Am I Outgrowing My Job? Signs It May Be Time To Move On Before It’s Too Late
Landing a dream or high-paying job can be a huge, humbling, and celebratory moment. I vividly remember the feeling of excitement I had getting my first high-paying job. In the course of a year, I was able to get my first apartment, pay off some card debt, and do a little shopping. I reveled in all I was able to do outside of work, and enjoyed the new things I was learning in the office too. But my second year into the job, I realized I may not be as into my role as I thought. The thought slowly gnawed at my mind, and as time progressed, I became agitated at the direction my job was heading. My silent frustration grew loud, and when it did, all I wanted to do was hit the exit for any job that would hire me quick.
A Gallup Poll reported that 70% of employees in the US are disengaged at work. Often, we stay at a job too long out of company loyalty, financial stability and comfortability. By the time we realize we no longer want to be there, we're miserable, frustrated with how we're spending our days and scrambling for any way to get out. While other surveys show that frequent job hopping can be a big obstacle for unemployed candidates looking for work, staying too long at the job also show a lack of interest in career growth. Yes, there's something so comforting about waking up to a stable job, income, hearty benefits and of course, a direct deposit. But could it be time for you to move on from your job?
Quitting Your Job: Signs It's Time To Move On
You No Longer Feel Your Work Is Growing In The Direction Of The Company
Companies go through transitions all the time, but do you really see yourself heading in the direction your company is? Do your career goals align with what they're trying to do, or do new tasks stray further from what you believe your true purpose is? If you are mindful of where your personal life mission stands, your employers can help you assess if there's a future in your current job or not.
Seeing Cyclic Business Practice Nuances
Last year, your company was in a crisis mode over an operational issue. It's a new year, and your company is in crisis mode again over the same or a similar situation. There was never a procedure or plan put in place the first go-around, and now you're at square one of how to put out the fire. Take heed to these flags that point at what may be standard business malfunctions. While it may have seemed like a one time incident, it may just be the company's culture of handling (or not handling) issues. Try suggesting new, long-lasting ways to handle crises. If it seems like no one's interested in implementing a resolution, then it may be time to accept the work culture for what it is and move on.
You Find Yourself Struggling To Get To Work On Time
Are you dragging yourself out of bed every morning feeling unmotivated to go to work? When you arrive at work, are your thoughts more negative than positive? If every morning feels like "just another day" and you're counting down to the weekend, it's clear that you're just not interested - and honestly that you might've stopped caring about your job altogether. Before you land in trouble over tardiness or unexcused sick days, actively take steps towards planning your next job move to give yourself something to look forward to each day.
There Is Little To No Chance Of Growth
Sometimes you can finagle creating your dream role or at least sneak in a few tasks you enjoy doing. And sometimes, you just can't. If promotions are slim at your job and your job duties are pretty mundane, it's not going to change unless executive staff does. And if executive staff doesn't plan on leaving for another 10 years, well, you know the rest.
You’re No Longer Interested In Hanging Out With Co-workers After Work
You used to love meeting people at work mixers and happy hour events. Now, you don't care to see or talk to anyone new. You have one coworker who you complain with about everything that's wrong at work. Save the both of you that negative energy, and instead focus on how to get back in the game of job hunting.
If any of these sound like you, then it's definitely time for you to begin taking steps towards the next steps in your career!
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These 3 Women Boldly Quit Their Jobs & Changed Careers
Your First Job Won't Be Your Dream Job
4 Job Hunting Tips From A Serial Job Hopper
Tired of Indeed? Here Are 5 Other Places To Find Jobs Online
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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