Sometimes, things end so that better things can come together. Singer-songwriter, actress, and director Zoë Kravitz is a true believer in the bittersweetness of endings. It was something that she first opened up about in 2021, shortly following her divorce from actor Karl Glusman.
Back then, she was talking about projects she had in the works and detailing her thoughts about the beauty of breakups in a 2021 cover story with AnOther Magazine. "I got married. I got divorced. Separations, breakups are sad but are beautiful things too. It's about the bittersweetness, that beginning and that end. It's so complex, that space, when you're in between heartbroken and mourning the loss of something and excited for what's ahead of you," she told the publication.
Little did she know what was ahead of her was her directorial debut in a film she co-wrote called Pussy Island. One of the thriller's stars would be actor Channing Tatum, whom she'd meet in 2021. And there would lie her new beginning. Rumors of the pair dating started to circulate after they were spotted riding a bike together in New York City in August 2021. Kravitz and Tatum (who was also previously married to longtime love Jenna Dewan) seemingly found love and maintained a relatively low profile during their budding relationship.
Shortly after rumors of a romance between the collaborators swirled, an interview with WSJwas published where Kravitz was quoted saying about Tatum, "When you make things with people it's a very sacred space, and when you're compatible with somebody creatively it often opens up other channels, because you're kind of sharing all of yourself." She continued, "I'm really grateful that this movie has brought him into my life that way."
Fast forward to just last week, the couple announced that they were engaged after two years of dating. Kravitz, 34, and Tatum, 43, were spotted in matching Halloween costumes as Rosemary and Rosemary's "baby," respectively, and Kravitz was spotted sporting what looked like an engagement ring. Sources confirmed exclusively to PEOPLE that the couple is newly engaged, so big congrats are in order!
Channing Tatum and Zoë Kravitz are seen arriving at Kendall Jenner's Halloween party on October 28, 2023.MEGA/GC Images
On the heels of this exciting news, here's a look back at Zoë Kravitz's dating history and the "bittersweet" endings that led her to what might be her best beginning yet.
A Deep Dive Into Zoë Kravitz's Relationship History
Ben Foster (2007-2008)
Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage
It is speculated that Kravitz and actor Ben Foster dated between the years 2007 and 2008, though neither actor has ever publicly confirmed the relationship. Despite being spotted together at different events both on and off the red carpet, whether they were an item or not was kept private. Nevertheless, Ben Foster, whom she co-starred with in the movie Birds of America, seems to be her earliest Hollywood relationship.
Michael Fassbender (2010-2011)
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This relationship was never confirmed in the media, although the photos, which you can find through a simple Google search, can tell you that love was in the air for a time with these two. Kravitz and Michael Fassbender met in 2010 on the set of X-Men: First Class.
Their 12-year age difference might point to this being more casual than long-term, with Kravitz being 22 at the time of the fling and Fassbender being 34.
Penn Badgley (2011-2013)
Jamie McCarthy/WireImage
Yes, that Penn Badgley. Following his split from his Gossip Girl co-star Blake Lively, Badgley entered a relationship with Kravitz that lasted two years before losing its steam. For most of the relationship, Kravitz didn't speak much about the You star. He, however, was quoted referring to the love he shared with Kravitz as one that was "earth-shattering."
In a 2013 interview with Movie Line, he spoke of the way 22-year-old Kravitz changed him and inspired his portrayal of Jeff Buckley in Greetings From Tim Buckley, saying about their relationship, "At that time I was falling madly in love in a way that was changing me and opening me up." He added, "I was kind of going through what Jeff [Buckley] was going through emotionally in the movie in the sense that the worlds of music and love and women and art were opening up to me. Honestly, I needed it. It was like this cosmic intervention where, if you're going to play somebody like Jeff you've got to at least be in love, you know?"
"And being in love, real, true, earth-shattering love – even though it sounds hyperbolic I really was going through it — helped me be as good as I could be," Badgley continued about Kravitz and her influence on his performance.
The relationship reportedly came to an end in June 2013.
Karl Glusman (2016-2020)
Foc Kan/WireImage
Kravitz met actor Karl Glusman through a mutual friend in 2016 and began a relationship with him sometime after. By now, you might notice that the actress has a pattern of keeping things about her love life private, and her relationship with Glusman was no different. The Big Little Lies star quietly dated Glusman from 2016-2018 before announcing their engagement in October 2018 with Rolling Stone. It would later be revealed that she was proposed to in January 2018. She kept the news under wraps for so long by wearing her ring around her neck instead of on her finger.
The couple tied the knot in 2019 but would split 18 months later, with Kravitz filing for divorce. In a March 2022 interview with ELLE, she confirmed that there was no bad blood about their ending, even referring to her ex as an "incredible human being."
"It really is less about him and more about me learning how to ask myself questions about who I am and still learning who I am, and that being okay. That’s the journey I’m on right now," Kravitz explained to the mag.
Channing Tatum (2021-Present)
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The Magic Mike star and the Batman actress have been reportedly "inseparable" since his casting for the forthcoming film Pussy Island back in 2021. Though they crossed paths before in 2017 while voicing the animated characters in The Lego Batman Movie, Kravitz and Tatum (who were also in other relationships at the time) wouldn't connect until 2021, both divorced and happily single. A common thread between the pair seems to be a mixture of mutual admiration and creative compatibility.
Tatum sang Kravitz's praises for the work she was doing behind the camera for Pussy Island in a July 2022 interview with ET. "I'm in awe," he said of her directorial debut, adding that when he was at the helm for the 2022 film Dog as co-director he "barely survived" but that Kravitz was "killing it." He also said that with his role in her film being so different from others he has played in the past, it was nice to be directed by someone who "saw me."
He continued about Kravitz, "She's got a weird gift for that. She sees right through a lot of people's stuff and really, just who they are to her is really simple. She's one of the more intentional people I've ever met in my life."
Kravitz also gushed about Tatum in a GQ cover interview in 2022, calling the actor "a wonderful human." She told the mag, "He makes me laugh and we both really love art and talking about art and the exploration of why we do what we do. We love to watch a film and break it down and talk about it and challenge each other."
Additionally, the 34-year-old Kimi actress recalled for the mag how much of a saving grace Tatum was for her on the set of their film. She said, "Whether it was making me tea or pouring me a drink or going to whip someone into shape or whatever — he really was my protector and it was really wonderful and sweet."
"I think if you can do something like that together, it's a good test. And we came out even stronger," she added.
Congratulations once again to the happy couple!
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In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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This shift is a significant change for couples. Let’s face it: no one wants to be in a sexless marriage or relationship. But how can couples effectively confront the impact of fading physical intimacy on the overall health of their enduring partnership?
"I have found that many factors influence one's desire to dive, and it is often not a majority of just one thing. Most people assume that if they don't desire [sex], they are no longer physically attracted, but in my experience, that has little to do with it most of the time," explained Brittanni Young, LMFT, CST.
"Some of the heavy contributors that I see most often include excessive goal orientation towards orgasm, people not prioritizing their own sexuality, and the landfill of ‘should’s’ that develop from toxic sexual scripts created long ago in upbringing," she added.
Furthermore, these issues are not exclusive to any particular orientation, but it does manifest differently.
Young is a licensed marriage and family therapist, sexologist, and board-certified sex therapist who practices in Georgia and Florida. She has worked in the sexology field for over a decade. Young helps couples and individuals looking to get through challenges of all facets facing sexuality and intimacy, such as desire mismatch, over-compulsion, and dysfunctions. She recently launched a deck of intimacy connection cards called "Show Me Your Cards." Young is working on another product that helps teach children to consent and negotiate appropriate touch. She sat down with xoNecole to discuss what causes the decline in the bedroom, the myth of 'lesbian bed death,' and recommendations on overcoming "bed death."
The Decline In Intimacy
Intimacy often dwindles within relationships, a phenomenon triggered by various factors such as stress, the insidious monotony of routine, and the toxicity of unresolved conflicts, to name a few. While couples manage daily life, exchanging intimate desires and concerns may take a backseat. Sadly, this gradually erodes the closeness once shared in the relationship.
"Typically, the first thing I do when working with a couple on desire challenges is rule out medical causes by referring them to their primary care physician or other provider they are working with," Young shared. "There are times when unmanaged or mismanaged conditions factor into low desire levels. Also, many medications can wreak havoc on keeping desire levels up, such as antidepressants, SSRIs, anti-anxiety, and blood pressure medications, to name a few."
Jeff Bergen/ Getty Images
"Next, I look at the state of the relationship. If there is dissatisfaction in the relationship, then it definitely affects how close and intimate one wants to be to another. There are also plenty of individual factors one can bring into the equation, such as low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, feelings of shame or guilt around one's own sexuality, and external life stressors that can get in the way. I find that life stressors can be a big one for folks, as once you get in the habit of not prioritizing sex, it tends to stick," she added.
Fortunately, there are ways to prevent "bed death." It can involve prioritizing your wants and open communication about sexual needs.
"What tends to be effective for all couples is taking an inventory of how satisfied they are with their sexual behaviors and engagement. Being truthful in this vein can be the start of unlocking inhibitions that can keep you from seeking out and being genuinely vulnerable in intimate spaces," Young explained. "Next, I suggest opening up lines of communication around these truths. When people assume that nothing can be done, hope is lost."
The Myth Of 'Lesbian Bed Death'
The notion of "lesbian bed death" perpetuates a simplistic and inaccurate stereotype about the sexual dynamics within lesbian relationships. Contrary to the myth, the experience of a decline in intimacy is not universal among lesbian couples. The diverse spectrum of relationships among women challenges this oversimplified narrative, emphasizing that the complexities of sexual dynamics extend beyond stereotypical assumptions.
"The notion of 'lesbian bed death' is based on a research study done by Pepper Schwartz in 1983 that found that lesbian couplings fell behind in sexual frequency compared to heterosexual and gay male couplings," Young revealed.
"Several other studies [after] have replicated these findings but give very little information about sexual satisfaction. Despite there being more research needed overall in the sexuality field, more recent research did find that when it comes to the length of sexual encounters, lesbian couples had the longest duration of encounters. To that end, sexual quality over quantity is a better marker of satisfaction, and that is what I pay most attention to in my work. With that said, dissatisfaction can happen in all couplings over time," the sexologist continued.
Factors influencing reduced intimacy among lesbian couples may include communication challenges, societal pressures, and individual variations in libido. Menstruation can also play a role, with some couples navigating discomfort or hormonal changes during this period.
"There are certainly some nuances that come into play with lesbian couples that differ from heterosexual or other-oriented couples. As I stated earlier, physiological factors can factor into the rise and fall of libido. The hormone fluctuations that come from menstruation and menopause can impact desire levels, and it is double present in lesbian couples. Another nuance is the lack of a sexual script from society on lesbian sexual behavior. There are patriarchal roots to sexual research, which have created our societal norms that tend to leave out anyone who isn't heterosexual," Young stated.
Overcoming The Challenges
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While 'bed death' challenges couples, solutions are within reach. By identifying and addressing the underlying causes, couples can rekindle the flame of intimacy and ensure a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
"In the words of Esther Perel, another sexual professional in the field, 'love enjoys knowing everything about you; desire needs mystery.' I recommend keeping it in the front of your mind, prioritizing, and keeping it interesting. Be open to learning more about your own sexuality every day, as well as your partner. You are always growing; what worked for you 20 years ago may not be the same today. Stay curious with one another and be open to exploring new ways to pleasure. You deserve it," Young said.
For instance, Young advised that couples should "keep sexual encounters light and playful." And not be afraid to introduce new elements, such as toys.
"Touch often in ways that are consensual and feel safe! I made 'Show Me Your Cards' to serve this purpose specifically. Just because you do not feel in the mood to go all the way does not mean you aren't in the mood to hold hands, exchange body massages, or dance together. Connecting often in any physical form, as long as it feels pleasurable, still counts as 'being in the mood,'" she said.
Overcoming the hurdles of "bed death" and debunking myths surrounding 'lesbian bed death' offers a unique perspective for couples grappling with the difficulties of sustaining a connection. Learning the proper ways to work through a sexless relationship can help foster a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
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