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Trying To Stunt For The Gram Almost Cost Me $1,000
Last night, I had an epiphany that saved me $1,000.
This year, my husband and I decided to do a few updates to our house, including a closet remodel and new flooring. Needless to say, it's been a pretty expensive first quarter but I still had every intention to keep spending money on new furniture and anything else I wanted.
The closet I remodeled is in a spare bedroom that I turned into closet room/home office/beauty room also known as my "girl cave." Yeah, I know I'm doing the most, but stay with me here. Up until yesterday, this girl cave was about to be a room full of cute new stuff and once I got it all decorated, I was going to stunt on Instagram. I'm talking photoshoots in front of my new closet, desk, and all that!
But last night, as I started moving my old furniture around the room in anticipation for the hotness that would soon come, I realized that it wasn't old at all. I simply wanted new stuff because my new closet is white but my existing furniture is black.
I thought that I needed to make the room an Instagram-photo-worthy space and that everything needed to match this ideal in my mind.
But why though?
When I asked myself this question, I was shocked at much of a conspicuous consumer I am.
I tricked myself into believing I needed this dream room to inspire me to work hard and create epic stuff when in all actuality, I rarely even use the computer in that room. Most of the time, I use my laptop in bed and that's where I get the most work done. And let's not even mention the new desk I was going to buy to use as my makeup vanity when I wear makeup once a week because I'm allergic to waking up early.
I had to check myself real quick.
I was about to purchase this new furniture when I hadn't really used what I already owned. Yes, most of it is inexpensive and from IKEA. I called myself wanting to get some "quality pieces" but knowing me, I'll probably want to refresh the design in that room two years from now anyway.
So I decided that the $1,000 I was going to spend on new furniture will now be a payment to my principal student loan balance.
I'm not sharing this story to tell others not to treat themselves to the things they want, but to encourage them to appreciate what they already have.
I was absolutely inspired when I read about how Necole turned her bedroom into a zen oasis and I definitely plan to update my bedding and take some of the tips she gave but I don't need to break the bank to create a similar impact.
I know so many people may identify with the "I work hard so I can treat myself" ministry but it's possible to treat yourself to too much, especially if you're not debt free. Even if you are, the extra money you spend can go towards your retirement fund or in an investment account. The advice I gave myself last night was simple:
"Just because you can pay for something doesn't mean you can afford it."
There's so much I could be doing with my money and creating Instagram content shouldn't be on the list. Not only do I plan to make the furniture I have work for me, but I plan to adopt this way of thinking in other aspects of my life. For example, I don't need a new outfit for every outing. Instead, I'm going to get creative with the pieces I already own.
Maybe in the near future, I'll buy a new rug or small décor items for the room but for now I plan to prove to myself that I can use the space for what's intended for. And only when the work I do from the room generates income, may I choose to invest in some quality pieces.
Or maybe I'll continue rocking it out with my good ol' $30 IKEA desk. Who knows?
xoNecole is always looking for new voices and empowering stories to add to our platform. If you have an interesting story or personal essay that you'd love to share, we'd love to hear from you. Contact us at submissons@xonecole.com.
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Alexandria Bland is a Houston based writer and communications professional. The author of What Teaching Taught Me blogs about whatever's on her mind on WhatAlexWrites.com. You can stay in touch with her on Instagram @WhatAlexSees and Twitter @WhatAlexWrites.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Summer Travel Guide: 9 Safest Vacation Spots For Black Women
When it comes to planning and choosing our international travels, there’s one question that is bound to come up: “Is it safe for Black women?”
At times, our travel plans can be halted by whether or not our desired destination is safe not only for solo travel but for overall protection as women of color. We want to have fun, go on excursions, taste the food, and let our hair down, so the last thing we need on our minds is navigating microaggressions and worrying about our safety.
According to a report by The Mandala Research Firm, 17% of Black Americans take one or more international trips and travel locally more than six times per year. Even more exciting, 42% of Black Americans said they would spend more in 2020 on travel than in 2019 (pre-Covid), and 50% of Black adults (16% more than the general population) are more likely to travel to locations associated with their ethnic or cultural heritage. All of this goes to show that we’re not afraid to pack our bags and book flights to our heart's desire.
Our passion for travel and exploration highlights a growing desire to connect with a wide range of cultures while discovering new fresh locales. By choosing destinations with positive reputations for safety and belonging, you can enjoy your next adventure with peace of mind. And to help, we’ve provided a list of the best vacation spots to add to our travel bucket list.
1.Havana, Cuba
Known for its vibrant culture and welcoming locals, Havana offers a unique travel experience for you and your girlfriends. Stroll through the historic streets of Old Havana and immerse yourself in the lively music and dance scenes that make this city unforgettable.
2.Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Famous for its Carnival, stunning beaches, and warm hospitality, Rio de Janeiro is a lively and safe city to explore all year long. Don't miss a visit to the iconic Christ the Redeemer statue and the bustling Copacabana Beach for a true taste of Rio's energetic spirit.
3.Belize
With its beautiful beaches, diverse wildlife, and laid-back Caribbean vibe, Belize is a safe and adventurous destination for travelers. Discover the underwater wonders of the Belize Barrier Reef and explore ancient Lamanai Maya Ruins.
4.Paris, France
Who doesn’t have Paris, the city of lights, on their travel list? Renowned for its art, fashion, and iconic landmarks like the Eiffel Tower, Paris offers a blend of romance and safety for travelers. Wander through the charming neighborhoods of Montmartre and Le Marais, explore the Louvre, and indulge in the city's exquisite culinary delights.
5.Lisbon, Portugal
Portugal's capital city, Lisbon, charms visitors with its historic architecture, delicious cuisine, and welcoming atmosphere. Enjoy breathtaking views from São Jorge Castle and savor traditional pastries at the famous Pastéis de Belém bakery.
6.Bali, Indonesia
We’ve all seen the viral photos off the Bali coast and Gates of Heaven, so why not make it a reality? Famous for its lush landscapes, vibrant culture, and serene temples, Bali offers a safe and enriching travel experience in Southeast Asia.
7.Tokyo, Japan
Recently, the value of the Japanese Yen has seen a significant drop, making it the lowest it has been against the dollar since 1986, which also means that there’s no better time than now to make your travel plans to the renowned cultural hub.
8.Accra, Ghana
There’s no FOMO like the kind felt from seeing all the beautiful faces enjoying their holiday at Ghana’s Afrochella Festival, so let this be your sign to start planning the trip now. Often referred to as a welcoming home for the African diaspora, Ghana offers rich cultural experiences and a sense of belonging. Explore the vibrant markets of Accra and visit the historic Cape Coast Castle to connect with the nation's poignant past.
9.Seoul, South Korea
You may be surprised to find this city on the list, but for Black travelers, Seoul is said to be one of the safest and most exciting cities to travel to. There will be plenty to eat, buy, and experience from this city’s rich history and culture.
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Featured image by Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images