In the past, I've been told that I have a tendency to be a little too picky, so now I try to be somewhat open when it comes to my dating preferences. Although my experience dating non-black men hasn't been great, my experience with black men hasn't been all that great either, so, as you can see. I don't discriminate. But there is one non-negotiable deal-breaker that will make me bid a suitor farewell in a heartbeat.
I'm a God-fearing woman, and although I can only quote as many scriptures as you can count on both hands, I need a love that looks like Him.
It's my opinion that when you have been loved correctly, you'll have an even deeper understanding of who God is, and if a man doesn't believe in that ideology, then I'll make sure the door doesn't hit you as you leave, honey. In a candid conversation about commitment between Chance The Rapper and Nicki Minaj, both stars expressed that they feel the same way. Nicki told Chance:
"To everybody listening, if you have a man… that says he don't believe in God … One time somebody told me this, that, 'I don't believe in God,' and it scared the living hell out of me. I ran like there was no tomorrow. So I just want to say, because a man needs a strong woman in his life, like whether that woman is praying or meditating or just supporting you or giving you those talks, people don't understand how far that goes for men."
Chance then noted that he actually knows exactly how loving a praying woman can transform a man for the better because he has experienced it firsthand with his now wife, Kirsten Corley. The 26-year-old rapper, who released his latest album, The Big Day, last weekend, spoke about this on his project in a song called "We Go High," that Chance says is the best verse he's ever written in his life. He told Nicki:
"I explain that my wife literally saved my life by becoming celibate and going and get baptized. It changed her life obviously, but we talking about me right now. It changed my life for real."
As xoNecole's certified hip-hop head, I can agree. The verse had me shooketh. Chance realized he was at a point when he had to learn to build a new relationship with God before he could ever be the man his family deserves, and once he did, his life changed. Chance said that at the lowest point in his life, he realized that no man, woman, or child could remedy his unhappiness. And when he ran out of options, he decided to try the one thing in this world that had never failed him:
"I was lower than I ever felt in my life, and I really had to get down on [my] knees and be like, 'I know I can't solve this problem by myself.'"
While the popular (and wrong AF) narrative may be that a woman is supposed to nurture and birth a man into his manhood, there is not one person on this earth that powerful enough to truly heal emotional wounds; only God can do that, and that's exactly why I need a praying man. Chance explained:
"Now I know exactly where my strength comes from. This is all after 'Coloring Book', after I proclaimed that I love Jesus, and all that stuff. You're never fully, fully sanctified, so I had to keep figuring it out. I had to do the Grammy's by myself. I had to do a lot by myself. Then when my girl was gracious enough to have me back, it changed my whole life. Now I know exactly where it all comes from."
Featured image by Instagram/@ChanceTheRapper.