Solo, But Never Alone: How Solo Travel Empowers Women To Rediscover Themselves
I wear many hats: mom, daughter, older sister, mentor, friend, and founder of HERide, Atlanta’s #1 female-friendly rideshare company. But above all these roles, I am a Black woman navigating life with resilience and grace.
Embracing Self-Love After Heartbreak
Let’s be honest: breakups suck, and no matter how long ago you went through one, the lingering effects can sometimes last for what feels like a lifetime. Embracing self-love after a breakup is a crucial step toward healing, and solo travel can be a powerful catalyst for this journey.
At one point, I thought being in love meant adapting to my partner's needs, but in the process, I shrunk myself until I was no longer recognizable.
Traveling alone gave me the space and freedom to rediscover who I am outside of a relationship. It allowed me to appreciate my own company, fall in love with myself all over again, and rewrite my story on my terms.
Through solo adventures, I found strength, joy, and a renewed sense of self-worth that prepared me to re-enter the dating world with confidence and a deep appreciation for my own happiness.
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The Transformative Power of Solo Travel
I recently returned from my first major solo travel adventure, celebrating my 30th birthday in Asia. Over the course of two weeks, I explored Bali, Thailand, and Seoul, Korea. This trip was more than just a vacation; it was a celebration of my growth, independence, and resilience.
Solo travel has taught me numerous valuable lessons. It has pushed me out of my comfort zone, allowing me to discover new cultures, meet incredible people, and, most importantly, reconnect with myself.
Each destination presented unique challenges and joys, from navigating language barriers in Thailand to experiencing the serene beauty of Bali's rice terraces. These experiences have deepened my appreciation for the world and my place within it.
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Traveling alone as a Black woman can sometimes feel daunting, but it has also been empowering. It has reminded me of my strength and capability. In moments of solitude, I have found clarity and peace, far from the hustle and bustle of daily life.
This freedom has been instrumental in my journey toward self-discoveryand personal growth. Here are a few ways solo travel has been transformative for me and why I believe it can be for you too:
- Rediscovering Yourself: Traveling alone allows you to step away from your daily routine and the roles you play in other people's lives. It's a chance to listen to your own thoughts and desires without external influences. This space can lead to profound self-discovery and personal growth.
- Building Confidence: Navigating new countries, cultures, and languages on your own can significantly boost your confidence. Each challenge you overcome is a testament to your strength and resilience.
- Making Uncompromised Choices: When you travel solo, you make all the decisions. You don't have to cater to anyone else's preferences or schedules. This autonomy can be incredibly liberating and empowering.
- Meeting New People: Solo travel often opens doors to meeting new people. Without the safety net of a travel companion, you're more likely to strike up conversations with locals and fellow travelers, leading to enriching interactions and friendships.
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Breaking Free from Hustle Culture
In today’s society, there is a pervasive culture of hustle and constant productivity. We are often made to feel that our worth is tied to how busy we are and how much we achieve. However, this mindset can be detrimental to our mental health and overall well-being. It’s important to remember that rest and self-care are just as valuable as hard work.
Solo travel is a powerful antidote to hustle culture. It allows us to step back from our daily routines, disconnect from work, and focus on our personal growth. Traveling alone gives us the space to recharge, reflect, and realign our priorities. It reminds us that life is not just about work and achievements but also about joy, adventure, and self-discovery.
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Practical Tips for Solo Female Travelers
To make the most of your solo travel experience, here are some practical tips:
- Plan Ahead: Research your destination thoroughly. Know the safest neighborhoods, the local customs, and any potential risks. Having a solid plan can alleviate a lot of anxiety.
- Stay Connected: Keep in touch with family or friends back home. Share your itinerary and check in regularly. This not only keeps you safe but also provides peace of mind to your loved ones.
- Trust Your Instincts: If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut. Whether it’s avoiding certain areas or turning down offers that seem too good to be true, your intuition is a powerful tool.
- Pack Light: Traveling light can make your journey more comfortable and less stressful. It also makes it easier to move around and stay mobile.
- Embrace Technology: Use travel apps to navigate, book accommodations, and find local attractions. Technology can be a great ally in ensuring a smooth travel experience.
- Stay Aware: Be mindful of your surroundings. Avoid distractions like excessive phone use in public places, and always stay alert.
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Conclusion: Take the Leap
As I reflect on my journey, I am reminded of the importance of taking the leap. Solo travel has taught me that the world is full of possibilities and that the most important journey is the one we take within ourselves. Whether you are seeking adventure, self-discovery, or simply a break from the routine, solo travel can be a powerful catalyst for change.
So, to all my sisters out there: take the leap. Embrace the unknown. Rediscover yourself one solo journey at a time. Travel safely, travel confidently, and never forget that you are enough.
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RELATED
'Love Island USA' Star JaNa Craig On The Reality Of Black Women On Dating Shows
Love Island USA just wrapped up its sixth season, and it has been the talk of the town. According to Nielsen, it's the No. 1 show on streaming, proving it's just as entertaining as the UK version. One of the reasons this season has been successful is due to the authentic relationships formed between the islanders in the villa.
You have the sisterhood between Serena Page, JaNa Craig, and Leah Kateb, aka PPG, and the real relationship moments between couples like Serena Page and Kordell Beckham, who were named the winners of this season. The other finalists include Leah Kateb and Miguel Harichi, Nicole Jacky and Kendall Washington, and JaNa Craig and Kenny Rodriguez.
While JaNa made it to the finale with her boo Kenny, her journey in the villa was far from perfect. Viewers saw the Las Vegas native get her heart stomped on a few times after many of her connections didn't work out.
At one point, it even looked like she was getting kicked off the island. While she had a lot of support from people watching the show, it was clear that she was in a position that many Black women on reality dating shows find themselves in: not being desired.
It has been an ongoing conversation among Black women watching reality dating shows as we see time and time again that non-Black women or racially ambiguous-looking women are often chosen over Black women, especially dark-skinned women. In a discussion with Shadow and Act, JaNa opened up about the support she received from viewers.
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"You know what’s so crazy? I’m so grateful, because when I got my phone, the way they’re making us The Princess and The Frog…I felt honored. I will be that beautiful chocolate queen if I need to be. And the comments like 'beautiful chocolate girl,' I’m like, all Black women are beautiful. There’s the whole light skin versus dark skin, which breaks my heart. I just really don’t understand that, but I will take pride and represent us well," she said.
She also candidly discussed her experience as a dark-skinned Black woman on the show. JaNa and Serena had been in the villa since the first episode, and they were the only dark-skinned Black women there. As new men aka bombshells came into the villa, they found themselves not being wanted by many of them.
"Me and Serena literally had a heart-to-heart before Kenny came in and she’s like, I just don’t think it’s fair that the Black girls don’t get enough fair chance.' Every islander that came in, we were not their top pick. And we just [thought], maybe because we’re Black girls, and the dark-skinned Black girls. It sucked," she said.
"I’m like, 'Serena, we know what we bring to the table. We’re great personalities. A guy’s going to come in for us.' That’s when we manifested what we wanted, and that’s when I manifested Kenny."
@ashleyvera__ We love to see it 🥰 #loveislandusa #loveisland #loveisland2024 #janaandkenny #loveislandseason6 #peacock #realitytv #fypage
After many failed connections, Kenny came in and immediately turned JaNa's experience around. America watched the model get the care and attention that she deserved.
"I’m not going to hold you. When I was in the bottom for a quick second, I’m like, ‘There’s no way America doesn’t [ride for us]. I know Black America had to ride for me, but maybe because I’m a dark-skinned … hmm … maybe … you feel me? And you saw the Casa Amor lineup. Beautiful, beautiful light-skinned [women]," she said.
"We looked at each other like, 'Damn, Love Island did their big one with this. And every single Casa Amor girl was like, 'You girls are gorgeous, you guys are stunning.' They expressed love. You guys are beautiful and it felt good."
Although she and Kenny came in third place, JaNa is happy that she got her man in the end. "I think the thing I’m most grateful about is the fact that this is a beautiful love story like you guys complement each other and there’s no hate toward the skin color. It’s all love and support. I love that more than anything," she said.
"That’s why I was like, 'I won,' even though I didn’t win. And the fact that Serena won, we were like, 'Yeah, run that.' Either way, we won. And I love the support from all communities."
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According to Mrs. Savannah James, she would like to be addressed as “wife” — other monikers simply won’t do.
In a recent episode of the Everybody’s Crazy podcast, James and co-host April McDaniel received a call from a listener caught in a love triangle between a man she was dating while entertaining a “sneaky link.”
The hosts went on to advise the call-in guest to pursue singleness as she sorts out her needs, which led to a discussion what the meanings of "sneaky link" and a "side chick," a topic their producer eventually clarified for them.
“A sneaky link is somebody that you know you sneaking with,” their producer decoded. “But your side chick, the majority of the time, your main girl knows about the side chick.”
Agasted by the definition, McDaniel went on to share her stance on ambiguous relationship statuses. “I don't even want to be the main chick,” she stated.
“I need to be the wife these days. I don't want to be the ‘wifey.’ I don't want to be nothing. I want to be the wife.”
James went on to express her strong dislike for the term "wifey," sharing that she didn’t want to be called a wife until she officially became one by her now husband, NBA star, LeBron James. “When I tell you I hate, loathe ‘wifey’ with my whole entire soul,” said James. “I'm sorry, don't call me your wife and I'm not.”
“I had to politely tell my husband back in the day,” she explained. “He used to introduce me, ‘This is my wife.’ I had to pull him to the side like, ‘Excuse me, sir, don't introduce me as that, please. I am not your wife, and I deserve that title when the time is right.’”
She continued, “I don't want you to start to think that it's okay for you to say this and then, you know, means don’t have to go the next step.”
As we age and new terms become popularized, it’s common to not fully know what titles and terms work best for the relationship and dynamic one might navigate. In McDaniel’s case, finding the right titles to introduce the new men who come into her life can be tricky.
“But that has been interesting, recently, when introducing certain individuals, at my age,” she explains. “‘Boyfriend’ sounds crazy, ‘my man’… mhmm… ‘my partner’ sounds like I’m a lesbian.” Conquous to what the best intro would be at the “big, grown stage,” James offered “tiers.”
“I feel like it's tiers,” James said. “You have to start at the bottom and then come up.”
“One of these days we have to go live so we can ask people live like, what is the titles? Because I'm very intrigued by knowing what are the titles people go by and what feels ‘premium.’ Because I want the premium title,” McDaniel concluded.
While every relationship is different, placing the proper titles on who you're dating and where you see it going is key to formulating a bond that’s both secure and amicable. After all, it’s not what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
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Featured image by Araya Doheny/Getty Images for Baby2Baby