Tia Mowry Discusses The Pressures To ‘Bounce Back’ After Pregnancy
Tia Mowry opened up about her journey to get back to her “pre-baby weight” after having two kids. The Sister, Sister star gave birth to her son Cree in 2011 and her daughter Cairo in 2018, and the actress decided to take her time and let the weight fall off naturally without having to snap back right away as many celebrities have done. In fact, Tia denounced “bounce back culture” in a recent Instagram post. With a carousel of photos showing off her body attached, the Family Reunion star shed light on the pressures for women to get their pre-baby bodies back and how she decided to approach it.
“You guys, I want to talk about body image and self-love!!! After babies, “bounce back” culture can add so much pressure when it comes to losing baby weight and getting back to our pre-baby bodies,” she wrote in the now-deleted Instagram post. “Now, I’m back to my pre-baby weight, but man did it take lots of discipline and hardwork!!”
She began sharing that she decided to go the tough route and lose the baby weight in a natural and healthy way. “Bounce back culture has made it so difficult for us to love our bodies after having babies. I made sure to do it in my time, my own way, and the natural way. Was it easy? No, it was hard! But not feeling pressured and just doing it in my time made it feel that much better. Mommas, be gentle on yourselves!!! We have brought life into the world, and for that… we are superheroes. I love you guys! 💕💕💕”
This isn’t the first time Tia has spoken out against snapback culture. In an October 2021 post, the 43-year-old preached about women loving their bodies and how she appreciated her body before, during, and after pregnancy.
“Pregnancy was such a special time in my life and I loved it and my bump! I also loved my body before pregnancy,” she wrote.
“We’re led to believe we should love one over the other. But it was important for me to be super proud of BOTH bodies instead of feeling pressured to be a part of the snapback culture.”
She added, “I think instead we can look at our bodies and love and acknowledge them for keeping us alive and keeping our babies alive! Mamas, we can allow our bodies to just BE while we nourish them (and our little ones!) with good things, instead of buying into the snapback culture.💗”
Tia has been documenting her operation bounce back on Instagram updating fans about her progress with several photos including an April 13 post where she put her “natural body” on display stretch marks and all.
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Featured image by Charley Gallay/Getty Images for Paramount Pictures
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images
