

In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
As the summer comes to an end, we must welcome the time for change. Say goodbye to summer and hello to cooler weather! And we know what that means ladies: We have to switch up our fashion trends, how we wear our hair, and even our skincare routines. When it comes to skincare, we as Black queens have to make sure our products are on point for all the seasons. It is crucial for us to protect our blessed and melanated beauty.
You would think with the amount of trends and dollars being put behind beauty brands, that there would be better representation in the medical field to help us understand our skin better from the jump. Unfortunately, Black physicians only make up 5% of the physician population, and if we want to talk about Black dermatologists specifically, well that number is even lower.
Recently, I interviewed Brianna Olamiju, a resident doctor who graduated this past May and is joining that 3% helping to keep all shades of our skin healthy and poppin'. Brianna's interest in medicine began during childhood. She wondered why few doctors looked like her. As a college student, she majored in race and ethnicity studies at Columbia University in New York City and went on to attend medical school at Yale University. Now that she's in a new chapter in her journey, Brianna is focusing on balancing her personal as well as her professional life.
"Before I am a physician, I am a friend, a daughter, and a mentor. While I love being a doctor, those are the titles I cherish the most."
Representation is so important for our community, in all industries. We must receive the best care from our doctors, especially those who look like us. In this installment of Finding Balance, we talked to Brianna about being a Black woman in medicine, setting personal goals, and the importance of your own self-care survival kit.
Courtesy of Brianna Olamiju
What is your WHY?
Brianna: Each and every day, I go to work to serve my patients. I know there are a lot of patients in need and I see the joy on some of their faces when I walk in the room and they see a Black doctor. My goal as a Black doctor is to help decrease healthcare disparities. I didn't see a lot of Black doctors growing up, so I aspire to be someone younger girls can look up to if they want to pursue the medical field as well.
At what point in your life did you understand the importance of pressing pause and finding balance in both your personal and professional life?
So, as you can probably guess, medical school is very demanding. There were times where I would question myself about how badly I really wanted this. I remember studying for my first board exam for three months and it would take 8 to 10 hours each day. I would find myself feeling really sad and anxious during that time. Then, I realized I had to take a step back and start taking better care of myself. So I started reconnecting with my family and friends and added working out more into my routine to feel more balanced.
What did a typical week in medical school look like for you?
In medical school, each year is different. In my last year of my medical school, I did a research year, so I was studying dermatological conditions on [minority] patients. I would visit different patients and learn their stories of what they were experiencing. There were also times when I would run data stats to see what treatment options are best for patients to help their skin.
How do you wind down at night?
I usually try to go to a gym class because it gives me the structure that I need. In the gym, I've also been able to find community. The gym has really helped me let go of the day and get ready for the next one.
Courtesy of Brianna Olamiju
What advice would you give other Black women who are looking to pursue medical school?
Medical school can be hard for anyone, but [going to] medical school and being a Black woman can make things tougher. You are going to experience microaggressions and it's important to assert yourself to remind people that you belong there. We are needed in the field so you must push through, ignore the naysayers, and remember your why.
What would you say is your favorite self-care practice and why?
After a long busy day, I like to give myself quiet time. I like to reflect on the day and I like to reaffirm myself. Being the only Black woman can really negatively affect your self-confidence so I love meditation and my quiet time. I have so many thoughts swirling in my head all day, so during that quiet time, I am able to process my thoughts better. After being by myself away from the noise, I feel recharged and ready to take on anything.
What advice do you have for busy women who feel like they don’t have time for self-care?
To-do lists have been so key for me. Ever since college, I have been using to-do lists to help keep me on track. Checking off something from your list is a really good feeling, too. Another thing that I encourage women to do is to just say "no." While a lot of people want to get a "yes," saying "no" is a form of self-preservation. Saying "yes" all the time to different people can get so draining. So once you learn to say "no," it makes you feel better and it is the best boundary you can create for yourself in order to really prioritize self-care.
"I encourage women to do is to just say 'no.' While a lot of people want to get a 'yes,' saying 'no' is a form of self-preservation. Once you learn to say 'no,' it makes you feel better and it is the best boundary you can create for yourself in order to really prioritize self-care."
Courtesy of Brianna Olamiju
When you are going through a bout of uncertainty or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
I usually like to lean in on my people or my family for advice and get their feedback. But more importantly, I pray when I am feeling anxious and focus on calming my mind, whether that is [by] listening to some smooth R&B or meditative sounds.
What are some lessons about unhealthy habits you learned from in medical school that you apply as a full-time dermatologist?
I've learned that less is more. It is better to be involved in a few activities and completely immerse yourself in them rather than being in too many activities and spreading yourself thin. In the beginning, I thought it would look good on my resume to be involved in a lot of things to impress people, but I learned from my mentors that it is better to be deeper in a small number of activities than shallow in many activities. So when trying to balance it all, I'll make sure I have enough on my plate where I still have room to just breathe.
If you could create your own self-survival kit, what would be the top three self-care items you'd list?
On this list would be another list and that is my to-do list (laughs). The next thing on my list would be a reminder to get seven hours of sleep a night. Sleep is everything for me. My third item is my skincare routine. As a dermatologist, you know I have to add that in there, as cheesy as it may sound!
What does success mean to you vs happiness?
I consider success to be building your career and reaching those personal milestones—when you're really making sure you're growing every single day. For happiness, happiness is being at peace with yourself. You feel comfort with yourself, your future, and surrounding yourself with the people you love the most.
For more about Brianna, follow her on Instagram @brianna_med.
Learn more about Brianna by following her on Instagram @brianna_med.
Featured image courtesy of Brianna Olamiju
'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Quinta Brunson Gets Real About Divorce, Boundaries & Becoming
Quinta Brunson is the woman who chooses herself, even when the world is watching. And in her June 30 cover story for Bustle, she gives us a rare glimpse into the soft, centered place she's navigating her life from now. From leading one of television's most beloved series in the last decade to quietly moving through life shifts, the creator of Abbott Elementary is walking through a personal evolution and doing so with intention, grace, and a firm grip on her boundaries.
Back in March, the 35-year-old filed for divorce from Kevin Jay Anik after nearly three years of marriage, citing "irreconcilable differences." The news hit the headlines of news outlets fast, but Quinta hadn't planned to announce their dissolution to the public so quickly.
Quinta Brunson On Divorce, Public Scrutiny & Sacred Boundaries
"I remember seeing people be like, ‘She announced her divorce,’" she told Bustle. “I didn’t announce anything. I think people have this idea that people in the public eye want the public to know their every move. None of us do. I promise you. No one wants [everyone] to know when you buy a house, when you move, when a major change happens in your personal life. It’s just that that’s public record information."
In regards to her private moves becoming tabloid fodder, Quinta continued, "I hated that. I hate all of it."
"I Am An Artist First": Quinta On Cutting Her Hair & Reclaiming Herself
Still, the diminutive phenom holds her crown high in the face of change and is returning to the essence of who she is, especially as an artist. "Cutting my hair reminded me that I am an artist first. I want to feel things. I want to make choices. I want to be a person, and not just stuck in having to be a certain way for business." It's giving sacred rebirth. It's giving self-liberation. It's especially giving main character energy.
And while the headlines keep spinning their narratives, the one that Quinta is focused on is her own. For her, slowing down and nourishing herself in ways that feed her is what matters. "It’s a transitional time. I think it’s true for me and my personal life, and it’s how I feel about myself, my career, and the world," Quinta shared with Bustle. “I feel very serious about focusing on watering my own gardens, taking care of myself and the people around me who I actually interact with day-to-day."
That includes indulging in simple rituals that ground her like "making myself a meal" which has become "really, really important to me."
That spirit of agency doesn't stop at the personal. In her professional world, as the creator, executive producer, and lead actress of the critically-acclaimed Abbott Elementary, Quinta understands the weight her choices carry, both on- and off-screen. She revealed to Bustle, "People used to tell me at the beginning of this that the No. 1 on the call sheet sets the tone, and the producer sets the tone — and I’m both of those roles."
She continued, "I understand now, after doing this for four years, how important it was that I set the tone that I did when we first started."
Quinta doesn't just lead, she understands the importance of curating the energy of any space she enters. Even amid a season of shifts and shedding, her power speaks loudly. Sometimes that power looks like quiet resistance. Sometimes that power is soft leadership.
And sometimes that power looks like cutting your hair and taking back your name in rooms that have forgotten you were an artist long before you were a brand.
Read Quinta's cover story on Bustle here to witness the fullness of Quinta's becoming.
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Featured image by Zach Hilty/BFA.com/Shutterstock