
Halle Bailey Recently Spoke About Her Postpartum Depression — And I’m So Glad She Did

If you’re one to track celebrity news — which, let’s be real, is oftentimes nothing more than gossip — you’ve probably noticed that actor and singer Halle Bailey’s name has been coming up quite a bit as of late. Last week, she announced a mini solo residency (her first) that sold out in a matter of minutes, and since she and artist DDG (the father of her firstborn son, Halo) have broken up, it’s like folks are publishing minute-by-minute updates on what co-parenting is like for the both of them (and between them).
However, what caught and held my attention was her sharing the fact that she has been going through postpartum depression in the midst of…it all.
As Halle went on to explain her extreme anxiety when it came to being apart from her baby for more than 30 minutes, looking in the mirror and not really recognizing herself, and feeling triggered (in ways she probably wouldn’t be otherwise) — as a doula (which is basically a birthing assistant) who has had a front seat to clients who’ve battled with postpartum depression as well (and also as someone who knows that somewhere around 1 in 8 women deal with it on some level), I thought that now would be as good of a time as any to address some things about postpartum depression head on.
One, so that it can be taken more seriously than it oftentimes is. Two, so that you can know what to potentially look out for if you’re pregnant or someone you care about is. And, last but not least, if you have recently been diagnosed with postpartum depression, you can know that there is absolutely nothing to feel ashamed about — and that you are certainly not alone.
Postpartum Depression. Revisited.
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First up, I’m not even gonna begin to act like I can cover something as…vast as postpartum depression in one article. However, I am going to try to provide a bit of fact-based intel, just so you can separate myths, rumors, and the attitude of dismissiveness from what this type of depression is actually all about.
Postpartum depression (which is sometimes also referred to as perinatal depression and is also known as PPD) is the type of depression that occurs either during a woman’s pregnancy or shortly after she gives birth. Although the Greek philosopher and physician Hippocrates spotted emotional challenges that new moms would experience all the way back in his day (which was a LONG time ago), it actually wasn’t until — check it — 1994 (just 30 years ago — SMDH) that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders formally listed postpartum depression “medically defined concept.”
Since then, even more studies have been trying to get to the root of postpartum depression. For instance, a UCLA team came to the conclusion about a decade ago that pregnancy alters the brain on many different levels. It does this by (for example) causing neurosteroid chemicals to skyrocket during pregnancy and then plummet after giving birth, which can cause the brain to go through extremes in order to resume some sort of balance.
In 2019, in response to this, the FDA approved Zulresso (brexanolone). New moms 15 and over can take it, although it absolutely must be under the supervision of a medical professional due to some of its potential side effects.
It also should go on record that there are three different types of postpartum depression — there’s the “baby blues” that easily at least half (some reports say as much as 75 percent) of new moms go through which is pretty (self-) manageable; there’s postpartum depression that comes with more severe symptoms (more on that in a sec), and then there’s postpartum psychosis which is the most extreme kind of PPD. Around 1 in 1,000 women are diagnosed with it, and it can include paranoia, hallucinations, and mania.
Okay, so how can you know if what you are experiencing is “baby blues” or something more serious? That is an excellent question.
5 Early Signs of Postpartum Depression
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Although some of my clients are individuals who I didn’t know prior to their pregnancy, some people have been friends. One friend, in particular, I had known for about 20 years at the time that I helped her give birth to her first child ,and so I knew her personality very well. That’s why, when I noticed some of the signs that I’m about to share, I alerted her midwife ASAP.
Initially, her midwife said that we should wait a couple of weeks to see if it really was postpartum depression, yet my friend was moving so out of character that I wouldn’t let up. Later on, her midwife told me that she was glad that I didn’t wait because my friend ended up going through a pretty serious bout of postpartum depression for a few months.
1. Early signs of PPD: Your emotions don't "level out" within the first couple of weeks.
Listen, if premenstrual syndrome (PMS) is real (and it is), in part due to all of the hormonal changes that we go through (perimenopause comes to mind, too), I bet you can just imagine all that is going on, hormonally, after giving birth. And while the first couple of weeks can seem a bit all over the place, if you’re not starting to feel like your old self within a couple of weeks or so, don’t merely shrug that off; it could be a postpartum depression warning sign.
2. Early signs of PPD: Your anxiety is through the roof.
Something that really let me know that something was up with my friend is she was obsessed with feeding her child (a part of the issue was mastitis, which is an infection within a woman’s breast tissue). It was so much to the point that she wouldn’t sleep, and when I would be insistent upon it, she would put a bottle up on a pregnancy pillow and prop her baby up next to it (keep in mind that this was a newborn). She was super anxious and irritable, which can be another warning sign of entering into postpartum depression.
3. Early signs of PPD: Your day-to-day patterns are drastically shifting.
Your baby is going to create a new normal for your life; that is guaranteed. However, if you’re noticing that you are totally deviating from everything that you typically do as far as your daily routine goes, while this could be the case for the first few weeks, pay close attention to if it remains that way for longer periods of time. This can be tied to short-term memory loss or feeling very disoriented — another telling sign.
4. Early signs of PPD: You are beyond exhausted.
I once read that new parents tend to lose somewhere around three hours of sleep each and every night during the first year of their child’s life (chile) — and yes, that is going to lead to feeling tired, drained…weary even. Oh, but the exhaustion that I’m speaking of here is when you are well past feeling like you are running on fumes.
Depression exhaustion is when your brain is foggy, your focus is off, and you start leaning into feeling like you’re just existing instead of living because that’s just how worn out you are — and when you can’t seem to find relief, no matter how hard you try, that’s when it could teeter into depression if you’re not careful.
5. Early signs of PPD: You're either overly concerned with or totally detached from your child.
If you can’t think about anything but your baby or you don’t really feel much of an attachment at all, both of these can be signs of postpartum depression setting in as well. While science is still trying to figure out if shifts in oxytocin play a role, it is clear that changes in estrogen, progesterone, and within your thyroid can lead to either outcome — and both aren’t what’s ideal when you have a baby.
5 Signs of Full-Blown Postpartum Depression
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To be honest, everything that I just said can be a warning sign or a clear indication that you are in postpartum depression. The reason why I separated them from the ones that we are about to discuss is that if you only have one of what I just said, it may not be depression; however, if you’ve got three or more of them going on, definitely contact your doctor or midwife, just as soon as you possibly can — especially if they are compounded by these too.
1. Signs of PPD: Loss of appetite
When you’re depressed, it can sometimes cause you to not want to do basic things like showering or eating. A part of this may be due to something known as anhedonia, which is basically the ability to enjoy pleasurable things like food. Thing is, though, in order for you to get your strength back and for your baby to receive the nutrients that they need (if you are breastfeeding), you’ve got to eat. Besides, not eating can lower your blood sugar levels and that can impact your moods.
2. Signs of PPD: Insomnia
It probably doesn’t surprise you that, reportedly, 75 percent of people who are depressed struggle with getting a good night’s rest. The hamster wheel that it can put you on is wild, too, because you initially may struggle with sleeping because you are anxious or worrying a lot, which can have your emotions so all over the place to the point that you need sleep to regulate them…which you can’t seem to get because, again, you’re worrying so much.
There’s no way around the fact that a lack of sleep and depression are linked, so if you’re going days without at least getting some naps in, that could be a sign that postpartum depression has set in. (By the way, lemon balm is something that you might want to try if you can’t seem to sleep and you’re looking for an all-natural way to deal with it.)
3. Signs of PPD: Non-stop crying
If you ever get around to reading TIME’s “The Science of Crying,” you’ll get that nothing about crying is black and white. And honestly, if you’re crying from time to time after having a baby, that is completely understandable — encouraged even because it can help to reduce stress and pain; in fact, it’s pretty damn therapeutic.
What you shouldn’t overlook is if you’re experiencing crying spells to the point where it feels like you can’t stop. That can be an indication of depression because what you are expressing is feelings of hopelessness on some level.
4. Signs of PPD: Suicidal ideations
At the top of this year, Healthline published, “People with Perinatal or Postpartum Depression Face Higher Suicide Risk.” Hormones play a role in this. So does suppressing emotions if you feel some sort of guilt or shame for even having those thoughts during such a special time in your life. Then, if you add to the fact that reportedly only 15 percent of women seek professional mental health support for postpartum depression — sometimes it all can become so overwhelming that ending one’s life seems like the only way out. IT’S NOT.
If you’re thinking about suicide, even just a little bit, please speak up. Again, there’s nothing to be ashamed of; you simply need some expert assistance to get you through it.
5. Signs of PPD: Thoughts of hurting your child.
If it gets to the point where you are considering harming your child, that leans into the psychosis level of postpartum. Still, if a woman is going through all of the signs that I just mentioned, simultaneously, imagine how defeated she must feel. Anyway, although this isn’t the most common sign, it is the one that needs immediate professional help.
What Should You Do If You’re Going Through Postpartum Depression
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So, after reading all of this, you definitely sense that you or someone you know has some postpartum depression going on. What should you do? The first thing is what I’ve already mentioned, which is to make an appointment to see your doctor or midwife. Please don’t try, and “Google your way” into a remedy or solution because a medical professional may need to do lab work and mental health screenings to get to the root of what could be causing it. Next, if you are officially diagnosed, get a solid support system around you.
Remember (and it really can’t be said enough), postpartum depression is NOTHING to be embarrassed about or ashamed of. You had a baby, which is a supernatural feat; it may take some time to recover from all that came with doing that — and that is okay. Next, you might want to consider getting a postpartum therapist — and yes, there is such a thing. They can help you to better articulate your feelings and needs, offer proven tips to get you through this particular season, and help you to find therapy treatments that will be most effective for you personally.
All-Natural Remedies for Postpartum Depression
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Please hear me loud and clear when I say that natural remedies for postpartum depression need to be accompanied by a physician’s (or midwife’s) knowledge and care.
The reason why I can’t stress that enough is, again, postpartum depression is nothing to be flippant with or about, and simply thinking that you can take a supplement and call it a day is irresponsible at best. At the same time, though, there are things that can complement whatever your doctor or midwife suggests as you’re on the road to healing from it.
1. Postpartum depression remedies: Get some omega-3s into your system.
Omega-3 fatty acids help to keep your cell membranes in peak condition, and yes, they have been proven to help reduce some of the symptoms that are associated with (postpartum) depression. In fact, some doctors recommend consuming these types of fatty acids throughout your pregnancy in order to reduce the chances of being diagnosed with postpartum depression. There are supplements that are available, and foods like flaxseeds, chia seeds, walnuts, meat from grass-fed animals, and salmon are filled with this particular nutrient, too.
2. Postpartum depression remedies: Consider some postpartum yoga.
Remember how Halle Bailey basically said that she felt disconnected from her body? Something that can help you to “reconnect” is postpartum yoga. Since it’s a form of exercise that decreases stress and anxiety, it’s low-impact, and it can help you to feel better about your body again — all of this works together to get you through postpartum depression.
3. Postpartum depression remedies: Fast from sugar, caffeine, and alcohol.
Sugar, caffeine, and alcohol are all stimulants — the kind that can make you feel energized and then cause you to crash a few hours later. When you have postpartum depression, you’re already on an emotional roller coaster ride, so you need to consume these things in extreme moderation.
Sugar? Studies say that it can actually make depression-related symptoms worse. Caffeine is a bit of a mixed bag; however, if it made you anxious before getting pregnant, you definitely should speak with your doctor before consuming it after pregnancy. Alcohol? It also increases your depression symptoms; plus, it’s potentially addictive.
4. Postpartum depression remedies: Get yourself an accountability partner.
Suffering in silence. A lot of new moms do it, which is why I was so glad that Halle spoke up about what she has currently been going through. When I say that you need an accountability partner (preferably a non-relative if you've got bossy or controlling ones who want to tell you "how things are done"), what I mean is you need someone who will help you to stick to your plans/goals for healing from postpartum depression, while supporting and encouraging you on your low days; you also need someone who will be great at helping you to feel good about yourself again.
Postpartum depression isn’t really something that you can get through (well) alone. Please don’t try to.
5. Postpartum depression remedies: Ramp up the self-care.
LISTEN, if there is ever a time when you shouldn’t feel the least bit guilty about getting (extra) massages, facials, or whatever else makes you feel pampered and beautiful — right after having a baby would be it. In fact, if you are currently pregnant, I recommend that you create a “pamper me budget” for your postnatal care. Why? Well, sometimes, one of the hardest things about adjusting to the new normal of a baby is trying to find the balance between prioritizing them vs. yourself.
When it comes to this final point, you’ve got to always remember that the healthier you are — mind, body, and spirit — the better off your baby will be, and that means that you’ve got to take premium care of your mental health…and yes, self-care via pampering plays a big role in that (check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself”).
Why You Should Consider Hiring a Postpartum Doula
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The way that my particular doula services work is I come into the pregnant mom’s life during the beginning of her third trimester and then stick around for a month following her giving birth to her child. That way, I can monitor any potential signs of postpartum depression, give her partner a break (yes, fathers have needs that shouldn’t be ignored during that time, too), and I can help around the house if the mom is too tired or physically not up to doing things like washing dishes or even changing her baby sometimes.
Although I do this naturally, the technical term for this type of doula is a postpartum doula. And even though we're all given information on how to provide postpartum care during “doula school,” a postpartum doula’s training is focused especially on how to support moms and babies after mom gives birth.
This can include doing all of the things that I already mentioned, as well as offering breastfeeding assistance (because it can sometimes take a minute to figure it out, trust me), running errands, preparing meals, helping out with other members of the family (like the other children) — some postpartum doulas will even spend the night a few nights a week so that the mom can get some quality rest.
Indeed, one of my favorite things about a postpartum doula is that while a baby nurse mostly only focuses on the newborn’s needs, a postpartum doula helps the entire family. Yeah, they are pretty bomb and can be a real godsend on a billion different levels. For information on how to find a doula or postpartum doula, click here. For information on how to become a DONA-certified doula, click here.
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This one was lengthy (even for me — LOL), yet I hope you can see why it needed to be.
Halle, thanks again for bringing this issue to light. I salute you.
Having a baby is miraculous. New moms deserve all of the support that they need once they do it.
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Your July 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Reflection & Reclaiming Your Power
July is a month of reflection, trusting the process, and gathering your resources. July marks the beginning of Retrograde Season, and there is a lot to move through and understand this month. We enter the month in Cancer Season, and emotions are running high. This month is a reminder that when we can take a moment for a pause, reflect on all we have learned, and remain open to what is ahead of us, we can experience true peace today.
On July 4, we have Venus entering Gemini and Neptune going retrograde in Aries. Venus in Gemini brings an interesting dynamic to matters of love and creates an atmosphere of fun, flexibility, and communication in partnerships. Neptune going retrograde in Aries brings a sense of empowerment regarding reflection and contemplation, and guides us to ask ourselves the important questions. This Neptune retrograde is about getting clear on who you are or who you want to be, and about clearing any confusion in that.
July 2025 Astrology Overview
Uranus Enters Gemini
Uranus makes an important transit this month and enters Gemini on July 7 after being in Taurus since 2018. Uranus in Gemini is a wildcard, and anything can happen during this time. With Uranus being the planet of change, upheaval, and breakthrough, and Gemini being the sign of communication, there is a new opening appearing in life, especially regarding creative and business matters.
A few days later, we have a Full Moon in Capricorn, grounding all the energy we have experienced the past month. This Full Moon is about creating space for more security, understanding, and purpose to enter your life, and to own your power in creating your dreams.
Saturn Goes Retrograde, Then Mercury
Saturn goes Retrograde on July 13 until November 27, and Saturn Retrograde brings a push towards growth, but also examines what has been restricting you from doing so. With Saturn currently in Aries, you may be feeling more challenged in standing up for yourself and your beliefs and owning your growth. It’s about reminding yourself how far you have come and knowing that things can get better for you at any moment.
A few days later, we have Mercury going retrograde in Leo, and this Mercury Retrograde is also feeling more personal. It’s about examining how you express yourself and live in your confidence, and overcoming miscommunication with others by showing up exactly as you are authentically.
Leo Season Begins, Chiron Goes Retrograde & Venus Enters Cancer
Leo Season officially begins on July 22, bringing more sunshine after the emotional waters of Cancer Season. Even though we are in Retrograde Season now, with the Sun in Leo, we find the power to overcome even the most trying times. On July 24, we have a New Moon in Leo, making this a powerful New Moon to set intentions for your inner power, creativity, hobbies, self-expression, and where you want to shine in life. Chiron goes retrograde on July 30, and Venus enters Cancer on the same day, and we leave July, entering a new door in love.
One that is more healing and passionate than before. Overall, July is a month of closure and one that is creating the new ground for more purpose, excitement, and love to grow. Keep reading for your Sun, Moon, and rising sign below to see what July has in store for you.
Jump to Your Sign
Aries | Taurus | Gemini | Cancer | Leo | Virgo | Libra | Scorpio | Sagittarius | Capricorn | Aquarius | Pisces
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
A lot of things are brought to your attention this month, Aries. Neptune entered your sign this year for some time to come, and this month Neptune goes retrograde in Aries until the end of October. For you, this means you need some more time to process, understand yourself and your emotional world better, and you are clearing the fog. You are entering Retrograde Season with a deep inner clarity, but also an understanding that your healing doesn’t need to be rushed.
Mid-month, Saturn goes retrograde in Aries until September 1, and it’s important not to be hard on yourself right now. You have a strong urge to transform your life this month, but things may not be happening as quickly with the retrogrades in your sign. On July 30, Chiron also goes retrograde in Aries until 2026, and you end the month in introspection, with the need to take care of your health more. This month is a reminder that you can make plans, but divine timing will always have a say.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
July is a month of closure for you, Taurus. You begin the month with Uranus going retrograde in your 2nd house of income, and it’s a good time to prepare for a rainy day. Uranus is going to be shifting the dynamics in your life when it comes to your financial investments, earnings, and sense of stability, and it’s time to open your mind to what is possible for you and your abundance in life. You are learning to be fearless when it comes to owning your authenticity, and knowing that who you are is unique and worthy of love.
On July 10, we have a Full Moon happening in your 9th house, creating an opportunity for travel plans to follow through, or you just feeling more adventurous in general. Mid-month is about letting go of old belief systems that don’t resonate with your heart, and clearing the way for the new to be built in your life. You end the month with Chiron retrograde in your 12th house of endings, and you are learning through what is transforming in your life.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You are a powerhouse this month, Gemini. This is a month of achievement, success, and growing more deeply into your power. We begin the month with Venus entering your sign from July 4 until July 30, and love is taking you to new heights. This is a good month for making relationship developments, and for being received well. You are growing in your inner confidence and self-love, and this is creating more harmony in your partnerships as well.
One of the most important astrological transits of the year happens for you this month, and that is Uranus entering your sign on July 7, where it will remain until 2033. With Uranus now being in your sign, you are entering a journey of freedom, rebellion, self-expression, breakthrough, and immense change. You are dancing to the beat of your own drum and will be surprising others by how much life changes for you over the next eight or so years. We end the month with Mercury going retrograde in your 3rd house of communication, remember to think things through as you close out the month.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
July is a month of communication, creativity, and self-expression, Cancer. Cancer Season is here for you, and you are moving through the month claiming your power, speaking from the heart, and balancing your needs with others’ needs in your life. The Full Moon of the month on July 10 is your opportunity to let go of anything that has been weighing you down in your close partnerships, and to create room for more stable, committed, and fulfilling love to enter.
On July 24, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be happening in your 2nd house of income, abundance, and self-worth. You are evaluating how you want to show up and ask for what you need, and are preparing for a financial breakthrough. This is a good New Moon to set your intentions for your financial world and to see new ways to create a stronger foundation for yourself here. We end the month with Venus entering your sign from July 30 until August 25, and love feels a little more intense, passionate, and purposeful now.
Your guidance for the month overall is to know that you are the magnet for the things you want in your life, and that you have the power to rise above and claim them.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Joy is what this month is about for you, Leo. You are entering a fulfilling time in your life, where everything comes together for you better than you have ever imagined it to. Mercury goes retrograde in your sign this month from July 18 - August 11, but it’s not stopping you from enjoying your life and living out your truth. You are moving through this Retrograde fearlessly and learning more about yourself in the process.
Leo Season officially begins on July 18, and it’s your time to shine your light, Leo. With the Sun in Leo, you feel like your authentic self is being recognized and loved, and you are healing from a space of feeling like you have to do it all alone. A few days later, we have a Leo New Moon on July 24, and this is the time to set your intentions for your future and for how you want to show up in the world moving forward. July is your month of fulfillment through growth, compassion, and community, and for feeling like you have everything you need.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
July is all about perspective, Virgo. You are getting inspired this month, creating new plans for your life, and owning an adventurous side to yourself. With the Sun in your 11th house of aspirations for most of the month, July is a great time to manifest your dreams and to feel more powerful in creating your reality. Some Virgos could be traveling this month and seeing previous plans through, and you are gaining clarity on a lot of aspects of your life by doing things in a new way right now.
Your ruling planet, Mercury, goes retrograde this month and will be retrograding through an area of your life that has to do with healing, closure, spirituality, and your dream world. Pay attention to the messages you are receiving during this time, because they are guiding you towards your healing and personal empowerment. The New Moon on July 24 will also be highlighting your need to close one chapter of your life and begin another, and you are closing out the month with a new perspective in your heart and soul.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
This is a month of fulfillment for you, Libra. A lot of things are falling into place for you in July, and you are owning your freedom and independence right now. Uranus enters your 9th house of travel at the beginning of the month, and you are entering a new journey in your life where you do things in your own way and when you break free of the status quo. You are growing so much mentally this year, and July is when the work you have done internally is being reflected externally.
On July 10, we have a Full Moon in your 4th house of home, family, stability, and emotional harmony, and you are finding your balance. This is a Full Moon of forgiveness, and one where you are recognizing the power in self-care and taking care of your inner world. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Leo, and you are seeing a breakthrough happen within your friendships, community, and support system. You have some exciting opportunities coming your way this month, and you are living life in your own way and on your own terms.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
July is about protecting your energy, Scorpio. You have been setting your intentions and creating the life you dream of, and it’s important to create boundaries from those who don’t understand your vision or support you right now. With Uranus moving out of your 7th house of love and entering your 8th house of transformation, after changing things up in your relationships for the past eight years, you are ready to break free from old pain, experiences, or uneasiness in love.
Mercury goes retrograde this month on July 18, and will be retrograde in your house of career. This is the time to take a step back, go over your goals, and give life time to catch up to your dreams. The New Moon on July 24 will be activating this same area of your life, and you are getting glimpses of what is possible for you and your sense of success as you end the month. Overall, your main message this month is to not give up on who you are and what you are building towards, and to know that you are on the right path.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
This is a powerful month of growth for you, Sagittarius. You have the Midas Touch, and you are creating abundance in your life. With Venus and Uranus moving into your 7th house of love, partnership, harmony, and wealth, there are a lot of new opportunities coming your way right now. You are someone who is out-of-the-box and does things their own way, and this energy is serving you well right now and making you a magnet for new opportunities to enter your life.
Mid-month, we have a Full Moon in your 2nd house of abundance and self-worth, and you are feeling more appreciation and value in your life. Previous financial intentions and plans are coming to fruition for you now, and you are ready to let go of the self-doubt of it all. At the end of the month, we have a New Moon in fellow fire sign Leo, and this New Moon is asking you to take more creative risks and to trust that you are on the right path, even if it looks different than others. If it feels right for you, it probably is, Sag.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Everything comes to fruition for you this month, Capricorn. July is your month of achievement, closure, and claiming your power, and you are doing so confidently. The Sun is in your house of love and partnership for most of the month, and July creates a space of happiness and commitment within your close relationships. On July 10, we have a Full Moon in Capricorn, and life comes full circle for you. Everything you have been building in your life over the past year is being reflected to you now, and you are feeling a lot of gratitude for where life is today.
Mid-month, your ruling planet Saturn, goes retrograde, and this is shifting the energy in the home. Whatever dynamics that have felt a little shaky for you in the home or with family are being addressed now, and you are learning the importance of healing your inner world and doing the work internally. With a New Moon in your 8th house of transformation to end the month, you are getting a little more vulnerable in July, and it’s surprising others, but even yourself. This is your month of closing one door in your life in peace, and seeing a new one bloom in the process.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
July is about taking things slow and thinking things through, Aquarius. Relationship dynamics in your life could be causing some challenges or confusion, and it’s best to choose your battles wisely right now. With the Sun in your house of health and daily rituals for most of the month, it’s important to take care of your well-being before you try to fix anything else. On July 10, we have a Full Moon in your 12th house of healing, closure, and spirituality, and this is a good time to reflect on everything you want to let go of in your life right now and what you no longer want to carry forward with you into your new beginnings.
Saturn, one of your ruling planets, goes Retrograde in your house of communication this month, and over the next few months, you are going to be learning about the power of your words. Make sure you are only speaking of things you want to bring forth into existence, and be careful with jumping to assumptions right now. Before the month ends, Mercury goes Retrograde in your 7th house of love, and your heart is seeking forgiveness. Know that you can find clarity during this time by being honest with yourself and your heart.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
There is a lot to process this month, and your mind is healing, Pisces. July is your month of overcoming past challenges and letting go of habits and routines that don’t serve you in the long run. Neptune, one of your ruling planets, goes Retrograde this month, and will be bringing your attention to your values and income world during this time. This transit is allowing you to gain clarity on your financial reality, establish greater self-worth and confidence, and get inspired by what is possible for you and your sense of abundance in life.
On July 18, Mercury goes retrograde in your 6th house of health, and you are ready to let go of the daily rituals or working routines that have been limiting your personal growth in some way. It’s time to examine what your body, mind, and soul are asking for right now, and to have the power to let go of what doesn’t resonate with your overall well-being. Before the month ends, Chiron goes retrograde in your 2nd house as well, joining Neptune, and there is a lot of healing to be done this month.
You are being asked to see yourself as a powerful, worthy, and loved being you are, and to know that you deserve to feel good about your life and to feel secure in what you are building for yourself and your future.
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Women Are (Still) Spelling 'Coconut' With Their Hips. And Guys Are Losing Their Damn Minds.
While prepping for a podcast interview a while back, because I received the questions beforehand, I did a bit of research into one of the inquiries: what are men’s current favorite sex positions? I doubt any of you are shocked by the fact that what continued to pop up (like here, here, and here) was doggy style and the cowgirl position (i.e., when a woman is on top).
When it comes to ridin’, specifically, that got me to thinking about something that was all over the internet a few years ago: women who were advising that you spell “coconut” with your hips, during sex, in order for you and your partner to receive maximum pleasure and satisfaction.
When I asked a few women I know if they ever tried that before, I was surprised to discover that not only had they, but many didn’t treat it as some random social media fad — they actually still do it to this day. Partly, because it’s fun to them and partly because their partner(s) seem to go crazy for it.
Listen, any time something sexual works like a charm, I’m going to shout it out — (late) trend or not. And so, if you’ve never heard of the whole coconut thing, you tried it and forgot all about it, or you just want to try something new/different/else tonight — here’s a reminder, in article form, that coconut-ting is still alive and well, y’all. And the men are all about it!
But First, The Grapefruit Technique
Video Credit: Myem/YouTube (Funny part starts at 2:40)
If this woman is not familiar to you on sight, you ain’t a real one. LOL. Although I know that a lot of people think that the concept of grapefruiting came from the movie Girls Trip (you can see the clip from the film here) that absolutely is not the case. Auntie Angel (whose real name is reportedly Denise Walker) is the creator of the Grapefruit Technique and although I thought that this video came out way earlier, apparently it made its way onto the YouTube streets sometime back in 2014.
If for some reason, you’re not familiar with grapefruiting on any level, I will tell you right now that I had to download this video because it is absolutely NSFW — so you should probably watch it on your lunch break (on your phone with the volume as low as possible) or at home…because chile, the sound effects? Whew, the sound effects. LOL. However, when I sat down to pen this piece, I thought it was hilarious that this video is what immediately came to mind because it seems like, when it comes to “blow his mind sex hacks,” fruit is constantly on the menu.
When it comes to oral sex, it’s grapefruit.
When it comes to ride ‘em cowgirl, it’s a coconut.
What Is the “Coconut” Sex Trend?
@windy_moraba #duet with @mysteri0us.gir1 spell coconut with your waist 😂😂😂
Okay, so what in the world does a coconut have to do with intercourse? Well, for starters, if you and your partner are looking for an all-natural lubricant, coconut oil works well. HOWEVER, do keep in mind that the disclaimer on this is you shouldn’t use it if condoms are in the mix because they can actually cause rubbers to be less effective (silicone lube is a solid bet for condoms, by the way).
There is another way that coconuts are kinda-sorta incorporated when it comes to making sex more pleasurable — and it actually became pretty popular right after COVID lockdown (2021): spelling C-O-C-O-N-U-T with your hips while you’re on top of your partner.
It’s wild how I forgot all about this until a client of mine was telling me how much her husband liked her on top while it wasn’t her favorite thing to do because it felt awkward to her. When I said, “Have you ever heard of spelling ‘coconut’ with your hips before?” — at first, she looked at me like I was crazy and then she busted out laughing: “Girl, no” was her reply.
Hmph. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it because, as wild as it might sound on the surface, the word isn’t the point so much as the movements that come with spelling it out are.
When you’re moving your pelvis around to make a “c,” “o” or U-turn, not only does it intensify the level of sensation that both you and your partner feel during intercourse, it can also increase the level of blood circulation to both of your genitalia which can make your orgasms more satisfying too.
At the end of the day, spelling “coconut” is simply reminding you that there are more options to riding than simply sitting there while your partner pumps for all he’s worth or you humping up and down like you’re on a pogo stick.
Spelling “coconut” is an easy hack to bring some variety into cowgirling. However…
Honestly, the “Fruit” Isn’t the Point. THIS IS.
From grapefruiting and spelling “coconut” to reading articles that I’ve penned for the platform like “How To Improve The Taste Of Sperm” — fruit and sex are always going to be a winning combination, one way or another. However, the main point of this article isn’t about making sure that you are a master speller so much as providing you with tips that will make the cowgirl position something that you are confident about and you find a ton of fulfillment in doing.
You can make both of these things happen by incorporating the following things:
Stretch beforehand. A charley horse during sex is the worst thing ever — and chile, don’t let it be right before you’re about to climax. SMDH. Yeah, if you want to feel more comfortable when you’re on top, make sure that you stretch beforehand and that you are well-hydrated. That will reduce the chances of experiencing a totally-out-of-nowhere muscle spasm — whether you decide to “spell” during sex or…not.
Bring pillows into the mix. Sometimes riding is a challenge because your partner feels farther away from your body than you would like. Putting a pillow underneath him can help to elevate his pelvis, so that you don’t feel like you’re stretching and straining. Speaking of pillows, a longer one can really come in handy because it can give your knees some additional support as well.
Also, ask him to put his knees up. Speaking of making the “grind” easier for you, ask your partner to put his knees up. That way, your back can recline on his legs as you’re moving your hips around. You’d be amazed how much this one hack can do for you. Straight up.
Add lube. When you get a chance, check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant” and you will automatically see why bringing lubrication into a cowgirl session is an absolute must. It reduces friction. It makes your movements glide with ease. And it’s just more fun. Promise you that.
Lean in. If your partner happens to be on the larger side of life, one way that you can control his depth is by leaning forward into him. That way, your hips can better control how much or little he is inside of you, so that you can get into a position that gives you the sensation that you are looking for.
Get him to multitask. Again, whether you are spelling “coconut” or not and whether you are riding cowgirl or reverse cowgirl — something that is awesome about being on top is it frees your partner’s hands to do, umm, other things. And since it is so much easier to have an orgasm while your clitoris is being stimulated, get your partner to put some of the lube that we discussed earlier on his fingertips, so that he can gently rub on your clitoris while you are riding him. It doesn’t get much better than that!
Don’t wanna spell? Hula Hoop then. What if you try the whole coconut thing and it’s not a favorite for you (or him)? No problem — when’s the last time that you hula hooped? Pretend that you have one of those around your hips and move around that way. I’d be shocked if you ended up feeling “meh” about that option.
5 Guys Tell Me What They Love When Their Partner Is on Top
A part of the reason why I am “team cowgirl” is because it provides a lot of benefits to the woman: she has more control, it tends to be more comfortable for her, it’s a great position for a quickie and the orgasms tend to be that much more — wonderful. However, as I was thinking about spelling coconut, in general, I couldn’t help but wonder what guys thought about it and the cowgirl position overall.
If you’re curious, here’s what five of ‘em said.
1. Braxford. Engaged. 35. “Y’all be spelling up there? Who knew? My favorite thing about when my fiancée is on top is what I think every man likes: the view. It’s a chance to see her entire body and experience it at the same time. Not even doggy style accomplishes that. Damn, where’s my lady at?”
2. Denez. Single. 42. “Do you know how many ‘spots’ you have access to when y’all are on top? Breasts are in my mouth. Hickeys are on her neck. Prop my head up on a pillow and her tummy is getting licked. When a woman is riding you, it’s sensory overload! It’s crazy how each one looks amazing in that position too.”
3. Omar. In a Serious Relationship. 29. “[He said her name yet I’m not going to share it] isn’t a very vocal lover. Her body and technique are insane, so even though I love dirty talk, I’ve learned to compromise — except when she’s on top. She’s not saying much but those moans? And yeah, we tried the coconut thing. ‘Cs’ and ‘Os,’ hell yeah. ‘Ns’ and “Ts’? Nah.”
4. Nolen. Single. 45. “45 isn’t old but it’s old enough for your back to show out on you when you least expect it. My experience has been that women don’t want a lot of thrusting when they are on top, so it’s like having some of the best sex without having to do much at all. Well, aside from trying not to bust too quickly. I take that back: riding is easy on the body; it’s work on the brain.”
5. Ivan. Married. 37. “I like the spelling sh-t because it switches things up. We make a game out of it by her picking a word and spelling out while I try and guess what it is. We also try to see how many words that we can get to before one of us cums. 12 words is pushing it unless it’s like ‘dog’ or ‘cat’ or something. I’ve guessed ‘coconut’ a few times and I get what the excitement is all about. Spelling bee sex: try it.”
Yep. I concur.
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