Something that I enjoy about writing for women's platforms is it puts you in the position of discovering all kinds of things that you might not ever discover otherwise; even about yourself. Take vaginal mapping, for example. A quick show of hands (via letting us know in the comment section) if you're familiar with what that is. Shoot, bonus points if you've ever done any vaginal mapping before.
If you've heard of it and your guess is that vaginal mapping is masturbation—actually, it's not. If you're wondering if it's a vaginal self-exam—you're getting warmer but not exactly. However, if you give me roughly 5-7 minutes of your time, I'll share with you what vaginal mapping is all about and why it's such a beneficial thing for all of us to do, at least a couple of times every year.
Here’s the Vaginal Mapping Breakdown
Here's the interesting thing about vaginal mapping, right out the gate. While masturbation is about stimulating your genitalia for the sole purpose of sexual stimulation and vaginal self-exams are about checking out the external part of your vagina (your vulva), along with the opening of it and your anus, in order to see if there are any abnormalities (basically it's a breast exam for down below), vaginal mapping is more like a therapeutic massage for your vaginal area. Really, your entire pelvic region.
In fact, there are many health and sex experts who say that, by partaking in this particular act, it can actually help to bring forth a certain level of healing and release if you've experienced some past sexual trauma or if you've got some sort of anxiety as it relates to that particular part of your body.
As far as the technique itself, as you're actually massaging your vagina via deep breathing and light stroking, it's important to feel for areas that might feel numb, tense, or even somewhat painful. In a way, think of it as reflexology for your vaginal area. Vaginal mapping is all about caressing both the outside and inside of your vagina—again, not so you can climax but so you can feel more at ease and at peace with yourself.
Some of the proven benefits of vaginal mapping include:
- It can help to loosen up tight pelvic floor muscles that can sometimes make sex uncomfortable.
- It can help to break up any congestion or mild adhesions that could be binding up the connective tissue around your pelvic floor muscles.
- It can also help to speed up the healing process of a mild pelvic or vaginal injury (like one that may occur during sex).
- It can help to free up emotional tension, stress or pent-up energy that is oftentimes "trapped" within your pelvis.
- It can make you feel more comfortable with your body overall.
If any of these benefits have further piqued your curiosity and you're wondering how you can become a vaginal mapping master, I've got some tips for you that can help you to achieve your goal:
How to Do Vaginal Mapping for Yourself
Again, because vaginal mapping is all about massaging your vaginal area (in fact, some people actually call it a "yoni massage"), that's the mindset you need to be in while doing this particular exercise. Get quiet. Light some soy-scented candles. Get into an area of your home where you feel fully comfortable with totally disrobing. Try and avoid any distractions (like loud music or your television). For this to be effective, you've got to truly hone in and focus solely on your pelvic area. That said, here are the steps.
1. Get to know your pelvis.
Before even getting into the massage part, let's do a quickie anatomy class, focusing solely on your pelvic region. Where you typically put your hands on your hips, that is known as your ilium. The two bones at the front of your pelvis make up your pubic bone. The bones that you literally sit on are your sitz bones (the technical word is ischium). The triangular-shaped bone at the base of your spine is known as your sacrum. And, the base of your sacrum, where your tailbone is, is called your coccyx. All of this is relevant because knowing the different parts of your pelvis will make doing the next things a lot easier.
2. Lie down on your back with your knees bent and your legs open. Then begin massaging your stomach and inner thighs.
Before getting to your actual vagina, it's a good relaxation technique to first use an oil like coconut, grapeseed or olive (all of them are high in antioxidants and are non-irritating to the inside of your vagina) to gently rub your stomach (which will also play a role in vaginal mapping) as well as your inner thighs and the crevices that connect your legs to your vulva (the outer part of your vagina). Once you feel more relaxed, it's time for the next step.
3. Start vaginal mapping by inserting a lubricated index finger into your vagina.
With the hand that you use more (meaning if you're left-handed, use that hand or if you're right-handed, use that hand), put some oil on its index finger and then gently insert that finger into your vaginal opening. Then place your other hand on top of your stomach, so that you can feel what you're doing, both inside as well as out. Next, press the inner part of your finger towards your pubic bone; if you pay close enough attention, you might just feel your urethra. Be intentional about looking for signs of tension or discomfort. If so, see if gently massaging those areas helps. Spend a good 5-7 minutes in this area. Then, while breathing slowly and deeply, move your finger towards the back part of your pelvis where your sacrum is and repeat the same process.
Once you're done with that area, massage the internal part of the left side of your pubic bone, then the right, all the while keeping your other hand on your stomach because the added external pressure will make it easier for you to detect if there is any "tightness" within. Also, pay close attention to whether or not you can feel your muscles relax as you're massaging the inside of your vagina; if you are doing everything properly, you should. This entire practice should take between 30-60 minutes. Just remember not to rush. This is all about self-exploration, being gentle with your pelvic area, and mastering how to deep breathe and massage simultaneously.
4. Consider investing in a pelvic wand as a massaging tool.
When you're first starting out with vaginal mapping, your finger is honestly enough; you want to make sure you know what is comfortable for you when it comes to where you go and how deeply. But once you get used to doing this type of massage, something that you might want to invest in is a pelvic wand. It's an easier way to reach the deeper parts of your pelvic floor muscles so that if you have any tender areas that may be resulting in mild pelvic pain, they can be massaged easier and the tension can be released quicker. If you'd like to look more into this particular purchase, click here.
5. Journal about the vaginal mapping healing experience, if you wish.
Something that I've written about before is the benefits that come with sex journaling (check out "The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)"). While a lot of it consists of writing down thoughts, memories, patterns, and even sexual desires, if you want to reserve a section for vaginal mapping, that certainly wouldn't hurt; especially the first couple of times that you do this kind of massaging. Write down how the exercise made you feel, the areas where you may notice are more tender, numb or firm than others and if any particular memories came to mind while you did it. Again, a big benefit that comes with vaginal mapping is it helps you to release any emotional stress or trauma that you might've been carrying in your pelvic area that you didn't even think about.
Then you're done. While the first time that you vaginal map, "awkward" might be the best way to describe how it felt to do it, again, if you make it a part of your self-care routine (even if it's only seasonally or bi-annually), you'll start to feel more comfortable with doing it because it will calm you, help you to know your vaginal area so much better and, if you journal through it, it can provide you with some epiphanies about your self-esteem, sexuality and emotional processing when it comes to both.
I know this isn't something that comes up often, but it is a hidden gem that is well worth considering. After all, the best maps lead to the most profound treasures, right? My sentiments exactly.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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It’s officially Miss Keri, Baby season again—and if you ask us, it’s been a long time coming. After 15 years away from the music scene, Keri Hilson has returned not only with a brand-new album, but also a captivating new role in Lifetime’s Fame—the latest installment in The Temptations film franchise.
Between the album We Need to Talk: Love and her leading role in Fame, this isn’t just a comeback—it’s a rebirth. The Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter turned actress is letting us into her world like never before, unpacking themes of vulnerability, healing, and inner strength with grace, grit, and raw artistry.
Now streaming on Lifetime, Fame follows two superstar sisters—played by Keri and singer/actress Keshia Chanté—as they navigate the cost of stardom, sibling rivalry, and the dark side of desire. The film also stars Romeo Miller, Ecstasia Sanders, Nathan Witte, and Sophie Carriere, and is executive produced by Derrick Williams and Adriane Hopper Williams of the Seven Deadly Sins franchise.
As for the music? We Need to Talk: Love is a three-part album (Love, Drama, Redemption) that tells the story of a woman who’s been through it—and has risen from the ashes. “It was time to speak for myself,” Keri says.
We sat down with Keri to talk about her return to music, her passion for acting, the emotional depth of Fame, and how she’s learning to care for herself amidst the chaos.
From R&B Queen to Drama Star: Keri Gets Into Character
“Even though she’s famous—as am I—it was really her humanity that I wanted to portray.”
Keri plays Cherish, one half of a superstar sibling duo who must confront their fractured relationship in the wake of a traumatic robbery. For Keri, the role was more than a character—it was a psychological study.
“I enjoy departures from reality. That’s why I love acting,” she shares. “Psychology is one of my favorite things in life. I became a writer because I’m an observer of human nature, emotion, and behavior. I think I did a good job showing her humanity.”
The Fame Isn’t Always Worth the Price
“Keep the main thing the main thing.”
Keri doesn’t sugarcoat the industry. When asked about what Fame reveals about the dark side of celebrity culture, her answer is clear:
“It’s a cautionary tale. It reminds you to keep your family close and not allow anything to come between them—especially in pursuit of success. Keep the main thing the main thing. For me, that’s family, love, spirituality, and values.”
Three Chapters, One Story: Love. Drama. Redemption.
“I’ve shed the fear. It was time to tell my own story.”
Released April 18th, We Need to Talk: Love is Keri’s first album in 15 years—and a deeply personal one at that. The three-part project (Love, Drama, Redemption) represents a timeline of healing and growth.
“I’m finally in a place where I’m able and willing to open up more,” she says. “For a while, I became really guarded—shell-shocked, even—after making mistakes in the public eye. Whether it’s all your fault or not, the scrutiny takes its toll. But now, I’ve shed that fear. It’s time to tell my story.”
Cooking, Walks, and Recalibrating in the Chaos
“I’m not doing the best job—but I’m doing what I can.”
Between eight-hour rehearsals, press runs, and music releases, Hilson admits she hasn’t quite figured out the balance yet—but she’s trying. For her, the key is carving out small rituals of normalcy.
“I enjoy cooking. That’s my sanctity,” she says. “I’ll go home, take my makeup off, put on my rehearsal clothes, and cook a meal. I take walks. I run. These little things help me feel like myself again.”
Art Imitates Life (and Album Tracklists)
“Cherish goes from Love… to Drama… to Redemption.”
Asked which album chapter her Fame character would fall into, Keri doesn’t hesitate. “She fits into all three,” she says. “You see her go from love, to drama, to redemption. That arc mirrors the journey of so many women who’ve had to navigate pain and find their way back to themselves.”
No Pressure, Just Art: Keri Wants You to Feel Something
“Just enjoy the art. That’s it.”
After all the time, patience, and healing, Keri isn’t asking for much. She just wants fans to press play—and feel something.
“I just want people to enjoy what they’re seeing and hearing. Enjoy me on screen. Enjoy me through their ears. People have waited, and I feel blessed by that. That helps me keep it all pure and simple.”
As Keri Hilson steps boldly back into the spotlight, it’s clear this era is all about alignment, artistry, and authenticity. With Fame airing on Lifetime and the first chapter of We Need to Talk: Love setting the tone, we’re more than excited to see what’s next.
As she continues to unfold the album’s next two chapters—Drama and Redemption—one thing’s for sure: this isn’t just a comeback. It’s a reintroduction. And we’ll be watching, listening, and cheering her on every step of the way.
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