Chilli And Mýa Share Their Secrets For Remaining Flawless And Fabulous
Something that I like about when a new show premieres is all of the press that happens leading up to it. Take VH1'sGirls Cruise (starring Lil' Kim, Chilli, Mýa, Vena E., B. Simone, Tiffany Panhilason and Char Defrancesco) that airs tonight at 8 p.m. (EST), for example. It's been about eight years since Chilli's reality series What Chilli Wants aired (on the same network) and, I don't recall ever seeing Mýa on a reality show before. So yeah, it's been a pleasant surprise to see them making their media rounds.
Over the weekend, something that I caught was a VH1 promo that featured Chilli and Mýa. At first glance, I thought to myself, "For Chilli to be 48 and Mya to be turning 40 this fall, they are killin' the game." They really are too. Both of them appear to have flawless skin, healthy hair and really good muscle tone. I was so impressed that I went back to the first TLC single ("Ain't Too Proud to Beg") when Chilli was around 21 and Mýa's first song ("It's All About Me" feat. Sisqo) when she was somewhere between 17-18 annnnd, I kid you not, neither of them look too much different than they did—wow!—over 20 years ago!
When anyone has the ability to barely age, of course, I want to know their beauty secrets. How cool is it that Chilli and Mýa took out some time to share what theirs are. Get this—virtually all of them are natural, affordable and, clearly, extremely effective.
"Some good genes and taking care of your body, your temple, that is the key right there because I have seen many Black, that cracked," Chilli mentions towards the end of the interview. "I'm not lyin'; it's the truth. So, I understand that saying but…"
Mýa agrees for the most part but adds, "I would definitely say that with darker skin, you can withstand the sun a lot longer and so…you are known for aging less and slower. But, Chilli's right. If you don't take care of yourself, or you're smokin' and drinkin' and abusin' your body, not hydrating or you know, drinkin' a lot of chemicals or eating a lot of chemicals, it's gonna show up on the outside, so take care of you..." Indeed.
That's the overall consensus from the ladies, but out of the little-over-four-minutes segment, here are some of their specific beauty takeaways that I think you might dig.
Chilli’s Beauty Secrets
"Listen, don't believe that saying when they say, 'Black don't crack.' It does crack. You have to take care of your skin…I'm a product junkie. I think that's very wise, because again, you don't know what's gonna work with your skin. Everybody's skin is a little different." Two things that Chilli are huge fans of are eye patches and drinking lots of water. Chilli also says, "And as much as I love the sun, it's really not a good idea to hang out too much in the sun."
Something else that Chilli does is use avocado on her hair. According to her, it's a really good hair mask. "Right when it turns brown and I'm like, 'I don't wanna eat it no more', you shouldn't throw it away…that's a waste. And honestly, water, water, water. If you stay super-hydrated, your skin…that pH balance is everything. It makes a huge difference in the body because…you want your body to be less acidic and more alkaline."
Mýa’s Beauty Secrets
"I am really into natural remedies to maintain the glow," shares Mýa. "I started with cucumbers on my eyes…I'm vegan, and so I believe, like, what you put in your body definitely affects your skin." Mya also notes that she doesn't drink alcohol but will make an exception for red wine due to the antioxidants that are in it.
Something else Mýa does is make her own peels out of fruits and vegetables. She also uses coconut oil as her make-up remover. "For masks, tightening, like I just use pure avocado and even mango," says Mýa. "It gives you a nice tightening and moisture." When Chilli asks if she makes a puree out of the food, Mýa shakes her head from side to side and says, "Nope. Straight from the peel. I take the avocado out of its little dish, mix it up and that's it. Even mango peels, I use the inside of the mango peel, where the mango residue is left over and it tightens your face." Mýa is also a fan of using shea butter as a sunblock and skin moisturizer.
As I was listening to these two beautiful women break their beauty regimens down, I didn't take lightly what they shouted out. If cucumbers and mangos have them lookin' like that, I wanted to make sure that I—and you—knew more about what we could get out of them. Here's what I discovered.
Water
If you're feeling drained, irritable or constipated, it just might be that you are dehydrated. If so, you're not alone either because, while our bodies consist of over 60 percent water, a whopping 75 percent of us are not only dehydrated, we arechronically dehydrated.
Something that both Chilli and Mýa sang the praises of was drinking plenty of water. It removes toxins, boosts energy levels, increases mental productivity, keeps joints feeling good and is even known to treat and prevent headaches and migraines.
And just what kind of water should you drink to get the most benefits? Reverse osmosis water literally uses reverse osmosis to remove most contaminants from the water. Word on the street is it's so pure that you can try and freeze it and it won't. Distilled water is a blander form, taste-wise, of reverse osmosis. Something to keep in mind with these is if you're not feeling well or you're fasting, they can be good options. But as far as drinking them every day, purified water doesn't only lack contaminants but minerals too; so, they might not need to be your daily go-to option.
Also, remember how Chilli said that it's important that your body is more alkaline than acidic? A type of water that will help to keep your pH levels in check is alkaline water. Because it has a higher pH balance than tap water, some believe that it is able to neutralize the acid in your system. Then there is spring water. Although it is marketed as being "natural", that's very similar to how "organic" is oftentimes misused for marketing purposes. Meaning, if you do decide to go with spring, do some research on the company that sells it before shelling out your cash. Also, read articles like "The Truth About Tap". Sometimes, you're better off just putting a filter on your faucet than buying or drinking bottled water (did you read about how arsenic is in some brands?!).
Oh, and if you're like me and you're not the biggest water fan or, worse, you tend to drink more soda than water (something that Chilli and Mýa say is an absolute no-no), perk the water up by making some infused water or drinking some sparkling or mineral water with a dash of juice in it. Not too much juice though, because they have recently linked consuming too much of that to cancer. SMDH.
Avocado
Something else that both Chilli and Mýa are fans of is the fruit avocado. As far as your insides go, avocados are loaded with Vitamin K and also have a good amount of vitamins B5, B6 and C, folate and potassium (more than a banana, in fact). Something else that's awesome about avocados is they don't have any cholesterol or sodium in them, and they are low in saturated fat. Some other benefits include the fact that they are able to keep your heart healthy, the fiber in them can keep you regular, plus they are able to lower your cholesterol and help your body to better absorb nutrients from plant-based foods.
One of the reasons why avocados are so good for your hair and skin is because they've also got plenty of antioxidants in them. If you want to try them as a DIY hair mask, simply mix one ripe avocado with two tablespoons of grapeseed oil, two tablespoons of raw honey and five drops of lavender essential. Mix everything together until the texture is smooth and creamy. Then apply the mixture to your freshly-washed damp hair. Let it sit (with a plastic bag on your head) for 30 minutes and rinse with warm, then cool water (to seal your hair's cuticles). Your tresses should feel really soft right after.
Cucumber
A food that is made up of more than 90 percent water is the cucumber. So yeah, if you're dehydrated, snacking on one of these (with a little bit of vinegar or sea salt) can get you some of the fluid that your body needs. Cucumbers also have a ton of Vitamin K in them, as well as Vitamin C, fiber, magnesium, manganese, potassium and even two grams of protein. Since cucumbers have so much water in them, they are a low-calorie food; this means they are great if you want to snack on something while you're trying to shed a few pounds. Cucumbers can also help to reduce blood sugar levels, detoxify your system and soothe muscle and joint pain.
Why do so many people put them on their eyes? Thank the combo of the Vitamin C and silica that's in cucumbers. Vitamin C helps to reduce inflammation. Silica is a mineral that heals the skin; it also makes hair and nails strong and shiny too.
If you want your skin to look dewy and youthful, try making some of your own cucumber mist. It's pretty easy to do, but probably easier to understand if you watched it being made. You can check out a video here.
Mango
It looks like you're reading this just in time because, although you might see mangos in your produce department year-round, they are actually at their peak from February until right around now (mid-July). Aside from how absolutely delicious mangos taste, they also contain a high amount of Vitamin C and copper (something you need more of if you're experiencing any premature greying). Mangos also have vitamins A, B5 and B6, E and K, along with potassium, manganese, magnesium, folate, niacin and fiber in them. All of these nutrients work together to boost your immunity, strengthen your eyes, increase your digestive health and lower your cancer risk.
The antioxidants in mangos will help to produce more collagen in your system so that you can have healthy hair and glowing skin. Take advantage of the properties in this particular fruit by combining four tablespoons of mango pulp with one teaspoon of raw honey and two teaspoons of sweet almond oil. Mix everything well and put it all on your clean face and neck for 15 minutes. Then rinse with cool water. If you do this once a week, you might be able to give Mýa a run for her money!
Shea Butter
Something that used to be an annual ritual for me was getting a big container of shea butter at the local African Street Festival. Now I buy mine on Etsy and, all these years later, if there's one thing that I think every Black woman should have in her possession, it's this. Shea butter is considered to be a "skin superfood" and rightfully so because it contains vitamins A, E and F, and oleic, linoleic, and stearic acids. Together, these properties deeply moisturize your skin; reduce any skin inflammation; minimize breakouts; soften the appearance of acne scars; protect the skin from UV rays (just like Mýa said); reduce the appearance of stretch marks; increase skin elasticity and make your lips extremely kissable. Just make sure to look for some raw and unrefined Grade A shea butter. Trust me, not all shea butters are one in the same.
If you want to make some of your own sparkling shea butter lip balm, this video will walk you through how to do it.
As you can see, Chilli and Mýa said more than a mouthful when they broke down some of their beauty secrets to us. So, next time you're at the grocery store, pick some of these items up. When it comes to looking radiant and beautiful, these foods (and the shea butter) definitely have your back. Chilli and Mýa have the looks to prove it.
Watch the clip in full here.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
9 Tips On How To Transition Into A Vegan Diet
10 "Healthy" Foods That Actually, Well...Aren't
Feature image from Vh1
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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These 11 Married Couples Share Their Keys To Long-Term Marital Success
The late actor Audrey Hepburn once said something that I think a lot of married couples who have at least 10 years under their belt will agree with: “If I get married, I want to be very married.” In my mind, this means very committed, very complementary, and very willing to go the distance — otherwise, what’s the point?
Really, what’s the point?
Thing is, with the divorce rate still being higher than it ever should be (for the record, a husband is not a boyfriend, and a wife is not a girlfriend; a marriage is serious business, y’all) and acting married being praised (or at least acknowledged) more than actually being married seems to be — folks who 1) are married and are looking for some hacks that will help with relational longevity or 2) want to be married someday and want insight on how to make their future marriage last are constantly seeking truly beneficial material.
Can you Google articles with random bullet points? Sure. And I’m not discouraging it. Every little bit of wisdom that you can pull, I fully support. However, the reason why I like to do articles like this one from time to time is there is something to be said from hearing real talk from multiple sources on the same topic who have some solid wisdom and knowledge on a particular topic.
Today? 11 married couples who were willing to talk about how they’ve been able to make it to several wedding anniversaries with a smile on their face and no regrets for choosing who they chose. Let’s all sit at their feet for just a moment.
*Middle names are always used in my content that’s like this so that people can speak freely*
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1. Kyle and Adrienne. Married 12 Years.
Kyle: “Some of your readers aren’t going to want to hear this but it’s worked for my marriage: people need to lower their expectations sometimes; I mean, men and women. We go into marriage with stuff that movies told us, social media told us, friends who are always single told us about what we should expect from someone, and then want to fault the person when they’re not what we made up in our head. Everyone should have standards but if you’re expecting your spouse to be some living version of a fairy tale character, you’re going to be disappointed almost every day of your life. Drop those expectations some and watch your relationship be a lot less stressful.”
Adrienne: “Talk to people who respect your man about your marriage. I’ve never believed that you shouldn’t ever go to anyone when you need some support. Even the Bible says that there is safety in wise counsel [Proverbs 11:4]. Too many women talk to women who don’t respect men, in general, let alone their husbands, and so that’s where things go left. Sometimes, you need an ‘outside in’ perspective. But if that woman is always taking shots at men, doesn’t respect marriage, or isn’t someone who holds your man in high regard, don’t ask her for advice. Really, you should ask yourself why you’re friends with her at all.”
Shellie here: I’m big on engaged and married couples having a “village” of sorts for their relationship, too. Check out “Why Every Engaged Couple Needs A 'Marriage Registry'” to get a good idea of what I mean.
2. Levi and Paulette. Married for 15 Years.
Levi: “Some of you have probably heard of the 7-7-7 rule. It’s where couples go on a date every seven days, have a weekend getaway every seven weeks, and go on a romantic trip of some sort every seven months. My wife and I do the 2-2-2 rule instead because sometimes our schedule and budget make ‘7’ difficult. It has gotten easier since Shellie told us about the sex jar. Bottom line, if you’re waiting for time to just open up to be with your spouse, that ain’t gonna happen. Schedule intimacy, including sex. Prioritizing it is better than saying you’re gonna be spontaneous and…never are.”
Paulette: “Initiate sex, dammit. When Shellie told us that men initiate sex most of the time, and then I thought about how often I used to push my husband away whenever he did it — I never really thought about how that made him feel until I put myself in his shoes. We’ve got to stop having all of this understanding for why women cheat when it comes to them not feeling desired or not getting attention when we’re the same way to our husbands. Your marriage isn’t ‘Young and the Restless’, where you’re just supposed to wait for your man to make the move. If you want to feel wanted, do the same thing for him.”
Shellie here: What’s a sex jar, you ask? You can read more about it via “5 Reasons Why Every Married Couple Needs A Sex Jar.”
3. Matthew and Gaia. Married for 17 Years.
Matthew: “Reenact some of your favorite times together. My wife and I do that semi-often. We’ll go back to where we had our first date, or we’ll go back to the hotel where we had some of the best sex before. Bringing back memories of when you felt the best together can give you the motivation to stay together to create some new memories to ‘play out’ later on.”
Gaia: “If you want to ‘mom your husband,’ you need to have kids — or at least get a dog! I didn’t realize how bossy I was until I got married. It’s because I saw my mom be that way with my dad. In my eyes, I thought that’s what love looked like until I watched how my in-laws were. They don’t try to change each other, and they definitely don’t make any demands. They’re very polite. I think a lot of married people are rude to their partner. Don’t be that.”
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4. Joseph and Carletta. Married for 10 Years.
Joseph: “Go to therapy for your childhood. I’m dead serious. No one is going to show you yourself like your wife will, and I realized that a lot of my hang-ups came from unhealed childhood stuff. It’s hard to be an adult in your marriage when you’re still emotionally a kid in a lot of ways. If you’re at the point where you think therapy is needed, go alone and deal with your childhood first. It did miracles for me and mine.”
"No one is going to show you yourself like your wife will, and I realized that a lot of my hang-ups came from unhealed childhood stuff. It’s hard to be an adult in your marriage when you’re still emotionally a kid in a lot of ways."
Carletta: “Meditate together once a day. Even if it’s just for 5-10 minutes, you need to carve out a moment to be mindful, focus on each other, and slow the world down. [Joseph and I] have been doing it for a couple of years now; it’s totally changed the way we communicate. Meditation reminds us to put each other first; that if we’re focused on each other, we can take on…whatever.”
5. Zeke and Rachelle. Married for 12 Years.
Zeke: “An argument is not a fight and a debate is not an argument. Learn that and you’re home-free. That’s all I got.”
Rachelle: “That advice that you just got? That sums up what it’s like to live with my husband. He’s very cut-and-dry, direct, and not wordy. That used to bug the hell out of me until I realized how wordy I was and then accepted that I wouldn’t want ‘two of me’ in the house [LOL]. He’s right. You can have a difference of opinion, and it be a debate. You can not find a middle ground on something and it turns into an argument. Neither of those is a red flag. It just comes with being with someone who is as much of an individual as you are.”
6. Taurus and Madison. Married for 22 Years.
Taurus: “Be prepared for your partner to change — not a couple of times, quite a bit. And when they change, that alters the relationship because now it’s not the person you stood with on your wedding day; it’s someone else. People get divorced so much because they are inflexible; they expect their spouse to never switch up and that’s just not how life is. If you’re rigid, controlling, or don’t know how to adjust, you don’t need to marry anybody. You’re gonna be miserable, and so will they.”
Madison: “Pray before sex. Before my husband and I got married, we had quite a bit of sexual history that caused us to do some comparing, and that led to resentment. In marriage, we had to adjust to how it’s more than just what we’re getting from another person. Married sex comes with so much more spirituality and responsibility. Prayer before sex reminds us to see it from a spiritual lens — and that makes the experience more intense and sacred. It might sound weird at first. Just try it. I don’t think you’ll regret it at all.”
"Married sex comes with so much more spirituality and responsibility. Prayer before sex reminds us to see it from a spiritual lens — and that makes the experience more intense and sacred."
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7. Karl and LaTasha. Married for 9 Years.
Karl: “Check in with your partner twice a day. In the morning before leaving the house and at night before going to sleep. If you work outside of the home, a lot can happen during the course of one day, so you shouldn’t assume that the person you left in the morning is who you are coming home to. I don’t mean sharing each other’s schedules or to-do lists. I mean, asking your spouse, ‘How are you doing? How are you really doing?’. It’s a smart way to take note of their mood and needs so that you are never blindsided.”
LaTasha: “Give each other some privacy. I have never been the kind of woman to go through a man’s phone, and I won’t start. If you think that you have to be a detective in your relationship, why are you in it in the first place? I know that Karl would give me codes and passwords if I wanted them because we’ve talked about it all before. Knowing that he would is enough for me. Marriage is an institution, but damn, it shouldn’t feel like jail.”
8. Thomas and Wynter. Married for 15 Years.
Thomas: “Ask your partner what their sexual needs are. Never assume that they haven’t changed because if we all agree that we are constantly growing and evolving as people, why would sex be exempt? Don’t personalize what they say about it either. All of us have sexual fantasies and interests that we keep to ourselves because we don’t know what our partner will think or ‘cause we think that they will create stories in their head about what made us think that way. I’ve learned that intimacy is feeling okay with sharing the deep stuff. The more comfortable a man, especially, is with doing that, the better the sex will be for everyone because talking about stuff like that is like taking down some walls.”
Wynter: “It’s okay to take one vacation a year with your girls and one by yourself. Just don’t go with people who don’t have the same standards as you, and as far as your solo venture, it doesn’t need to be longer than a long weekend. One thing that they don’t tell you about marriage is how there are times when you will feel like it is monotonous because of the routine of everything. A girls’ trip reminds you to get back to you outside of being someone’s wife or mom, and the trip alone is when you can sit around and do whatever you have to negotiate most of them. And yes, your man should be given the same courtesy.”
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9. Allen and Yvette. Married for 11 Years.
Allen: “STOP. BRINGING. UP. OLD. SH-T. SH-T. Nothing creates walls in a marriage more than you telling someone that you forgave them, and then the minute something else happens, here you go with the rap sheet of wrongs. Forgiving someone means that you are pardoning them, and that’s not what you’re doing if you’re constantly holding stuff over their head. One thing that marriage will show you is how bad of a forgiver you are. Most people suck at it, if we’re gonna be real about it.”
Yvette: “I already know that some women are going to assume that my man must’ve done something to say all of that (LOL). He’s a much better forgiver than I am, believe it or not. The real plot twist is, what gets on his nerves more than anything, is when I bring up stuff that he’s forgiven me for. Allen is the kind of man [who] hates to live in the past. I’ve grown a lot because of that. I think my advice would be to stay focused on solutions and tomorrow instead of problems and yesterday.”
Allen: “Sh- t, that’s bars, babe!”
Shellie here: INDEED.
10. Brennton and Danyelle. Married for 16 Years.
Brennton: “Why anyone who is trash at forgiving would get married is beyond me. It’s delusional to the nth degree to think that you are worthy of forgiveness and others aren’t — or that what you do isn’t ‘as bad,’ and that’s why you deserve forgiveness and others don’t. My wife and I have a lot of time under our belts. I’m here to tell you that there will be something, daily, that you will need to forgive your partner for on some level. If you can’t see yourself being open to that, marriage simply isn’t for you.”
Danyelle: “I don’t know who taught so many of us that being passive-aggressive will get us what we want, but it’s a damn lie. If something is wrong, stop saying ‘nothing’ when your man asks you what’s up because, if you’ve got a man like mine, he’s gonna say ‘Okay’ and go on about his day. Brennton often says that my refusing to speak isn’t his responsibility, it’s mine. That used to piss me off because, deep down, I knew that he was right. Oh, and chill on the grudge-holding too. With guys, that’s not going to get you anywhere either.”
11. Christopher and Yvonne. Married for 26 Years.
Christopher: “Have more loyalty for your spouse than you do your closest friend. Too many people don’t think like that. If you’ve got a friend since college, you’ve been through some things and you’ve learned to forgive and move past it. If you can’t see your wife or husband in this way, why did you get married? You should never have more grace for someone who you didn’t take vows with; that’s ludicrous. Before anyone else, I’m going to prioritize reconciling with my wife. It’s because I value her more than anyone. That’s what marriage is.”
"Before anyone else, I'm going to prioritize reconciling with my wife. It's because I value her more than anyone. That's what marriage is."
Yvonne: “Even if you’re not about ‘traditional gender roles,’ discuss what the expectations are for the home. People don’t divorce over cheating as much as getting sick of beard clippings in the bathroom sink or cars that look like pocketbooks. When you sign up for marriage, you are doing daily life with another person. Articulate your expectations. Listen to theirs. Be flexible until you both can make it work. Do that, and you’ll look up, and it’s been 20 years already.”
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Gems. Pure gems, y’all.
You know, popular consultant Barbara De Angelis once said, “Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.” And love? Love is a choice.
And so, whether you’re married, engaged, or simply desire marriage in the future, hopefully, these tips will help you to choose how you love your spouse (or future spouse)…better.
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Featured image by Jasper Cole/Getty Images