

Let me just prepare you out the gate. After reading this, you're probably gonna have a couple of moments of "Daaaaang. So exactly what can I eat?!" The thing is, if you're being even remotely intentional about the kinds of foods that you put into your mouth (and ultimately your system), you're already winning in a lot of ways. And, as far as "unhealthy" goes, if you try your best to avoid things that have a long list of ingredients on the packaging, you're already winning a lot of the battle.
As for the 10 items that I'm about to break down, the main thing to keep in mind is moderation is key. A lot of times, the mistake that we make is if we think something is healthy, we'll eat a ton of it, all day, every day. It's that lack of balance is what can throw things, well, off.
Bottom line, nobody is out here saying that you can't have these types of foods every once in a while (well, at least I'm not). But before you stock up your fridge and pantry with nothing but these items, check out why you should probably rethink that.
1.Fruit Juice
Yes, fruit juice contains Vitamin C and that's a vitamin that is loaded with antioxidants. That's the good news. On the other hand, there is plenty of research to support the fact that, for the most part, there's not much difference between fruit juice and your favorite kind of soda.
All you have to do is read the label of a soda can and then juice container and you'll notice that there may be a 10-15 grams difference of sugar between them (most have around 30 grams of sugar; your body only needs 10 grams per day). Plus, what goes into the process of making juice isn't the best for the environment either. 12 oranges alone make up one cup of OJ. That's a lot of pesticides, irrigation and fuel used to truck juice into your local grocery store. Just something to think about.
If you're wondering what some of the worst so-called healthy commercial juices are, Welch's 100% Grape Juice with Fiber, Simply Orange High Pulp, R.W. Knudsen Just Pomegranate, Ocean Spray 100% Juice No Sugar Added Cranberry and probiotic juices (unfortunately) top the list.
The moral to the story is you'd be better off juicing yourself, making some infused water or at least slicing your juice intake in half by mixing it with half a glass of mineral, sparkling or seltzer water.
2.Soy Products
As a doula, I'm constantly telling new moms that if they do decide to use formula, they need to avoid the kind that contains soy at all costs (especially if they have a son). Why? Soy contains phytoestrogen, which is basically a plant-derived form of the female hormone estrogen.
While soy does contain a decent amount of vitamins C and K, folate, iron, magnesium and potassium, it also tops the list of foods that create "man boobs". Plus, it's one of the most genetically-modified foods around. Another "ugh" thing about soy is studies reveal that it has the tendency to produce more bodily inflammation than cow's milk. Inflammation is never good.
3.Granola Bars
Last year, General Mills removed "100 percent natural" from the popular granola bars. Why, do you ask? Apparently their bars contained glyphosate. What the heck is that? It's a weed killer that has been linked to cancer. As if that's not enough of a reason to rethink eating granola bars (or to at least research the ingredients that are on the label before buying them), they also contain quite a bit of oil and sugar.
Does that mean you can never snack on granola again? No. Just go with making some instead of buying it. That way, you can control how much "extra" goes into it. (A pretty healthy granola bar recipe is found here.)
4.Flavored Yogurt
What could possibly be wrong with yogurt? When it's plain and Greek, not much. Problem is, most of us reach for the kind that is full of sugar and artificial coloring. In fact, many doctors say that not only is flavored yogurt pretty fattening, it also doesn't contain enough protein or fiber to be beneficial.
Before you pick up some Greek yogurt, what are some of the worst brands on the market? Activia Greek Vanilla, Yoplait Greek 100 and Dannon Light & Fit Greek Nonfat Vanilla. Some of the best? Fage Total 2% Greek Yogurt, Stonyfield Organic Greek Whole Milk Plain and Dannon Oikos Greek Nonfat Yogurt Plain. You can click here to read why.
Oh, and if you hate the taste of plain yogurt, remember that you can always add some fresh fruit and/or organic honey to make it more palatable. It's a lot healthier to do it this way than to trust what's on your grocery store's shelves.
5.Whole Wheat Bread
If after you eat pasta or cereal, you notice that you feel nauseated or have a headache, it could be because you've got a wheat allergy that you didn't know about. You can find out for sure by making an appointment with a local allergist. However, that's not the reason why wheat bread makes this list.
The biggest problem with this kind of bread is one, that it's bread. Bread is a high-carb kind of food that is able to raise your blood sugar levels. Bread also contains lectins and phytates; those are toxins that are found in grains. Another problem with a lot of grocery store brands of bread is they're loaded with high fructose corn syrup (which is basically the devil). And, as far as the wheat part goes, most whole wheat bread actually isn't made from whole wheat. Since the grain is ground so finely that, by the time it's ready to eat, it's not much better than (gasp!) white bread. Hmph.
6.Agave Nectar
Some people are hyped about agave nectar because it's a natural sweetener. Problem is, although it registers low on the glycemic index due to its amount of fructose (a hexose sugar that's found in honey and fruit), believe it or not, it contains a greater amount of fructose than high fructose corn syrup. Consuming too much fructose can ultimately lead to type 2 diabetes, heart disease and fatty liver disease too.
Organic honey or even blackstrap molasses is a way better bet. Leave the white sugar and agave nectar alone.
7.Veggie Chips
If lately, you've been snacking on veggie chips because you thought they were a better alternative to standard potato chips, I hate to rain on your parade but that's not really the truth. Sure, veggie chips contain vegetables but most of them are so highly-processed with sugar, salt, oil, artificial colors and preservatives that you might as well have a few Lay's if that's what you really desire.
What's the true healthy alternative? Baking your own veggies at home. DIY kale, sweet potatoes and zucchini chips are all really easy to make and pretty delicious too. Plus, you know how healthy they are (or not) because you made them yourself. (Click here for some great recipes.)
8.Meat Substitutes
Aside from the fact that a lot of meat substitutes contain a lot of soy (and we've already covered what's wrong with that), most of them also contain quite a bit of gluten. The problem with gluten is that it's a gooey kind of protein that can put you at risk of being diagnosed with celiac disease. It's a condition where your small intestine is damaged due to the consumption of gluten. Some other challenges with gluten is it can cause bloating, constipation, fatigue, psoriasis and iron-deficiency anemia too.
So, before you reach out for some vegan bacon or a Morning Star griller, check out the labels to see how much soy and/or gluten they contain. The answer just may surprise you.
9.Store-Bought Smoothies
Smoothies are a quick and convenient way to "drink your fruits and veggies". The challenge that comes with a lot of them is one, we tend to consume 20-24 ounces per sitting (that's a lot) and two, if we buy them at a store, the amount of sugar and carbs can be literally off the charts!
Something else that a lot of people don't know is although a lot of the fruit in smoothies contains fiber, because it's close to liquified, having one smoothie typically makes you hungrier in a shorter period of time than if you ate a whole piece of fruit.
Long story short, if you're looking to lose weight, a smoothie a day will not automatically or necessarily keep the sugar content or fat cells at bay. (Yeah, this is another kind of food that you'd be better off making at home.)
10.Gluten-Free Foods
OK, so we already touched on where too much gluten will get you. Now check out what having none has the potential to do. Aside from going vegan, probably the most popular health trend is eating gluten-free. However, CNN recently published an article that this trend isn't the best idea for everybody. And with good reason.
While one study revealed that going gluten-free can actually be bad for your heart over time, other data supports that a lot of foods that don't contain gluten are loaded with fillers that are no more than junk. Also, your diet needs to be comprised of about 50 percent carbohydrates, which is what gluten contains. So, when it comes to this final unhealthy healthy food, it's much smarter to eat healthy than to decide to kick carbs altogether. Feel me?
Yeah, this was a lot. But now that you have the knowledge that you do, hopefully you'll rethink buying something just because it's packaged—which means marketed—as being healthy. Eat wisely, y'all.
Want more stories like this? Check out these xoNecole related reads:
9 Healthy Breakfast Dishes For Women On-The-Go
10 Foods You Should Eliminate From Your Diet If You're Trying To Lose Weight
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Tired Of Always Being The Bridesmaid? 5 Things To Keep In Mind.
I don’t know what it is about me when it comes to television (or web) series. Usually, I won’t watch them when they’re airing in “real time;” it’ll be a couple of years later, and then I’ll binge-watch and become a fan. Such was the case withChef Julian (the real ones know). And while watching it, someone who I found to be so pretty was the main character’s forever-on-again-off-again girlfriend Mo’. Real name? Javicia Leslie. If you’re not familiar with her, on one of the episodes, Julian jokes about her resembling Tatiana Ali — and he would be correct.
Anyway, it’s always cool to see people rise in their craft. A couple of years ago, Javicia made history as the first Black woman to play one of the characters of the DC Universe (Batwoman, to be exact). And why is she relevant to this particular article? It’s basically because, a couple of years before that, she had the lead in a cute film entitledAlways a Bridesmaid. On some levels, she even inspired the decision to write this piece.
Being a bridesmaid. In some ways, I don’t know if there’s a tighter line to walk than being happy for a friend who has found her bae for life while you’re trying to figure out if and when your own time will come.
Well, since June, September and October (which are all steadily on their way) continue to be the most popular months for jumping the broom — if you are a lot like Corina (Javicia’s character in the movie) and you’re wondering if you’re gonna be purchasing bridesmaids dresses for others without a wedding gown for yourself for the rest of your life, here are a few things that I certainly hope you will keep in mind — things that I hope will cause you to see being a bridesmaid in the best light possible.
1. Bridesmaids Are “Marriage Cheerleaders.” That’s a Dope Thing.
If you’re in a relationship that looks like it’s headed towards marriage, please check out “Why Every Engaged Couple Needs A 'Marriage Registry.'” As a marriage life coach, a marriage registry is actually something that I recommend engaged couples to have because it’s all about cultivating a support team for various areas of your marriage — and y’all, that’s basically what bridesmaids are. They’re not just a group of women who look cute in a dress at a wedding; they are individuals who have agreed to stand by a bride’s side as she shifts into becoming a wife.
Hmph. Don’t get me started on why, when it comes to selecting bridesmaids, it really shouldn’t be about your history with them so much as the relationship that they have with you and your soon-to-be husband in the present because, if they can’t have your marriage’s back, they really should be in the audience (if they are there at all).
For now, in order to stay on topic, I’ll just say that the best way to look at the role of a bridesmaid is to compare them to a cheerleader. Cheerleaders are individuals who are there to encourage teams in an enthusiastic and optimistic kind of way. And honestly, when someone you care about asks you to serve in this capacity on their wedding day, it’s an honor because they trust that you are happy for them, that you are in agreement with their decision and that you will keep them inspired and motivated well beyond the day that they say, “I do.”
And people who are in this type of head and heart space for someone else? How could good karma not come their way? Because when you know how to be thrilled for other people’s blessings, the universe finds a way of rewarding you for your selflessness.
Let’s keep going.
2. Weddings Ain’t Marriages. Marriages Ain’t Weddings. A Bride and Wife Are Not (Exactly) the Same.
How many times have I said, somewhere, that while big expensive weddings ain’t personally my thing, if that’s what folks want to do, I certainly ain’t gonna knock it because, once the wedding day is over, that’s when the real work — which I prefer to see as maintenance (check out “Relationships Shouldn't Be 'Hard Work.' They Should Be Maintenance.”) — truly begins. Sadly, when it comes to this, some folks don’t have a clue.
Whew, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told a woman that a bride is a bride for a day — a wife, though? That’s a whole ‘nother set of responsibilities entirely (which I will elaborate on in just a sec).
My point here? If you’re someone who has a collection of bridesmaid dresses in your closet and the question, “When is it going to be my turn?” is getting louder and louder in your head with every ceremony that you participate in — remember that what you are witnessing is an elaborate party that deserves to be a little over the top. After all, it’s a celebration of the decision that two people made to spend the rest of their lives together.
At the same time, though, never forget that the wedding day itself only lasts for a few hours and, once the festivities are over and they come back from their honeymoon, real life sets in. This means that what you need to really ask yourself is 1) are you caught up in the hype of the wedding, and 2) have you really thought about what is required to make a marriage work — and last. Because chile, although (and thankfully) most of the wives in my space do not regret getting married (check out “What Should You Do If You Feel Like You Married The Wrong Person?”), what easily 80 percent of them have told me is that they seriously underestimated what the day-to-day of marriage entails.
To further drive this point home, I actually asked five wives to share with me what they think is the difference between being a bride and being a wife.
Wife #1:“It’s selfish to think that your wedding day should be all about you and not your groom — but let’s be real: guys don’t really care about that stuff, and so a lot of the focus is on you, as the bride. If you think that’s what marriage is about, it can make you entitled and selfish. Then, when it’s all over and it’s time to be a wife, you will think that you still should be served all of the time without doing much work. You have to do daily work — every day of your life.”
Wife #2:“If I could do it over, I would have cut back on the wedding planner and put more money into longer premarital counseling because two one-hour sessions ain’t gonna cut it. Brides are hyper-focused on one day without really thinking about what follows. You need some therapy to get your mind right, because when I tell you that marriage will throw you all the way off if you’re not prepared? You have no idea.”
Wife #3:“I have single friends who say that they think they are missing out because they aren’t married. I love my husband and wouldn’t change a thing, but single people are crazy to think that there aren’t some perks to being single. Don’t let that big dress and diamond fool you. If you’re a good wife, you’ve earned them and you will have days and nights when you miss not being single anymore.”
Wife #4:“Being a bride is a fantasy. Being a wife is reality. I don’t have a better way to put it because who dresses up, gets gifts, and dances every single day? As a wife, what you do do every day is compromise, negotiate, and get challenged to become a better person. If you’re not ready for that, keep hanging out on rooftop bars with your single friends. I’m dead serious.”
Wife #5:“A bride is someone who lets the world know that she wants to be a wife. A wife is someone who puts that intent into action. The thing about a bride is she’s that for one day, but a wife has to keep showing up every day of her life for the rest of her life. It’s rewarding, but it takes more out of you than people think. People who envy wedding days usually want the attention, not the commitment.”
This comes from people who have lived it. So yeah, if you’re someone who fantasizes of becoming a wife one day, make sure that you ask yourself if you’re merging bride and wife together without really thinking about the sacrifices that wives make — because, as you can see, there are many, chile.
3. Every Relational Status Has Pros…and Concessions
I’m pretty sure you’ve heard someone say that you shouldn’t get too invested in the relationship goals that you see on social media. The main reason why is because most IG posts show you the good times without also sharing the blood, sweat, and tears that were required to make those times possible. Hmph. Not to mention the fact that every single relational status has its own pros and extreme compromises — and when it comes to compromising, when you’re married, because two people are involved, that is definitely the case.
I mean, as a single person, just think about it — you can take a trip without running it by someone else; you can spend money without consulting another person; you can make both little and large decisions without seeing how someone else feels about it; you can move without worrying about how it will directly affect another individual; you don’t have to divide your personal time unless you absolutely want to; there aren’t people who you have to be around, simply to make another person happy, and you don’t have to “meet in the middle” when it comes to certain values, goals or even traditions.
Listen, back when I wrote articles like, “10 Words That'll Make You Totally Rethink The Word 'Single'” and “10 Bona Fide Benefits Of Being Single,” I did it to remind as many people as I possibly can that as a marriage life coach, I will be the first to say that a healthy marriage is all kinds of awesome; HOWEVER, that doesn’t mean that being single ain’t super bomb too.
It’s all in how you choose to look at things. How are you?
4. Envy Is Love’s Enemy (Across the Board)
Although there’s no solid data on the percentage of bridesmaids who are jealous or envious of the bride on her big day, trust and believe that there is plenty of content out in cyberspace that addresses it. One forum that I checked out talked about a bride who had to deal with a bridesmaid who told her that she was jealous about not being selected to be the maid of honor.
An article featured the story of three friends (who honestly seemed low-key toxic prior to the wedding) who refused to be happy for the bride during her four-day wedding event. Another forum talked about a sister who was so consumed with wanting to be engaged that she was flippantly dismissive about her sister’s upcoming nuptials.
Ugh. Ugh to all of this because, although it’s understandable that you may want something that someone else has (we all do sometimes, if we’re gonna be completely real about it), one of the ugliest things about jealousy (the fear of losing what you have) and envy (being caught up in what someone else has) is they cause you to put all of the focus on you…even when it is completely the wrong place and wrong time to do so.
Since a single person doesn’t have a husband, what I am going to focus on (most) for this point is envy; especially since even the Good Book tells us that love doesn’t do that (I Corinthians 13:4).
Symptoms of being an envious person?
- You either don’t know how to or refuse to celebrate others
- You’re hypercritical of other people’s choices or decisions
- You spread false information in order to cause discord or confusion about other folks
- You give disingenuous or backhanded compliments
- You try to downplay the goodness and success of other people
All of this is pretty ugly, right? Hmph, no wonder the Bible says that envy can’t be present wherever love is. All of this actually reminds me of a quote that says something along the lines of “Envy is counting someone else’s blessings more than your own.” It also reminds me of a 10th Commandment (Exodus 20:17) which tells us not to covet, which not only means “to desire wrongfully, inordinately, or without due regard for the rights of others,” it also means “to wish for, especially eagerly.”
What’s a trip about coveting is that while it can mean that you want someone else’s groom (please don’t), it can also mean that you are so eager that you end up making reckless decisions, all because you envy what someone else has, in general. Listen, I’ve had a wife say to me before that the loneliest night in bed as a single woman beats a bad marriage any day. Again, as someone who has worked with married couples for well over 20 years at this point, I couldn’t agree more.
Don’t envy. It gets you absolutely nowhere…good.
5. Everyone’s Love Story Is Unique. Do Not Compare.
There’s a Black-owned T-shirt and sweatshirt company called Lake + Prosper that features two tees that I think amplify my final point exquisitely well. One says, “My goal is to outdo me, not y’all,” and the other says, “own lane. own race. own pace.” At the end of the day, what both of these remind us all to do is not compare ourselves to others — this includes when it comes to our love story.
See, what else you’ve also got to keep in mind is when it comes to each person’s romantic relationship journey, there are SO MANY FACTORS that come into play — including timing. And timing is something that you really don’t have any control over (other than making sure that you do what you know needs to be done). And that’s why comparing the brides whose weddings you’ve been in to your own situation is, well, it reminds me of a quote on comparing by Iyanla Vanzant that I like a lot: “Comparison is an act of violence against the self.”
She ain’t lyin’ either because many mental health experts are quick to say that comparing yourself to other people is not only counterproductive but basically futile because it evokes negativity, causes you to feel inadequate, can make you want to beat yourself up, triggers feelings of resentment and it can make you put unrealistic pressure and expectations on yourself.
And gee—how is that good for your relationship with your soon-to-be married friends, how does that improve your relationship with your own self and also, how does that prepare you for the relationship that you will have with the love of your life…when everything that is necessary aligns and says that the time is right? IT. DOESN’T.
In an article that I once read on comparing, the author said something that is oh so very right: “By comparing ourselves to others we’re negating our own road and demanding that the past be different than what it was. The demands we place on ourselves to be like those we’re comparing ourselves may sometimes be motivations for change, however they are more likely to lead to feelings of diminished self-worth.”
Bottom line, as tempting as it may be sometimes, comparing works against you, not for you. Choose to celebrate, not compare.
____
Listen, being sick and tired of always being on the side of the bride instead of being beside your own groom can be human sometimes. I won’t take that away from you. Just make sure that you choose to keep certain facts in perspective: that just because it’s not your turn, that doesn’t mean your time isn’t coming; that negative feelings keep you further from what you desire, and that every person you care about who gets married before you deserves all of the love, encouragement and joy from you that they should reciprocate when your time comes. Stay positive. It’s good karma.
That said, instead of hating the thought of wearing another bridesmaid dress, determine to be fly as ever.
It’s one day closer to what you ultimately desire for yourself.
And a reminder that it can happen.
When and how it should.
Amen? Amen.
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