

Doula Brandi Sellerz-Jackson Says Motherhood Helped Her Birth Her "Why"
In xoNecole's series Mother/Hustler, we sit down with influential mom bosses who open up about the ups and downs of motherhood, as well as how they kill it in their respective industries, all while keeping their sanity and being intentional about self-care.
Not long before Mother/Hustler Brandi Sellerz-Jackson started her business in 2016, she miscarried a child and felt placed between a rock and a hard place emotionally. Months later, even after Brandi and her husband became pregnant with their rainbow baby, Jedi, the now 37-year-old mom was still grieving the baby she lost only a year earlier and felt more isolated than ever. It wasn't long before Brandi recognized that she was not alone in her loneliness, and since there were few safe spaces for women to talk about these traumas, she decided to create one.
Not So Private Parts is an online community that was created for women like Brandi, who feel like they have faced some of the hardest trials in life by themselves, to feel connected to a community who can sincerely relate. Since the birth of her sons Jax and Jedi, as well as the most recent addition to her family, Jupiter, Brandi says that she feels impregnated with more insight than ever before.
"Motherhood has not only given me my 'why', but I believe it's birthed even more creativity."
As a blogger, wife, and mother of three, Brandi says that bossing up isn't easy, but boy, is it a blessing for her kids to see her sign her own checks. "I am always thinking of ways that I can create pathways for not just my children, but my grandchildren, and my grandchildren's children. How can I make the road easier for the generations to follow?"
For Brandi, being a mogul mommy with a vision means keeping promises to yourself, even if that just means intentionally setting an earlier bedtime, or updating her calendar. Although this Mother/Hustler spends much of her time birthing babies, she also makes time to create space for her own dreams to grow in a healthy environment. She explained, "Do what you can to get [things] done. Keep a calendar and all the reminders set. Relinquish. Take care of yourself first, so that you can better take care of others."
Here's how Brandi balances being a mother-of-three and professional miracle worker, all while minding her self-care at the same damn time:
What’s your occupation?
"I am a Birth and Postpartum Doula and the creator of the women's online platform, Not So Private Parts. I am also the co-founder of Moms In Color, a collective created for and by Black moms to celebrate diversity within the motherhood community. I am a creative. I create pathways."
Are you single?
"No, my husband and I have been together for 18 years and married for 14 years in November."
How do you handle moments when you feel overwhelmed?
"I first take a breath and ask myself, what is it that I need? I do a mental checklist of sorts: am I hungry? Am I exhausted? Have I overextended myself? Am I staying hydrated? Do I need to step away and put on the oxygen?"
What’s the hardest part of your day?
"The hardest part of the day are mostly evenings. I think for most parents, evenings/bedtime can be quite the struggle. By this time, kids are tired and beyond exhausted from their own day. After all, they are little humans. They are processing their own stuff as well. Oftentimes, they have no clue that they are tired. It's a lot."
How (and how often) do you practice self-care?
"I try my hardest to practice self-care before I become overextended or in need of it. Keyword… TRY. For me, sometimes self-care looks like going to the Korean Spa and taking a soak. Sometimes, it looks like me preparing an amazing dish, just for me. Other times, self-care looks like me intentionally going to bed early. Self-care is all about listening and responding to your body's needs."
What is your advice for dealing with mom guilt?
"Let go of it. We are all doing the best that we can. We are all hopefully attempting to raise thriving, kind, and aware humans. There is no place for judgment either for self or for others."
What is your favorite way to spend “me time”?
"Because I have THREE BOYS, one can imagine that our home is pretty loud. When I need "me time" it usually involves some level of quiet. I love to sit in complete silence and just gather my thoughts. Put pen to paper. Breathe."
What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned as an entrepreneur?
"Go for it. There is space for that idea that keeps you up at night. Most importantly, there is a need. People are waiting for your vision to manifest. They need your vision to manifest."
"Go for it. There is space for that idea that keeps you up at night. Most importantly, there is a need. People are waiting for your vision to manifest. They need your vision to manifest."
Why was it important to you to be an entrepreneur even though some people may think that a 9-5 offers more stability?
"This is for our kids! All of it! We truly believe that if our kids grow up seeing parents happy and thriving (in whatever space) it will benefit them in the long run. Now, don't get it twisted. I get it, I understand. Having a solid 9-5 is amazing. The stability is amazing. It's just a matter of what feels best and/or brings you the most peace."
What is the biggest challenge you’ve faced as a mom who runs a business?
"Balancing and finding time for it all can be challenging. There are days where I am super productive, and then there are days when I have to relinquish. All of this is ok."
What is the most important lesson you want your kid(s) to learn from you?
"I want my kids to know that they are capable of anything. That they are important, needed, and purposed for this great big world. I want them to continue to see my husband and I living out our dreams so that they know that they can do it too."
Do you think it’s important to keep your personal and professional life separate? Why or why not?
"It depends. When I am supporting mothers during birth or postpartum, I try to leave my own experiences out of it because each journey is different. However, there are times where a client will want to know my journey in hopes to better navigate their own. In this case, I may share. It really depends on what feels most beneficial in the moment and on a case by case basis. Also, I am in the 'sharing' business. When creating, there are levels of being private. It just depends."
What tips do you have for financial planning, both professionally and for your family?
"Budget, budget, budget. Vision board or simply write down your financial goals. Whatever it looks like, keep the goal front and center."
If you're ever in Cali and need help birthing a baby or just want to connect with a community of dope moms, make sure to check out NotSoPrivateParts.life, and you can keep up with Brandi on Instagram by following @bstereo!
Featured image by @bstereo.
Originally published July 28, 2019
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Your Guide To Vacay Looks Serving Luxe Resort Wear Energy All Summer Long
Planning a getaway? Well, it’s finally that season! Tis the season of wearing less and going out more; for mini skirts, knitted tanks, sheer everything; for fun in the sun, and everything in between.
From quiet luxury to neon monochromatic and everything in between, it can be difficult to nail down the ultimate resort wear style. So many trends, so little time.
With the ushering in of warmer weather comes a similar sentiment of light layers and colorful palettes. To help inspire your forthcoming vacay looks, we tracked down our favorite traveling ladies and dove into all things resort wear for 2023.
Achieng
@noordinarynoire
Courtesy of Achieng @noordinarynoire
Credit: Jon Navas @itsjdn
Q: How would you describe your vacation style?
A: My vacation style is clothing that feels like a second skin, clothing that is airy and light and just falls so effortlessly on the body. Satin slips, silk two-piece sets, crochet and mesh pieces, kaftans, and headwraps [are] where it is at! I also lean mostly towards bright jewel tones because how are you going to really live your best vacation life in a world that is not vibrant?
Q: What three items are you adding to your resort wardrobe this year?
A: 1.) 100000% a statement bag! Really loving the versatility of colorful straw totes or statement bags from Cult Gaia! 2.) A cute gold hoop that can take a simple outfit from 0 to 100! And finally, 3.) a little black dress that I can dress up or down on any vacation I go to!
Q: What's the biggest resort wear trend you're looking forward to in 2023?
A: One trend that I expect to be popular in 2023 resort wear is definitely vibrant and bold airy knits and crochet pieces. We have seen brands such as Cult Gaia, Simon Miller, and Hanifa really kill it on that end. Another trend that is expected to be big in 2023 is the use of sustainable and eco-friendly materials in resort wear. Consumers are becoming increasingly conscious [of] the impact of fashion on the environment, and many designers are responding by creating resort wear collections that are made from recycled materials or materials that have a lower environmental impact.
Q: Favorite resort wear brand or place to shop?
A: Fe Noel and Cult Gaia and Shopbop for all the fabulous accessories!
Q: If you can only pack one item on vacation, what is it?
A: Sunscreen, 'cause honeyyyyyy this skin has to be protected!
Ebony
@fashioncrave
Courtesy of Ebony @fashioncrave
Credit: Luna @womaninmotion
Q: How would you describe your vacation style?
A: My vacation style is a mixture of pops of vibrant colors, flowy, lightweight fabrics like linen, silk, chiffon, wide-leg pants, exaggerated sleeves, maxi dresses, and detailed accessories.
Q: What are three items you're adding to your resort wardrobe this year?
A: I am most definitely adding corsets/bustiers, exotic floral prints, and [I] can’t forget the sheer flirty silhouettes.
Q: What's the biggest resort wear trend you're looking forward to in 2023?
A: I am a colorful, print-obsessed girlie as soon as I am in warmer weather! So I am, of course, super excited for all the vibrant printed pieces that will be on trend for this year’s resort wear collections.
Q: If you can only pack one item on vacation, what is it?
A: A linen oversized button-down, it's lightweight, breathable, and the versatility with styling is endless!
Marie Zoumanigui
@petitemarienyc
Courtesy of Marie Zoumanigui
Q: How would you describe your vacation style?
A: When it comes to vacation style, I have a bit of a dilemma: how can I pack all of my favorite clothes into one tiny carry-on? But in all seriousness, I'd describe my go-to vacation style as effortless and breezy. I love slip dresses for their versatility and comfort, and I always make sure to pack a blazer or two for those unexpected chilly nights. And, of course, a great pair of denim.
Q: What are three items you're adding to your resort wardrobe this year?
A: I'll definitely be adding some peek-a-boo knits for a touch of playful sophistication, tailored suit looks for their sleek and polished vibe, and, of course, some versatile and comfortable slip dresses.
Q: What's the biggest resort wear trend you're looking forward to in 2023?
A: I've been noticing a lot of white resort wear trends popping up lately, and I must say they are definitely catching my eye. I usually tend to avoid white clothing like the plague because, well, let's just say I can be a bit of a walking disaster. But I'm feeling bold this year, and I think I'm going to take a risk and try on some of the stunning white pieces I've seen around.
Q: If you can only pack one item on vacation, what is it?
A: I'm sure you won't be surprised by my answer - a slip dress, of course! It's my go-to piece for any occasion.
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Featured image by Jon Navas @itsjdn