Guess What? You Could Be 'Stretching Your Hair' All Wrong.
Straight (or straighter) hair, within our community, is a very polarizing conversation right now.On one hand, some women are saying that they are tired of being natural all of the time, so they have returned to relaxers. At the same time, our country is taking note of how potentially damaging the white lye can be and so they are close toputting a ban on some of the ingredients that are in it.
One of my friends recently said, “What would people really do if relaxing their hair was no longer a real option?” I mean, flat ironing and silk presses exist. However, the first thing that came to my mind was that they should do what I’ve been doing for quite some time now — stretching their locks out.
If you get how that’s a viable option yet you’ve never really been fully sold on it because it hasn’t exactly worked out brilliantly for you, this article might be of interest to you. Why do I say that? Because something tells me that it’s not so much the method that may be the challenge — it just might be your approach.
Read on, and let’s see.
Why Should You Stretch Your Hair Out, Anyway?
*le sigh* Even though I am well aware of the fact that some people in the natural hair world frown upon stretching natural hair because, in their eyes, it’s a form of low-key self-hatred because they think it means that we’re not happy with our unstretched curly texture — I absolutely do not subscribe to any of that. As someone with a hybrid of 4a and 4b hair, I actually like the texture that comes from my hair being unstretched (especially now that I’ve finally found the products that complement my curls the most!).
For me, stretching my hair is about using it as a way to keep the damage down that comes with day-to-day styling (when it’s not in a protective style, of course). After all, it’s been proven that when natural hair is stretched, that decreases detangling issues, fairy knot problems, and applying unnecessary pressure on your hair to the point where it leads to potential breakage.
Plus, if you’re someone who struggles with keeping all of your strands — from the roots to the ends — fully moisturized, stretching your tresses can make that a lot easier to do, too.
So, if someone tries to heckle or debate you on why stretching natural hair should be an option, share this article with them. If they choose not to see all of these points as valid, they are intentionally choosing not to, chile.
The Various Ways to Stretch Your Hair Out
Something that’s really cool about hair stretching is there are several approaches that you can take to doing it. The following technically eight are the most popular and, honestly, the safest when it comes to protecting the integrity of your locks.
Blowout. I’m a huge fan of blowouts. Even though they sometimes get a bad rap, I’m not someone who thinks that heat is not our friend. It’s all about making sure your hair has its proper moisture, that you apply a thermal heat protectant, and that you use a blow dryer that doesn’t zap your hair of hydration or damage your strands (you can read about thathere and watch a video on the topichere). A blowout is not only one of the quickest and longer-lasting ways to stretch your hair, but it can also make some of the other stretch methods so much easier to do.
Cornrows. My hair is stretched out most of the time. What I will do on wash days is blow out my hair (if you want to reduce the potential for damage, make sure that your tresses are at least 50 percent dry before doing so), and then I will put my hair in cornrows at night (or underneath a headwrap). Not only do cornrows help to keep my stretched hair without the need for heat, but they are also a really cute style if you want to keep your hair stretched and your ends tucked at the same time.
Bantu knots. Personally, I’ve always liked the fact thatBantu knots hail from central and South Africa. A part of the reason why I dig it is because I know that Zulu means “of/from the heavens” (or a variation of that like “sky”). Anyway, something that is awesome about Bantu knots is you can wear the knots as a hairstyle and then take them down and use the results as a heat-free way to obtain stretched-out hair.
Braid-outs or (African)twist-outs. A common form of stretching out your natural texture of curls without straightening them all the way is to do a braid-out or a twist-out. These consist of applying product to your hair (usually while it’s still wet or damp) in sections as small as you want your wavy look to be. Then, you braid or twist each section, allow your hair to dry completely, and unravel each braid or curl with your fingers. While I’m on this one, hands down, the best cream that I’ve come across to achieve this look isTaliah Waajid Curly Curl Cream. It’ll change y’all life, chile. No exaggeration!
Banding orthreading. Banding is something that I’ve only tried a couple of times; it does work, though. If you’re not familiar, it’s all about using hair ties along sections of your hair in order to stretch your hair as you let it dry (preferably air dry). Threading (more specifically,African threading) is actually seen as a protective style and a way to stretch your hair by using black thread (or any color you wish, actually) to wrap the sections of your hair from the root down to the ends.
Roller sets. Putting your hair in rollers after washing and (deep) conditioning it is another way to stretch your hair out. For this, some people use traditional rollers, while others opt forspiral curlers. The main thing to remember with this method is, that if you want to reduce frizzing, you definitely should apply a setting lotion first. And please make sure that your ends are wrapped well. Ain’t nothin’ like some curls that have straight ends. Ugh. And SMDH.
5 Hair Stretching Hacks That Can Get You the Results You Want
Okay, so now that we’ve unpacked what hair stretching is and some of the most popular ways that you can go about stretching out your own tresses, let me get into some things that, if you’re not doing them, could prevent you from getting the results that you’ve been looking for. Ready?
1. Make sure your hair has protein and (high) moisture. When you decide to stretch your hair, you are pulling on your hair strands; there’s no way around the fact that, if you’re not careful, that type of manipulation could lead to breakage. That’s why it’s important that yougive your hair a protein treatment approximately every 4-6 weeks and that you deep condition your hair on every wash day. Protein will help to keep your hair strong. Hydration will help your hair to have elasticity and reduce frizz.
2. Keep heat to a minimum. Again, for the skeptics in the back, I am absolutely not the person who is anti-heat. Honestly, back when I was trying to be like the YouTube naturalistas and go without any at all, that is when I was having the most trouble with styling my hair. For me, what has worked is blowing my hair out on wash days to stretch it and then keeping my hair in some sort of cornrow style whenever I’m not wearing my hair out. In between wash days (which is like every 11-21 days), I might apply heat once more, and that’s it.
The moral to the story here: whatever stretching method you decide to go with, the less heat, the better because your hair needs to maintain as much moisture as possible and heat has a way of zapping it off that.
3. Baby your ends. Something that I really had to learn the hard way was that if I wanted to get some real length retention, I needed to be super intentional about giving my ends some TLC on a consistent basis. This includes keeping your ends even (whether that’s by cutting, trimming, or, my personal favorite,dusting), moisturized (I try and apply a bit of leave-in conditioner to my ends every night), and sealing them on wash days (you can learn more about how to do thathere).
Please hear me loud and clear when I say that if you omit this, you will struggle with getting (or maintaining) inches because if your edges aren’t in good shape, they will probably snap off or turn into split ends if you keep stretching them out (because they will either become too dry or too weak).
4. Use hair stretching products. Out of all of the things that I’ve said thus far, hands down, the biggest “mistake” that (many) people make when they set out to stretch out their hair is they don’t consider applying products that are specifically designed to help them out in that department. For instance, one of my absolute faves is COLOR WOW’s Dream Coat. Although I used to think it was for “them” (LOL), it actually works really well on “us” too as a straightening serum and anti-frizz spray.
A few others that I have tried that have given humidity a finger as far as frizz goes includeNexxus's Ultralight Smooth Hair Serum,L’Oreal’s Paris Blow Dry Primer, andNexxus’s Smooth & Full Blow Dry Balm. Although there are PLENTY of others out here, those are the ones that I can personally vouch for that help to smooth out your cuticles, keep your hair manageable, and are able to “weigh your strands down” a bit, so that you’re able to stretch your hair out with ease and maintain the look for much longer than without any product use at all.
5. Remember that “the excess of a virtue is a vice.” Probably, for the rest of my life, one of my favorite quotes will be an Aristotle one that basically says that the excess of a virtue is a vice. What that boils down to is even good things done in excess can ultimately end up working against you in the long run. Keeping that very valid point in mind, even if you are a fan of stretching your hair, just make sure that you are manipulating your hair as little as possible, and sometimes you do give it a break with some protective styling or awash ‘n go.
That way, your hair will remain strong in between stretches — so that the “elongated look” will always be both beautiful and hair-beneficial as well. Happy stretching, sis!
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next October (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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What To Know About The Love Compatibility Of A Virgo Woman And A Pisces Man
A Virgo woman and a Pisces man in a relationship is what occurs when opposites attract. It’s often a rarity, but when developed properly, this couple can run off into the sunset together. They both bring a very different energy to the table, but love works in mysterious ways, and this is a connection designed in the stars.
Virgo Woman And Pisces Man Love Compatibility
The Virgo woman lives in reality, and the Pisces man lives in fantasy, but what happens when the Virgo woman wants to indulge in a little romanticism and let her mind take a break for once? She meets a Pisces man.
What attracts a Virgo woman and a Pisces man to each other?
The Virgo woman is instantly attracted to the Pisces man’s sweet, attentive, and stylish character. The Pisces man is instantly attracted to the Virgo woman's confidence, kindness, and intuitive energy. These are two people that get along right away and form an immediate bond, or it’s a slow burn that takes time to develop if it does at all.
The Virgo woman is attracted to the person she knows could benefit from her being in their life. She sees the Pisces man as someone who can learn a lot from her and whom she can learn a lot in return.
The Virgo woman is sophisticated, sure of herself, and grounded, and the Pisces man is more emotional and timid than Virgo. However, their complexities complement each other well because they show each other another perspective and way of being that they both often need to see.
What is the relationship like between a Virgo woman and a Pisces man?
The relationship between a Virgo woman and a Pisces man is either harmonious and compatible or disruptive and incompatible. Because these two signs oppose each other, this is a relationship of extremes. It’s either a great and beautiful relationship or a disharmonious and challenging one for individuals. Virgo is the halfway point of the zodiac and Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac, and they both function and need very different things in life.
Virgo wants to plan, and Pisces wants to dream. It can be difficult to even do the everyday mundane things together because they will both want to go about it in very different ways. They almost see the world in two completely different realities.
For the Virgo woman and Pisces man who make this relationship work and don’t experience the discord that some can here, it’s because they have faced their own shadows and reflection in the mirror. The Pisces man will reflect any insecurities the Virgo woman feels within and vice versa.
This is a couple that can trigger each other intentionally and unintentionally, and when this relationship works, it’s because they have both done the work and aren’t projecting onto each other. The compatibility between these two when they are on the same page is similar to best friends and lovers, and they have a fun, loyal, and thoughtful relationship. This is a couple you see spending a lot of time together, laughing, doing creative things, and enjoying their life with one another.
Are a Virgo woman and a Pisces man sexually compatible?
The sexual compatibility between a Virgo woman and a Pisces man is one of the better ones. The miscommunication problems they can have in their relationship don’t necessarily apply to the bedroom, and they understand each other’s language better here. This is also a part of life. Virgo brings out her more fun and wild side, and the Pisces man likes to see the Virgo woman in all her multitudes.
This is an area of life where the Virgo woman doesn’t have to think so much, and the Pisces man appreciates her attentiveness and presence here. The sex between the two is more romantic than anything, and this is a memorable connection for the both of them.
What makes a relationship between a Virgo woman and a Pisces man work?
What makes this relationship work is their respect and love for each other. There is a genuine fondness and admiration that these two have for one another and that connection and respect for each other is often unbreakable. There is a bit of magic that should be noted when these two fall in love. Fairytales can be made based on the Virgo woman and Pisces man love pairing. This is a man who will go out of his way to sweep Virgo off her feet and make her feel special, and she feels seen in this relationship. These two are also both mutable signs, so they can be flexible, communicative, and attentive in the relationship, which will be appreciated.
Another gift for the relationship between a Virgo woman and a Pisces man is that they are both good listeners. They both want to hear what each other has to say, and there is an undeniable compatibility between the two when they get to know each other. They complement each other well and are the type of couple who will always try to uplift and support one another, always. They often put each other, and the relationship on a pedestal and deeply admire the connection they form with one another. They say your opposite sign is your soulmate because this is the sign that resides in your 7th house of love, and this applies to Virgo and Pisces.
What may cause a Virgo woman and a Pisces man to break up?
The Virgo woman and Pisces man pairing can come to a head when they feel like they don’t have anything else to learn or experience together than they already have. A strength in the relationship is that they are both mutable signs, but this can also be their downfall. They both have an energy that fluctuates, and you can never really guess what the other person is going to do, say, or feel next, and that can be disruptive for a relationship in the long term. The Virgo woman will get tired of having to guess where the Pisces man stands, and the Pisces man will get tired of trying to live up to the Virgo woman's expectations.
Challenges also may begin to arise when it comes to daily habits and rituals. The Virgo woman is a doer, and the Pisces is a dreamer. She can become frustrated by the Pisces man's lack of urgency when he needs more time to feel things through and determine his next steps. The Pisces man can also become disheartened with the Virgo woman overanalyzing him when she tries to understand his emotions better and will begin to doubt his own voice or feelings within the relationship.
If they are not hearing each other out and considering each other's perspectives, then this relationship can end as quickly as it began.
Summary: What is a Virgo woman and Pisces man's love compatibility?
This is a relationship of extremes, however, if they can both work on being less critical of one another then this can be a relationship that goes extremely well. They have a lot to learn from each other and this is a more karmic pairing, as they are often destined to meet. The Virgo woman finds a partner in this relationship that she can adore, be inspired by, and build a life with, and the Pisces man finds a partner in this relationship he can appreciate, respect, and enjoy his time with.
Overall, this is a relationship that when it works, it really works, and when it doesn’t, it really doesn't.
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