I fell in love with writing many years ago and actually majored in Communications in undergrad with hopes of one day working in journalism. Unfortunately, it was my fear of failure that persuaded me into pursuing a different career. Since graduating from undergrad, I have always loved my career in management, but a part of me still longed for picking up a pen and letting my thoughts flow (while of course collecting coins - hey, a girl's got bills to pay).
Now fast-forward to almost five years out of undergrad, I have recently started a side gig in digital media. Prior to refocusing on my career in journalism, another dose of self-doubt came over me after I realized how over-saturated the blogging world was. No matter where you go or where you look, you will find a blogger. Because of that reason, it became discouraging to start seriously blogging and pursuing my dream. This is why I had to sit down and chat with Alexis Bennett, journalism pro with a background in freelance writing and editing. Alexis has done amazing work with Vibe Vixen, Essence, InStyle, Real Simple, and now SELF magazine. From starting her career from the bottom with unpaid internships to now having an editorial career with a mainstream, international medium, Alexis’ plight to perseverance and confidence is something that anyone can learn from that is trying to find their self and prosper in the journey to success.
During our chat, I was able to personally learn so much from Alexis in regards to networking as a freelancer, being motivated, and how to know when to charge for freelance work (and what to charge).
Here are my 8 takeaways from our chat:
You have to be fearless and persistent
I am a Southern girl from South Florida and went to college at Florida State University. After undergrad, I had dreams of moving to New York to work as a writer in the fashion industry. I didn’t have a job waiting for me in New York and the cost of living is outrageous, so I knew that the only way I could move without a job was to go back to school. So I went ahead and got my MBA at LIM college in Fashion Management and from that point on, I interned as much as possible to get my foot in the door. Interning and networking was important to me because I didn’t know anyone at all when I moved to New York so I really had to start from scratch. It was honestly tough because although I already had a Bachelor's degree under my belt, I felt like I should be able to get a job easily, but it did not work out like that. So between my internships and networking like crazy, I made the decision that no matter what I was going to do what was needed to work for a fashion magazine. I stuck with that decision and didn’t give up - no matter how hard it got or far my dream seemed.
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Sometimes you have to work jobs that you don’t want to get the career you want
Even after receiving my MBA, the fashion editorial jobs were not coming my way like I imagined. So what did I do? I did what I needed to do and took internships. Of course I would have rather had a full-time job, but if it was unpaid internships that I could get, that’s what I did. No, it wasn’t easy, but I feel like I made the right decision. I feel like at the end of the day if you know exactly what you want and an opportunity comes your way that aligns with that end goal, you should do it, no matter what it pays or if it is an internship. Because in the long run it will pay off. It may not pay off financially in the beginning, but you will gain experience and knowledge. Before now, I interned with Vibe Vixen and I worked for free. I pretty much worked wherever I could get a job. I worked at Bed Bath and Beyond folding towels (yes, even with a MBA, but I wasn’t bitter about it because I knew that the job was temporary and I knew I would get the opportunity that I’ve always dreamed of - it was only just a matter of time. So I worked at Bed Bath and Beyond, I worked at Barney’s as a Sales Associate, and then I landed a full-time position at Real Simple magazine as a fashion assistant. While I was interning for free, I was also doing little jobs to pay for my rent and other things. You have to always remember, no job is beneath you.
Know your worth as a freelancer
As a freelancer, you have to know when to charge, when not to charge, and what to charge at times. It’s really important to know your value and find opportunities that align with what you desire in the long run. After receiving my first paid gig as a freelancer, I used that as a starting point and did research to see how much freelancers normally get paid in my field. Also, when you look on certain freelance job sites, some companies will note how much they pay, so that is also another good resource to get an idea of how much you should charge for an article. After I started getting paid for freelance work, I realized that there were so many publications that paid, and I also started to realize my worth. Once I realized my worth, I communicated that when taking freelance jobs. Too often, I think that people don’t voice their value - they are afraid to negotiate. Fear of negotiating and not realizing your worth will keep you from receiving the most out of opportunities.
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Stay in touch with people, even when they don’t hire you for the job
Before I worked at InStyle full-time, I applied for an internship there but didn’t get it. Even though I didn’t get the opportunity when I first applied, I stayed in contact with the person that interviewed me and some of the employees there. During my internship interview with InStyle, there was a moment during the interview where the interviewer took me around the office and introduced me to several people. Immediately, I remembered their names and decided upon myself that I would reach out to them. Even though I didn’t have an email, address, or phone number, i found a way to connect with them. If you didn’t know it is so easy to figure out a professional’s email address. Most of the time, businesses have the same email structure - first name.last name and then “@” the business name. I simply just tried different combinations of each person’s name until I figured out their email address. When I emailed them, I didn’t send them anything creepy, I was polite and sent something like, “Hey it was so nice to meet yesterday in the office and I would love to stay in contact.”
To be totally honest, everybody that I emailed didn’t respond, but there was one person that did. I took the opportunity to stay in contact and build a relationship with her. After she responded to me, I scheduled a call with this person a week later and we talked and she gave me really good advice. About two years later, she reached out to me to see if I knew of anyone that would be interested in working with InStyle. At that moment, I reminded her that I was still interested in working with them and landed the job. I fully believe that this opportunity wouldn’t have come into existence if it wasn’t for me staying persistent by following up, sending random emails, and really just staying in contact.
I think that’s really important because often when people interview for jobs and don’t get them, they don’t send anything back. By sending messages back, even if that is just thanking them again for the opportunity to interview, you will be remembered by the hiring manager. Even more so, by staying in contact with them, it is more likely that they will remember you when they are hiring again. For example, I have done this to various people by sending them emails of how I saw their work in XYZ magazine, or I would casually email some writers and say things like, “Hey, I saw you on the Today show, talking about XYZ,” - literally just sending random emails and staying on their radar.
If you don't have a degree - networking and ambition can take your far
Even though almost every job in most industry says you have to have a bachelor’s degree, I don’t think it is 100% crucial. I really think that in most industries (especially the writing industry) it is more about who you know. 90% of the opportunities that I’ve had occurred because of the relationships that I have built. If you don’t have a degree and want to be a writer - don’t be discouraged or think it will break your chances of being successful. Just network, be fearless, and believe in yourself. I honestly feel like that is more valuable.
Do not sleep on LinkedIn
I recently just got a new job working at SELF magazine and I will be the new Assistant Style and Beauty Editor. The way that I got this new opportunity is an amazing story on its own. I was really happy at InStyle magazine and wasn’t looking for a new job. SELF magazine actually reached out to me on LinkedIn and that’s how I secured this new position. I think this shows the importance of having an updated and active LinkedIn account and a presence online that accurately reflects your work.
Take some time out of each day to focus on yourself
I love quotes and right now the background at my desk is “raise the bar higher.” Whenever I do something, I am always trying to outdo myself. Not necessarily looking at other people and what they are doing, but focusing more on myself. I always try to push myself further.
I also love to meditate and be centered with myself. At the end of the day, you have to learn how to listen to your own intuition and be able to make the best decisions for yourself. Motivators like mentors are great, but no one knows you better than you. If you are not in tune with yourself, your vision can be clouded by the influence of others.
I am currently reading the The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and the section today discussed how important it is to plan ahead. When you plan ahead and can foresee that you will have a busy day, that is when you should already make time to spend the most time for you in the morning. You should at least try to spend one hour to yourself. Those days that you feel the busiest is when you need more time for yourself, to refocus on you.
The universe will give you signs -- pay attention
My favorite book of all time is The Alchemist. I read this book right after I moved to New York and I really connected with the main character. Similar to the main character, I was on my journey of finding myself and my treasure and I had to figure my way out through it all. Just like the book said, there are so many different things in life that unconsciously speak to us. Unfortunately sometimes when we don’t pay attention to the signs of the universe, life knocks us upside our head to get our attention.
Just as Alexis says, we have to remember to stay centered and focused in our careers - especially as entrepreneurs and freelancers when times get tough. Also, even when we apply for opportunities and are rejected, remember that there is power in following-up and networking - Alexis is a perfect example of the outcome of it.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.
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In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”
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With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”
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For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
Featured image courtesy