
Although I’m going to forever be the woman who thinks that ladies should never be ashamed of their age — because aging is a beautiful thing as well as a blessing — that doesn’t mean I think that we should be out here just letting ourselves go. The reality is, that we can tell the truth about our birthdays and still earn a ton of compliments about how good we look on each and every one of them when we are aware of the many ways to slow down the physical appearance of aging.
By factoring in things like eating healthy, drinking less alcohol, exercising, not using beauty products that contain harsh chemicals, and keeping stress down to a minimum, you are playing a significant role in keeping your skin (and hair) looking younger than it actually may be.
Today, to go along with those things, I’ve provided 12 other tips that can help slow down the aging process as far as how you look goes. The cool thing about all of them is they are all-natural, easy to implement, and have been proven to be effective.
1. Eat Some Broccoli and Cauliflower

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As I was doing a bit of research for this article, my 'something new' was learning that the Latin word cruciferae means “cross bearing;" apparently, it’s because many “mustard-related” veggies have four petals that resemble a cross (interesting). Ironically enough, if you want to keep your skin looking youthful and healthy, cruciferous vegetables can be its (pardon the pun) saving grace. Not only do veggies like broccoli, cauliflower, and arugula help to restore some of the immunity that declines as we get older, they can help to lower the risk of a breast cancer diagnosis.
Also, because they are loaded with vitamin C, the collagen that’s in that particular nutrient can help to reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles too.
2. Consume More Fatty Acids
A simple explanation of fatty acids is they’re the kind of fats that are actually good for you, especially as far as your heart is concerned. The reason why your skin and hair like them so much is because they contain properties that help to protect them both from UV damage, they can keep your skin and hair hydrated and, when it comes to your hair, specifically, fatty acids are able to help to prevent hair loss (something that can become an issue as you get older).
Another cool thing about fatty acids is they have the ability to keep the surface layers of your skin looking smooth and even. One way to get fatty acids into your system is to take an omega supplement or fish oil supplement. Another option is to consume foods that are loaded with them. Some of those include salmon, chia seeds, pasture-raised eggs, spinach and anchovies.
3. Create an Essential Oil Blend
Any time that I’m given the opportunity to shout out some type of essential oil, you can absolutely believe that I am going to do it. Today, since the focus is slowing down the appearance of aging, I’m going to share a few that can help you out in that department. One that I like a lot is rosemary oil. To me, it provides a radiant glow without a (super) oily residue. Beyond that, it also helps to fight off the kind of free radicals that can lead to cellular damage and make your skin look older than it actually is.
Sandalwood oil is another great option; that’s because it contains properties that can help to smooth out the appearance of fine lines. Another essential oil to consider is neroli; it’s been known to help with cell renewal (so that your skin loses more dead skin cells; frankincense can do this as well). Add one or all of these to a carrier oil (to dilute the potency in them), and you’ll have a great moisturizer to put on your skin before turning in at night.
4. Bathe in Milk

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Although I can’t tell you the last time that I drank a cup of milk (I’m more of an oat milk gal, myself), if there’s one thing that I will do, with the quickness, is hop into a tub that is filled with some dairy milk in it. Why? Well, between the vitamins A and D along with the lauric acid that’s in it, milk is awesome when it comes to gently exfoliating your skin, deeply moisturizing it, and reducing skin inflammation.
In fact, if you’ve been looking for a chemical-free type of skin cleanser, some skin experts say that washing your face in milk can be just as (if not more) effective than many popular skincare products. Oh, and while we’re on the topic, when it comes to your hair, milk can also reduce dryness, heal dandruff, and reduce split ends. Yep, cosmetically, milk totally has your back in a myriad of different ways.
5. DIY a Blend of Shea Butter and Aloe Vera
If you’ve ever looked at (eh hem) certain other folks and wondered why some of them look twice their age, a big part of it is because, if they’ve spent years in the sun and didn’t protect their skin in the process, the UV rays have damaged it. Photoaging is one term for it and it can lead to things like wrinkles, hyperpigmentation, and a loss of skin’s elasticity. And while it is indeed true that the extra melanin in our skin helps to slow down the aging process, never fall for the okey-doke that you don’t need sunscreen as well.
That said if you’d prefer an all-natural DIY alternative, mix some shea butter and pure organic aloe vera gel together. Not only will shea butter help to protect your skin from the damage that the sun can do, but it will also moisturize it and protect it from cellular damage; plus, it’s rich in vitamins A and E. As far as aloe vera gel goes, it will deeply hydrate your skin, work to prevent sun damage from happening in the first place and, if you happen to have eczema or psoriasis, it can reduce inflammation and irritation that spending time in the sun may trigger too.
6. Drink Some Black Tea
If you’re a tea drinker, the fact that black tea can help you to live longer (by reducing your risk for heart disease and a stroke), is already enough of a reason to drink it on a consistent basis. However, as far as slowing down the signs of aging goes, another dope thing about black tea is it contains antioxidants that can protect your skin from sun damage from the inside out. Plus, the polyphenols in them (which are basically organic compounds) can help to slow down the development of fine lines and wrinkles, slow down the gene that slows down the production of collagen in your system and, black tea is good at strengthening your hair over time as well.
7. Watch Those Straws

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OK, so last year, Allure published an article entitled, “Is Your Stanley Tumbler Changing Your Face?” Guess what the answer was? Basically, yes. Not if you suck on a straw every once in a while, but if you’re doing it constantly, you are very much so on your way to having more fine lines around your mouth than you probably would like. Now, is there some type of a workaround? Apparently, there are some anti-wrinkle straws that are making their way into the marketplace space; however, being intentional about not pursing your lips together so much and also making sure that the skin around the outside of your lips is well-moisturized at all times? Those hacks also can come in pretty handy.
8. Exfoliate Your Hands and Your Neck
This point, I’ve stated before. Y’all, even before I reached the age that it personally mattered, if there was one thing that irked me to no end, it was seeing a woman whose face looked one age while her neck looked another. SMDH. Listen, it doesn’t matter how much you try, and conceal your actual years on this planet if you’re overlooking the needs of your neck and hands while doing it. Why? Well, if two things are gonna “tell on you,” they would be it. That’s why, aside from (of course) washing and moisturizing those parts of your body, it’s also important that you exfoliate them too.
When it comes to your neck, some dermatologists recommend doing the exfoliation process with a product that contains alpha-hydroxy acid. Another option is to exfoliate your neck and hands with an all-natural body scrub that’s made from fruit (some recipes are here); ones like strawberries contain a “grit” that can help to remove dead skin while the antioxidants in them will help to give your skin a healthy glow.
9. Scrub Your Scalp
A part of the reason why I wrote the article, “10 Things Your Scalp Has BEEN Waiting For You To Do,” for the platform is because if there’s one part of our body that tends to not get the kind of pampering and care that it deserves, it’s our scalp. And, as far as TLC goes, one thing that is an absolute must is exfoliation on wash days. Not only will it help to break up dandruff flakes and get rid of dry skin that may cause itchiness and irritation, but scalp exfoliation is also great for your hair overall. For one thing, it helps to remove any build-up that could be clogging your hair follicles, and it helps to reduce stress so that your hair can grow healthy and strong (which is always a plus as you get older).
10. Apply Horsetail Plant Oil

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Speaking of hair, since it’s been reported that more than half of women over 50 will experience some level of at least semi-noticeable hair thinning or hair loss, in part due to the changes that come along with perimenopause and menopause, horsetail plant oil is something else that you might want to keep in your possession. The silicon and antioxidants in the oil will help to prevent hair thinning and the phenolic compounds in it will help to keep oxidative stress and damage at bay.
11. Deep Breathe
As far as your health is concerned, you may have already heard or read somewhere that deep breathing can help to reduce stress (and since a lot of serious health issues are directly tied to stress, that’s a good thing to keep in mind). However, did you also know that since deep breathing can make you calmer, that can ultimately help your body to produce more collagen which, in turn, can help you to look youthful? Yep, by devoting just five minutes, twice a day, to deeply inhale and exhale, you can get anxiety off your back while also bringing more oxygen to your skin, which helps with cell renewal and rejuvenation.
12. Sleep on Your Back
And finally, how do you sleep? Is it on your stomach? On your side? Or on your back? If the answer is “C,” even if you’re just doing it for comfort’s sake, you are actually benefitting your health on a few different levels. Sleeping on your back helps you to breathe better, can help to clear up sinus, headache, neck, and back tension; and, because your face is not rubbing against your pillow and sheets all night long, it just might reduce the chances of you experiencing breakouts too. Also, as far as aging goes, since moving around on your bedding can also create friction on your skin that can ultimately result in fine lines — well, that’s just one more reason to consider sleeping on your back, at least a couple of times a week.
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See, I told you. By just making a few minor adjustments to your lifestyle (and doing them consistently), you can be well on your way to being one age and looking another. Try these and tell me it ain’t so!
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Your October 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Magnetic Love & Divine Timing
October is about the power of attraction. This is the month to set your intentions, create space for a new beginning, and find your balance between the past, present, and future. There aren’t many astrological transits this month, signaling more possibilities in the air and an opportunity to create that which you desire.
We begin the month in Libra Season, and Libra Season is always the time of year when love is the highlight. With Juno also entering Sagittarius on October 1, right as we begin the month, it’s about committing yourself to a new adventure, to the gifts of love, and to perspectives that heal and bring you closer to another.
October 2025 Astrology: An Overview
Mercury enters Scorpio on October 6, and Mercury in Scorpio only knows depth. The conversations being had this month are inspiring, transformative, and a little more blunt than usual. This energy is good for the power of persuasion and for asking for what you want, especially within business and financial matters. On the same day, we have a Supermoon in Aries, and this is a powerful Full Moon for reflection, owning your power, and letting go of the insecurities that don’t resonate with what you want for yourself and your future.
Venus, the planet of love, moves into Libra on October 13 after being in Virgo for the past month, and after some time of healing and clarity in love, Libra is here to bring in the romance. Venus loves being in Libra, and this energy creates new beginnings within relationships and provides a little extra magic in this area of life. With Pluto going direct in Aquarius on the same day after being retrograde since May, life and love move forward mid-October, helping provide more stable and nurturing foundations in your personal life and community as well.
The New Moon of the month occurs in Libra on October 21, making it a beautiful time for manifesting romance, balance, and harmony in your world.
This New Moon aligns with the Sun in Libra, and it’s all about letting a new beginning transform your world and the love in your life for the better. Scorpio Season officially begins on October 22, and Neptune retrograde enters Pisces on the same day, bringing in some water sign energy into the mix. As we close out the month, it’s time to renew, honor the transformations occurring, and know that your dreams aren’t as far out of reach as they may seem at times.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what October 2025 has in store for you.
What October 2025 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is all about perspective, Aries. This is the month to trust the divine timing of your life, and not let the what-ifs overwhelm you. With the Sun in Libra, your sister sign, for most of the month, October is about building connections, finding your balance in love, and knowing that you are worthy of what your heart is seeking right now. We have a Supermoon in your sign on October 6, and emotions are a little heavier this month, but also healing. Give yourself grace, and let go of what isn’t working for you.
Venus is in your house of love from October 13 until November 6, and there is a lot to look forward to when it comes to romance and the relationship dynamics in your life as you move through the month. It’s about being confident in your power of attraction and letting love come to you right now. Before October comes to an end, we have a New Moon in your 7th house of love as well, and with all this energy in your relationship zone, life changes for you in love for the better in October.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a spiritual month for you, Taurus. You are thinking a lot about your next steps ahead, and are getting organized, focused, and aligned. The Supermoon on October 6 is a time of reflection for you, and you are entering the month ready to let go of the past, heal, and create space for something new in your life. This month is all about trusting your intuition and letting your wisdom guide you in your personal growth and evolution.
You are more than where you have been, and this month is a reminder of that.
With Mars in Scorpio and in your 7th house of love all month, you are motivated by the partnerships in your life right now. Your love life and relationships are where the action is for you this month, and you are honoring your passion and direction here. Venus, your planetary ruler, moves into your house of health mid-month and into November, and you are leaving October seeking healthier habits, daily routines, and relationships. Overall, this month is helping you align with your vision.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is a fresh start for you, Gemini. Your heart is free, love is beaming, and you are feeling larger than life. This month is about taking a leap of faith in yourself, honoring your confidence in life, and being your biggest advocate. With the Sun in your 5th house of self-expression, romance, and happiness, and with Venus entering this same area of your chart mid-October, there is a lot to look forward to right now, and things are looking up for you.
On October 21, we have a New Moon in a fellow air sign, and this is a good time to set your intentions for creative projects, hobbies, romance, and your overall happiness in life. There are a lot of little moments of magic unfolding for you this month, and this New Moon is one of them. Before October comes to an end, Mercury, your ruling planet, enters Sagittarius, and this brings open communication into your relationships, and you are having lively conversations and insights.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a transformative month for you, Cancer. You are moving through closure, healing, and depth as you navigate the opportunities that are coming into your life, with the stability you are seeking. With the Sun in your 4th house of home and family in October, this is the month to spend more time in your safe spaces, connect with your loved ones, and get grounded. You are also more focused on your financial world right now, and this is a good time for building new foundations for yourself and looking at the bigger picture when it comes to your career and life goals.
Mars is in your house of romance and happiness for the entire month, and this is one of the highlights of your life right now. You are passionate about your joy and all the things that light you up inside, and you are protecting your peace and giving more of your energy to your pleasure. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Libra, highlighting your home life, and some Cancers may be moving at the end of the month or getting the opportunity to turn a page here. Overall, this is your month to reflect, go within, and make sense of what has been restricting you from feeling stable.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about taking things one day at a time and being patient with what is presenting itself to you, Leo. This month, you are getting your ducks in a row and gaining the clarity needed to create a new beginning in your life. The month begins with a Supermoon in a fellow fire sign on October 6, aligning in harmony with you and fueling your need for adventure. You are going over the wisdom you have gained as of late and how it has shifted the way you navigate your life and see the world around you.
On October 13, Pluto goes direct in your 7th house of love, after being retrograde here since May. This is bringing in more balance, empowerment, and passion into your love life, and this is a positive change of energy for you after a time of some power struggles within your relationships. Before the month comes to an end, we have a New Moon in Libra, and this New Moon is the best time to set intentions for clarity, communication, and connection. October is about taking your time with things and knowing that everything is working out in your favor at the end of the day.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis October is about finding your balance, Virgo. There is a lot of energy when it comes to your finances this month, but you may be overworking or overcommitting yourself in the process. Honor the opportunities and responsibilities in your life, but make sure you are equally taking care of your health and prioritizing your time and energy so that you don’t burn out. Venus, the planet of love, is in your sign until October 13; use this energy to your benefit and let things come to you.
You are a magnet for abundance, romance, and support if you allow yourself to receive it.
On October 13, Venus moves into your 2nd house of income, and your relationships are a supportive place for you to lean on right now. Your love life and partnerships are where your financial world is evolving this month, and this is a good time to ask for what you want; you never know what may happen. At the end of the month, Neptune goes retrograde in your sister sign, Pisces, and you are taking a step back and reassessing what love means for you right now. Overall, October is about remembering that you don’t have to do it all alone, Virgo.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLibra Season is here, and it’s your time to shine and thrive! This Libra Season changes everything for you, and October is when you really begin to feel this shift in your life. The Sun is in your sign until October 22, and it’s time to put yourself first. With a Supermoon in Aries as we begin the month as well, you are letting go of any unhealthy attachments or relationship dynamics that take you away from yourself, and are moving into deeper clarity.
On October 13, Venus, your planetary ruler, enters your sign, where it loves to be the most. With Venus in your sign for the rest of the month, love takes on a new tone, and you are feeling more love for yourself and where life is taking you right now. To end the month, we have a New Moon in Libra, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want life to grow for you over the next year. This is a month of embarking on a new journey of self, and allowing what is inspiring you right now to build your confidence in yourself and your relationships.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about honoring your freedom and your power to decide, Scorpio. A lot is going on for you this month, and you have the passion and energy to see things through. Mercury, the planet of communication, moves into your sign at the beginning of the month on October 6, and this is going to help you get your ideas across, making it a good month for business matters, networking, and getting inspired. With Mars also in your sign for the entire month, life moves forward for you in transformative ways in October, and you are a force to be reckoned with.
On October 13, Venus moves into your house of closure, healing, and endings, and you are ready to close one chapter of love and create space for a new one. You are in a contemplative space when it comes to matters of the heart, and you are ready to let go of any heaviness you have been feeling here. Scorpio Season officially begins on October 22, and you are ready to begin again. This Scorpio Season is about owning your confidence in life while letting go of insecurities or self-doubts that have been getting in the way of that.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleEverything unfolds for you in a beautiful way this month, Sagittarius. You are flowing well with the energy of October, and life opens up to you. With the Sun in your 11th house of aspirations, dreams, manifestations, and community, you are feeling in balance with your desires and your reality, and are bridging the gap here. This is a month of friendship, believing in your dreams, and creating space for love. With Juno also entering your sign at the beginning of the month until the end of the year, you are attracting soulmates into your life.
On October 6, we have a Supermoon in a fellow fire sign, allowing you some closure in love and a chance at healing. Your heart is feeling renewed, and you are owning your power in creating happiness in your life. Before the month ends, Mercury moves into Sagittarius, where it will be until mid-November, and inspiration is heightened. Pay attention to the guidance you are receiving this month, the conversations you are having, and the light bulb moments that are going off for you right now.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about going within and connecting with the guidance of your soul, Capricorn. You are taking more time for yourself this month, and rightly so, as you need time to fully process what has happened so far this year. Pluto goes direct in your 2nd house of income, and this moves things forward when it comes to your earning potential, abundance, and values.
The key this month is in valuing yourself, your perspective, and what you are building in your life right now.
On October 21, we have a New Moon happening in your career zone, and this is a good time to manifest your goals within your professional world. Put yourself out there, show up, and know that you are worthy of success and that your dreams aren’t too big for you. As we close out the month, Mercury moves into your house of closure, even further facilitating your desire for contemplation and alone time this month. Overall, October is about taking care of your mental health, owning your successes, and finding your peace.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a new beginning for you in love and in life, Aquarius. Your heart is feeling inspired, and there is a lot to look forward to right now. The Supermoon at the beginning of the month will be occurring in your 3rd house of communication, giving you the answers you have been looking for and helping you close the door on a chapter in your life that left you feeling misunderstood or misdirected. You are ready for a change of pace this month, and you are receiving that as we begin October.
Mid-October, Pluto goes direct in your sign after being retrograde since May, and this is a huge breath of fresh air for you and your path ahead. You may have been a little harder on yourself while Pluto was retrograde this year, and now you feel ready to forgive, move on, and own your power. Before the month comes to an end, we have a New Moon in Libra, and you are embarking on a new adventure. The end of the month is a good time for traveling, exploring, and gaining a new perspective.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is giving you the guidance, perspective, and passion to see yourself with clear, loving eyes, Pisces. There is a sense of feeling more overwhelmed with life lately, and October is allowing you to gain the insight needed to move on from this energy, or at least see more of the gifts of what has occurred. On October 6, we have a Supermoon in an area of your chart having to do with self-worth, values, and income, and it’s time to see the gifts of what you have been investing in and valuing in your life, including yourself.
Let go of the need to play it small or count yourself out of important conversations, and know that you deserve a seat at the table.
With Pluto going direct in your 12th house of healing as we end the month, you are finally getting the answers you have been looking for emotionally, and it’s changing your perspective on your commitments in life and making you feel empowered. Before the month ends, Neptune goes retrograde in Pisces, and you are going to be moving through a personal revolution as we close out the year. You are inspired by change right now, and this month is what kicks starts this metamorphosis within you.
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Orgasms Last Half Of A Commercial Long. Here's How To Make Yours Last Longer.
If you read the title of this and felt like it might be some low-key clickbait, that is absolutely not the case. The reality is, according to quite a bit of extensive research, although orgasms can last anywhere from 10-60 seconds, if we were to break things down by gender, in general, men’s orgasms usually last somewhere around 22 seconds while women’s orgasms last somewhere around 13-15 seconds (for many). And since the average commercial is 30 seconds long — well, there ya go.
This is of the utmost importance to me because, at least in my humble opinion, one of the best experiences that life has to offer is a good ole’ orgasm. That is why I thought that this would be as good of a time as any to provide a few tips that can help you to get the most out of your own “climbing the wall” moments.
And so, are you ready to see if you can get at least 10-15 more seconds out of the climaxes you have? I just might have some things to hook you all the way up below.
So, the Technical Term for It Is an “Extended Orgasm”
GiphyAight, so let’s get right into it. When you want to achieve the kind of orgasm that lasts longer than the — or probably the more accurate way to put it, your — average one does, that is called an extended orgasm. It’s important to not confuse this with multiple orgasms which are what happens when you climax and then come to the fourth stage of an orgasm (which is called a resolution) only to pick back up and start the cycle of orgasming all over again.
Nah, an extended orgasm is one long(er) climax that never comes to a resolution; it just holds at the climax position for a longer period of time.
And what would be the purpose of wanting to have one of those? C’mon now. If you’ve had an orgasm before, you absolutely know the answer to that; especially if you’re someone who tends to have orgasms that only last for a few seconds, max.
Okay, but really — what can you actually do to “see the mountaintop” for more than just a fleeting moment in time…every time? Well, I have 10 tips that would be hella fun (at the very least) to give a shot.
Tips To Make Your Orgasms Last Longer
1. Figure Out What Your Clitoris Likes (and Needs)
GiphySince once upon a time, I used to watch porn and then I transitioned into working with an organization that dealt with sex and porn addiction (check out “Working For A Porn Ministry Got Me Over Watching Porn”), I can tell when people have learned a lot of their sex moves via some consistent porn engagement. Like back in the day when I was gettin’ it in — I used to damn near loathe whenever a guy would try to pat on my vagina. That is such a porn move.
For me, I prefer a… gentler and more creative approach. And that’s exactly my point: since a clitoris literally only exists to bring women sexual pleasure — figure out what touches work for you, both in foreplay and during sex. After reading Healthline’s “The Ultimate Guide to Clitoral Stimulation,” I came to appreciate just how many ways there actually are. Check the article out then experiment with which ones are bomb for you.
2. Make Sure Your Partner Can Access Your Clitoris As Much As Possible
GiphySpeaking of your clitoris, if you were to go to Google to check out the AI overview of it, as it relates to having an orgasm, you are probably going to see something along the lines of, “The clitoris is the primary source of arousal and orgasm for most women, with direct stimulation of the clitoris being the easiest and most effective way to achieve orgasm, according to a large sample of women.” (At least, this is what came up for me.)
What this does as serve as a solid reminder that, whether it’s during foreplay or intercourse, it’s important to remain in a position where your partner can easily access (in order to stimulate) your clitoris as much as possible. That way, he can “manipulate” (via stimulation) your clitoris with certain amounts of applied pressure, so that having an extended orgasm is easier for you.
Certain positions that can help with this include spooning, being penetrated while you are on the edge of the bed and having sex while you’re acting like a wheel barrel. Artistic visuals of all of this can be found here.
3. Incorporate Scents That Reduce Stress
GiphyIt’s going to be difficult to have an orgasm if you’re all stressed out. That’s because, although sex is proven to reduce stress and anxiety levels, when it comes to climaxing, if your stress hormone (which is known as your cortisol hormone) is elevated, that can lower your libido and also your sex hormones; you don’t want that to happen because they are essential for you to have an orgasm in the first place. That’s why it’s critical that you lower the stress that you may be experiencing via all of your senses (sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell).
One way to do that is by incorporating scents that help to keep your stress levels down. Whether it’s essential oil in a diffuser, lighting some soy candles or spraying one of the following scents on your bedding (or all three) — try some jasmine, mandarin, rose, patchouli, lavender, neroli or frankincense. All are alluring. All are proven to relax your mind, body and spirit too.
4. Sip on Some Infused Berry Water
GiphyIf you’re dehydrated, it’s going to be hard to cum. That’s not my opinion, that’s a scientific fact. The breakdown is water helps to keep you (naturally) lubricated, it balances your hormones out and it also provides you with an energy boost. And while you’re at it, throw some berries into your pitcher or glass.
Since they are packed with antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties, they are able to keep your blood flowing freely — which is definitely something that needs to happen if you want to have a long and satisfying orgasm (by the way, citrus fruits and pomegranates can do this for you too).
5. Try a Lil’ Yoga with Your Sex
GiphyBeing in a relaxed state and breathing properly are two things that definitely need to happen if you want to have a really good orgasm. That’s why yoga just had to come up — because it’s a form of exercise that incorporates both of these things. In fact, there are specific yoga poses that have a reputation for making copulation amazing including the Lizard, the Cat Cow and — surprise, surprise — the Downward Dog.
What’s cool about all of these is you can do them in your bedroom or incorporate them into intercourse (to learn more about yoga sex and, what is somewhat similar, tantric sex, go here, here and here).
6. If It’s via Oral Sex, Have Your Partner “Edge” You (with His Tongue)
GiphyIf it’s easier for you to climax from cunnilingus than intercourse, please don’t stress yourself out about that — at the end of the day, an orgasm is an orgasm…right? And while he’s doing his thing down there, be open to him edging you with his tongue and lips. Although people often think about edging in the context of people getting to the point of climaxing during intercourse and then delaying it over and over again (in order for the orgasm to ultimately be that much stronger), the reality is that edging is about sexual stimulation, period, no matter how it — pardon the pun — comes.
So, while he’s using his mouth to “take you there,” use your words (dirty words, preferably) to let him know when you’re about to climax — and then have him slow down the pace (with his tongue and lips), so that your orgasms can be…further extended.
7. Apply Some Arousal Gel
GiphyQuestion: Have you ever tried arousal gel before? If not, please make the investment. Although there is nothing that can automatically guarantee that you’ll experience the type of orgasm that you’re looking for, arousal gel can certainly help with accomplishing the mission. That’s because it contains ingredients that help to stimulate blood flow to your genitalia — and that always increases the chances of you experiencing some pretty intense climaxing.
So, if you want to give this gel a shot, click here for a list of some favorite brands.
8. Have Your Partner Focus on Another Erogenous Zone As You’re Climaxing
GiphyLet me tell you a woman who I personally think STILL doesn’t get the props that she deserves for her singing chops: some freakin’ Tamia. And y’all, when that woman sang “Stranger in My House” on Apollo? Whew. Yeah, the real ones know how the bridge goes — Pop quiz: Tell me where we first kissed. Tell me where my spot is. Tell me if I liked it, loved it. LISTEN.
You wanna have a hellified orgasm, you (and your partner) better know where your spots are. And when you are at the point of cumming, have him, umm, indulge in one of those spots along with penetrating you. I’d be damn near shocked if your head didn’t almost explode if/when he does.
9. Do Some Tongue Sucking (Again, As You Are Climaxing)
GiphySpeaking of multitasking, a few years back, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “Wanna Climax More? KISS MORE.” Aside from the fact that some people are able to orgasm just from kissing alone, it can definitely take you to next levels of arousal during sex. That’s because kissing releases hormones like oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin that not only make you feel closer to your partner but it can help to sexually stimulate you too.
And if the two of you engage in tongue sucking while you’re kissing? GIRRRRRL…tongues have a ton of nerve endings which makes them super sensitive to touch or lick — let alone…suck. Try it and tell me that I’m wrong (you won’t).
10. Squeeze Your Thighs Together
GiphyPlease don’t tell me that I’m the only one who is literally shaking your damn head about the movie Waiting to Exhale being 30 years old this year (the book is even better, by the way). Geeze. And as I wrap this “You totally deserve to have an extended orgasm” cheat sheet up, I thought about the scene where Robin (Lela Rochon) and Michael (Wendell Pierce) were having sex and she said that when she squeezed her hips/thighs real tight, she exploded.
And this is my final tip when it comes to how to make your orgasms last longer. The technical term for it is syntribation (which basically means “hands-free masturbation”). Pretty much what happens is, when you squeeze your thighs together, it stimulates your clitoris — and when you’re doing this while a penis is already inside of you? NEED. I. SAY. MORE?
___
Life is short. Have longer orgasms.
Hell, somebody needs to put that on a T-shirt — no, billboards all throughout the country! LOL.
With these tips, I’m thinking that you now can, so try them out and report back.
I can’t wait!
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Featured image by Giphy









