I don't know about y'all, but it seems like these days, every time I go to the gas station or the grocery store, I find myself saying "WTF?" (sometimes audibly, sometimes not) when I notice the prices. It really is amazing that with the work and housing crises that we're currently going through, somehow we're also trying to figure out how to make $20 to get our gas talk above a quarter full and a hundred bucks to get us past two plastic grocery bags.
While it's pretty hard to come up with gas hacks, in the spirit of doing what I can to get y'all ready for the holiday season, I did want to share several grocery shopping hacks; 12 that can hopefully get you more bang for your buck, so that itw can be as stressless (on your budget) as possible.
1. Download an App
These days, there's an app for just about everything. The cool thing about grocery-related ones is many of them can help you to keep some extra coins in your pocket. Ones that you should definitely check out include Checkout 51 (which gives you a list of offers, then gives you cash back whenever you purchase something that's on the list), ibotta (which gives you money when you take a pic of your receipt and submit it; you need to reach $20 and you typically get it back within a day) and Coupons (which offers a good variety of paperless coupons that you can easily scan at checkout).
2. Use a Calculator
Now tell the truth — how often do you actually use the calculator app that is there for your convenience on your smartphone? I once read that a couple should be spending around $130-150 a week on groceries; however, with inflation and all of this shipping drama that's currently going on, it's a pretty safe assumption that you should set aside $25-50 more, just to be on the safe side. Since groceries are a bit higher, going into the store on a set budget and then making sure that you honor said-budget by keeping track of your costs with a calculator can help you to get what you need without stressing out in the process (so can using the handheld or smaller baskets and/or purchasing generic brands).
3. Get Produce at a Local Farmers Market
Fresher fruits and veggies. A wider variety. Cheaper prices. Support of local farmers. Better for the environment. These are just a few solid reasons why you should consider not getting your produce at the grocery store and stopping by your local farmers market instead. I can't tell you how many times I've compared costs in my mind and honestly been pretty pissed by how much a grocery chain will charge for not nearly as much or delicious as a farmers market does (Whole Foods is absolutely not exempt in this case either).
4. At the Store, Get Things in Season
Speaking of produce, if you click right here, you will be taken to a site that will provide you with information about when different fruits and vegetables are available, based on the season of the year that you are in. And just why should you care? For one thing, produce is best for you when it's in season. And when it comes to saving money, purchasing it when it's in season means that you should be able to get stuff at a lower cost because your grocery store will be carrying an abundance of it all. Make sense?
5. Don’t Turn Your Nose Up at Aldi’s, Trader Joe’s and Walmart
Earlier this year, I checked out an article entitled, "America Just Named Its Cheapest Grocery Store. Do You Shop There?" Can you guess which one it is? I mean, it's in the title and yes, Aldi's, it is. While they don't tend to have as much of a variety, a lot of your "staple stuff", you can get for much cheaper. The same goes for Trader Joe's, Walmart, Walmart Neighborhood Market (I don't really like their produce, but their meat costs are bar none), and Costco's. Oh, and while Target wasn't on the list, I do know quite a few people who get groceries from there. If you scan the circle on your Target app, it'll take you to deals throughout that store. You're welcome.
6. Learn the Bottom Shelf/Outer Aisle Trick
Grocery stores are a business too, right? This means that they've got their own marketing strategies. One of them is putting some of their most expensive stuff at eye level because that's what will catch your attention first. That said, a workaround for this is to be intentional about looking for what's on their bottom shelves and outer aisles. If you do a bit of comparing, it might shock you how much you can stand to save by applying this lil' trick to your shopping routine.
7. A Few Meat-Buying Tips
Hats off to all vegetarians and vegans (did you peep the recent report tied to veganism and depression? Thoughts?). Personally, I am a meat-eater and not ashamed of it. If you're a part of my tribe, I've got a few tips for you. One, although tougher meats are more expensive than tender cuts, oftentimes butchers will run your tougher orders through a tenderizer if you ask them to (sometimes you can get better cuts if you tip them on the low too). Two, get meat based on the portions that you actually need. What I mean by that is, if you know that you're not going to eat an entire roast, ask the butcher to cut the roast in half so that you don't waste any and, since they weigh by the pound, you can save a couple of dollars. Three, don't overlook the area where meat is marked way down. Just make sure to cook it ASAP or that you immediately freeze it properly. Four, the holidays are the perfect time to stock up on meat for your freezer.
For instance, Thanksgiving is going to have a lot of turkeys and because those bad boys can't sit around forever, stores are going to cut the rate (especially the day before and after the holiday) so that they can get rid of them.
8. Stock Up on Frozen Stuff (and Freezing Stuff)
According to many health experts, frozen fruits and veggies are just about as healthy as fresh produce is. The reason why they can actually be better for you, in the long run, is fresh produce tends to expire pretty quickly (which means you have to hurry up and eat it or toss it when it goes bad) while frozen stuff lasts much longer and is cheaper too. Just make sure that you read the labels carefully to make sure that the brand that you go with is low on preservatives, additives, sugar, and salt. Oh, and when it comes to buying frozen meat, to avoid freezer burn, it's important to vacuum seal everything. While the better ones are going to run you between $100-200, they are worth every dime considering how long they're able to keep so much of your food nice and fresh. A list of some of the top ones is provided for you here.
9. Remember That You Can “Break Up” Bulk Deals
Something that it took me a second to catch is when you see those "Get 10 for such-and-such price" bulk deals, you don't have to purchase all 10 items. If you get just two, you will still end up with a discounted rate. And how can you be sure that you don't overdo it on the bulk stuff, in general? Easy — take a picture of the inside of your refrigerator and pantry before you head out. That way, you can easily recall what you need and what you've already got a ton of.
10. Cop a Rotisserie Chicken
I honestly can't think of the last time that I went into a grocery store — pretty much any grocery store — and I didn't see a mini-kiosk that had a whole bunch of rotisserie chickens on it. Good thing too because that kind is healthier than fried chicken, is affordable as all get out (usually a whole one is less than ten bucks) and it's so easy to prepare a meal with, with plenty of room for leftovers if there aren't a ton of people in your house. I have spared myself a "shame drive" to a drive-thru several times by picking up a rotisserie on the way home. If you've never considered it before, I promise you won't regret it.
11. Take Advantage of Bulk Bins
If you're a single gal like myself, it can be challenging to grocery shop in smaller servings. When it comes to this, one hack to apply is to get things like beans, spices, and grains out of bulk bins. That way, you can measure out exactly what you want; especially if you're experimenting with a new recipe and you're not exactly sure if you want to "marry yourself" to some of the ingredients just yet.
12. Avoid Shopping After Work
While some of y'all might be tempted to "yeah right" me on this one, when you're too hungry or too tired to go grocery shopping, you don't tend to make the best decisions because you're not as alert as you should be. So, while it's OK to cop a couple of items real quick when you're on the way home after a long day at work, try and do your major shopping on the weekends, on your lunch break, or at least after taking an hour nap. That way, you won't be rushed, anxious or so ravenous that you end up making unwise shopping decisions. Make sense? Cool.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
Mastering The Art Of Talking Your Partner Through Orgasm: A Guide To Confidence And Connection
I have never been particularly good at dirty talk, but I love, love, love hearing it. Whenever I am getting close to “finishing,” I cue my partner, breathlessly stating, “Talk to me” or “Tell me you want it.” What I didn't know until more recently is that I am asking them to “talk me through it.” But what exactly does that mean? How can you learn to do it, or better yet, how can you get your partner to do it for you? (Go ahead and send them a link to this article, sis!)
In today’s world, the conversation around sex and intimacy is evolving rapidly. Platforms like TikTok have brought once-taboo topics around sex and intimacy into the mainstream. Recently, some of the men on TikTok have been sharing tips on "talking your partner through orgasm"—using verbal cues to guide your partner to and through their climax. It’s not just about talking dirty, but about being in tune with your partner’s emotions and body, enhancing both the physical and emotional aspects of the experience.
For Black women, who often find themselves at the intersection of societal expectations and personal desires, the need for open communication in sexual relationships is especially important. Many of us aren’t sure how to ask for the verbal affirmations that excite us. So let's dive into how you can master this art form.
What Does It Mean to "Talk Your Partner Through It"?
Talking your partner through orgasm can look (or sound) like a few different things. It involves using words and verbal cues to guide them to climax. Unlike regular dirty talk, which may be more about fantasy or teasing, talking your partner through orgasm is about being present in the moment, offering guidance, affirmation, or even instructions as your partner reaches their peak.
Marcqwuan, a sex educator and relationship expert, explains it perfectly:
“For me, talking her through it is a moment within a sexual experience where your partner is climaxing, and you use that special moment to communicate with your partner. Every moment is different.”
But this form of dirty talk isn’t one size fits all. It should be tailored to your partner’s desires, kinks, and needs in the moment.
But why do people go wild for this type of dirty talk? Whitni Miller, Sex Educator and Pleasure Coach, emphasizes, “For starters, it creates a sense of emotional closeness. A little positive reinforcement can make her feel like a goddess. Plus, words have power, and when you turn up the volume on verbal cues, feelings of pleasure can get cranked to 11. And who doesn’t want a bit more oomph as they approach the finale?”
Our senses play an important role when it comes to sexual satisfaction, and hearing your partner whisper sweet nothings while you approach your “O” can help make a lasting impression that keeps you coming back again and again.
Why Dirty Talk Feels Awkward (And How to Get Over It)
For some of us, the idea of dirty talk, especially in a moment as intimate as orgasm, can feel awkward or unnatural. We may not be able to think of the right thing to say or even hesitate for fear of sounding corny. The concern of saying the wrong thing or ruining the mood often holds people back. But most of these barriers are all in our heads.
Dakota Ramppen, certified sex educator, acknowledges these challenges, stating, “Some people get stuck in their heads wondering if what they’re saying is sexy enough or if they sound ridiculous. That hesitation kills the vibe.” But, be aware, your partner may not always want to hear your voice when getting close to their big “O.” Dakota continues, “If she’s in a zone and you’re too forceful or not saying the right things, you could break her rhythm.”
Part of talking your partner through it requires conversation outside of the bedroom, so you can be clear and confident about what they want. The other piece is intuitive and takes watchful practice.
Overcoming that awkward feeling involves communication and repetition. Before diving into talking your partner through orgasm, have an open conversation about what kinds of phrases or cues your partner likes. Witni says, “Adjust your approach based on her responses…find out together what makes her tick!” Start with words or phrases that feel comfortable to you and build from there. It also doesn’t hurt to have a few key phrases memorized (more on this in a few.)
After all, your partner won’t know if your sweet words are preplanned or improvised.
For Him: Tips on Talking Her Through Orgasm
Fellas, this part is for you! When it comes to talking your woman through orgasm, the key is to be present and attentive to her needs and body language. It’s not just about saying something sexy—it’s about creating a connection and supporting her as she reaches her peak. Here are a few tips to guide you:
- Be Affirming: Use phrases that affirm her pleasure, such as “You’re so close” or “You feel amazing.” These words can reassure her that she’s in control and that you’re fully engaged in her experience.
- Stay in Tune: Pay attention to her body language and sounds. If she’s speeding up, match her energy with your words, encouraging her to follow through. As Marcqwuan suggests, “If she can’t hear you, get closer to her ear and speak louder.”
- Use Sensory Language: Highlight the physical sensations she’s experiencing. Try saying something like, “I love how your body feels right now.” Describing what you’re feeling can heighten her own sensory awareness.
- Be Encouraging: Reassure her that her pleasure is your priority. Phrases like “Let go for me” or “I want to feel it” help her feel supported and free to enjoy the moment.
For Her: Talking Him Through Orgasm
Women can also take the lead in talking to their male partners through orgasm. The key is confidence and being in tune with your partner’s preferences. Whitni walks us through some tips:
- Confidence is Key: Own the moment and don’t shy away from guiding him through his orgasm. Your partner will likely appreciate your assertiveness, which can enhance his experience.
- Tailor to His Preferences: Use what you know he enjoys most. If he likes teasing or encouragement, lean into that. Dakota suggests: “It’s about creating a verbal map that gets him exactly where he wants to go.”
- Compliment & Tease: Build anticipation with compliments like “You feel so good” or “I love the way you move.” This will increase his arousal and bring him closer to orgasm.
- Encourage Surrender: Use encouraging phrases like “Come for me” or “Give me everything.” This can help your partner let go and fully enjoy the moment.
Universal Best Practices
No matter your gender or role in the relationship, there are universal tips that can help you master the art of talking your partner through orgasm:
- Positive Reinforcement: Affirm your partner’s pleasure with words like “You’re doing so good” or “Don’t stop.” Positive reinforcement helps build confidence and trust.
- Read the Room: Adjust your approach based on your partner’s reactions. If they’re responding well to your words, keep going. If not, switch things up. As Dakota says, “It’s about feeling where they are and matching that energy.”
- Be Genuine: Your words don’t need to be performative. Speak from a place of genuine connection, and your partner will feel that authenticity.
- Experiment and Have Fun: Don’t be afraid to try new phrases or approaches. Every experience is different, and what works today might evolve tomorrow.
Talking your partner through orgasm is a powerful way to deepen intimacy and create a lasting emotional connection. But it's not all about just talking! As Whitni shared, “And don’t forget your listening ears; tuning in to your partner’s needs will keep the experience flowin' and growin'.” It’s about more than just dirty talk—it’s about being present, engaged, and in tune with your partner’s needs.
So the next time you’re in the heat of the moment, don’t be afraid to use your words. You might just find that they’re the key to unlocking a deeper, more satisfying connection.
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