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Working Moms On The Reality Behind 'The Balance' Of Motherhood And Entrepreneurship
Unpopular opinion, but as a mother, you may have to choose your career over parenthood sometimes. Let’s talk about it.
Disclaimer: just know that we celebrate girl bosses over here! That includes the 9-5 girlies and women who take the non-traditional route of entrepreneurship. But sometimes, I feel like working moms deserve their own set of flowers. With so much red pill content today that centers around telling women who they are and how they should live, shout-out to the women who continue to denounce this way of thinking while fighting to make a name for themselves - outside of their families and children.
To those women, this is for you.
WHAT WE’RE NOT TALKING ABOUT ENOUGH
Evelyn Hambrick and her daughters
Photo by Jamel Hope
A speech that lives rent-free in my head would have to be the 2014 commencement speech given by Shonda Rhimes at Dartmouth. That’s where the Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal creator recalled learning that she can’t be everything to everyone, including her own children. “If I am killing it on a Scandal script for work, I’m probably missing bath and story-time at home,” Rhimes shared. “If I am at home sewing my kids’ Halloween costumes, I am probably blowing off a script I was supposed to rewrite.” That’s the reality of being a mom who’s also a businesswoman. But we don’t have to look outwards to Hollywood for such examples.
We can also talk about Evelyn Hambrick, a business owner who works out of Huntsville, Alabama. “I have more moments than I like to admit; moments where me being an entrepreneur trumps me being a mother,” Evelyn tells xoNecole. The mother of two began her entrepreneurial journey during the pandemic back in 2020 and currently runs four businesses. Evelyn says she used her “shelter in” downtime to learn as much as she could about her passion, photography. As a result of that, she now owns a commercial property that operates as a photography studio while also owning and running a daycare.
Evelyn Hambrick
Courtesy
Evelyn was able to achieve all this after seemingly having to start over. “My husband left right after he found out I was pregnant,” she says. “I then moved in with my sister and her husband. I was actually on bed rest and couldn’t work because I was a high-risk pregnancy.” Evelyn has her village to thank for getting her back on her feet and for keeping her there. After her second child was born, Evelyn’s close family members decided to move to Huntsville, where they purchased a house together and helped support each other for nearly 10 years until Evelyn moved out in September 2023.
PUTTING YOUR DREAMS ON PAUSE
For some working moms, starting over can look a lot like starting from rock bottom, but for others, it could mean starting fresh after raising children. This is a story freelancer LaDwanya “LD” Roberts can also attest to. She is a wife and mother of three who’s worked as a producer in reality television for nearly 10 years. Almost immediately after graduating from Clark Atlanta University, LD, like so many other working moms, decided early on in her motherhood journey that she would be a stay-at-home mom until her children were old enough to be on their own. For LD, that also meant putting her producing dreams on pause.
Today, though, LD’s eldest is a freshman in college, which now means that new doors can open up for her. “When my kids were younger, I wouldn’t take a job out of state because I didn’t want to be away from them,” she says. “But now that they’re older, I can. And we have FaceTime now, thank God!” LD commends her hard-working husband, her parents, and her in-laws for being the support system she needed while working and raising her children.
“My husband is a good father and dependable,” LD says. “I know he’s going to make sure the kids eat at night and have dinner. He never complained. He’s a man’s man and took care of the bills.”
MOMENTS WORKING MOMS ARE ASHAMED TO ADMIT
L-R: LaDwanya “LD” Roberts and daughters
Courtesy
A well-balanced parental household should be the standard for every child, but we all know that it isn’t the reality for many. Evelyn says her co-parenting experience has not been what she thought it would be and is especially not reflective of the co-parenting dynamic she had growing up. “They had the perfect trade-off relationship. Instead of making my mom leave work, my dad took over,” Evelyn recounts. She adds, “(It) wasn’t until I was an adult that I learned they didn’t like each other, but they didn’t make it known to me at all.” Evelyn respects her parents for giving her a safe environment that wasn’t full of drama because they had mutual respect for one another.
Not much has changed today. Evelyn’s parents are just as hands-on in their grandkids’ lives. She’s grateful that her parents can be there, even when she can’t, “They don’t miss the fact that I am an entrepreneur and am busy.” Evelyn even recalls a day when she didn’t know her daughter was sick in school. It crushed Evelyn when she found out what happened next. “My mom picked her up even though I said I was available,” she says. “My child said, ‘I told the nurse don’t call you because I know you’re busy and working.’” Evelyn continues, “I felt horrible. That day, I was free, but she didn’t know it. I was trying to surprise them when they got home from school. The fact she had to tell someone outside our household bothers me.”
LaDwanya “LD” Roberts
Photo by Ramseys Rivas
So yes, working moms are missing a lot of important moments, and unfortunately, so do their children. But both LD and Evelyn always work to make sure their children know the why. As for LD, “They understand that things cost and life is expensive. We have a home, food, things they want, (but) mommy and daddy have to go to work. They’re never upset (that) I have to work. They (just) wish it wasn’t such long hours.”
As for Evelyn’s children, she says her eldest child tells her all the time that she wants to be a photographer like her and that she wants to own businesses. As for her youngest, “My 4-year-old has been with my mother since she was born. She has not had me like my oldest. All she knows is me being gone. After one day, she tells me she’s ready to go back to her GG.” Evelyn says she tells her daughters regularly that she will shut everything down if they need her to.
THERE’S LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
Today, these hard-working moms are still working to be an example to their children that it’s important to pursue your dreams and passions. LD is now setting her sights on being a casting director and is currently working as a casting assistant, something she’s been passionate about for some time. She says, “I realized life is short, and I want to go after what I want.” Her advice to working moms is, “The most important thing you can do is read your word, stay grounded, whatever you believe in, do that.”
Evelyn believes that it’s a good idea to include your children in what you’re doing. She offers advice to fellow entrepreneurial moms, “I let my children be with me when I’m working so they can see what I’m doing when I’m not around. If you quit too soon, you’ll miss your blessing. Just wait. The biggest mistake you can do is give yourself a date of when it will happen; you can give yourself a goal (though).”
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Feature image by MoMo Productions/ Getty Images
How This New Bond Repair Line Transformed One Mother's Postpartum Shedding Into The Ultimate Curl Comeback
This article is in partnership with SheaMoisture
For Crystal Obasanya, her wash day woes came shortly after her son did. The beauty and lifestyle content creator had been natural for years, but during postpartum, she quickly learned about one reality many mothers can relate to experiencing: postpartum hair loss. “Sis had thinning hair. Sis had split ends,” she shared about her hair changes in a Reel via xoNecole.
Over a year into her postpartum journey, Crystal explained she also had dry, brittle hair, noting that keeping it hydrated before pregnancy had already been “a task.” The 4C natural recalled going from thick hair during pregnancy to a thin hairline due to postpartum shedding as “devastating.” When it came to strengthening and revitalizing her hair, the new SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection was just the thing she needed to elevate her damaged coils to revive and thrive status and get them poppin' again.
SheaMoisture is providing us with the cheat code for transforming dry and damaged strands into thriving and deeply nourished crowns. By unveiling their 4-step hair system, the SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is equipping you with the tools to reverse signs of hair damage caused by protective styling, heat, and color and is uniquely formulated for Type 3 and 4 hair textures.
The haircare system revives damaged natural hair by repairing and rebuilding broken hair bonds through a game-changing combination of HydroPlex Technology and AminoBlend Complex, a unique blend of fortifying amino acids formulated specifically for curly and coily hair. Scientifically proven to reduce breakage by 84% and make your hair six times stronger (vs. non-conditioning shampoo), the collection infuses your hair with the nourishment it craves and the strength it deserves.
All five products of the SheaMoisture Bond Collection are infused with natural strengthening ingredients like Amla Oil and fair-trade shea butter. The collection consists of the 4-step breakage-fighting Bond Repair system, as well as the Bonding Oil.
“When trying it out, I quickly noticed that my hair felt revived and renewed, and my curls were so hydrated,” Crystal said while using the Amla-infused Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner. “I also felt my hair strands were stronger.” So much so that the influencer felt brave enough to get her hair braided shortly thereafter. “I can definitely say that I will be keeping it in my hair wash routine,” she added in the caption of her Reel about her positive experience using the products.
SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is making bond-building a key player in your wash day routines and the purveyor of life for thirsty manes. Because who doesn't want stronger, shinier, happier hair?
Step One: Bond Repair Collection Shampoo
Rejuvenate your hair with SheaMoisture Bond Repair Shampoo, your go-to solution for luscious locks. Packed with hella hydration power, this shampoo adds moisture by 60% while removing buildup without stripping your strands. This shampoo gently cleanses impurities while significantly enhancing shine, smoothness, and softness.
The Bond Repair Collection Shampoo is the first step in the 4-step Bond Repair system, all of which are powered by the uniquely formulated AminoBlend, and HydroPlex, SheaMoisture’s technology that rebuilds hair strength at its core.
Step Two: Bond Repair Collection Conditioner
Tailored to repair styling damage, this creamy conditioner locks in 12x more moisture than standard non-conditioning shampoos, boosting damaged hair strength by 1.5x with significantly less breakage. The creamy SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Conditioner deeply hydrates, enhances manageability, and leaves your hair looking healthier and shinier.
Step Three: Bond Repair Collection Masque
This Ultra Moisturizing reparative masque is a moisture-rich game-changer for those dealing with the aftermath of hair damage caused by styling. The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Masque delivers 13 times more moisture compared to non-conditioning shampoos, ensuring your hair feels nourished and soft. Designed to repair and rejuvenate, this masque significantly strengthens damaged hair — making it twice as strong while reducing breakage.
Step Four: Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner
Elevate your curl game with SheaMoisture’s Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner. Lightweight and hydrating, the Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner provides 12x more moisture than non-conditioning shampoos and tames frizz with 24-hour humidity control. Designed to define curls and coils, the leave-in conditioner enhances softness and shine allowing you to detangle effortlessly.
Bonding Oil
The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Bonding Oil is a multitasking all-in-one formula that acts as a heat protectant and provides the hair with moisture, strength, shine, damage protection, and intense nourishment. This lightweight oil not only offers 24-hour frizz and humidity control but also fortifies your tresses, making them up to 5 times stronger with significantly less breakage.
Featured image courtesy
Looking for ways to level up your solo sex sessions or your partnered sex play? Entering the wonderful world of arousal oils might be exactly what the doctor ordered. As its name suggests, arousal oil arouses. And they might very well be the pleasurable vessel through which your mind-blowing orgasms can be beckoned. Specifically, arousal oils are a pleasure-enhancing sex lubricant intended to increase the sensitivity to your nipples, your vulva, or your clitoris, just to start.
With an ingredient list that can include the likes of CBD, ashwagandha, and essential oils, arousal oils act as an aphrodisiac in a bottle, maximizing intensity and heightening the levels of pleasure you feel, thereby making your climax that much more attainable.
Keep reading for our selection of some of the best arousal oils in the game right now.
Bloomi Luxe Arousal Oil
Described as a "sensual pleasure oil," the Luxe Arousal Oil by Bloomi is clean with plant-derived organic ingredients. With 2-4 pumps, a gentle massage with this oil-based intimacy oil is formulated to intensify pleasure to your clitoris, your vulva, your thighs, or anywhere else you care to use it, before and during the act.
Foria Awaken Arousal Oil
Not only do reviewers rave about the "incredible o's" from Awaken Arousal Oil, but this best-seller is also known for its sensuous aroma, slip, and feel. With the uncanny ability to enhance sensations, users of the product have reported reinvigorated orgasms and renewed sex lives. And all we have to say is, say less.
Mood Maker Pleasure-Enhancing Intimacy Oil for Couples
Amazon
The Mood Maker had us at hello. Christina Aguilera's sex oil is where luxury and intimacy meet. Thanks to the relaxation facilitated by magic mushrooms and pleasure-enhancing adaptogens, the Mood Maker lays the groundwork for easeful foreplay, sex, and even an encore. With its texture like silk and warm scent, the oil effortlessly sets the perfect mood for pleasure play and allows your body to follow suit.
Lure Deluxe Intimacy Oil
Sultry, clean, and moisturizing are the cornerstones of this intimacy oil. The oil is formulated with organic ingredients like MCT coconut oil and CBD, so there is no need to worry about throwing off your pH balance or leaving behind a sticky residue when using it for intimate moments. The silky texture provides a sensual slip that is all gas no brakes, creating a slip n' slide glide during partner play, as well as solo play.
Bonus points: since it's all-natural, it's also oral-friendly. So Deluxe Intimacy Oil is queening-approved.
Green Compass Intimacy Oil
Green Compass
Entice and awaken your pleasure and your senses with the Intimacy Oil by Green Compass. An intimacy oil made for every body, this oil is fragrance-free, paraben-free, and silicone-free and formulated with plant-based and organic ingredients. With ingredients like organic hemp flower extract, coconut oil, and jojoba oil, the pleasure felt and experienced in intimate areas becomes even more intense upon application.
FOCL CBD Arousal Oil
Loved by users for its "perfect texture," its "warm wonderful feeling," and the fact that it's "non-irritating," the CBD Arousal Oil by FOCL is definitely worthy of a spot in your tox boy. Like other CBD oils, the hemp-derived product is said to ease tension and promote blood flow, which are major keys to enhancing and maximizing your sexual pleasure.
Sensuva On Arousal Oil
Amazon
Looks like we saved the best for last. Available in Lite, Original, and Ultra to give you the ability to choose the intensity that suits your intimate moments best, the On Arousal Oil by Sensuva is said to be one of the most powerful arousal oils on the market with good reason. With a "unique, buzzing vibration sensation on the clitoris," in 1-2 drops, On Arousal delivers more sensation during sex, helps women achieve orgasms quicker and more intensely, and can also help curb any issues with vaginal dryness.
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Featured image by Getty Images