What 'Black Panther' Means To Me As The Mom Of A Black Son
I remember sitting in the movie theater on a hot summer night with my son and father. The new Marvel film Captain America: Civil War had just come out.
We were there for two reasons: one, my son is a huge fan of Captain America and two, my father caught wind that The Black Panther would make an appearance. An avid comic book fan, my father watched the film eagerly, anticipating the moment he'd be able to recognize T'Challa.
It was easy spotting Chadwick Boseman, being that he was a part of the very small representation of minorities in this film. The smile never left my father's face as he cheered, and my son did the same, staring up at his grandpa for approval when Black Panther's action scene came into play. I was partially embarrassed, but my heart was still swollen at the sight of happiness my father expressed. In his lifetime, he had seen his childhood hero on the big screen.
In the midst of my happiness, my heart broke in two when my son leaned over and asked me, "Why was the Black Panther actually black?"
Confused, I asked him to explain and he repeated his question. I quickly responded with, "Why not? He's actually more than a superhero, he's a king too and so are you."
He seemed to accept my answer and continued to watch the movie.
I fought back tears at the thought he believed that all superheroes are supposed to be white.
No matter the color suit of the hero in question, the commonality amongst them all was the fact they were white men. White men who were brave, strong, and always conquered over whatever obstacle that stood in the way of a successful victory.
In reality, there are very little visuals on television of black men displaying characteristics of being brave, strong, and always conquering over whatever obstacle standing in the way of a successful victory. The closest emulation I could think of that portrays those qualities in the black male are in sports. At my son's young age, he's not sure if he likes sports or not. He is, however, concrete on his preference of the characters wearing costumes with supernatural powers, making the world a better place again.
It makes sense for him to think that the super cool new character he'd never seen before, soaring through the air, and even at one point dominating his favorite character in the moment, Captain America, be white when he removed his mask. It would have played to the consistency that he's seen before in every superhero movie he's seen.
During the remainder of the movie, I thought of how the black man is represented in media as this overly stereotypical character that in many cases is not an accurate representation of real life at all. What broke me even more was the fact that I was now made aware of how that poor depiction of the black male has now found its way into my life with my own son, a young black male.
It was personal.
I didn't want him thinking that heroes only come in the color white. Furthermore, I didn't want him believing that he couldn't have an idol that wasn't white or, should he ever find himself in trouble in my absence, a white man would come and save the day. He needed to know that heroes are black men too.
So when I learned that Black Panther would get his own full-length feature film, I went to work. Apparently, so did Twitter, who wasted no time starting the #WhatBlackPantherMeansToMe, which reinforced my already turning wheels.
I bought the comic books and sat down with my son to read them. We watched the trailer over and over again as he became more and more excited. The newfound light in his eyes was something that I'll never forget for the rest of my life.
He was seeing what I'd known all along: Black men are kings and heroes.
For Halloween, my father bought him the complete costume of the Black Panther. He wore it proudly and plans to wear it to the premiere of the movie as well. He'd come a long way from me having to explain to him that he and Han Solo were not the same color during a long drive home.
This film is also important in the way young black boys view black girls that will one day be black women. The film features an abundance of darker-toned brown women as main characters, being warriors, protectors and heroes. Perhaps the most significant aspect of the portrayal of black women in this film is the fact that the love interest of the main hero is played by the melanin-rich Lupita N'yongo. When black men are given starring roles in big budget films, it is very rare to see them with a love interest that is of a darker skin tone.
Whether we acknowledge it or not, a failure to see these types of representation has an affect on how young boys perceive beauty around them.
Young black girls are young queens in the making, no matter the hue.
This movie is more than a movie. It's something that is monumental to our black youth, to our girls but especially our boys.
It's very hard for young black kids to believe an alternative concept when they don't see it represented in everyday life. Words cannot express how exhilarating it is to know that this is changing with this film. Not only will our young boys see a superhero that looks like them, our young girls will have the representation that has been missing from media all these years.
They will get to see that the possibilities are endless and they are indeed, young kings and queens in the making.
It's up to us as a community to support this movie so that it breaks records and we see more people of color on the big screen. Deeper than that, it's our job as a community to reinforce, promote, and support content, movies, music, television shows, any form of media, that promotes positive representations of black men and women. Our futures depend on it.
See you on the 16th.
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Whitney "As Told By Whit" Morrow is a South Carolina based blogger/writer and mother to an amazing seven-year-old. She has her first novel due out later on this year and you can bet her future is just as bright as her smile. Keep with her on Instagram, you won't regret it.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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My name is Yasmine Jameelah, and I’m a founder, journalist, freelance writer, and dog mama. Wellness is at the intersection of everything that I do.
Six years ago, I started a small wellness community on Instagram after embarking on a healing journey in my mid-twenties that I documented via a blog where I wrote about healing, therapy, celibacy, and growth after what felt like years of chaos. Six years later, that wellness community has blossomed into one of the largest online wellness platforms for Black women called Transparent Black Girl which has a reach of over five million Black women.
It still sounds crazy to say that aloud, to know that a 24-year-old girl planted the seeds of the life that this 30-year-old woman gets to live now.
While I was growing my company, because my love for writing was so strong, I went back to school and obtained my master's in journalism. I’ve worked as a freelance writer, an editor, and a frequent contributor to publications that I respect greatly, xoNecole being one of them! My journalism career has been a reflection of my passion and heart for wellness and the culture. My day-to-day is busy, but we manage to get it done, and on the days that I can’t, I give myself grace to do what I can with the time that I have.
My days consist of events, long walks with my dog, freelance pitching, and deciding what content creation and events will look like for my wellness collective, Transparent & Black.
Now, follow me on a random day in my life.
Morning
5:00 a.m.
My Goldendoodle keeps me on a schedule, so every morning, like clockwork, he wakes me up to use the bathroom and eat breakfast, at 5 a.m.! Am I usually over it first thing in the morning? 100%, but his being on a schedule challenges me to stick with mine and start the day on a productive note. He’s a wellness dog which means I feed him home-cooked meals and give him supplements daily to support his health, and he has a daily dental treat to keep his teeth healthy. Canine dental hygiene is imperative for a long life and a good smelling breath!
Today, I’m heading into the city, and I’ll be there almost all day, so when I’m gone that long, I take him to doggy daycare.
7:00 a.m.
Doggy daycare drop-off is filled with tons of barks, and my dog is practically jumping out of the car with excitement to see his friends. Now, some of y’all might be thinking, doggy daycare, sis, that’s too much for a dog! But it’s not, socialization is key for dogs, and so is keeping my house intact when I’m gone for long periods of time. Does he go daily? No, we aren’t rich (yet, we gotta manifest!), but when my dog is happy and experiencing play, and I’m happy attending events, I feel accomplished.
Having a pet is a serious responsibility, and I pride myself on knowing that I am invested in his mental and emotional health by encouraging his socialization with his friends.
7:30 a.m.
Headed to my local coffee shop to grab my go-to order. Iced coffee, a single shot of espresso, half and half, and 3 pumps of agave. Winter, spring, summer, fall, I am an iced coffee girl. I love it, especially after a workout where I’ve broken a sweat - nothing about having hot coffee after I’ve been sweating for over an hour feels good to me.
8:00 a.m.
Back home listening to Carlos King's commentary on YouTube in the shower (what can I say, commentary on reality TV drama relaxes me, don’t judge!) and prepping for the first stop on the agenda for today which is an event in the city. Without traffic, I’m about a 25-minute drive to Manhattan but it’s rush hour, so that 25 minutes is about 55 which means I have to head out soon so that I can arrive on time.
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9:00 a.m.
Headed to Manhattan for a Black History Month event with Meta, Peloton, and We The Culture. I wanted to take the train, but I ran out of time, so I hopped in an Uber because I didn’t want to be late, and I had my daily check-in with my best friend while I rode in the Uber. We talk daily and have since our early twenties to check in with each other. I'm grateful that while many aspects of my life have changed, this is still a constant. As we age, prioritizing our friendships for sure gets harder, but it’s not impossible in the least bit when both parties are invested.
9:30 a.m.
Emailing my editor from the car to ask for a deadline extension and sharing with her my ideas for pieces for the month! I’m grateful to have been on both sides of the journalism space. I’ve been a managing editor for years for publications, and I’ve also had the honor to work with managing editors, deputy editors, and editors-in-chief who have poured into me and understood how quickly my schedule can change, I’m honored at the magic we’re able to create together.
As a storyteller, from content that I share to my platform to pieces that I write, I’m having fun again in this season of my life, and I am loving it.
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10:00 a.m.
The event begins, and I can’t lie, when I host my own events, I’m not scared, but as a social anxiety girlie, events sometimes can be a little scary. I am naturally a very shy girl, but wellness events always feel like home to me. You don’t have to dress up; you can show up in workout gear because most of the time you’re experiencing some form of wellness and fitness even during the event. Moments into the panel discussion we experienced a seated meditation led by Peloton instructor Dr. Chelsea Jackson Roberts - talk about a way to kick the day off!
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The discussion hosted by Meta and Peleton touched on the importance of taking up space in industries and spaces where Black women and people are underrepresented, our self-care regimens, and We The Culture also shared how their work came to be. It was such a powerful event, and of course, we got the inside scoop on Peloton’s newest machines! I also spoke with some people (it’s important to me to always say hello to those who put on the event) and ended up sitting next to THE Pilates girl herself, Raven Ross. She was such a sweetheart, and we talked about our love for Pilates and the importance of community events like this.
Afternoon
2:00 p.m.
Leaving the event, I headed to Sephora to see if I could find Topicals' always sold-out Slick Salve, but to no avail, so I pulled out my phone and ordered it on their website as I walked back to the train station to head back home. I am a girl who loves to walk, so I’m always down for a long walk to the station and a walk back home when time permits, so that’s exactly what I did. I did about four miles just between walking back to Penn Station and walking back to my apartment once I got off the train!
4:30 p.m.
My phone started blowing up because the piece that Oprah Daily asked me to write was published for Black History Month, and my face was on Oprah’s website, AOL’s homepage, and the publication's Instagram page! My mama, aunties, cousins, dad, and everyone who has known me since I was a little girl were beyond proud and excited to see that and how far I’ve come.
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Evening / Night
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5:30 p.m.
I headed to my gym in my home (praise the Lord for apartment amenities) for a quick swim before I picked up my dog from daycare, and then I headed to the sauna and ran into a neighbor who is another successful Black woman killing it in her own right in the tech space. We chatted about life updates and the importance of taking time for our mental health and it felt good to ground myself with swimming. Much of my life has changed in the past few years, but swimming has remained a constant.
Whenever something amazing happens I soak it in and then immediately do what I can to ground myself to stay present, humble, grateful, and focused on what’s ahead.
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6:30 p.m.
It started raining badly and my anxiety is all over the place on the drive to pick up my dog but I practice some deep breathing and remind myself that I have had a calm day and it can end calm as well. I don’t need to rush there, I can drive at a pace that feels good to me. My mother calls to check on me because she sees the weather is terrible and asks me to let her know when I arrive safely.
7:00 p.m.
I arrived at doggy daycare, and the rain is calming down. Can y’all see why I take him?! They watch him all day! My dog is exhausted in the best way and ready to go home and sleep, and I can sit down and relax when we head back home.
9:00 p.m.
I’m back home, took a bath, ordered my favorite healthy Chinese takeout (beef and shrimp with broccoli, light sauce with brown rice), and I’m on the couch with a glass of sustainable wine from one of my favorite Black-owned brands, House of Brown watching Sistaswith a side of kimchi to enjoy with dinner. My candles are lit, I’m letting the highs of the day sit with me and stillness come over me as I prepare for bed.
10:30 p.m.
I took my dog out for a final walk, gave him his bedtime treat, and it’s lights out to prepare for another day.
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