Tami Roman Claims She Gave Her Husband Permission To Have A Baby With Another Woman
Tami Roman visited The Real to talk about her return to the popular reality TV series The Real World and she also updated the co-hosts about her surrogacy plans.
The former Basketball Wives reality star is married to Reginald "Reggie" Youngblood and while she shares two daughters, Jazz and Lyric Anderson, with her ex-husband, Kenny Anderson, Reggie doesn't have any children.
Last year, Tami disclosed that she and Reggie were open to trying surrogacy after the actress experienced three miscarriages. Tami is 17 years older than Reggie and has had health issues, including diabetes, that have affected her ability to carry babies to term.
However, in the Nov. 17 episode of The Real, Tami announced that the surrogacy plans have been put "on pause." "I feel like I'm at a point where my career is starting to do and reward me for all of my efforts in the time that I've been in the business, and a baby for me right now would just not be the thing to do," Roman explained.
But just because she isn't ready to have a baby right now, that doesn't mean she wanted to stop her husband from having one.
"So what I offered him was an opportunity for us to take a break for a year or two. Let him go find someone to have a child with and when he has his baby we can get back together," she said.
Leaving The Real co-hosts astounded, she continued that she would be open to help raise the baby, but that her decision had more to do with him. "It's really more about him being able to have his legacy here because he's an only child and he does not have any children. So, it's really more for him than it is for me," she revealed.
However, Reggie rejected the idea of having a baby with another woman. "He said, 'I don't want that. I fell in love with you. You're the woman that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, and if God put me here and I'm not supposed to have children then that's what it is,'" she said.
Whew!
Tami's comments about allowing her husband to have a baby with another woman lit up Twitter.
Not Tami Roman saying she'd lend her nigga out so he can have a baby😭😭😭???? Its so many other options
— The Great Negro (@jiggyjayy2) November 18, 2021
I TOTALLY RESPECT WHAT U SAID ON #THEREAL @TamiRoman
— Barbie_Boy_La_Creme (@barbie_creme) November 18, 2021
THAT WAS SELF-LESS & BEAUTIFUL OF YOU 2 GIVE THAT OPPORTUNITY TO YOUR #HUSBAND ......🍷🍷🍷🍷🤲🤲📿📿🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
What might seem outrageous to some women could also be acceptable to others. I personally would never give my spouse permission to step outside our marriage to procreate with another woman. If Tami is ok with it then so be it.
— CadillacContessa (@TruthContessa) November 18, 2021
Featured image by Gabe Ginsberg/Getty Images
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images