Tami Roman Opens Up About Dramatic Weight Loss: "I Lost My Willingness To Die"
Our bodies are temples which we sometimes sabotage by consuming milkshakes, fried chicken, and processed cheese. Although for a long time this was our reality, it seems that our society is now in an age of holistic enlightenment that understands as a culture that we are what we eat. And what we've been eating is pure bullsh*t.
The black community's inclination toward poverty is headed slowly but surely into degradation and we now understand that many of the illnesses that killed our grandparents could have been avoided by a simple change in diet. Diseases prevalent in the black community like cancer, heart disease, and diabetes have killed many of our loved ones, and Tami Roman understands that she is not immune.
The reality star recently opened up about her ongoing battle with both diabetes and maintaining a positive self-image. She posted on Instagram:
"I didn't lose weight, I lost my willingness to die. DIABETES IS NO JOKE! I Detox, suppress my appetite and make better food choices," she said. "So enjoy yourself laughing, leaving negative comments & calling me a 'crackhead'…but I have two beautiful daughters and I'm gon' live for them by ANY means necessary".
Tami has been transparent in the past about her health struggles despite unfair rumors and scrutiny about her fluctuating weight, but says there was a point where she didn't take her health as seriously. In 2014, she shared with The Jasmine Brand that she had been diagnosed with diabetes after noticing significant weight gain:
"I was literally thinking, 'why am I gaining so much weight? I'm going to have to figure out a way around this.' A year later I was diagnosed with diabetes type 2 and literally I just start losing weight. You can either go this way or that way. Once I found out, I still didn't really honor the fact that I had it. Even with NV [dietary supplement caplets], I only got to a size 10 or 12."
Tami said that despite her diagnosis, she continued to eat with no regard for her body until she got some advice from an unlikely friend.
"I continued to eat and not really care. It wasn't until I started working on "Extant" and I was talking to Halle, who is also diabetic, and she said "Tami, the truth of the matter is — you either wanna live or you wanna die. You can continue thinking what you think and doing what you're doing, but you're not going to be here long." And that like really hit home for me. So I changed up my whole diet and eating and trying to be healthy and live right, and now people say I'm too skinny [laughs]."
If you choose to take health advice from anyone, you take it from the woman who still looks like a snack at 51.
According to WebMD, black people are 50% more likely to be diagnosed with diabetes than their non ethnic counterparts. According to a study done by the National Institutes of Health the biggest factor driving this difference is obesity, followed by health disparities and social and economic factors.
These numbers are scary, and leads me to pose the question, If we don't take care of us, who will? As satisfying as unhealthy treats may be, we as black women have to start holding ourselves accountable for our health, simply because we're all we got.
Featured image by Leon Bennett/Getty Images for BET
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Another season of Love Is Blind has come to a close, and almost two months later we’re still unpacking the drama that is Clay and AD. The finale, reunion, and post-interviews with Clay and AD after season six of Love Is Blind left millions of people wondering - why couldn’t AD see the signs? Clay told her he had a fear of marriage, his parents experienced infidelity, and he seemed to have many doubts about saying, "I do."
After changing his mind at the altar and hearing AD question why she feels like she’s never enough, I was finished watching. I didn’t need to hear anything else because, at that moment, I realized this wasn’t about Clay; this was about AD feeling inadequate before she ever met Clay.
If I’m honest, I don’t watch much dating television. TikTok keeps me updated with the clips that I need to see in order to be kept in the loop, but it’s difficult for me to watch an entire season of dating TV because seeing Black women settle for less and questioning their beauty is a trigger for me. In many ways, there were points in my life where I was AD, settling and ignoring red flags because I wanted to be loved.
Now, on the other side, it doesn’t feel good to see Black women lower their standards on national television. There have been many hot takes on this couple and who was in the wrong. Did Clay play in AD’s face or did she not listen to the truth of what he told her from day one? Was his reason for joining the show to promote his business and not to find the one?
We’ll never know the truth, but what we can do is learn tactics to better our self-worth. Founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization Denise Francis shared her expertise with xoNecole on what tangible steps to take to improve feelings of worthiness. “Self-love blooms in a garden where self-worth is planted, nourished, and whole. However, when your self-worth is challenged, displaced, or broken, it could be difficult to rebuild," Denise explains.
How To Rebuild Self-Worth
During her self-love coaching sessions, Denise likes to walk her clients through the cornerstones of rebuilding self-worth: grace and self-compassion. To her, self-worth is never lost, it's only displaced, so practicing self-compassion and giving yourself grace is a must. "We tend to place our self-worth in entities and people of ourselves such as relationship status, physical appearance, material possessions, social media followings, what others think of us, and more. Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth.
"Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth."
"When we place our value into people or things, we tend to feel that we are not enough, worth it, special, or important when relationship status, job titles, friendships, and physical appearances are lost or changed. We then tend to feel lost within ourselves because we’ve placed our value outside of ourselves. Using grace and compassion, you can rebuild your self-worth by returning home to who you are at your core," she concludes.
How To Return Home To Yourself
Denise advises taking a step back and using self-reflection through journaling by answering the following journaling prompts:
First, ask yourself, "What do you tend to attach your self-worth to and why?"
Is it your relationships, your job title, your finances, your appearance, etc.? Why do you think you place so much emphasis on external status? How does it make you feel when you are defining yourself through these entities and/or people outside of yourself?
Then, ask yourself, "Without these things, who am I?"
Once you have your answers, show yourself kindness, remove the shame, and, as Denise says, "Redefine yourself by detaching your value from the things and people you have no control over and no longer serve you. Challenge yourself to define yourself outside of titles and societal values."
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person. You begin to find value in the way you love instead of your relationship status, your compassion instead of your popularity, your drive instead of your income/job title, and your heart instead of your physical appearance," she adds.
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person."
"Be intentional with healing your self-worth by leaning into the people and things that nourish your core values. Surround yourself with the people who love and cherish you, they will always remind you just how valuable you truly are."
It all goes back to self-compassion and grace. As Denise explains, leading with those two things as you heal and rebuild your self-worth allows you to reduce negative self-talk that might come up for you. "This weakens thoughts like, 'I am not enough... why am I never enough?'" she shares, "And 'I don't deserve this while strengthening thoughts like 'I deserve better,' 'I am enough,' and 'I am worth it.'"
Denise continues, "Once you return home and remember the irreplaceable person you are, you can rebuild your self-worth by placing it back where it belongs. It belongs to you."
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Featured image by LaylaBird/Getty Images
