

I have had quite a few disappointing birthdays over the years. Every time I planned a dinner or a get-together, I always seemed to be let down. Something unexpected would always happen that had me feeling some type of way. Friends canceled after they R.S.V.P.'d or there were arguments over the restaurant bill. I was even kicked out of my 23rd birthday party because one of my girlfriends' guests lacked V.I.P. etiquette at our joint birthday party. I just didn't feel seen or celebrated by the group of people I chose to be my friends at that time. To be fair though, in your twenties, what do you really know about true friendship? But still, I knew I deserved so much more.
After a while, my birthday became a day I didn't look forward to. I used fear of getting hurt or being disappointed as a guard. Honestly, I didn't start enjoying birthdays until my 27th birthday. I was in a new city, with a new group of friends, who made me feel more seen and appreciated than some of my lifelong friends I currently have. It wasn't until my 33rd birthday I decided to spend my birthday alone.
Celebrating my birthday alone was the most uncomfortable yet empowering thing I had ever done. Why didn't I think of doing this sooner? Now, every year I typically spend my birthday alone. It's not that I don't enjoy the company of my friends–I do. But over the years, I learned to enjoy my own company. I know that I could never let myself down. I know that I would not give myself less than I deserve. And sometimes, in the end, you have to be your own best friend. Word to Beyoncé, y'all. Sometimes, "me, myself, and I" win.
Here are a few things you can do on your birthday alone.
Write Yourself A Love Letter
Shutterstock
Writing yourself a love letter is the ultimate form of self-intimacy and self-love. What better way to celebrate your birthday than to shower yourself with words of affirmation? I started this ritual a year ago. And I will continue to practice this ritual on every single birthday. There is something about using words to embrace the woman you are. We as women don't do this enough, we don't give ourselves enough credit for everything that we are. It's time we pay attention to how we speak to ourselves.
On this birthday, be gentle with yourself. Write about your qualities, flaws, and accomplishments. Make yourself a few promises because you know you will never break your own heart. Remember, pen to paper always wins.
Buy Yourself Flowers
Shutterstock
You deserve flowers at all times. Don't wait for a guy or a friend to give you flowers. Especially on your birthday. Head to your local florist and create your own bouquet. Did you know certain types of flowers can enhance your energy? Carnations symbolize commitment while Freesias exudes positive energy to everyone around it. Pay attention to colors – red symbolizes power, life, and vitality. Yellow builds self-confidence and encourages optimism. Green represents tranquility and helps you stay grounded.
Treat Yourself To A Fancy Brunch Or Dinner
Shutterstock
Like Drake said, "Oh, you fancy huh. Nails did, hair did, everything did." Reserve a table for one at your favorite restaurant or at the new trendy restaurant you have been dying to go to. You don't always need a group of friends to make you feel special on your birthday. You control your feelings. And making yourself feel special is your power. So, get your face beat, put on that outfit, throw on those heels, and pull up to that restaurant with C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-C-E. Don't give two fucks about the people staring at you just because you're sitting alone. They are probably admiring you anyways queen.
And if you'd prefer to do a quarantine-friendly version of this, prepare yourself a decadent meal or order in from one of your favorite restaurants. Treat yourself to a slice of luxury in the comforts of home.
Spend Your Day At A Day Spa
Shutterstock
Go ahead girl, and pamper yourself at a day spa. I mean, is there a better way to spend your birthday than getting your glow on? A fresh facial or clean skin just gives me all the feels. Book yourself a facial, massage, body treatment, manicure, or pedicure. If a day spa isn't your thing, try a Korean bathhouse or a Russian-Turkish bath. You can relax in different types of saunas, steam rooms, salt rooms, or aromatherapy rooms. Bathhouses offer all types of amenities and services for the ultimate day of self-care.
Wine Tasting
Shutterstock
Who doesn't love a good bottle of wine? Spend your special day in a beautiful vineyard and let your palate explore rich flavorful wines. While I have not done this for my own birthday, I did do a wine tasting safari at Malibu Wines by myself. I spent the day at this famous family-owned winery known for its scenery. I enjoyed picturesque views, feeding farm animals, and meeting new people. Of course, I enjoyed the wine, but I was in awe of the fact that someone owned 1,000 acres of land.
Travel
Shutterstock
Solo travel is life. Get you some sexy bikinis and take that solo birthday trip. Remember you are BAE. I took my first international solo trip for my 33rd birthday to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. Mexico was a whole mood. It was tacos, tequila shots, and sunsets. On the eve of my birthday, I ordered room service; crème brûleé with a glass of Moscato. Just before midnight, room service delivered my decadent dessert. I brought in my birthday in the comfort of my hotel room bed.
On my 35th birthday, I flew solo to Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico was even better than Mexico. I met up with a girl I connected with over a xoNecole Instagram post about solo travel. We slid in each other's DMs. And on the day of my arrival in Puerto Rico, homegirl scooped me up from the airport. She then connected me with another girl who had the same birthday as mine.
Coincidentally, this same girl was also staying in the same boutique hotel as me, The Dreamcatcher. This had to be a universal sign because from that point forward it was rooftop dinners, champagne bottles, salsa dancing, and island hopping. We even went for a night swim in the ocean butt naked. It was Sagittarius season, and we were lit AF. Oh, and for my 36th birthday, I commemorated my first solo trip by returning to Mexico.
So, on your birthday, celebrate yourself, QUEEN. You are BAE. You are the most important person on your born day. This is a celebration of your life. It's your day to shine even brighter. Don't let anyone even attempt to dim or steal your light. No one will love you more than you do. No one will treat you better than you do.
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
Featured image by Shutterstock
- Tulum, Mexico: My Solo Travel Guide - xoNecole: Women's Interest ... ›
- The Benefits Of Embracing Solitude - xoNecole: Women's Interest ... ›
- Being Alone & Being Lonely, The Difference - xoNecole: Women's ... ›
- How To Spend the Holidays Alone - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
Camille is a lover of all things skin, curls, music, justice, and wanderlust; oceans and islands are her thing. Her words inspire and her power is her voice. A California native with Trinidadian roots, she has penned personal essays, interviews, and lifestyle pieces for POPSUGAR, FEMI magazine, and SelfishBabe. Camille is currently creating a life she loves through words, self-love, fitness, travel, and empowerment. You can follow her on Instagram @cam_just_living or @written_by_cam.
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy
It’s officially Miss Keri, Baby season again—and if you ask us, it’s been a long time coming. After 15 years away from the music scene, Keri Hilson has returned not only with a brand-new album, but also a captivating new role in Lifetime’s Fame—the latest installment in The Temptations film franchise.
Between the album We Need to Talk: Love and her leading role in Fame, this isn’t just a comeback—it’s a rebirth. The Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter turned actress is letting us into her world like never before, unpacking themes of vulnerability, healing, and inner strength with grace, grit, and raw artistry.
Now streaming on Lifetime, Fame follows two superstar sisters—played by Keri and singer/actress Keshia Chanté—as they navigate the cost of stardom, sibling rivalry, and the dark side of desire. The film also stars Romeo Miller, Ecstasia Sanders, Nathan Witte, and Sophie Carriere, and is executive produced by Derrick Williams and Adriane Hopper Williams of the Seven Deadly Sins franchise.
As for the music? We Need to Talk: Love is a three-part album (Love, Drama, Redemption) that tells the story of a woman who’s been through it—and has risen from the ashes. “It was time to speak for myself,” Keri says.
We sat down with Keri to talk about her return to music, her passion for acting, the emotional depth of Fame, and how she’s learning to care for herself amidst the chaos.
From R&B Queen to Drama Star: Keri Gets Into Character
“Even though she’s famous—as am I—it was really her humanity that I wanted to portray.”
Keri plays Cherish, one half of a superstar sibling duo who must confront their fractured relationship in the wake of a traumatic robbery. For Keri, the role was more than a character—it was a psychological study.
“I enjoy departures from reality. That’s why I love acting,” she shares. “Psychology is one of my favorite things in life. I became a writer because I’m an observer of human nature, emotion, and behavior. I think I did a good job showing her humanity.”
The Fame Isn’t Always Worth the Price
“Keep the main thing the main thing.”
Keri doesn’t sugarcoat the industry. When asked about what Fame reveals about the dark side of celebrity culture, her answer is clear:
“It’s a cautionary tale. It reminds you to keep your family close and not allow anything to come between them—especially in pursuit of success. Keep the main thing the main thing. For me, that’s family, love, spirituality, and values.”
Three Chapters, One Story: Love. Drama. Redemption.
“I’ve shed the fear. It was time to tell my own story.”
Released April 18th, We Need to Talk: Love is Keri’s first album in 15 years—and a deeply personal one at that. The three-part project (Love, Drama, Redemption) represents a timeline of healing and growth.
“I’m finally in a place where I’m able and willing to open up more,” she says. “For a while, I became really guarded—shell-shocked, even—after making mistakes in the public eye. Whether it’s all your fault or not, the scrutiny takes its toll. But now, I’ve shed that fear. It’s time to tell my story.”
Cooking, Walks, and Recalibrating in the Chaos
“I’m not doing the best job—but I’m doing what I can.”
Between eight-hour rehearsals, press runs, and music releases, Hilson admits she hasn’t quite figured out the balance yet—but she’s trying. For her, the key is carving out small rituals of normalcy.
“I enjoy cooking. That’s my sanctity,” she says. “I’ll go home, take my makeup off, put on my rehearsal clothes, and cook a meal. I take walks. I run. These little things help me feel like myself again.”
Art Imitates Life (and Album Tracklists)
“Cherish goes from Love… to Drama… to Redemption.”
Asked which album chapter her Fame character would fall into, Keri doesn’t hesitate. “She fits into all three,” she says. “You see her go from love, to drama, to redemption. That arc mirrors the journey of so many women who’ve had to navigate pain and find their way back to themselves.”
No Pressure, Just Art: Keri Wants You to Feel Something
“Just enjoy the art. That’s it.”
After all the time, patience, and healing, Keri isn’t asking for much. She just wants fans to press play—and feel something.
“I just want people to enjoy what they’re seeing and hearing. Enjoy me on screen. Enjoy me through their ears. People have waited, and I feel blessed by that. That helps me keep it all pure and simple.”
As Keri Hilson steps boldly back into the spotlight, it’s clear this era is all about alignment, artistry, and authenticity. With Fame airing on Lifetime and the first chapter of We Need to Talk: Love setting the tone, we’re more than excited to see what’s next.
As she continues to unfold the album’s next two chapters—Drama and Redemption—one thing’s for sure: this isn’t just a comeback. It’s a reintroduction. And we’ll be watching, listening, and cheering her on every step of the way.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by AFF-USA/Shutterstock