Post-Grad Depression Is A Full-Time Job
College presidents, guidance counselors, and commencement speakers across the country have a way of thrilling us for all the endless possibilities that await us beyond graduation.
Daydreams of corner offices, beaming entrepreneurial endeavors, and overall success fill our minds as we wait to be handed our degree and take off towards adulthood. Interestingly enough, many college graduates like myself, have had a post-grad experience that's been everything but a fairy tale. In fact, all of the "You are the Future" sermons might get you through the door, but they often fail to mention what happens when things don't go as planned.
You see, I've had a relatively unconventional post-grad experience. Despite my many efforts, there were no internships or entry-level job offers at some trendy start-up company awaiting me upon graduation. For nine months, I worked my share of retail jobs at minimum wage with managers that were prepping for their junior prom. While most of my other classmates had moved on to their big corporate jobs in Charlotte and Chicago, here I was in some no-name town, ringing up Happy Meals and being chastised for a mysteriously broken ice cream machine.
Although these humbling gigs allowed me to hone in on my customer service skills, they did a heck of a job on my self-confidence. At the time, I hadn't considered how much having gainful employment would affect my self-worth and mental health. Still, I persisted, and finally received a job offer at an advertising agency in the heart of Midtown, New York City. I couldn't believe that after countless rejections, I finally earned a position in alignment with my skill sets and professional goals. I was certain that the worst was behind me and it would only be up from there.
Whew, was I laughably mistaken.
Before I knew it, things took a turn for the unexpected. After an irreversible fallout with my roommates and the big wigs over my account choosing to part ways with our agency, I was left with a big decision:
Do I live in a homeless shelter and finish this New York rags-to-riches story, or do I pack my bags and head back down below the Mason Dixon line?
I made the sensible choice and packed all of my belongings into a single suitcase, and made the trek back to the small town I called home. If you think finding a job after graduation is hard, try finding employment in a town that isn't necessarily running over with opportunity, so it was back to McDonald's I went.
It wasn't long before I quit my cashier job in hopes of finding something better paying and in alignment with the degree I spent thousands of dollars on, only to fall into more no's and months of unemployment. It seemed like the very thing that was supposed to open the doors of opportunities was the very thing closing them, and no amount of résumé revamping could stop it.
The rejections and letdowns were more than I could stand, causing me to sink into a depression that I saw no way out of. I had never felt so hopeless, low, or worthless in my life. I had no money, no job, and no community to lean on at my darkest hour.
You don't know what your lowest point is until you reach it and you don't know how dark your darkest is until your light is completely gone.
My dad and sister were instrumental in speaking life into me and getting my head back on straight. Still, I was so embarrassed that I ever got to that point and for them to see me there. I was always the smart, positive, goal-driven person in their eyes and at that moment, I thought that I had let them down. Thankfully, they were there to remind me of one thing that I managed to forget this entire time: my worth.
Ever since we were young, we've been accustomed to a standardized grading system. If we perform well, we get a high score, if we don't, we get a low mark. From kindergartners to college seniors, it's been this way and we've placed our worth and value in how well we perform within these social structures. Then, once we enter the "real world" and navigate our new reality without an instruction manual, we're forced to find our new identity and ask ourselves who we are outside the landscape of academia, scholarship, and educational ranking systems.
After graduation, I placed my worth in my degree and the opportunities it was supposed to allot me. When all those fell through, I placed my worth in my lack of success and it nearly ended me.
The light bulb lit up when I realized that the only true grading system there is in life is progress.
When we're able to take a step back and see how far we've grown, how many times we gotten up after being knocked down, and the small steps we've taken in the right direction, the learning curves is now only about the you today vs. the you of yesterday.
No matter if you have an associate position, work as a part-time barista, or spend your day searching for new positions on LinkedIn, you have a job. Waking up in the morning and choosing to show up for whatever lies ahead in your day takes work and every time you say "yes" to the journey and "yes" to life, that's a promotion that no manager could ever give you.
So, if you're struggling in between where you are and where you want to be, I am pleased to inform you that we are all full-time employees of life. Your dark seasons are not the end, they're just the middle; show gratitude and be present in your fight. You're a warrior in this thing called life, and that truth should be celebrated.
xoNecole is always looking for new voices and empowering stories to add to our platform. If you have an interesting story or personal essay that you'd love to share, we'd love to hear from you. Contact us at submissions@xonecole.com.
Featured image by Getty Images
- My Experience with Post-Graduation Depression | Life Goals Mag ›
- Let's talk about postgraduate depression | BLAVITY ›
- Facing the Real World: How to Deal With Post Grad Depression ... ›
- No Job? How New Grads Can Cope With Depression | Wellness ... ›
- 8 Things Nobody Tells You About Graduation And Depression ›
- We Need to Talk About Post-Graduation Depression | Top Universities ›
- Millennials face life after college, finding a 'quarter-life crisis' instead ... ›
- 14 Ways To Pull Yourself Through Post-Grad Depression | Thought ... ›
- 5 Signs You're Experiencing Post-Grad Depression | Her Campus ›
- Post graduation depression after graduating college is a real thing. I ... ›
Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
The Power Of Your Big 3: Understanding The Astrological Significance You Hold
Explore your sign’s 2024 horoscope predictions to learn what is in store for you this year in love, career, and more. Check out the love compatibility of each sign to learn more about zodiac pairings and all things compatibility.
Astrology has become even more mainstream and a phenomenon than it ever has in the past. We have gone beyond the, “What’s your sign?” and have moved into “What’s your big 3?” seemingly overnight, and rightly so due to the significance of knowing these important details. Your Big 3 in Astrology represents your sun sign, your moon sign, and your rising sign.
This trifecta is thought to be one of the most significant details of your birth chart and gives you and others more of a full-picture look at who you are beyond just your sun sign.
What Does Your Big 3 In Astrology Say About You?
Knowing your big 3 is important, especially if you are someone who has never really resonated with your sun sign. You read about what it means to be an Aries, but may not align with what you see or your experience with other Aries. Meanwhile, the whole time, you have a Libra rising, the complete opposite sign of Aries, and this is why you have always seen yourself as a more laid-back and less confrontational Aries.
Elements hold a key role in your birth chart and having a big 3 where the elements are all compatible or the same often signifies someone who knows who they are and is comfortable in their skin. Whereas someone with a different element for each part of their big 3 may have challenges with identity or defining who they are or how they want to present themselves. It’s a different type of perspective when looking into your big 3, and it helps you see where your strengths and needs are in life, and how to tap more into this potential.
Your Big 3 In Astrology Explained
Your big 3 can help you navigate life by understanding which part of you comes out more in different circumstances. At home, you are most like your moon sign, when you are out and about, you are most like your rising sign. Whether you are at home or out and about, your goals, purpose, and interests are most like your sun sign.
You can find out what your big 3 is by looking up a ‘Birth Chart Calculator’ on your search engine, typing in your birthday details (you will need to know your birth date, location, and the exact time you were born), and generating your birth chart.
Read below for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
YOUR SUN SIGN
Your sun sign represents the core of you and what motivates you to shine and be your best self. This is your personality, goals, purpose, identity, ego, interests, direction, and where you light up in life.
FIRE SUN (Aries Sun, Leo Sun, Sagittarius Sun)
If you are an Aries sun, a Leo sun, or a Sagittarius sun, you are outgoing, confident, fearless, and in tune with yourself and your personal goals and desires in life. You go after the things you want, and you are not afraid to take up space. You are someone who prefers to be more independent, and you are often in more leadership roles in life.
EARTH SUN (Taurus Sun, Virgo Sun, Capricorn Sun)
If you are a Taurus sun, a Virgo sun, or a Capricorn sun, you are grounded, dependable, loyal, hard-working, and logical. You prefer the finer things in life but also work hard to get where you are. You are someone others feel they can rely on, and you are often a support for other people in your life. You are very connected to the material sides of life, and have a gift for manifesting.
AIR SUN (Gemini Sun, Libra Sun, Aquarius Sun)
If you are a Gemini sun, a Libra sun, or an Aquarius sun, you are light-hearted, free-flowing, intelligent, and communicative. You speak what is on your mind, and you love to connect and communicate with others. People know you for the things you say and your out-of-the-box ideas, and you are someone who is open-minded and provides a safe space for people to be authentically themselves.
WATER SUN (Cancer Sun, Scorpio Sun, Pisces Sun)
If you are a Cancer sun, a Scorpio sun, or a Pisces sun, you are thoughtful, generous, emotional, loving, and compassionate. You care deeply about the people you love, and you are always there for others. You may be more emotional than most, and this is due to your strong intuition and open heart. You are creative, inspiring, and motivated towards connection in life.
YOUR MOON SIGN
Your moon sign represents your emotions. This is the way you express yourself emotionally, how you process your emotions, what you need in love, what makes you feel safe and nurtured, your desires, intuition, your inner world, and what’s going on beneath the surface.
FIRE MOON (Aries Moon, Leo Moon, Sagittarius Moon)
If you are an Aries moon, a Leo moon, or a Sagittarius moon, you are someone who is not afraid to communicate your emotions or how you are feeling, and you can feel your emotions from a mile away. You are confident in yourself and are someone who stands up for what you feel is right. You have a strong need to be seen and heard in your relationships, and a certain type of understanding is needed for you to emotionally thrive. You may have some challenges with anger or high energy and are working through emotional impulses in this lifetime.
EARTH MOON (Taurus Moon, Virgo Moon, Capricorn Moon)
If you are a Taurus moon, a Virgo moon, or a Capricorn moon, you are someone who is emotionally grounded, safe, comforting, and logical. You aren’t overly emotional and may not show your emotions to people much at all, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have them. You think before you speak, and you process your emotions before acting on them, and you tend to be more down-to-earth and understanding when it comes to other people’s emotional worlds as well. You are someone people go to when they need someone to talk to you as you are a very good listener.
AIR MOON (Gemini Moon, Libra Moon, Aquarius Moon)
If you are a Gemini moon, a Libra moon, or an Aquarius moon, you are someone who is fun, outgoing, and emotionally open-minded. You don’t like heavy emotions or too much emotional drama, and you tend to be more go-with-the-flow in this area of your life. Good conversation and mutual understanding are very important to you in your relationships and you want funny banter and inspiration in your connections with others.
WATER MOON (Cancer Moon, Scorpio Moon, Pisces Moon)
If you are a Cancer moon, a Scorpio moon, or a Pisces moon, you are someone who lives by their heart and values your emotional world deeply. You crave a deep type of intimacy in your partnerships and you need a partner who is going to give you that type of emotional connection. You are more private with your emotional world and you tend to hold a lot in, but this can often lead to sudden outbursts as well. Overall, you are the definition of emotion and others learn a lot from you on what it means to love and to feel.
YOUR ASCENDANT (RISING SIGN)
Your ascendant sign represents your perception and the energy you put out into the world. This is the way you come across to others, the way you express yourself, your physical traits and aesthetics, how you manifest, society, and what you expect from the world around you.
FIRE ASCENDANT (Aries Rising, Leo Rising, Sagittarius Rising)
If you are an Aries rising, a Leo rising, or a Sagittarius rising, you come across to others as confident, bold, and stylish. You are known for the way you look or the way you present yourself, and you are usually adorned in bright colors or wearing something that others take a lot of notice of. You are someone who walks into a room, and all eyes are on you, and you love that. You want to be on the move and on the go, and you love to show up in the world exactly as you are today. You see the world with a lot of possibilities and like it's yours to have fun and enjoy yourself in.
EARTH ASCENDANT (Taurus Rising, Virgo Rising, Capricorn Rising)
If you are a Taurus rising, a Virgo rising, or a Capricorn rising, you come across to others as responsible, beautiful, natural, and dependable. You are a hard worker, and you may be known for your career or the work that you do. You are someone who walks into a room and people feel an immediate sense of comfort and like you are someone they can trust. You have strong values and goals, and you are someone who knows what they want. People love to be around your down-to-earth energy, and you make others feel safe and grounded.
AIR ASCENDANT (Gemini Rising, Libra Rising, Aquarius Rising)
If you are a Gemini rising, a Libra rising, or an Aquarius rising, you come across to others as outgoing, friendly, and talkative. You see the world as a place to learn, connect, and be inspired, and you are on a quest for knowledge and understanding. You connect with people from all walks of life, and you tend to have a pretty open-minded and unique friend group. You care a lot about your style and aesthetic and always strive to be authentically you wherever you are. You can talk to people for hours and are often meeting new people and making new friends wherever you go.
WATER ASCENDANT (Cancer Rising, Scorpio Rising, Pisces Rising)
If you are a Cancer rising, a Scorpio rising, or a Pisces rising, you navigate life through the lens of your emotions, and you are deeply connected to the undercurrents of life. You are ruled by your emotions, and this side of you is not something you can keep hidden away easily. You get emotional when you think about society and others at large, and you want to be known for the kind and sincere person you are. When you walk into a room, you feel other people's energy right away and are highly empathic and intuitive.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by We Are/Getty Images