bring to light how much longer it takes for us to catch up to the earnings of her white counterparts.
While the overarching key to destroying the pay gap, especially for Black women, lies in the hands of the U.S. government and corporate leaders and requires major systemic shifts in how women are recruited, how their salaries are budgeted and negotiated, how companies are legally held responsible for breaches in pay equity, and other vital systemic changes related to bias and discrimination, there are ways we can empower ourselves, advocating for equal pay and ensuring that we get what we deserve. Here are five ways to do so in your workplace:

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1. Always, always, always negotiate your salary, and get advisement if needed.
It might seem intimidating to push back after getting a great job offer, especially if the offer seems amazing. Research has shown that women are less likely to negotiate when it comes to salary, and they're leaving millions of dollars on that table. That notion alone is enough reason for you to speak up to at least see whether there's more that you should be getting for your talent and time.
No matter what job you're up for or the field you're in, always do your research on what a reasonable salary and benefits package should be and consider your lifestyle, unique talents, and credentials before accepting an offer.
You can look up salaries via sites like Glassdoor or Salary.com or follow IG pages like Salary Transparent Street to get a gauge of how much people make at their respective jobs. It's also a good idea to do a bit of informal comparative research in your real-life network and ask others about their salary negotiation and pay experiences.
Talking with a lawyer, leadership coach, trusted friend, family member, or someone who has sustained a successful and lucrative career is a good idea as well, especially if you're up for a management, director, or executive position. My best career decisions related to salary negotiations and advocating for what I deserve have been made with advisement from mentors (several of whom were men) and my own mom, who handles budgets and has experience in hiring decisions, and who has, unfortunately, often been one of the only Black people in leadership in her workplace.

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2. Once in a leadership position, use your voice, actions, and influence to push for fair compensation practices.
If you're a manager, a leader in the C-suite, or a business owner (whether a small or mid-sized company), find ways to advocate for equal pay for employees, especially when recruiting new talent. Look into the way in which you set salaries and how you perceive "value" when it comes to an employee. Hire a consultant, do your research, and talk with teams to see what is feasible, what expectations exist, and what biases you might be holding as they relate to gender and pay.
Sometimes it's as simple as just offering women fair salaries, especially if you're the one handling budgets or one of the decision-makers for budgets and approvals.
Speak up when you see issues of inequity in pay. (In some cases, there are legal issues associated with this, as well as your possible role as an accomplice to wrongdoing.) Help create an environment where pay is talked about openly and honestly and where there's a sense of fairness exhibited via actual policies (on paper and enforceable). Offer options to compensate women that are also complimentary to salary in ways that accommodate women's needs that, while outside of work, affect the work that they do (ie. childcare, PTO, healthcare, and performance incentives).
When all else fails, withdraw your talents (via resignation) or support from companies that have historically been known for not paying women equally or who have supported, in action, policies that don't make equity a priority. Take legal action when applicable.
There are indeed women who see equal pay as a major factor in their leadership values. I'll never forget the time when a Black woman CEO upped my employment offer by several thousand dollars (on top of the negotiated salary I'd already asked for). It was profound to me because it showed that, while words are encouraging and offering opportunities is awesome, she put money where her advocacy was. It also reminded me to continue doing the same when I'm in the position to negotiate with freelancers and team members I've been privileged to lead and hire.

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3. Build community and rally fellow women professionals, entrepreneurs, and leaders to change policies and culture around pay.
While there's a disparity when it comes to Black women CEOs at major Fortune 500 companies, businesses are significantly impacted by women (and we represent more than 56% of the workforce) so it's a good idea to build community with fellow women at your company and others. When it comes to systemic change, there's power in numbers. Set precedents and rally for changes that urge companies to follow suit. Being strategic about partnering with other women to ensure that compensation offers are not only equal but actually match the time and talent investment of the employee is just good business.
While we often talk about challenges related to white women being allies, there's also a crabs-in-a-barrel sense that Black women do not support one another, especially when in leadership positions, and thus do not actively advocate for one another, via action, when it comes to advancement and pay. This is something that can change.
If we all seek to walk in our purpose, look out for one another (when fair and appropriate), and think of the bigger picture, we can help to close the gap. For example, early in my career, I was told that I was getting market value for a job. After researching, I found that notion to be true and accepted the offer. However, I later found out that a peer—with similar experience and credentials, working in the same industry—was making much more than me at a company of the same size and stature.
While she, a fellow Black media professional, definitely earned less than her male counterparts at her company, it taught me two important lessons: Just because one company is offering a "reasonable" salary, doesn't mean it's fair or equitable, and it would have been a smart move to gain a new friend and support system by authentically connecting with this particular person instead of thinking of her as competition.

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In another situation, I got the chance to advocate for a young woman who was a former coworker. I had about a decade more experience than she did and had gained managerial experience by then, so I knew how salary negotiations worked. She was up for a position at another major global brand and was about to take an offer that not only was a case of low-balling, but it also would have made it difficult for her to sustain a decent lifestyle in that market. And based on the nature of the job, she certainly deserved more.
She felt uncomfortable asking for more money due to the brand and its popularity. There was a fear she'd lose out and end up with no job. I advised her to increase the salary ask and to be kind but assertive in refusing to take the offer until they gave in. I even told her exactly what to say and troubleshot scenarios with her.
She ended up getting $20,000 more than they'd initially offered, accepted the position, got the experience she needed to upgrade her skills and resume, and ended up, later, finding success as a self-employed consultant. She expressed to me that she was grateful for my words of encouragement and guidance. As Black women, we must do our part, small or large to ensure that our sisters are confident, respected, and able to shift the narrative on what people can get away with when it comes to paying us.
4. Support organizations, influencers, and activists shedding light on the issue and/or fighting for equal pay.
You might not feel you're called to activism or fights of a legal nature, and that's okay. You can still do your part by donating to a reputable organization that advocates for pay equity and actively fights against efforts that do not accommodate fair pay for Black women in particular. Like, share, and comment on social posts that offer truthful, research-based, and authentic content about pay for women. (Need a few to start with? Check out the accounts like Ladies Get Paid, The Broke Black Girl, Influencer Pay Gap, or Your Corporate Black Girl.)
Organizations like UN Women, the AAUW, the ACLU, the National Coalition of Black Women, and others work to not only advocate for gender equity but to provide resources for women to take action, advance, and succeed. Do your research and find ways to get involved through volunteering or donating.
When we get real about what people are getting paid, it opens up an honest dialogue about the pay gap. Also, you can't really negotiate or change things from a place of ignorance or naivete. While you can gain a general sense of an average salary via certain online platforms and articles, the reality is, well, reality, and different companies have their respective barriers, biases, company cultures, challenges, and bottom lines.
Behind stats, research reports and statistics are actual people and situations that provide context and true understanding. Knowing the real deal about real-life issues associated with pay is more than helpful and getting real-life knowledge on these things is key.

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5. Use social media, conferences, and events as opportunities to keep the conversation going and spread awareness about the pay gap all year round.
We all like reposting and sharing funny and entertaining content on our social accounts, and it's a great idea to add a few facts about the inequity affecting Black women, how people can fight against it, or, at the very least, how we, as Black women, can stand up for ourselves. Also, information is power, so sharing facts about salary negotiation, how much people actually make in certain positions or at certain companies, and calling out companies that accommodate or actively participate in adding to the problem are great ways to positively add to the narrative.
When hosting conferences and events, adding the topic of pay, especially to the agendas of those targeted to young Black professionals and entrepreneurs, is a good idea. Also, as attendees of popular conferences and events, speaking up about the content that you're paying for and requesting the inclusion of conversations around salary and pay is key.
If you're paying for an experience that is marketed to enrich you or support your success (and you're, in turn, offering a chance for profit for event producers and organizations) shouldn't you have a say in what you're getting in return? Otherwise, why support or go? Even if there are sponsors, what's an event without its attendees? Using our voices via social and at events can help build up infrastructures of solutions-oriented conversations and ultimately, accountability. While it is not the overall solution, it is part of helping to forge the change we need to see.
We face tremendous challenges as Black women in the workplace, however, we can do our part in empowering ourselves by boldly speaking up, supporting one another beyond performative rhetoric, shedding archaic stereotypes, and truly unifying to close the gap through one deliberate act of strategy and defiance at a time.
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This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Dreaming Of A White Christmas? These 7 Winter Wonderland Destinations Are Perfect For The Holidays
While most people opt for a tropical vacation during the winter months, there are still many people who want to fulfill their winter wonderland fantasies, which are more than likely centered on watching snow by the fireplace while sipping some hot cocoa.
With Thanksgiving vastly approaching and Christmas a little under a month away, there is still time to ditch the traditional Christmas home to visit family or friends.
Whether you’re looking to put a new stamp on your passport and keep things domestic with a destination in the States, xoNecole has you covered with a few hotspots for those itching to go somewhere cold (but with cozy vibes) this holiday season.
Aspen, Colorado
Our Christmas queen, Mariah Carey, has been taking an annual trip to this snowy destination since 1997, just three years after dropping the track that would make her the unofficial (but official to us) ambassador of the winter holiday.
Aside from being a key vacation spot for one of the culture’s greatest musicians, Aspen also offers travelers access to world-class skiing and snowboarding and four distinct mountains that provide the perfect backdrop for a winter vacation.
Whistler, British Columbia, Canada
Home to the largest ski resort in North America, Whistler Blackcomb, this destination is located in the Coast Mountain Range and is about 75 miles north of Vancouver.
From luxury spas like Scandinave Spa Whistler to Olympic Park, this is another top winter vacation spot that offers a unique experience for people who love snow and the thrill of a good adventure.
Western Massachusetts
Dubbed the place for a magical holiday escape, Springfield, Massachusetts, blends the warmth of small-town charm with unforgettable experiences like Grinchmas at Springfield Museums, Winterlights at Naumkeag in Stockbridge, Historic Deerfield’s Winter Frolic, and many others.
This destination offers something for all ages, and it’s close to home, making it all the more reason to place on your radar for a winter getaway.
Rovaniemi, Finland
If you want to really get into the Christmas spirit, this just may be the place for you. As the official home to Saint Nick himself, Rovaniemi, Finland offers reindeer sleigh rides, the opportunity to stay in a glass igloo, as well as an opportunity to experience the Santa Claus Village.
Lake Tahoe, California/Nevada
Who says that visits to the lake house are only reserved for summer vacation? A winter trip to Lake Tahoe is equipped with stunning lake views and top-notch ski resorts, including Heavenly and Northstar.
Chamonix, France
Sitting at the base of Mont Blanc, Chamonix, France, is known for its skiing and mountaineering. This destination is home to the Aiguille du Midi cable car, the charming Alpine village, and is also close to various other European ski destinations.
Northeastern Pennsylvania
This area of the U.S. state is home to the Poconos Mountains, whose renowned ski resorts include Camelback Mountain, Blue Mountain, and Jack Frost Big Boulder. Whether you’re a ski expert, a beginner, or just there for the vibes, this destination makes for a winter vacation that balances fun adventures and cozy getaways. Additionally, Pennsylvania is home to the Christmas Tree Capital of the world.
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Originally published on November 23, 2024









