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It's Never Too Late To Be The Woman You've Always Wanted To be

It's Never Too Late To Be The Woman You've Always Wanted To be

How I learned that you can reshape and reclaim your narrative at anytime!

Letter From The Editor

**From the editor's desk**

I've been thinking a lot about transformations lately.


I competed in my third fitness competition and walked away a champion with two first place trophies. This win meant more to me than any of the others, because it was the first time I've done a competition since I made the big move to New York. So this competition wasn't about beating the girls that joined me on stage that night, it was about beating the prior version of myself. It was about beating the insecurities, self-doubt, depression and anxiety that once filled my days. It was about beating the obesity, high blood pressure, and diabetes that run in my family history. Most importantly, it was about beating the girl that most of you guys had a chance to know as Necole Bitchie.

Last year, when people first learned I was a bikini fitness competitor, they were shocked because I had to take my body through a complete transformation -- similar to my life and career when I decided to shift paths. I realize more than ever that it takes real courage to walk away from the life you once knew. A lot of people are stuck in unfulfilling careers and/or relationships and are afraid to take that first step to evolve and elevate in their lives due to fear. And I find that a lot of people are afraid of change, not only because of the possibility of failure, but because of the feeling of "I'm too old" or "it's too late."

Well, I want to tell you something.

My own unique path to self-fulfillment and true joy didn't happen overnight. It has actually taken years and I didn't take the first step until I was in my mid-twenties.

It wasn't until I was 25 that I decided to pursue a job in the entertainment industry and I had to start as an unpaid intern. People thought I was crazy for working for free at that age, but I had a vision. I was 27 when I started my celebrity gossip blog while jobless, broke and sleeping in my aunt's guest room.

Although the site eventually amassed a huge following, and I garnered fame, money and success, I wasn't happy with my life and at the age of 34, I decided to walk away. At that age, society tells you that you are "supposed" to have it altogether, and there I was giving up everything I had worked so hard for.

IT WAS SCARY!

At age 35, I started all over again. During that time I launched a new site that was more empowering and reflective of the person I was becoming. That site was XoNecole.com.

At age 36, I decided to compete in my first NPC bikini fitness competition.

At age 37, after years of self-funding my websites, I experienced my first big business acquisition. At this age, for the first time, I am also balancing a career I love effortlessly with my personal life. I'm nurturing fulfilling friendships, attending retreats, taking vacations, and I am looking and feeling the best I've ever been mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.



The moral of this story is this: the only reason I am able to live my best life is because I was willing to take a risk.

It's never too late to start working towards the woman you always knew you could be.

You may be scrolling social media and feeling like you are behind or not doing enough because of what you may see others accomplishing but success is truly a slow climb. It's very hard not to compare yourself to what others are doing when you feel stuck and unfulfilled but we all have different paths and journeys. Just know, If you choose to compare your life to mine, I was a late bloomer who was broke and couch hopped until she was almost 30. And I was willing to face my biggest fears and risk going broke all over again at age 35 to live the life of my dreams, because I knew I deserved better than to stay stuck in a career path that didn't fulfill me.

You can reclaim and reshape your narrative at any time ❤️ Please, Remember that.

xo,

P.S. I'm currently reading "The Last Arrow" and the saying "Save nothing for the next life" is about to be my motto!

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My knee-jerk reaction, of course, comes from years of watching film and TV that have exploited Black trauma onscreen and were created with little (if any) consideration for what could emotionally trigger the Black audience. The 1955 murder of Emmett Till is so heartbreaking and inherently violent; would this film make us live through that violence on screen?

Fortunately, no!

This week, before watching Gina Prince-Bythewood's incredible The Woman King, a featurette for Till played in place of a trailer and it soothed my fears.

"There will be no physical violence against Black people on screen," the film's award-winning director and co-writer Chinonye Chukwu says in the featurette. "I'm not interested in relishing in that kind of physical trauma. We're going to begin and end in a place of joy," she says.

Starring Danielle Deadwyler (whose heartfelt performance on HBO's Station Eleven stole the show) as Mamie, Till is a celebration of Mamie's tireless activism which sparked the civil rights movement that continues today and ultimately culminated in President Biden signing the Emmett Till Anti-Lynching Act into law just a few months ago in March 2022. "Mamie Till Mobley is a hero," says Alana Mayo, president of Orion Pictures, the production company behind the film. "I'm really, really committed to making movies not just by us, but for us," Mayo says in the featurette.

After a private screening of Till, this week, Trayvon Martin's mother, Sybrina Fulton, tweeted that the film was "#Powerful" and "a must see."

Mamie's story of courage in the face of unspeakable tragedy deserves to be told--especially as we continue the fight for civil rights today. Knowing that the Black filmmakers behind the film are centering Black joy and aiming for our empowerment through the film makes a world of difference.

TILLis in theaters October 14.

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