Celebrity Glam Squads Share Their Best Tips For Making It In The Business
When we see every celebrity grace red carpets and attend highly publicized events and parties, we sometimes forget that their whole look from head to toe is often handcrafted by artisans and professionals who work behind the scenes.
From Beyonce's famed makeup artist Sir John to Cardi B's publicist Patience Foster, the team behind the talent are key players in how we experience celebrities. There is a whole team of people that exist beyond the celebrity, and without them, the stars that we know and love would not be quite the same.
I sat down with celebrity wardrobe stylist Jayne Do, celebrity publicist Kiki Ayers, and celebrity makeup artist Camara Aunique to get the scoop on what these behind the scenes queens contribute to celeb style, appearance, and reputation.
The Stylist: Jayne Do
Jayne Do Celebrity StylistPhoto by D. Hinez
How She Got Her Start:
I was a baby when I started, literally. At the age of three was when I created my first design. I have ALWAYS wanted to be a fashion designer. Throughout grade school, I designed clothing and accessories for many competitions, showcases, and fashion shows. You could say I was the "go-to girl" in Houston for a very long time. I was 14 when I began fashion styling, completely by accident. A Missouri musician loved the way I dressed and paid me to dress him and his then girlfriend for an event. I've been a stylist ever since that day."
How She Honed Her Brand:
"Instagram has been very instrumental in that regard. Over the years, I've experimented with many aesthetics. It wasn't until this year that I found one worth sticking with. When styling my celebrity clients, I incorporate my artistry by simply enhancing what they already have to offer. I am very minimal in my approach, many of my clients come to me to aid in cleaning up their image or to take them out of their comfort zones and into the next level of their careers."
Draya Michele for PLEEZER MAGPhoto by Jarrelle Lee
How She Overcomes Job-Related Obstacles:
"Getting consistent clientele as an unsigned artist and figuring out my value were the biggest struggles for me. In addition to that, I am not the most social, hence the alias Jayne Do, and you have to be sort of 'in your face' in this industry. Each of my clients/gigs add a new lesson for me to learn. Some valuable and some completely unnecessary but the industry is too flawed to ever be perfect so I just roll with the punches."
"Each of my clients/gigs add a new lesson for me to learn."
Her Career High Point:
"My greatest accomplishment today is my debut fashion guide, DEAR STYLISTS: A Guide to Upgrading Your Fashion Styling Experience Vol 1., it was the second book I've written, but my first to be published. DEAR STYLISTS is a seven-book series that features Draya Michele on the cover and literally tells you everything you need to know as a beginner stylist. I genuinely believe that this series will change the course of fashion styling forever. I am super proud because for many years, all I've ever wanted to do was create jobs and expand the fashion styling industry and I truly believe that it's a step in the right direction.
Jayne DoPhoto by D. Hinez
Her Advice To Up & Comers:
"Do not let celebrity styling be your initial focus because it is not as glamorous as it seems. Style your everyday people first, learn the industry, and master your craft because once you're in the industry, your reputation is all you have and you will ruin it fast by not knowing what you're doing."
Click here to follow Jayne Do on Instagram.
The Makeup Artist: Camara Aunique
Camara Aunique, Celebrity Makeup Artist
How She Got Her Start:
"I got started working at Macy's. I used to ask other artists to show me how to do makeup. No one wanted to so I taught myself. As I've grown, I've had some amazing artists take me under their wings and [continue to] show me the way."
How She Honed Her Brand:
"The celebs I work with, we always seem to mesh well together. I ask a lot of questions and always make sure I'm giving them the look they want and if it doesn't go well the first time, I keep trying until I find something that makes them happy. It's not about me when I'm working with anyone. It's about how I make them feel."
How She Overcomes Job-Related Obstacles:
"I think a lot of people look at us artists that work with celebrities and think they've made it. That's the end result so they look like, 'Okay, move over my turn.' (Laughs) It doesn't work like that. We're all out here with families to feed. Some days, we're not working. Some days, we're crazy busy. Everything takes time. And know that it could take 10 years for that one year of success!"
Her Career High Point:
"My most recent accomplishments is partying at the Smithsonian Museum of African American History and Culture with Lisa Price, founder of Carol's Daughter. Having dinner on the patio to celebrate 25 years of Carol's Daughter and having a private tour of the museum while it was closed meant the world to me."
Her Advice To Up & Comers:
"Take your time, relax, don't overthink it. Ask questions, but be the expert."
Click here to follow Camara on Instagram.
The Publicist: Kiki Ayers
Kiki Ayers, CEO of Ayers PublicityPhoto by Sana Nodelman
How She Got Her Start:
"I am a self-taught publicist, so I got my start by watching what I would see publicists do as a journalist. I had no experience prior to starting my own company, so everything is trial and era. I learned how to write press releases and pitches by reading so many. I learned how to obtain clients by just reaching out to people I wanted to work with. I feel like in 2018, there's nothing you can't learn how to do. Everything you need to know is just a Google search away."
"In 2018, there's nothing you can't learn how to do."
Why Publicists Are So Needed:
"Publicists are vital for celebrities because when you're in the public eye, it's absolutely important to portray to the public the best image for your career. That's what PR is. Publicists make sure everyone knows all the latest projects you're working on and make sure that you're seen. We do damage control, set up interviews, press runs, secure interviews for TV shows, radio stations, magazine covers, and anything where you can promote yourself or product. It's vital to a person's success."
How She's Overcome Job-Related Obstacles:
"The unseen obstacles you face as a publicists is that nothing is routine. One day, you might be pitching for hours and the next, you might be flying out of the country for a major movie premiere red carpet your client is in. You could be on vacation and then it's cut short because your client is caught in a media scandal and then you have to do damage control. It's a very hard job but very hard and rewarding too."
Her Career High Point:
"One of my greatest accomplishments and celebrity collaborations is doing the gift branding for Jamie Foxx's 50th birthday party, as well as being hired as head of PR for Floyd Mayweather's 41st birthday party. I had one day to get media to come out and it was a huge success."
Photo by Sana Nodelman
Her Advice For Up & Comers:
"The best advice I would give is to not be afraid to put yourself out there. I think people often wait for opportunities to come to them, but in this industry you will have to make a lot of things happen. It won't happen right away so you shouldn't get discouraged. Just be persistent and continue to put yourself out there. Instead of looking for recognition, you should try to create opportunities and the rewards will come to you."
Click here to follow Kiki on Instagram.
Fontaine Felisha Foxworth is a writer and creative entrepreneur from Brooklyn New York. She is currently on the West Coast working on creating a TV Pilot called "Finding Fontaine", that details the nomadic journey of her life so far. Keep up with her shenanigans @famoustaine on IG.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Not too long ago, while in an interview, someone asked me for a top complaint that I hear husbands say (first) and then wives state (second) as it relates to what goes down (or doesn’t go down) in the bedroom.
Ladies first: when it comes to women, I think what comes up more than anything might surprise some: it’s boredom. A lot of wives want there to be more spontaneity instead of taking the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” approach from their partner. As for men? I mean, would anyone be shocked to hear that they wished their wife would initiate sex more often?
I’m telling you, over frequency, technique, and even dressing up more for bed (and yes, those things also come up quite a bit), hands down, what I hear that more men want is for their partner to show them that they are desired by taking the initial steps to make copulation happen…more often.
And so, since I’m all about doing whatever I can to reduce dissatisfaction and frustration in the bedroom department, let’s explore this very topic today — from a few angles. For starters, what it truly means to be a sexual initiator; two, why it’s so vitally important to be a sexual initiator, and three, why it could literally change the entire tone, energy, and outcome of your sex life with your partner — if you’d simply be open to initiating sex more often than you (probably already) do.
What It Means to Initiate Something. LITERALLY.
Giphy
I’m word-literal — there’s no secret about that. So, when it comes to the topic of initiating sex, let’s start with what the word means. To initiate is “to begin, set going, or originate” and “to introduce into the knowledge of some art or subject.” Some synonyms for initiate include begin, open, set up, trigger, admit, introduce, and invest. And when it comes to all of the meanings of these words, between men and women, when it comes to sex specifically, guess who does it more? Men. BY A LONG SHOT TOO: a whopping 60 percent.
When it comes to why a lot of women are so comfortable with men initiating intimacy, many think that, just like men should pursue them for a relationship, it is also “the man’s role” to pursue sex in the bedroom; they literally think that it makes them look desperate or needy for them to be the initiator — yes, even as a wife. What in the world?
Listen, when two people sign up to be each other’s exclusive sex partner until death parts them, it means they are both saying that they desire each other so much that they are willing to make that kind of commitment — and so, there should be no “I don’t want to appear this way or that” when it comes to sexual activity.
So, with all of that ridiculous overthinking out of the way, that should make you want to “set up” some sex plans, “admit” to some sexual fantasies that you may have, and “introduce” some new ideas to your partner; especially since that’s exactly what so many men wish that their lady would do, to begin with.
So, with all of this said, if you’re someone who is hung up on not initiating, first spend some time really processing what the word means. Because when two people are eager to begin sex and invest in each other sexually, that is the recipe for a truly satisfying experience…over and over and over again.
C’mon. Who Doesn’t Want to Feel Wanted?
GiphyI remember once reading an article that said our brain processes rejection the same way that it does physical pain, and y’all, I don’t know about you, but if something is physically hurting me, my natural inclination is to get away from it. Along these lines, when it comes to relationships since research has proven that rejection can lead to things like jealousy, shame, anxiety, loneliness, and guilt — yes, it makes all of the common sense in the world that you would want to do all that you can to make your partner feel wanted…both in and outside of the bedroom because, just like no one wants to deal with physical pain, no one wants to keep dealing with rejection and all of the fallout that comes with it…either.
Actually, when it comes to this particular point, I think that an article that I once read on Psychology Today’s site said it best: “Not only does being needed help define your role in a relationship, but being needed can also influence how satisfied you feel in a relationship.” And before some of you say that “sex is not a need” — the hell you say? I mean, the only purpose of your clitoris is to provide sexual stimulation, so that alone should make us all deem sex (and sexual fulfillment) as pretty damn important.
Plus, by definition, a need is something that is deemed as being essential while also being something that is extremely necessary, and anyone who thinks that a romantic relationship doesn’t need physical intimacy? That’s someone who really needs to remain single because one of the top things that makes a relationship more than a friendship is there is intimacy that’s involved.
Besides, who doesn’t want to feel wanted by their partner — and I do mean, in every way? And when you make the decision to be in an exclusive relationship with someone else, you are declaring that they are someone who pleases you to the point where you don’t need to look for anyone else to do it; and, if that is indeed what you are saying, it doesn’t make sense that you wouldn’t initiate sex with them sometimes (and I do mean more than on their birthday).
One, because you choose them to “fill that role.” Two, because they are the source of your fulfillment in that area. Three, because it’s completely unfair (not to mention totally hypocritical) to expect them to make you feel wanted when you’re not being intentional about making them feel the same way in return. Not to mention the fact that initiating also helps to safeguard your relationship on a lot of levels too.
Since sex is important and rejection is detrimental on so many levels, it’s crucial to make your partner feel sexually wanted and desired by you. One way to definitely do that is to initiate sex.
What Initiating Sex Does for You
GiphySo, what does initiating sex do for the initiator? Something that I tell a lot of my women clients is it helps them to create an atmosphere that puts them in the mood. What I mean by that is, if their husband is perfectly content having sex on the couch during commercials (I’m kind of exaggerating to make a point…kind of…LOL) while they would like some candles, mood music, and rose petals — they can control that if they are the one who initiates.
Another perk that comes with being the initiator is you have more “control” over how the sex goes. The kind of foreplay you want, how fast or slow things go, how intercourse begins — all of this, you have more of a say so in if you’re the one who is initiating intimacy. Why? Well, think about when your bae initiates — doesn’t it seem like you tend to follow his lead more when he’s the one who is first to get the ball rolling?
Oftentimes, when a couple comes to me about being sexually dissatisfied, and I recommend that the one who doesn’t initiate takes more initiative, the one on the receiving end likes the fact that their partner is “running the show” — and the initiator likes “being in charge” more than they thought that they would. As a result, both end up experiencing far more pleasure.
The initiator shows what they want more of while the receiver feels desired in the process. A win/win for everyone.
What Initiating Sex Does for Him
sexy black and white GIFGiphyA couple of weeks ago, while in a session with a client, he was joking about how much he has “too much of a good thing” when it comes to his wife’s libido. Although science says that the fact that men have a higher amount of testosterone in their system, and it is the reason why they typically have a higher sex drive, don’t sleep on a lot of women out there who want to get it in more than their husband does. His wife is one of them. Since she’s a client of mine too (oftentimes, we do our sessions separately), it’s interesting that he’s fine with having sex a couple of times a month while she would like to a couple of times a week.
So, is he denying her when she wants it more often? Nope. The reason why they’re not having more sex is that even though her drive is higher, she still waits for him to initiate. Why? Because she thinks that’s what “the man should do”; not only that but “being wooed” turns her on more.
As I’ve been working on helping them to find a middle ground (because if marriage ain’t about compromise, I don’t know what is), he says that he feels like because he plans a lot of the dates, he wishes that she would initiate more: “I don’t think a lot of women get how hard it is to be a Black man out here. Nothing feels better than knowing that if no one else is thrilled by your presence, your woman is. For us, initiating isn’t just about sex. It’s about feeling wanted as a whole. And when we feel like our woman adores us, there is no greater turn-on.”
I’m not sure what y’all heard, but what it sounds like to me is when we, as women, initiate sex, men feel holistically special and cherished. That makes sense, too, because if we were to put our feet in their shoes, we would probably say the same thing. That’s just one more reason to pull the “gender roles” out of this topic; men and women both want to feel like they are the best thing on the planet by their sex partners. And again, initiating helps us all to feel that way.
What Initiating Ultimately Does for Your Relationship As a Whole
Issa Rae Love GIF by Insecure on HBOGiphyPersonally, I can only imagine how much better sex would be for everyone (who is in a sexual relationship) if people simply initiated copulation whenever they wanted to have it. That way, everyone would feel desired — and what could possibly be wrong with that? Especially if both individuals factored in some of the definitions for initiated that I already shared. Just think about if you rushed home tonight because you read about something that you want to introduce to your man or there’s a fantasy that you have that you want to admit.
The mere conversations alone will help to bring the two of you closer together because, after all, deep intimacy is about minds, bodies, and spirits getting as close as possible…right? And so, yes, by initiating sex, it can bring more closeness and stability to the relationship as a whole.
And what if you initiate and your partner isn’t interested at the time? Or what if you’re shy about initiating due to having a fear of rejection? That’s a fair and legitimate concern. One day, I’ll need to pen an article on how couples should handle situations like that with grace (on both ends) while applying the golden rule of “doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.” For now, I’ll just say that if this is your greatest point of concern, share that with your partner as well.
After all, it’s pretty unrealistic to expect them to always want it when you do (although it’s been my experience and observation that men are almost always far easier to convince…LOL); just know that not wanting sex at the exact moment that you do doesn’t mean that they don’t want you altogether. Besides, oftentimes, a nap or a night of sleep can rectify that issue. Trust me.
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Rihanna was actually once quoted as saying, “To me, sex is power. It’s empowering to do it because you want to do it.” I personally think that’s a great way to bring this to a close. Make your partner feel wonderful, empower yourself, and strengthen your relationship by initiating sex more often. I can’t think of one reason why it’s not a wise move. Can you?
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Featured image by Jacob Wackerhausen/Getty Images