

It was several years ago when I realized that I no longer had edges on the left side of my head. I was completely bald with patches of hair, and it looked as awful as I felt. What I was experiencing looked very similar to what Naomi Campbell went through back in 2010.
I cried for weeks after realizing that I was balding, and I felt absolutely powerless.
After a while, I knew that I had to do something to regrow my hair, so I put on my big girl pants, and made a doctors appointment.
Following an examination, my doctor gave me some iron pills and told me to ditch the weaves. After a few months of TLC, and a haircut, my edges were healthier and stronger. But the frightening experience is one I'll never forget.
What I was suffering from, and what Naomi was suffering from in that infamous 2010 photo, is called traction alopecia, and it's not a laughing matter. Many black women suffer from the same medical issue, and there are a number reasons why, including stress and the methods used to care for black hair.
Alopecia is a medical term for hair loss. There are many types of alopecia, but the kinds that impact black women the most are traction alopecia, which happens when the edges of your hair start balding, and alopecia caused by chemical straighteners.
Telling black women to give up braiding their hair, or to stop using chemical relaxers and straighteners, is easier said than done. One reason being is that many employers have imposed unrealistic hair standards on black women, and it has been happening for decades.
History proved that as black women followed their employer's hair standards in order to keep getting their checks, they sometimes ended up bald or balding, and what woman really wants that?
HOW EMPLOYERS KILLED BLACK WOMEN'S HAIR
If you look at a black woman with a curly hair texture, you'll notice that her hair naturally grows upward and outward, but a lot of people don't realize that, especially some employers.
Even with minimal education on black hair, some employers still do not feel black women rocking afros, because they see the style as "political," "faddish," or "exaggerated." For instance, back in 2007, a Glamour Magazine editor, who offered some workplace dress code dos and don'ts to a group of black women lawyers, caused a firestorm when she told the group that wearing afros in the workplace was a "big no-no." Lawyer Magazine reported,
An Afro. A real no-no, announced the 'Glamour' editor to the 40 or so lawyers in the room. As for dreadlocks: How truly dreadful! The style maven said it was 'shocking' that some people still think it 'appropriate' to wear those hairstyles at the office. 'No offense,' she sniffed, but those 'political' hairstyles really have to go.
According to Genie, a beautician and hair loss specialist in the Atlanta area who has been treating hair loss for more than three decades, she's seen plenty of black women left out of jobs for not wearing their hair the way it naturally grows. She said that even after the government passed the Civil Rights Act in 1964, which addressed dress code discrimination, black women still had trouble finding jobs because of their hair. So they did what they had to do to get a check, and paid a lot of money to have chemically straightened hair.
"We couldn't get jobs as secretaries, customer service [representatives], cashiers, because we didn't have [our hair] straightened," she said. To help these women, Genie would install capless wigs on her clients, which allowed the scalp to breath, without causing damage to the their hair follicles.
Unfortunately, a lot of women can't wear wigs to some jobs, including service members with jobs that require them to not wear them due to safety hazards. Bobby Spence, a Virginia-basedTrichologist and Hair Loss Specialist, says that military hair standards that require black women to wear slicked ponytails, micro braids, or tight cornrows, are enforced because it allows the service member to put on kevlar helmets, or military-approved headwear. But those hairstyles, coupled with sweat and germs that fall on the scalp while they're working, have been known to completely destroy black hair, which could result in some severe cases of alopecia.
"Being in the military, you have to wear ponytails and keep your hat on," Bobby said. "So think about all the years of putting your hair in a ponytail, all that traction that's going to your temple, and your edges are breaking off every time. That causes hair loss."
But employers aren't completely to blame for hair loss in black women. A lot of hair care techniques for black women are passed down generationally, but what isn't often passed down are proper techniques that keep alopecia in mind.
GENERATIONAL TECHNIQUES AND THE HUSTLE TO GET YOUR DOLLARS
Bobby said that generational hair care techniques are definitely one reason why hair loss is so prevalent among black women. While tight ponytails with barrettes and beads, chemical or heat straighteners, and tight braids, helps black children maintain cute hair styles, it can also cause a lot of damage to it.
He says that when it comes to maintaining healthy hair in children with coarse hair textures, the best thing a mother can do is to let the child's hair grow naturally, or use techniques that do not put too much strain on their hair.
"Think about the average African American woman," he said. "From a child, what happens is is that your hair is really thick, and mom is like, 'Oh I'm going to put a texturizer in their hair to break it down and make it easier to manage.' Okay, well that's where it starts, because you have a chemical now."
Genie and Bobby both said that they've had clients who told them that they've used "kiddie perms"
in their hair because they think that it is more mild than a regular relaxer, but they both disagree with this line of thinking. A chemical is a chemical, and no matter how mild it is, it can still cause hair damage and breakage.
Genie said that she's seen some hair dressers go as far as telling their clients that they're using a kiddie perm in their hair, when they were really using an extra strength chemical relaxer. On purpose. Bobby has seen hair dressers do it, too, and he says that they do it because they want your money. Especially when it comes to using keratin treatments.
"[It's] A way to take your money, and charge you $200-$300 because it's a form of a relaxer," Bobby said. "Anything that takes your coarse hair and makes it straight, it's a chemical. "
The good news is that if you have alopecia, or if you're leery of using chemicals in your hair, there are techniques you can apply to keep it healthy. Celebrity beautician Mushiya Tshikuka, break-out star of WE TV's reality show "Cutting It In The ATL," and owner of The Damn Salon in Atlanta, says that you first have to identify the technique that you're using that's causing your hair loss.
"It's not necessarily the hairstyle, it's the technique," She said. "[For example,] two different people can do box braids, but one is doing it absolutely way too tight, and another one is doing it considering the health of the person's hair. The technique that's used is what's different."
Mushiya says that one great technique to help grow your hair while battling alopecia is to use clip-in hair extensions. She says that one of the reasons why she created Runway Curls, her exclusive line of Ethiopian textured virgin hair extensions, was to help her clients battling hair loss. The clip-in extensions from her hair line, which should be available for purchase within the coming months, can be blended with natural hair without causing too much tension on the hair, while still allowing you to look and feel fabulous.
HOW TO STOP ALOPECIA BEFORE IT STARTS
The best way to keep alopecia at bay is to not put too much tension on your hair, no matter how beautiful the hairstyle is. Bobby recalled a client whose weave hairstyle was so tight that he couldn't help her after her scalp grew bumps that started leaking as a result of the tightness of her braids underneath her weave.
"She called her [stylist] back after she put the weave in, and she said, 'Oh my God...I have such a headache because the weave is so tight, I can't even sleep because it's so tight,'" Bobby recalled. "So the stylist said, 'Don't worry. After a couple of days, it will loosen up a little bit.' After a couple of days it didn't loosen up. Literally, when she came to me...she had puss bumps all over her scalp. I had to refer her to a dermatologist so he could actually treat that condition, because it was even beyond my control."
Genie, Bobby, and Mushiya all suggest that if you are going to wear weaves, make sure that you keep your scalp clean, washed, and moisturized.
"African American hair is very textured and thus prone to dryness," Mushiya said. "Dryness causes breakage... and that stress on the hair will cause alopecia as well. And it's important that women understand that their hair needs to be moisturized, and the best way and first way to moisturize our hair is by using H2O [water]."
Mushiya also suggests that you shampoo your hair more often than once every three weeks or once a month. "A lot of time black women want to wash their hair once every month, or once every three weeks...that's the most ridiculous one can do," she said. "It gets drier and drier, and [your hair will] break. When we moisturize our hair, it's important that we use good products that doesn't strip our natural oils that our scalp produces. Those natural oils are important because it stops everything from being dry, and stops breakage."
Bobby also says that if you're suffering from hair loss, you should contact a physician before consuming biotin. He says that African Americans naturally have oily skin, and biotin, which is typically prescribed by doctors to help your skin produce more collagen, and it will cause you to suffer from acne.
"I see it all the time," Bobby said. "Seven out of 10 people I see who takes biotin have acne."
He says that if you are looking for a supplement to grow your hair, you should ask your doctor about using sulfur (MSM) supplements instead. He also suggests that you increase your water and healthy food intake."Your hair is made of 16 amino acids. Believe it or not, a lot of those amino acids, you can get through your diet. A lot of those amino acids found in your hair shaft is called l'cysteine. L'cystine if found in things like turkey or a lot of fruits and vegetables. So you can literally feed your hair with the right diet."
Bobby made it clear that weaves and generational hair care techniques aren't totally to blame for alopecia. Besides stress, hair loss in black women may be an indicator of a deeper medical condition.
"When you start see your hair starting to thin out over time, your ponytail didn't have the thickness it once had, your edges are thinning out, it could be because you're having an iron deficiency," Bobby said. "It could be from a hormonal imbalance, it could be a vitamin D deficiency...or a thyroid imbalance...or you could be be pre-diabetic. So there are other things that can affect your hair besides traction and chemical alopecia."
Bobby, Mushiya, and Genie say that if you see your hair thinning, or balding, you should seek professional help immediately. As long as the hair shaft isn't damaged, anyone can recover from alopecia. But if the shaft is damaged, you're pretty much screwed.
If you are suffering from alopecia, there are several other things you should probably keep in mind when it comes to your self esteem. Take a look at those tips in the gallery below.
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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If you’re anything like me, you eat up horoscopes, Myers-Briggs, and any other tool out there to learn more about yourself. So when a girlfriend first put me on to human design as “a new personality tool" to tap into, I instantly jumped on it and then fell right off. Truth be told, I did not like my results! But more than that, I didn’t understand it. It wasn’t until I started getting flooded with posts (shout out to social media algorithms) about human design that I decided to give it another chance.
At the top of 2022, I started diving deeper into human design and used it to harness my energy, avoid burnout, and attract aligned opportunities to my life. And, honestly, it has been life-changing! So let’s get into it!
While other self-discovery tools may help us understand how we are, human design can help us understand our core energy power and how we can optimize it to be who we are meant to be. The practice combines aspects of Astrology, numerology, Kabbalah, chakras, and I Ching to create a blueprint unique to each individual.
At its core, human design is based on the understanding that individuals are composed of nine energy centers or chakras, which are all interconnected. These centers influence various aspects of our lives, including relationships, career choices, health, and emotions. By understanding our personal energy centers, we can begin to recognize patterns within our lives that may no longer serve us and make informed decisions about changes we would like to make to create more balance and harmony. What’s not to love?
Well, while all of that sounds great, let’s get back to my main point: I really didn’t understand what any of that meant when I first looked up human design. If that’s you right now, I’ll break it down for you below.
Finding Your Human Design Type
Human design is based on five distinct energy types: Generators, Manifestors, Projectors, Reflectors, and Manifesting Generators. Each type brings a unique set of gifts and challenges, but all require a conscious approach to channeling one’s power to be successful.
You can quickly search human design calculator to find your type. All you’ll need is your date, time, and place of birth.
Now I will need you to get that time of birth precisely right because I fumbled mine by a few minutes and got a completely different type. (If you’re not sure when you were born, it’s time to call your mama!)
When you get your chart, it will say several things, but today, we will focus on each type’s strategy (how to align with your type’s unique power) and not-self theme (how you’ll know you’re not in alignment with your strategy).
The Five Human Design Types
1. Generators
We’re kicking it off with Generators because it’s likely that you are one. They make up about 70% of the planet (including manifesting generators); as the name implies, these folks have undeniable energy. They are the busy bees of the world and were made to build.
If you’re a Generator, your strategy is to respond, not to initiate! That can feel confusing because we usually hear we should go out and chase what we want. But you have a unique way you should go about it.
When looking at a human design chart, Generators will always have a defined sacral center. This gives you the capacity to generate energy for life and work. Your strategy to respond also means that you need to trust your intuition. Instead of chasing after any and everything because you can, you need to use your intuition and your endless supply of energy “to respond” to those opportunities that light you up.
Check your chart for your “authority,” which will give you deeper insight into your decision-making process.
And trust me, opportunities will come left and right because being a Generator means you have an open and enveloping aura constantly pulling life towards you.
When you ignore the above by initiating or chasing opportunities instead of responding, not checking in with your authority, and choosing opportunities that are just “okay,” you will activate your not-self theme of frustration, feeling “stuck,” and you can even end up quitting.
When a Generator lives in alignment with their human design, they will experience their signature: satisfaction.
2. Manifesting Generators
Manifesting Generators are part of that 70% of generators in the world. And much of what is true for a Generator is true for a Manifesting Generator. Similar to pure Generators, Manifesting Generators respond to life through their defined sacral center before initiating and they utilize a strategy of waiting to respond before initiating energy.
The difference between Generators and Manifesting Generators is that Manifesting Generators are designed to move from responding to initiating quickly—basically, they go in hot! For this reason, you can sometimes seem restless or impatient as your human design type is coupled with the desire to act even though there is an intrinsic need to wait.
But just like that spark can burst into a flame that will get you going on your next project, it can quickly burn out when it’s not the right project. So once again, tune in to your authority and respond to the right opportunities.
When a Manifesting Generator lives in alignment with their human design, they will experience their signature: freedom.
3. Manifestors
Don’t shoot the messenger, but, Manifestors are the only ones that should be initiating. These folks make up about 9% of the world and are here to get things started! They are innovative, thriving off freedom and autonomy.
The unique Manifestor magic is in their strategy to inform. Not everyone's ready to handle a Manifestor's powerful impact. Your aura is naturally closed-off and repelling, which can be intimidating for some. Some folks may feel energetically off around a Manifestor and not even understand why. Others may perceive a Manifestor as arrogant.
But because you have a defined throat center in your chart, you are very influential when you speak. Opening up and informing other types about your big plans can relax the energy around you, allowing you to initiate in peace. While you may be tempted to move in silence, you’re not a sacral being like the Generators and may not have the energy to carry out your big plans.
Manifestors are among the types that are recommended to work less than 6 hours a day. Not only may you need to get buy-in for your plans, but not informing can set off your not-self theme anger which will only increase the resistance to your plans.
When Manifestor lives in alignment with their human design, they will experience their signature: peace.
4. Projectors
Now, remember how I told you to make sure you got the time right when calculating your type? Well, I first got a Manifestor, which is so dope, right? I’m the ONLY type that gets to initiate? Heck yes! Welp, I ended up being a Projector, and it turns out that instead of being able to initiate, my strategy was to…wait for an invitation? I was confused and lowkey disappointed, but now I get it!
To all my Projectors, we make up about 20% of the world. We are the seers and guides of society. We have an absorbing and penetrating aura that allows us to see deeply into people and things in a way that no other type can, so it’s easy for us to bring ideas to life by directing energy and helping others reach their potential. That’s why we make such fantastic leaders, guides, and advisors.
Our strategy is to wait for the invitation. While we may so easily see the inefficiencies at work or the incompatibility of our friend’s relationship, when we are not recognized and invited in to offer our two cents, we can quickly be hit with a “who asked you?” or worse, we are ignored.
Especially regarding careers, relationships, and big moves, we need to be recognized for our strengths and invited in to share more of them. That means we do not go out chasing opportunities, but instead, we work on embodying the kind of person invited to the opportunities we want and placing ourselves to be seen and recognized. Start tuning in. What are folks always telling you you’re good at, thanking you for, or telling you you should do? Those are already invitations for you from life.
This is hard because every message about success tells us to do the opposite. But what happens when you don’t do this? When you try to force things, and they inevitably don’t go as planned? We activate our not-self theme of bitterness.
But here’s the good news, when a Projector lives in alignment with their human design, they will experience their signature: success.
5. Reflectors
Finally, we have the rarest of them all! Reflectors comprise just one percent of the population and are the ultimate chameleons. Reflectors have a unique ability to observe and discern their environment in profound ways, deeply understanding the people, places, and energy around them.
They don’t have defined centers, so they can both accurately reflect their observations and easily become influenced by outside energy sources. Because of this, their strategy is to wait a lunar cycle before making decisions.
Reflectors must use this innate sensitivity to carefully choose who they spend time with, investing in those who feel elevating and expansive while avoiding anything toxic or draining.
Additionally, solo time is fundamental for Reflectors so they can take the necessary breaks from absorbing others’ energies and reset.
When a reflector lives in alignment with their human design, they will experience their signature: harmony.
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Featured image by Diana Simumpande on Unsplash
Originally published on February 6, 2023