Millennial Money Expert Tonya Rapley Says Bad Credit Kept Her From Living Her Best Life
Tonya Rapley, founder of My Fab Finance, believes that everyone has a financial story. For some, their story may begin as early as childhood, understanding the value of weekly allowances or saving coins in their piggy banks. For others, post-grad adulthood is the first true awakening, as they come to navigate student loan debt and fluctuating credit scores. No matter the chapter you find yourself in, with the right tools and guidance, there's always an opportunity to turn a page and become the hero of your financial journey.
For Tonya, her story began with parents who provided a solid foundation that cultivated her work ethic and nurtured her drive, "I came from a middle class family, so there was a lot of stability there. But my parents wanted to make sure that my sister and I knew how to get our own." At 15, having her own meant juggling a part-time job, maintaining academic honor roll, while paying for school lunches and even her prom dress. "My parents required a lot out of us when it came to the things we wanted to do, but that also required us to learn how to budget at an early age."
Courtesy of Tonya Rapley
As she grew into financial independence, Tonya always had a leveled relationship with her credit, still, she shares how her spending habits left her in a complicated financial situation, "I was using my credit to bridge the gap between my actual life and my ideal life, instead of understanding how to leverage credit and use it as a tool." After seeing just how much of an inconvenience it was to have a fair credit score, Tonya knew it was time for a change, "Having bad credit was keeping me from living my life as the adult I knew I wanted to be."
"I was using my credit to bridge the gap between my actual life and my ideal life. Instead of understanding how to leverage credit and use it as a tool."
Tonya's journey to correct her credit score led her to discover online message boards filled with people on the journey to reverse their financial missteps, "I started looking at what other people were doing and started to implement it in my own life." Learning from their insight allowed her to take her new found knowledge and impart it to her own community, thus creating, My Fab Finance.
Now, Tonya has reinvented My Fab Finance to be a full-scale, "holistic financial picture," providing millennials with financial education and support they need to become financially free and live an abundant life.
xoNecole: What was the inspiration behind starting My Fab Finance?
Tonya Rapley: When My Fab Finance started, we were focused helping people understand and improve their credit. Since then, it's more of a holistic financial picture, it's about how to put money aside for retirement, it's about understanding small business finances, and budgeting to help you achieve your financial goals. It has advanced to incorporate more priorities in people's financial lives, but I think it also served as accountability and a reminder. I think some people need that encouragement, so we're also "financial encouragers" - just letting people know that other people have done this, and you can do it too.
One thing I see you mention on your page is Scarcity vs. Abundance Mindset. In your own definition, how can we learn how to separate the two?
It goes into being mindful of it and calling it out when you see it. It's not like we deal with it once and we're over it, it's something you have to remind yourself of consistently and different circumstances can influence that. It's really about framing and being honest with yourself, are you adopting a scarcity mindset right now or an abundance mindset? And understand that a scarcity mindset is sometimes inherited, sometimes it's the collective culture you're a part of - the idea that everybody around you is struggling, so you don't see how you won't or when you do have thoughts of abundance, people try to bring you down. It happens. Be aware of it and switch this energy. Focus on all that is well instead of all that isn't. I say, "How am I going to become a catalyst for opportunity instead of just waiting for bad things to happen?
How are you learning to find a balance between motherhood, wife life, and entrepreneurship?
I am learning to ask for help. Prior to becoming a mother, I was like, "I can do it all by myself." I'm learning to ask for help because you need a village, you need rest to create and clarity to make things happen. I was feeling like, "Well, everyone struggled through this [stage of motherhood], so I have to struggle through it too." But no: utilize whatever resources you have available to you that will put you in the best position to do what you need to do. I think too often we pride ourselves on doing it without support instead of realizing that doesn't take away from your success. Lean on your support.
Courtesy of Tonya Rapley
Were there any habits that you picked up along your journey that you feel made the biggest shifts in your financial lifestyle?
Pausing was really helpful in achieving my financial goals. Pausing and asking myself questions like, "Why am I purchasing this? How will this help me accomplish my goals?" Also, being goal-oriented and being specific with my goals helped. Saying, "I want to be a millionaire," isn't not enough. Instead, we had to be specific about how much money we need to make in a day to hit our million-dollar target. Really being specific and gradual with my goals has been helpful in staying on track financially because I know on the micro level when I'm on track and when I'm not.
When it comes to having a positive relationship with money, what is one thing you may not have learned growing up that you look forward to teaching your son?
I look forward to teaching my son that he has options. When I was growing up, there was no other option for me but to go to college, so I look forward to encouraging him to be a creator and a problem-solver instead of a worker. When we look at people who are wealthy, it's because they have created solutions, so I want to teach him how to be solutions-oriented.
The biggest thing I want to give him is examples of what his reality can and should be. He has an education fund and a savings account that we contribute to regularly, so I know that we're doing what we need to do financially, but for me, the mindset piece is so much more powerful. I want to raise him as a proud, young Black man who knows he can do what he wants to do and that he has the resources to do it. And if things don't work out, it's not the end of the world for him. And I think so many people in our community are afraid to try because we don't have that leeway to fail.
What would your advice be to someone who may have shame associated with relationship to money, but wants to become a hero to their financial story?
Realize that shame does not serve you. Sometimes, it's not even ours, we can feel like we're failing at expectations that others have about us. Ask yourself, "Where are these feelings coming from?" I'm often motivated by asking myself, "What can I do to make me proud of myself?" I think pride counteracts shame. Give yourself more things to be proud about than to feel shame about. I think everyone experiences it, and that's OK, but it's about what we do with it that matters.
"Realize that shame does not serve you. Sometimes, it's not even ours, we can feel like we're failing at expectations that others have about us."
Tell us about your latest business endeavor, Club Loofah.
My current task at hand is to scale the Shopify business that I acquired, Club Loofah, and show people that you can actually buy an existing brand and scale that. You don't necessarily have to come up with the idea, you can buy someone else's idea, figure out where they came up short, grow it, and improve upon what they created. Sometimes we feel like we have to start from scratch, but when we look at the other side, they're not starting from scratch. How do we build on what other people have done and make it better? Black people are some of the most creative beings to walk this earth, so how do we lend that creativity so that we don't have to start from scratch and start over? We can just build on what's already established.
For more information on Tonya, follow her on Instagram and check out her services on, My Fab Finance.
Featured image courtesy of Tonya Rapley
- My Fab Finance - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- How To Buy A House With Bad Credit - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- The Authenticity Asset: An Interview With Entrepreneur Tonya Rapley ›
- How to Make Your Creative Passion Your Job with Tonya Rapley ... ›
- Tonya Rapley Gets Real About Money And Motherhood ›
- Mom+ Entrepreneur Atlanta, GA (@tonya.rapley) • Instagram photos ... ›
- Tonya Rapley | Black Millennial Mom & Entrepreneur ›
- My Fab Finance | Financial Help for Women ›
Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Simone Biles Is A Testament To The Power Of Adopting A "Lift As You Climb" Mentality
They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. I say the journey of a thousand miles begins with an open hand. Whether that hand is open to provide help or taken to receive it, it is important to understand that a journey is never completed alone. Nor is it completed without the thought that others might follow your path. It's all about "lifting as you climb."
Lifting as you climb is the idea that ascending to success should not be a lone undertaking, but rather a group effort in which everyone must lend support to those attempting to follow in the footsteps of others. This mentality sets the great apart from the good. It separates those who will be remembered in history from those who will be remembered for now.
During the 2024 Paris Olympics, many have exemplified the "lift as you climb" spirit as retired Olympians returned to support those in their sports. However, none have shown it with the grace and ease Simone Biles had. When returning to the games, Biles was seen as a fan favorite and a possible contender for gold. However, many were skeptical if she would have the appropriate mentality to be able to finish the games or if she would withdraw as she had done before.
Nevertheless, many hadn't realized that if Biles had left with ten medals or no medal, she would have still been successful in the Olympic games. Biles sparked an empowering movement that extended well beyond her personal achievements by imparting her wisdom, connections, and Olympic experiences. She kindled a flame in others, inspiring rivals and allies to reach heights they never thought imaginable. And in doing so, she not only made her own life better but also gave others a strong sense of fulfillment and purpose. As she embarked on her Olympic journey, the world watched in awe as she did so while shouting, "Mental health matters."
In her collective ascent, and possibly her final Olympic games, Biles' comeback allowed spectators to walk with her, hand in hand, while she showed us how to create a world where dreams take flight and potential knows no bounds. Here's how she did it:
Tokyo 2020
Simone Biles of the United States during the Artistic Gymnastics Podium Training at the Ariake Gymnastics Centre in preparation for the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games on July 22, 2021 in Tokyo, Japan.
Tim Clayton/Corbis via Getty Images
In the summer of 2021, to the shock of the athletic world, Simone Biles withdrew from the Tokoyo Olympic competition shortly after uncharacteristically balking mid-air while completing twists on the Amantar vault, and nearly falling over when landing.
Known as the "twisties," this dangerous phenomenon causes gymnasts like Biles to lose their perception of their body while in the air. This can result in serious injury because, without awareness, the gymnast can lose their sense of where they are and how they will land. Despite knowing this, Biles decided to compete in the Olympics for the sake of her teammates, even though she was aware of the hazards involved, her mental anguish, and she had been telling people that she was "fighting [her] demons" during her training.
When she competed, she debated her routine at the last minute and changed parts of it to make it safer. Though, in the air, she continued to experience the twisties, which resulted in her completing fewer turns than expected, and landing by chance on her feet. Nevertheless, instead of being thankful that she was uninjured, or concerned that she has developed the "twisties," Biles' first thought was of everyone else.
During an interview with Call Her Daddy podcast, she recalled what she was thinking at the time: "America hates me. The world is going to hate me, and I can only see what they're saying on Twitter now." She added, "Holy shit, what are they going to say about me... If I could've gotten on a plane and flown home, I would've done it. I thought I was going to be banned from America 'cause that's what they tell you: 'Don't come back if not gold. Gold or bust. Don't come back.'"
Immediately after she left the mat, Biles walked up to her coach and stated she had been done for the competition. Not wanting to take any chances, Biles made the bravest choice any competitor could make: she chose herself.
Centering Mental Health
In certain respects, Biles believed that by leaving the vaulting podium, she was letting her supporters and country down. Nevertheless, she understood that she needed to take care of herself in choosing to be the best version of herself.
In choosing herself, Biles centered her mental health.
“I just felt like it would be a little bit better to take a back seat to work on my mindfulness, and I knew that the girls would do an absolutely great job,” Biles explained in the press conference following her withdrawal in 2021. "And I didn't want to risk the team a medal for kind of my screwups, because they've worked way too hard for that. So I just decided that those girls need to go and do the rest of our competition."
After her withdrawal, Biles was met with some backlash, but overall she found solidarity. Many fans, athletes, and celebrities, even the president, commended the act from the gymnast and applauded her stepping aside for the sake of her mental health. Considering the act braver than the Olympic competition, Biles was applauded for mentioning mental health and the importance of maintaining mental wellness as an athlete, where outside pressure is endless.
In her two-year hiatus, the athlete addressed her anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, and advocated for mental health and wellness supports while also participating in therapy.
When she returned to the sport, many were happy the star had done so on her own terms. Simone Biles stated, “The Olympics was not how I expected it to go, but putting my mental and my physical health first will probably be one of my greatest accomplishments.”
At a 2023 event in Illinois, Biles opened up to CNBC about her mental health break, “I worked on myself a lot, I still do therapy weekly, and it’s just been so exciting to come out here and have the confidence I had before."
The World Champions Centre Gymnastics Academy
In 2014, Biles and her family created a gym for gymnasts to feel safe and train safely. Known as the World Champions Centre, the gym has become one of the nation's largest places to train top-level gymnasts. So much so, that five out of the fifteen women who competed in the Olympic trials this year came from the Houston gym.
Originally starting as a "construction project," WCC was created by Biles' parents after she had won her first world all-around title in 2013. However, after five years into their "project," the family realized quickly what they had when their gymnasts started to show continuous improvement.
By that time, Biles had won greatly in the 2016 Olympics, and the concept of training with elite groups instead of individually proved to be fruitful. Biles' form improved as the competition continued, and she displayed skills that no other woman had attempted. This would lead to more gymnasts and competitors seeking the gym to build and maintain their elite skills.
One of those gymnasts was Jordan Chiles.
Jordan Chiles
After being passed over for international meets, Jordan Chiles had grown weary of the sport and felt that she had been "stalled out" of the competition. By 2018, Chiles had been ready to quit, however, Biles changed her mind. She encouraged the gymnast to join her at the WCC and to train with her coaches Cecile and Laurent Landi. Once she finished high school, Chiles accepted Biles' invitation and moved from Vancouver, Washington to Houston, Texas in hopes of revitalizing her career and training with Biles.
"We have such an amazing bond. I wish I can explain it to you, but I don’t even know how our bond is so strong," Chiles has said of her and Biles' friendship. "I think we bring different things out of each other. I bring the young self out of her. I bring that, ‘Ooh, let’s vibe and go have fun.’ And then she brings out the motivation, and the encouragement, and the support."
As a result of the WCC and Biles' "lift as your climb" mentality, Chiles transformed into a consistent competitor and eventually found herself heading to the 2021 Tokyo Olympics. There, the then-20-year-old Chiles was slated to compete in two events but had to compete in two additional events in Biles' place following her controversial decision to pull out of the Tokyo Games. In the end, Chiles helped the USA Team win silver and attributed the medal's attainment to the influence of Biles.
Later, due to the WCC, Chiles would win gold and silver in the World Championship 2022 competition and gold in the 2024 Paris Olympics. Over the weekend, Chiles had to return the bronze medal she won in the floor exercise. As of August 12, the US is working to appeal that ruling made by the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) on Saturday.
Simone Biles' Comeback Season
During her two-year hiatus, Biles spent time trying to distance herself from the pressure of Tokyo, and the doubters who discouraged her return. She contemplated whether she would return to compete, and still considered whether she would be up for her third Olympics.
However, Biles decided she was ready to commit to serious training and committed to the 2023 U.S. Classics, also known as the Core Hydration Classic. In her return to gymnastics following the Tokyo Games, Biles found herself back in front of a crowd, but this time, she was in control. Now older, wiser, and more confident, Biles soared to victory in her first meet in years. Winning her sixth-career U.S. Classics all-around title (she has since won her seventh), the gymnast dominated receiving a gold medal performance on floor exercise, and a silver medal on uneven bars and balance beam routines.
"I feel really good about where I am right now, mentally and physically," Biles revealed in an interview post-meet. "I still think there are some things to work on in my routines, but for the first meet back, I would say it went pretty well. I'm very shocked. Surprised."
She would later go to the World Championships in October and win gold and silver there. After two years, Biles had secured multiple medals and accolades at national and international competitions and returned as a singular, monumental force in her sport.
Breaking More Records: Making Team USA
In preparing for her third Olympics, Biles surprisingly became even better. When creating her routines, she didn't repeat the same routines from her 2023 comeback season. Instead, she added more difficult skills. On the floor, she added a triple-twisting double tuck, which was named after Biles. She also included a new dismount combination on the bars. By the end of the 2024 U.S. Classics, Biles received yet another victory and was guaranteed a spot on the USA Team.
Known as a favorite, Biles was predicted to take medals home during the Paris 2024 Olympics. However, it was clear that though Simone was there to compete, winning wouldn't be her main priority. Instead, she would go out and support her teammates and have a little fun with her routine, now that she had gained her confidence back. Winning was a goal, but it had no longer become a necessity.
Regardless, the legendary medalist showed up and showed out, and broke records while doing so.
At the age of 27, Biles became the oldest gymnast to compete in the Olympics and win individual all-around gold. She led the USA Team to a gold team medal and acquired silver for her floor exercise. At the end of the 2024 Olympics, she had become an 11-time Olympian medalist. In doing so, Biles became the most decorated gymnast in history, displaying a comeback like no other.
Setting the Standards for Gymnastics: 'F.A.A.F.O.'
Before the start of the 2024 Olympic Games, beef broke out between Biles and gymnast MyKayla Skinner, who competed on the 2020 Olympic team together. This drama began after Skinner posted an unflattering video where she explained why she believed the current U.S. team was unsatisfactory.
“Besides Simone (Biles), I feel like the talent and the depth just isn’t what it used to be,” she said in a since-deleted YouTube video. “Obviously, a lot of girls don’t work as hard ... The girls just don’t have the work ethic.” Later on, after receiving backlash for her comments, Skinner attempted to retract her statement by offering a formal apology and clarifying statements to media outlets. However, the damage had already been done, and no amount of backpedaling could stop the current team from their feelings of resentment, especially Biles. As a result, the team embraced the motto of "Fuck Around and Find Out," or what Biles would later call "F.A.A.F.O."
In the process of "finding out," Skinner quickly ate her words when Team USA won the women's gymnastics team event during the Olympics' first week. After the win, Biles posted a photo of the team clutching their gold medals as she captioned the photo "lack of talent, lazy, Olympic champions." The caption provided another nod to Skinner, who has now blocked the gymnasts since she openly called her negative comments.
'Find Out': Simone Biles Claiming Silver and Gold
Simone Biles of Team United States poses with her Paris 2024 Olympic medals following the Artistic Gymnastics Women's Floor Exercise Final on day ten of the Olympic Games Paris 2024 at Bercy Arena on August 05, 2024, in Paris, France.
Naomi Baker/Getty Images
In the 2024 Paris Games, Biles only missed one podium event. After winning four medals, the gymnast rose to prominence as a formidable example of what a "Greatest of All Time" contender should look like. She demonstrated to the world what it meant to be a strong competitor--someone who is prepared to take a step back and reevaluate their goals and reasons for competing. She showed that a fierce competitor was someone who was prepared to treat everyone and anyone in their vicinity as equals and promote those who deserved praise.
Biles showed that a great competitor was prepared to look back and lift those behind them as they climbed.
It is Biles' ability to identify the preeminence of her competition and congratulate their excellence that sets her aside from the rest. The gymnast won silver and gold at the Paris Olympics, but she also won the admiration of many viewers who had the pleasure of watching her break barriers that many would have let topple them.
Whether she was bowing for the Brazilian gymnast Rebecca Andrade, planning TikToks with Suni Lee, or encouraging Jordan Chiles relentlessly from the sidelines. Biles showed that to be a true Olympic hero and considered the greatest of all time, you'd have to have resilience, bravery, and confidence.
Even when the world is telling you all of the reasons why you shouldn't.
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Featured image by Naomi Baker/Getty Images