“I need to be able to be myself at all times," Jason Derulo confesses to me.
He leans back against the white-cushioned cabana couches facing out towards the pool of his California abode, dark eyes intent as if daring me to question his reasoning. “And if I'm drunk or faded in the studio…"
“You might record some drunk faded in the studio shit," I finish for him.
“Yeah, exactly," he says with a boyish grin. “And then I might say some shit I would've never said. The truth serum, that shit is a motherfucker."
He's talking about “Naked," his latest R&B single where the crooner strips down D'Angelo style while an equally bare K. Michelle prances around in stilettos and little else. The label told him it would be catastrophic for his career. A handful of the 4,800 commentators under his video—currently reaching beyond two million views—would probably agree.
“This is not about selling records. This is not about trying to make people think that I'm somebody else that I'm not; it's literally about me spreading my wings creatively. I'm going to do me regardless," he says defiantly.
It's not the first time that an artist feeling confined by how the industry has defined him has opted for creative freedom over record sales. To his millions of fans, he's Jason Derulo the pop star, whose 2009 debut single “Whatcha Say" went platinum followed by two handfuls of best-selling songs. Over the last few years we've watched Derulo moonwalk his way to the top of the Billboard charts with hits such as “Want to Want Me" and “Wiggle" featuring Snoop Dogg, but according to the 26-year-old, we've hardly even scratched the surface of who he is as an artist or even a man.
“This is not about trying to make people think that I'm somebody else that I'm not."
Growing up, the Haitian-American got his start by penning records for urban and pop artists such as Pitbull, Lil Wayne, and Diddy at 16 years old. Though he hailed from the hoods of Carol City, he made it his mission to escape the lifestyle that had many of his family members fell victim to. Derulo found that he could touch a larger audience through pop music, and before the age of 22 would go on to tour as an opening act for Lady Gaga, drop records with Demi Lovato, and continuously peak on the Billboard charts.
“I used to tell my mom, 'yeah, I don't need to learn how to do that. I'm going to have somebody do that for me,'" he laughs as a small staff waits in the distance, ready to assist him at a moment's notice.
On his latest mixtape, the Miami native promises to give us a peek into the real Jason, the one who lights up in studios to release what's really on his mental, like slipping phones off of groupies before they can sell a photo to TMZ or that one line in “Naked" where he sings “the only time I need the sparks is when I light up my spliffs." No shade to Jordin Sparks. “You think that's shade? I say some other shit they're really going to think is shade."
Derulo stares off into the distance with a look that I've seen often in interviews whenever the mention of his ex comes into the conversation. Sadness. Pain. Perhaps a little annoyance at the fact that almost two years later he's still talking about the end of their three-year relationship to the press. I don't even have to say her name before the words start tumbling out.
“Things could've been different had different choices been made from her side. I felt some kind of way because the world thought it was my fault, and I broke up with her. So they kind of fucked with me only from that perspective. I was really disappointed in her and how she handled it because she made people believe that it was my fault. Like Wendy Williams asked her 'so we heard that he cheated, is that why you guys broke up?' and she says, 'No comment.' Like what the fuck you mean no comment?!"
“I was really disappointed in her and how she handled it because she made people believe that it was my fault."
Jason Derulo and new girlfriend Daphne Joy
Jason swears that there was no foul play on his end, and if you ask him, they broke up because of her for reasons he's choosing to keep private. In previous interviews, he's hinted at the pressures of marriage as being the catalyst to their arguments and ultimate dissolution. “I thought that I could change her through the course of time, and I couldn't. I realized that I felt better off when I was by myself," he says, running his hand through his twisted Mohawk.
Though it's been almost two years, Derulo is still carrying around the baggage of his breakup and bears the scars of his past relationship—hard to imagine considering the last few months he's been photographed with girlfriend and model Daphne Joy. Just moments before our interview she glided down the red-carpeted stairs of his 1920s castle-style home in a skintight tan dress hugging her famed curves.
“I realize that myself is important, too," he continues. “I watched how my dad was good with my mom because he always put her first, so I always try to be like that—to my own detriment, though, because I just was going in too hard and forgot about my own wellbeing. I learned that I got to also keep myself in mind as well."
"I just was going in too hard and forgot about my own wellbeing. I learned that I got to also keep myself in mind as well."
He's saving the particulars for his untitled mixtape that he promises will be unapologetically honest. But while there may be some allusion to his love life, don't expect him to divulge too many details about previous lovers. “I don't feel the need to explain what happened or what she did, so I don't do that on the mixtape either."
What he is doing is giving his fans another side of him as an artist that's often not captured on camera, whether they like it or not. “It's an all-around explanation of what my life is like. It's not just love, it's from a place of truth," he says. “I think that some people may be a little scared of the honesty."
One thing's for sure, Derulo isn't the same guy who danced his way to number one records. He's a little rawer—more real—and he's getting naked for the world to see.
Check out the official video for "Naked" ft. K. Michelle and exclusive photos of Jason Derulo's L.A. home below!
Featured image by Joseph Okpako/Getty Images
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Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
GiphyIf you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
GiphyThere is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
GiphySomething that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
GiphyEven if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
GiphyI saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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