Most of us learned in anatomy class that our skin is the biggest organ that we have. It's comprised of three layers — epidermis, dermis and hypodermis — and five million pores (20,000 just on our face alone!). Yep, our skin is pretty intricate and complex.
Unfortunately, until we get have a breakout, notice a little eczema, or we're trying to heal a scar somewhere, many of us aren't thinking about giving our skin any more attention than the soap we wash it with and the lotion (or coconut oil) that we apply to keep from looking ashy.
But I can personally vouch for the fact that setting aside 15-20 minutes each day to give your skin some TLC not only reduces blemishes and evens skin tone, it can also cause all sorts of random people to have a look of shock on their face when you tell them how old you are and they reply that they thought you were so much younger than that.
Things like lavender, Aloe Vera, Vitamin E are commonly-known remedies for treating skin. But if you're looking for oils, herbs, or vitamins that are great for daily skin maintenance and pampering, here are some lesser-known ones that are just as effective and can provide even more benefits to your face, neck, and body.
Frankincense Oil
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A lot of us only think of frankincense oil around the holiday season (you know, frankincense and myrrh?) but it's something that is beneficial all year long. The properties in this oil make it a natural astringent and toner that can reduce pores and tighten skin. Frankincense also promotes cell and tissue regeneration and, when used regularly (at least three times a week), it can reduce the appearance of wrinkles, acne blemishes, and any scars on the skin too.
Helichrysum Oil
Helichrysum is a member of the daisy flower family. It's known as a miraculous essential oil due to its anti-microbial, anti-biotic, and regenerative compounds. Applying this oil to your skin will not only promote healthy skin cell growth, but it will also deeply moisturize your skin too. Something else that's awesome about helichrysum oil is, it's so gentle that it's perfect for skin that is highly-sensitive. And, if you've got any skin discoloration anywhere, it will even out the appearance of your skin over time.
Neroli Oil
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Is your skin oily or highly acne-prone? Get yourself a bottle of neroli oil as soon as you possibly can! The antibacterial, anti-inflammatory and antiseptic properties that are found in this oil will balance out the natural sebum in your skin without drying it out in the process. Another cool thing about neroli oil is it's able to increase your skin's flexibility. Also, because it contains a significant amount of Vitamin C, neroli oil helps to elevate the production of collagen in your skin as well. That means it can make your skin look fuller and "plumper" in the very best way possible.
Horsetail
Horsetail is an herb that got its name because it looks a lot like a horse's tail. It's the kind that most of us don't hear about every day but should be in our skincare arsenal. That's because horsetail contains calcium, manganese, iron, flavonoids, tannins, and phenolic acids — all things that our skin desperately needs.
If you've got acne, try dipping some cotton balls into some horsetail tea; it will act like a toner for your skin as it pulls out toxins and reduces inflammation. If you want to tighten sagging skin, make your own horsetail paste by grinding some of the herbs with a plantain and water. Apply it to your freshly washed face, let it sit for 20 minutes and then thoroughly rinse with cool water.
Irish Moss
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Irish Moss has a great reputation for balancing out thyroid production and also lowering cholesterol levels. It's also a cold-water seaweed that contains plenty of sulfated polysaccharides. This is important as it relates to your skin because sulfated polysaccharides have a remarkable ability to soften your skin as well as your scalp. Irish Moss is also the kind of herb that heals skin rashes and eczema and because it's also high in iron, folate, copper, vitamin-C, and chlorophyll, making it a blood purifier that can help to prevent breakouts too.
You can make your own Irish Moss lotion by combining a teaspoon of a powdered form of the herb with one cup of distilled water, ¼ cup of Aloe Vera gel, and two tablespoons of sweet almond oil. Boil the herb in the water for 20 minutes until it turns into a jelly-like consistency. Then add the Aloe Vera and allow the mixture to completely cool. Put the gel and oil into a blender and mix until it turns into a white-looking lotion. Then apply.
Dandelion Root
Probably the most popular way to get the benefits of Dandelion Root is to drink it in tea form. It's an herb that regulates the secretion of hormones, opens up pores, and contains properties that fight all sorts of infections including warts and ringworm. That's why it's so good at healing acne cysts. The antioxidants in this herb also softens fine lines, lightens the appearance of dark circles underneath eyes, and evens out T-zone skin.
If you'd prefer not to drink Dandelion Root, put a couple of tea bags into a boiling pot of water, let the bags steep and then put your face over the water. You'll automatically have a nourishing and healing face steam.
Vitamin F
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If you're wondering what the heck Vitamin F is, it's better known as an omega-6 essential fatty acid. It's something our skin needs plenty of, although most of us are low in it. Vitamin F is really good for dry skin, thanks to the healthy fats that are in it. If you take it regularly enough, Vitamin F can cause your face and body to have a natural glow. Something else that's awesome about this vitamin is it provides a barrier to protect your skin from environmental damage. Plus, if you suffer from eczema or atopic dermatitis, it can help to relieve those too.
It really is best to take Vitamin F in supplement form (around 12 grams per day) but if you wondering what foods contain it, sunflower seeds, English walnuts, and salmon do.
Selenium
Selenium is a mineral that has a great reputation for being loaded with antioxidants; that alone makes it a must-have for your skin. Since it neutralizes free radicals, selenium can protect your skin from cell damage. Since it's also the kind of mineral that increases white blood cells in your body, it can also reduce inflammation in your skin while keeping skin infections at bay. Selenium is so effective that it is even something that can help to relieve dandruff too.
Even though selenium is really good for you, when it comes to this mineral, you can get too much of a good thing. So, make sure that you take no more than 55 mcg a day. If you'd prefer to eat foods with selenium in them, consume grain or grass-fed beef, brown rice, or Brazil nuts.
Copper
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Did you know that if you notice premature greying in your hair that it could be because you're not getting enough copper into your system? Copper is one of those minerals that constantly gets slept on yet provides all sorts of benefits. Skin-wise, it helps to maintain the collagen and elastin in your body; that makes copper one of the best anti-aging supplements around. Something else copper has the ability to do is repair DNA damage in your cells as it reverses inflammation, scars, and fine lines that you might notice on your face and neck.
Dosage-wise, it's best to take no more than 900 (mcg) a day along with a zinc supplement. As far as the foods that contain copper, you're gonna love reading this — almonds, oysters, sun-dried tomatoes, avocados, and (yes!) dark chocolate top the list. Every time you eat dark chocolate (that's 65 percent or more cocoa), you're loving on your skin, soooo…eat up, y'all!
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Well, the next time we met up, she told me she had met someone and was moving to Houston to live with him. Imagine my surprise and concern. Later, I’d find out that this decision, like so many other elements of their relationship, flowed naturally and organically. Their whole partnership has been full of peace and vulnerability.
Fast forward to today’s conversation, they’re still living together, celebrating four years of marriage, and planning to create a family. And while this stage of their story sounds generally normal, the way they got there is nothing but. Check out the "How We Met" feature below to see how a couple who never spoke on the phone and lived in different states ended up in a loving marriage full of ease, art, and authenticity.
Photo courtesy of Amanda Wicks and Will Ford
Walk me through your ‘How We Met’ story.
Amanda: We met on Instagram (laughs). He followed me first, and I followed back because he does art, and I was intrigued by that. Honestly, we followed each other for a while before we connected. But I remember one day I saw a post where he had on a Martin t-shirt that I liked, and that sparked our conversation. He ended up telling me he made the shirt and actually mailed me one. So when I got it, I made a post wearing it, and that’s where the conversation started. Since that day we’ve communicated every day since.
Will: Yeah, I initially saw her on a short-hair Instagram page and followed her because I thought she was attractive. I actually showed her to my co-workers on one of our monthly outings as an example of my “type” – something I had never done. But one thing I will say is, I noticed she had on a Nina Simone shirt in one of her photos, that’s what got me. It showed she had more depth.
I guess that answers my next question. Did you have an initial attraction to each other?
Will: (Laughs) Yeah, I did.
Amanda: For me, no. I just wasn’t looking at him through that lens. I didn’t follow him because he was attractive. I don’t follow people online because of that. I actually remember a time when we were going back and forth, and I was like, “Aye, you kinda cute.” It was a specific moment. Once I started looking through his page more often, I started to view him that way, but it still was more of an acknowledgment. We really connected primarily because of our creative interests.
So, how did it go to the next level?
Amanda: I was in Nashville, and he was in Houston. But I’m somebody where if I feel like doing something, I’m going to do it. I had been meaning to go to Houston for a while to see a friend, so I felt like it was the perfect combination of a circumstance. We had been talking a lot, and I knew I liked him as a person and really wanted to meet him, but of course, I was aware of the idea that it could blossom into more. I remember I sent him a text saying, “Would you think I was crazy if I pulled up to Houston?”
Photo courtesy of Amanda Wicks and Will Ford
What was your reply? Did you think she was crazy?
Will: In my mind, I was like, I don’t know. (Laughs) I wanted her to, though, so I wasn’t going to say yeah. It was a little wild, but I encouraged it.
Okay, so tell me about the date.
Amanda: I don’t know if you’d call it our first “date,” but the first time we met, we went to a skating rink. I was a little nervous about meeting him in person. Like, what if we don’t have chemistry – that was in the back of my head a little. But I brought my friend with me as a buffer, and thank God I did because he was so quiet the whole night. I literally can’t think of one thing he said the entire time. But the saving grace was that we had built a rapport. We reconnected the following night and were together until 5 a.m. – just sitting there talking. We ended up spending the whole weekend together.
Will: I’m socially awkward if I don’t know you. Also, before the date, I didn’t know what she sounded like or anything because, that’s another thing, we hadn’t talked on the phone. (They both really don’t like phone calls, so everything was through texts at this point.) I guess I could say I was kinda nervous, too. I had never met someone through social media, and then here I was, meeting her in person at a skating rink. I hadn’t skated in years, I was hoping I didn’t fall. But we had just been talking so much that I was open to it.
What made you want to take that risk?
Will: She has a level of authenticity that I’ve never seen in any other woman before, and once I saw her, it solidified that. I knew I wanted her around.
Amanda: I don’t think it was anything specific. It’s not hard for me to connect with people. But there were no red flags. We align across the board. That was different. We really connect on how we see the world.
"She has a level of authenticity that I’ve never seen in any other woman before, and once I saw her, it solidified that. I knew I wanted her around."
Photo courtesy of Amanda Wicks and Will Ford
Out of curiosity, what are your love languages?
Amanda: I connect with all of them. I think it just depends on what I’ve been lacking. I appreciate words of affirmation because I’m so big on actions that I like those bold statements of love, and of course, I appreciate quality time. The older I get, the more I appreciate physical touch, but that’s not something I need. With receiving gifts, I like thoughtfulness, and I like giving thoughtful gifts, too. But acts of service is for sure my biggest one. I love when someone considers me and makes my life easier. That speaks to me most.
"I love when someone considers me and makes my life easier. That speaks to me most."
Will: I think it all depends on how I’m feeling, too. But probably also acts of service. I like how Amanda will buy me deodorant when I run out (laughs). She just does so much all the time to show that I’m thought of.
At what point in your connection did y’all have the “what are we” conversation?
Will: I don’t think we ever had that convo. We never defined anything, we just kinda went with how it was going. However, I knew I wanted it to be more serious when I went to visit her. She had been coming to Houston once a month, and I went to Florida (she was there for work) to see her. I realized I felt comfortable coming into her space, too. That gave me that last little bit of whatever I needed.
Amanda: Yeah, I can’t say I had a defined moment like that. But again, as we had more and more interactions, there were just no red flags. The more we thought about it, the more we realized no matter where we went relationship-wise, we were adamant about being a part of each other’s lives. We never had the “talking to other people” conversation or anything. But we did both understand we weren’t going anywhere. Eventually, it graduated to convos around building a life together, but even that was over six months in. I just liked him as a person.
Have there been any negative revelations that your partnership and marriage have taught you about yourself?
Amanda: I’ve always felt that partnership is supposed to make the other person’s life easier. For me, it was a struggle to let someone help me in all the ways I didn’t really know I needed help. As I started having less capacity, I had to realize that it doesn't work anymore. It was hard for me to acknowledge and ask for help. I think that’s something I am still coming to terms with, even with other relationships in my life.
Will: I think I’m learning and still learning how to get out of my head. I’m the kind of person who always has to visualize stuff before it happens. And this relationship is the first thing that I don’t do that with. Of course, we plan stuff, but I know it’s gonna be good regardless. It allows me to stay in the moment. If I can do that with this, which is the most important thing to me, why can’t I do that with other things?
Photo courtesy of Amanda Wicks and Will Ford
What challenges have you faced together?
Will: For me, the preconceived challenge was living together. I’ve never lived with a woman before. Even in my previous relationship, it was long-distance. I’m also the type of person that likes my space, but as soon as she got here, that was out the window. It was so smooth it made me feel stupid for questioning it.
Amanda: I’m grateful to say we don’t necessarily have challenges between each other together. But we have been struggling with infertility and health issues. Our biggest challenge thus far is trying to get pregnant. Even articulating that makes me realize I’m grateful it hasn’t caused a rift between us. I think we have been able to face it in a healthy way. But that’s an example of how having someone else there can be helpful. I was so functional as a full-blown individual doing everything by myself.
So, in my head, I don’t need anyone, but having someone there who is happy to support me has taught me it’s okay to welcome that. It’s made us stronger because it’s taught us how we both function under duress – it’s good to know it’s not terrible (laughs).
"Our biggest challenge thus far is trying to get pregnant. Even articulating that makes me realize I’m grateful it hasn’t caused a rift between us. I think we have been able to face it in a healthy way."
What are some of the shared values that are important to your relationship?
Will: How we see life, what we’re here for, and how you’re supposed to treat people. It sounds really simple, but it’s not as common as you think.
Amanda: We value being really good people – without strings. We both don’t value money, but we value stability. So we don’t have to endure the “why are you not hustling” arguments. We were both stable people individually, and we came together. Also, we both value meaningful connections, alone time, reflection, and family. That guides us in what we do and how we build a life.
Finally, what is your favorite thing about each other?
Amanda: I’ll say one of my favorite things about him is that he’s brilliant. I view myself as a smart person, but in my head, he can do what I’m doing ten times faster. There are times I want to push myself to do stuff, and I’ll just ask him because I know he can do it. It’s incredible.
Will: My favorite thing about her is how people see her. Being a witness to how important she is to other people’s lives is amazing. Standing to the side and seeing how she affects them is really special.
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Feature image courtesy of Amanda Hicks and Will Ford
In a recent interview with Today, the 30-year-old TV personality dished on all the dating insight and lessons she’s picked up while hosting dating shows. Her trainer, Six, once imparted valuable relationship advice that emphasized the importance of not treating life and relationships as if they were a baseball game.
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"Somebody tells you something or (shares) how they’re feeling and you knock it back to them," she said. Instead, “we need to be playing football, where you throw the ball to someone and you say, ‘Hey, this is how you made me feel.’ And they receive it and they honor it because you’re on the same team."
In other words, seek to understand, not to prove a point. “Because a lot of times you can be right and you can stand on your soapbox, but it could be at the detriment of your relationship,” she adds.
The Relationsh*t podcast host also advises that the best way to combat the “revolving door” mindset in dating that makes it seem like there’s always something better on the other side is to be willing to make a good thing work because a few bumps here and there are normal.
“There’s a lot of energy out there right now of, ‘Well, if this one doesn’t do blah, blah, blah, then I’m just gonna go get a new one,'” she said. “Okay, you can do that. You’ll spend your whole life getting a new one, finding a new relationship, because you’re not willing to actually sit in something and work it through.”
While social media can be a space to meet new people whom one might not otherwise cross paths with, Kamie says that one of her biggest red flags is having a wandering eye on apps. Sometimes, a double-tap isn’t as innocent as it seems.
“I just think that that kind of behavior is so juvenile and ridiculous. I think you can like something with your eyes and not tap it with your hands,” she said.
Ladies, write that down.
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