Megan Thee Stallion is ready to resume her life, not as a victim but as a survivor of gun violence.
In a recent as-told-to essay for ELLE, the 28-year-old mega-star took time to reflect on her experience surviving the shooting incident involving rapper Tory Lanez in July 2020.
In the piece, Megan described her traumas in the aftermath of the shooting and the drawn-out legal case and trial that brought on the public's negative reaction to the incident.
“Imagine how it feels to be called a liar every day?” Megan says. “Especially from a person who was once part of your inner circle.” She notes that many people were quick to doubt her story and blame her for how the incident unfolded. For nearly three years, she went through the weight of public humiliation, while being the brunt of jokes, memes, and “sneak disses” as her humanity was ignored.
“The truth is that I started falling into a depression,” the rapper says. “I didn’t feel like making music. I was in such a low place that I didn’t even know what I wanted to rap about. I wondered if people even cared anymore.”
She adds, “There would be times that I’d literally be backstage or in my hotel, crying my eyes out, and then I’d have to pull Megan Pete together and be Megan Thee Stallion.”
Megan wrote how not fitting “the profile of a victim” played a role in the dismissal of her traumas in the public eye and emphasized the importance of believing women when they come forward with their own stories of violence and abuse. “But my heart hurts for all the women around the world who are suffering in silence, especially if you’re a Black woman who doesn’t appear as if she needs help,” she says.
“So many times, people looked at me and thought, ‘You look strong. You’re outspoken. You’re tall. You don’t look like somebody who needs to be saved.’ They assumed that, per preconceived stigmas, ‘I didn’t fit the profile of a victim,’ and that I didn’t need support or protection.”
With time, the Houston fem-cee has been able to take a step away from the public eye to heal, spend time with her dogs, and “doing a lot of praying” to recover from the incident. “The physical and mental scars from this entire ordeal will always sting, but I’m taking the appropriate steps to resume my life,” Megan says.
And while she is “in a happier place,” there are still moments of anxiety that come up from time to time. “Talking about being shot still makes me emotional. I’ve started journaling as a way to better process my thoughts, hopes, and fears,” she says. “Prayer has also played a therapeutic role in my healing, because I can have honest and unfiltered conversations with God without any judgment.”
Megan concluded her essay by expressing her hope for a future where people can live without fear of gun violence and victims of trauma and abuse can receive the support and healing they need.
“My purpose is for these words to serve as the final time that I’ll address anything regarding this case in the press,” Megan notes in the article. “I understand the public intrigue, but for the sake of my mental health, I don’t plan to keep reliving the most traumatic experience of my life over and over again. I’m choosing to change the narrative because I’m more than just my trauma.”
With new music to come, we look forward to seeing Megan back on her healed, hot girl ish.
Featured image by Hubert Vestil/WireImage
Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
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The couple, who live a relatively private life aside from occasionally attending some red-carpet events, have been together for over two decades and share four sons, Miles, Zander, and Zion Tate. The identity of Larenz and Tomasina's fourth son hasn’t been publicly released.
In an interview with Buzzfeed's Cocoa Butter, the 47-year-old shared that he met Tomasina in 2000 when Jamie was throwing a party in Oakland, California, for NBA All-Star Weekend. During the June discussion, Larenz disclosed that at the event, Jamie was set to link up with a woman he invited to the party and needed a wingman because she brought a friend, which happened to be Tomasina.
Although the Love Jones star was initially apprehensive, he decided to speak to Tomasina. The pair got along so well that they exchanged numbers at the end of the night, and the rest is history.
"Jamie had a party, there was someone he was going to meet that he invited, and she had a friend. Foxx was like, 'Look, I need you to be a wingman and entertain her.' I was like, 'Bro, I ain't your wingman knock it off,'" he said. "That friend would ultimately become the person that I spend my life journey with as my wife. Twenty-three years ago."
In honor of Larenz and Tomasina's love story and 23-year romance, xoNecole looks back at the important events that occurred in their lives since they met that fateful day at Jamie's party and how they have maintained their loving bond over the years.
In 2000, Larenz and Tomasina met at Jamie Foxx's All-Star Party in Oakland, California. The couple began dating shortly after exchanging information and frequently seeing each other whenever Tomasina was in town.
After six years of dating, the couple welcomed their first son Miles Tate in July 2006. Four months later, Larenz and Tomasina officially tied the knot on November 30, 2006.
In 2008, the Tates expanded their family once again following the birth of their second son Zander Tate in June 2008.
Larenz and Tomasina welcomed their third son Zion Tate in 2013. Although there are limited details regarding Zion's official date of birth, many outlets report that he was allegedly born in November of that year.
In 2016, the couple reached a milestone in their relationship as they commemorated their tenth wedding anniversary.
Nearly two years following the joyous occasion, Larenz and Tomasina's love appears to be still going strong because in August 2018, their close friend Kristen Bellamy, wife to comedian Bill Bellamy, shared that the pair were expecting their fourth son. So far, Larenz and Tomasina's son's name and date of birth have yet to be released to the public.
Larenz On Maintaining His 23-Year Union With Tomasina
Although, for the most part, Larenz and Tomasina's relationship has been away from the spotlight to maintain their privacy, the Power star did share that showing affection is the secret to keeping their love alive after more than two decades.
In the same interview with Buzzfeed's Cocoa Butter, Larenz revealed one of the ways he expresses his love to Tomasina while talking to his sons about the importance of healthy relationships and how to implement them.
"I always talk to my kids about that. I say, 'Who's the most affectionate between me and mommy?' They're like, 'Ugh, dad,'" he stated.
"Because what I want them to see is that's something that's genuine. But I think it's important for them to see a man express hisself to a woman with emotion, love, and affection. So, you got to be affectionate to your lady. We're driving in the car, and we taking our kids to school. I might just tell her she's the sunshine no matter what."
Feature image by Gonzalo Marroquin/Getty Images for MACRO