

It's kinda crazy how, every year, many of us will tell ourselves that we won't overspend on the holidays the next year—only to turn around and rinse and repeat. Well, after a year like 2020 (whew chile), if there was ever a time when counting our pennies and making them stretch mattered, this would have to be it.
I know we're down to the wire when it comes to just how close we are to Christmas. Still, believe it or not, you can save a good little chunk of change leading into it. All you've got to do is apply at least 3-5 of the money-saving hacks that I'm about to share and you could find yourself easily pocketing $500 by December 25th. No joke.
1. Get a Side Gig
Back before Upwork decided to up and charge folks (aside from the huge percentage that they already take out of the gigs that you get on their site), I made some pretty good extra money on their site. It was cool to know that if I had a bill coming up, I could pitch my portfolio to a client who was in need of some last-minute work and get paid by the end of the week. While more times than not, the money wasn't super mind-blowing, it was steady and I could easily make $750-1000 a month. So yeah, out of all of the tips that I'm about to share on how to accumulate $500 over the next few weeks, probably the most obvious one is to consider getting a part-time job or getting in some contract work between now and ho-ho-ho day. If you need a little bit of inspiration, Millennial Money Man has 40 side hustle ideas. You can check out the list here.
2. Budget
I remember once reading an article that stated fewer people are budgeting, even though they know that they should. And boy oh boy, should they. When it comes to this year specifically, if you take the pandemic, job losses, evictions, food shortages and the mass amount of folks who don't have any type of health insurance, those are reasons enough to be intentional about counting every coin—about making sure that you hold every penny accountable.
Back when I didn't budget at all, man, it really was a trip, just how much money I wasted. It was nothing to go into a store, thinking that I was going to spend ten bucks, only to end up spending 75 of 'em. That's because, when you're not paying attention to how you're using your money, you really can throw a lot of it down the drain on things that are, at the end of the day, pretty inconsequential. So yeah, if you want to keep a little more money in your pocket this Christmas, the first thing you should do is put a budget together. And listen, don't think that you've got to spend every coin once you've decided where it should go either. At least until the new year rolls around, consider only getting the things that you absolutely need while putting the rest into a savings account. Trust me, the "wants" will still be there in 2021. Get them when you can better afford them. Oh, and if you'd like to check out a few budgeting apps, you can do so right here.
3. Use Your Debit Card
This money-saving hack is one that I used to really underestimate yet trust me, when you apply it, it really does work. Instead of pulling cash out from an ATM, commit to using your debit card (not your credit card; if you wanna save money, you might wanna scale back using it too) instead. The reason why I say this is because, if you pull out $20, it's a lot easier to spend all of it rather than if you use your card, so that it only takes out the exact cost of the purchase. If you apply this tip to the budget point that I just made, you can end up saving, at least a $100-200 easily each month.
4. Get Generic Brands
Did you know that you can easily save 20-30 percent of the money that you currently spend by opting to purchase generic brands of items? What are some examples? Canned foods. Cleaning products. Vitamins. Pet food. Shampoo, soap, and lotion. Baby formula (lawd, baby formula is high!). Bottled water. Baking supplies. Cereal. Gas.
For instance, say that you spend $150 every week at the grocery store. If you go the generic route on everything that I just mentioned, you could easily pocket $45. 45 times 4 weeks is 180 and 180 times 2 months is 360. $360 saved. See how easy that was?
5. Nix the Netflix
Netflix is like entertainment crack for a lot of folks. And just like a crack dealer, once it had subscribers good and hooked, they decided to increase the price. From what I've read, the standard plan is now $14 a month while the premium tiers are now $18. Cutting Netflix out altogether (at least for a little while) could give you $28-36 back. Hey, it might not seem like much but that will be an extra $50-60 dollars that you'll have to play with by the end of December.
While we're on this topic, if you've got a cable plan, temporarily disconnecting it could probably get you super close to $500 in two months too. My cable/internet package is $150 before taxes; taxes puts it at around $170. $170 times 2 is $340. Trust me, I have this conversation with myself, at least once a month (le sigh).
6. Skip the Nail Salon
I know a lot of folks are out here acting like we're not still in a pandemic (we are by the way) and so they're out here wilin' on the going out tip. That said, I personally don't think that there's anything wrong with getting your hair or nails done, so long as the salon that you go to follows proper COVID-19 protocol (appointment-setting to cut down on traffic, mask-wearing, etc.). What I will personally say is used to be an avid nail salon person. I would get powder put on my natural nails and then, there's no telling what kind of design I would get, every other week. That bill would easily be somewhere between $50-80 a pop. Then, if you added my pedicure into the mix, that was another $40 (before a tip). Now, since I'm not out in these streets, I've kept my nails alone and I only get a pedicure once a month. That's $100-160 back into my pocket. You might not wanna apply this personal saving hack, but it's just something to think about (check out "Uh, About That Salon Manicure. How To Treat Your Nails While You're Stuck At Home.").
7. Use Coupons
It's when I actually use coupons that I find myself mad-and-some-more-mad that I don't use them more often. Coupons at the grocery store have easily saved me $25 or so every visit and promo codes (like the ones on RetailMeNot's website)? Whew, don't even get me started on those. I actually read that, by using coupons regularly, we save ourselves $30-50 each week. 50 times 4 is 200. 200 times 2 is 400. $400. Just sayin'.
8. Don’t Eat Out (or Order Takeout)
I don't know about y'all, but I've had my fair share of takeout during this year. Something that comes into my mind, at least every fifth order, is an article I read about the fact that the average American spends a whopping $3,000 each year on going to restaurants or ordering food delivery. Three thousand bucks, y'all.
So, you already know what I'm gonna say. If you order takeout pretty frequently, you can easily save—looka here—$250 a month but opting to cook for yourself instead. It might be less convenient, but it can sho 'nuf put some real dollars into your pocket if you do it.
9. Fast from Alcohol
I think all of us enjoy a tall glass of something, every once in a while. At the same time, trips to the liquor store ain't all that cheap either. Why the site The Thrillist decided to go with Smirnoff and Grey Goose as the bottles they wanted to share the prices for across the country is beyond me, I'll just say that in my state, a bottle of Smirnoff is reportedly $11.09 per bottle while a bottle of Grey Goose is $25.39. As you can see, drinking can pull up quite a tab. So, if you're just at the point of clearing $400-450 or so, not purchasing alcohol until New Year's Eve is another way to reach your $500 goal.
10. Don’t Forget About the Sex Jar
A couple of years ago, I wrote the article, "5 Reasons Why Every Married Couple Needs A Sex Jar" and I still firmly stand by it. If you're skimming this article and don't have time to click on links, the gist is, that every time you have sex with your partner, you put money into a jar. Then, at the end of every 3, 6, 9, or 12 months (the longer you wait, the better), you count up your collection and spend it on something that you both will enjoy. The real catch about this extremely fun money-saving approach is, the amount of coins that you collect is totally up to 1) how much sex you have and 2) how much money you put in. Yet just think—if you had sex, every day, from 11/15 until 12/20 and you each put two dollars into the jar, that's $100 right there. A series of orgasms and some extra money to spend on Christmas! Just something to think about, sis. #wink
Featured image by Shutterstock
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'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Women Are (Still) Spelling 'Coconut' With Their Hips. And Guys Are Losing Their Damn Minds.
While prepping for a podcast interview a while back, because I received the questions beforehand, I did a bit of research into one of the inquiries: what are men’s current favorite sex positions? I doubt any of you are shocked by the fact that what continued to pop up (like here, here, and here) was doggy style and the cowgirl position (i.e., when a woman is on top).
When it comes to ridin’, specifically, that got me to thinking about something that was all over the internet a few years ago: women who were advising that you spell “coconut” with your hips, during sex, in order for you and your partner to receive maximum pleasure and satisfaction.
When I asked a few women I know if they ever tried that before, I was surprised to discover that not only had they, but many didn’t treat it as some random social media fad — they actually still do it to this day. Partly, because it’s fun to them and partly because their partner(s) seem to go crazy for it.
Listen, any time something sexual works like a charm, I’m going to shout it out — (late) trend or not. And so, if you’ve never heard of the whole coconut thing, you tried it and forgot all about it, or you just want to try something new/different/else tonight — here’s a reminder, in article form, that coconut-ting is still alive and well, y’all. And the men are all about it!
But First, The Grapefruit Technique
Video Credit: Myem/YouTube (Funny part starts at 2:40)
If this woman is not familiar to you on sight, you ain’t a real one. LOL. Although I know that a lot of people think that the concept of grapefruiting came from the movie Girls Trip (you can see the clip from the film here) that absolutely is not the case. Auntie Angel (whose real name is reportedly Denise Walker) is the creator of the Grapefruit Technique and although I thought that this video came out way earlier, apparently it made its way onto the YouTube streets sometime back in 2014.
If for some reason, you’re not familiar with grapefruiting on any level, I will tell you right now that I had to download this video because it is absolutely NSFW — so you should probably watch it on your lunch break (on your phone with the volume as low as possible) or at home…because chile, the sound effects? Whew, the sound effects. LOL. However, when I sat down to pen this piece, I thought it was hilarious that this video is what immediately came to mind because it seems like, when it comes to “blow his mind sex hacks,” fruit is constantly on the menu.
When it comes to oral sex, it’s grapefruit.
When it comes to ride ‘em cowgirl, it’s a coconut.
What Is the “Coconut” Sex Trend?
@windy_moraba #duet with @mysteri0us.gir1 spell coconut with your waist 😂😂😂
Okay, so what in the world does a coconut have to do with intercourse? Well, for starters, if you and your partner are looking for an all-natural lubricant, coconut oil works well. HOWEVER, do keep in mind that the disclaimer on this is you shouldn’t use it if condoms are in the mix because they can actually cause rubbers to be less effective (silicone lube is a solid bet for condoms, by the way).
There is another way that coconuts are kinda-sorta incorporated when it comes to making sex more pleasurable — and it actually became pretty popular right after COVID lockdown (2021): spelling C-O-C-O-N-U-T with your hips while you’re on top of your partner.
It’s wild how I forgot all about this until a client of mine was telling me how much her husband liked her on top while it wasn’t her favorite thing to do because it felt awkward to her. When I said, “Have you ever heard of spelling ‘coconut’ with your hips before?” — at first, she looked at me like I was crazy and then she busted out laughing: “Girl, no” was her reply.
Hmph. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it because, as wild as it might sound on the surface, the word isn’t the point so much as the movements that come with spelling it out are.
When you’re moving your pelvis around to make a “c,” “o” or U-turn, not only does it intensify the level of sensation that both you and your partner feel during intercourse, it can also increase the level of blood circulation to both of your genitalia which can make your orgasms more satisfying too.
At the end of the day, spelling “coconut” is simply reminding you that there are more options to riding than simply sitting there while your partner pumps for all he’s worth or you humping up and down like you’re on a pogo stick.
Spelling “coconut” is an easy hack to bring some variety into cowgirling. However…
Honestly, the “Fruit” Isn’t the Point. THIS IS.
From grapefruiting and spelling “coconut” to reading articles that I’ve penned for the platform like “How To Improve The Taste Of Sperm” — fruit and sex are always going to be a winning combination, one way or another. However, the main point of this article isn’t about making sure that you are a master speller so much as providing you with tips that will make the cowgirl position something that you are confident about and you find a ton of fulfillment in doing.
You can make both of these things happen by incorporating the following things:
Stretch beforehand. A charley horse during sex is the worst thing ever — and chile, don’t let it be right before you’re about to climax. SMDH. Yeah, if you want to feel more comfortable when you’re on top, make sure that you stretch beforehand and that you are well-hydrated. That will reduce the chances of experiencing a totally-out-of-nowhere muscle spasm — whether you decide to “spell” during sex or…not.
Bring pillows into the mix. Sometimes riding is a challenge because your partner feels farther away from your body than you would like. Putting a pillow underneath him can help to elevate his pelvis, so that you don’t feel like you’re stretching and straining. Speaking of pillows, a longer one can really come in handy because it can give your knees some additional support as well.
Also, ask him to put his knees up. Speaking of making the “grind” easier for you, ask your partner to put his knees up. That way, your back can recline on his legs as you’re moving your hips around. You’d be amazed how much this one hack can do for you. Straight up.
Add lube. When you get a chance, check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant” and you will automatically see why bringing lubrication into a cowgirl session is an absolute must. It reduces friction. It makes your movements glide with ease. And it’s just more fun. Promise you that.
Lean in. If your partner happens to be on the larger side of life, one way that you can control his depth is by leaning forward into him. That way, your hips can better control how much or little he is inside of you, so that you can get into a position that gives you the sensation that you are looking for.
Get him to multitask. Again, whether you are spelling “coconut” or not and whether you are riding cowgirl or reverse cowgirl — something that is awesome about being on top is it frees your partner’s hands to do, umm, other things. And since it is so much easier to have an orgasm while your clitoris is being stimulated, get your partner to put some of the lube that we discussed earlier on his fingertips, so that he can gently rub on your clitoris while you are riding him. It doesn’t get much better than that!
Don’t wanna spell? Hula Hoop then. What if you try the whole coconut thing and it’s not a favorite for you (or him)? No problem — when’s the last time that you hula hooped? Pretend that you have one of those around your hips and move around that way. I’d be shocked if you ended up feeling “meh” about that option.
5 Guys Tell Me What They Love When Their Partner Is on Top
A part of the reason why I am “team cowgirl” is because it provides a lot of benefits to the woman: she has more control, it tends to be more comfortable for her, it’s a great position for a quickie and the orgasms tend to be that much more — wonderful. However, as I was thinking about spelling coconut, in general, I couldn’t help but wonder what guys thought about it and the cowgirl position overall.
If you’re curious, here’s what five of ‘em said.
1. Braxford. Engaged. 35. “Y’all be spelling up there? Who knew? My favorite thing about when my fiancée is on top is what I think every man likes: the view. It’s a chance to see her entire body and experience it at the same time. Not even doggy style accomplishes that. Damn, where’s my lady at?”
2. Denez. Single. 42. “Do you know how many ‘spots’ you have access to when y’all are on top? Breasts are in my mouth. Hickeys are on her neck. Prop my head up on a pillow and her tummy is getting licked. When a woman is riding you, it’s sensory overload! It’s crazy how each one looks amazing in that position too.”
3. Omar. In a Serious Relationship. 29. “[He said her name yet I’m not going to share it] isn’t a very vocal lover. Her body and technique are insane, so even though I love dirty talk, I’ve learned to compromise — except when she’s on top. She’s not saying much but those moans? And yeah, we tried the coconut thing. ‘Cs’ and ‘Os,’ hell yeah. ‘Ns’ and “Ts’? Nah.”
4. Nolen. Single. 45. “45 isn’t old but it’s old enough for your back to show out on you when you least expect it. My experience has been that women don’t want a lot of thrusting when they are on top, so it’s like having some of the best sex without having to do much at all. Well, aside from trying not to bust too quickly. I take that back: riding is easy on the body; it’s work on the brain.”
5. Ivan. Married. 37. “I like the spelling sh-t because it switches things up. We make a game out of it by her picking a word and spelling out while I try and guess what it is. We also try to see how many words that we can get to before one of us cums. 12 words is pushing it unless it’s like ‘dog’ or ‘cat’ or something. I’ve guessed ‘coconut’ a few times and I get what the excitement is all about. Spelling bee sex: try it.”
Yep. I concur.
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