

"Ready" is a great word. Have you ever looked it up before? When you're ready to do something, it means that you are "completely prepared or in fit condition for immediate action or us". It also means that you're "duly equipped, completed, adjusted, or arranged, as for an occasion or purpose". When it comes to the question of whether or not you're ready to be in a serious relationship, where a lot of people trip up is they only focus on another definition of the word—"willing". In other words, because they want to be in one, they believe that they are completely prepared and duly equipped when oftentimes, that's not even close to being the case.
So, how can you know if you're someone who doesn't just want a serious relationship but is personally at a point and place where the Universe agrees that you are truly ready in every sense of the word? Take a moment and run down this list of seven things. If you can relate to three or more, it's probably best to remain on your own a bit longer, do some self-work and revisit a little later down the road—for the sake of you, your heart, "his" heart, and both of y'all's oh so very precious energy and time.
1. YOU’RE NOT READY IF: You Suck at Compromising
Back in the day, I knew someone who had her entire wedding planned…while she was single. I don't mean she had a cute lil' Pinterest account. I mean, she had folders, swatches, the whole nine. In short, she had, what I call, "wedding porn" (because anything done in excess can be considered porn). When I asked her, "How do you know if your husband is going to like all of this stuff?", she paused, looked at me like I was crazy and said, "I don't need his opinions. It's my day." Eventually, she did get married. Twice. The thing that both of her husbands complained about is she didn't know how to compromise. Hmph. Imagine that.
I don't know one single healthy or functional relationship that doesn't consist of daily compromise—of two people coming together to see how they can find peace and harmony, mutually so, in their relationship, even if that means they don't always get all of what they want…all of the time.
If you just read that and rolled your eyes, chances are, you struggle with compromising. And that's a HUGE sign that if you did attempt to get into something serious, you'd struggle. BIG TIME. (Think Molly and Asian Bae Andrew from this past season of Insecure.)
2. YOU’RE NOT READY IF: You’ve Got Unresolved Past Relationships (or Situationships)
One of the absolute worst things anyone can do is to use a new person to try and get over a past one. It's not fair to either one of you because, until you get your past right, you're not going to be fully present in your, well, present. I'm not just referring to rebound relationships either. I'm talking about—if you know there is someone in your past who you're still tied to in some way (check out "6 Reasons Why You STILL Can't Over Your Ex"), even if it's just because you weren't able to get closure with them at the time (check out "How To Get Closure If Your Ex Won't Give It To You"), while you might not opt to go on a heart pieces tour like I did a few years back (also check out "Why Every Woman Should Go On A 'Get Your Heart Pieces Back' Tour"), it can only benefit you to do some journaling and maybe even see a therapist about why, on some levels, you may be mentally or emotionally stuck on some levels.
Trust me, I know from very up close and personal experience that, when you don't get clear on your past relationships and/or situationships, you can go into another relationship expecting someone else to make up for what a past person has done (which isn't their fault or responsibility) or, you can find yourself constantly comparing them to your past (which isn't fair). You won't give the new relationship the kind of chance that it deserves. And that could prove to be a waste of time, both for you as well as for them.
3. YOU’RE NOT READY IF: The Thought of Exclusivity Totally Turns You Off
Yes, I know that as the world is ever-changing, the way people see relationships is shifting too. In this case, I'm speaking of a relationship that consists of two people only; two people who have mutually-agreed upon plans of turning what they've got into something long-term. That said, I know a woman who is always wondering why she's not in a serious relationship. Thing is, when I asked her about why all of her past ones haven't worked out, she admitted that she was either too flirty with other guys or too restless with the person she was in the relationship with. It was like, in theory, she wanted to be with someone but when it came to the day to day of what being exclusive required, she wasn't really interested.
Last fall, I wrote the article, "Single-Minded: So, What If You Like Dating But DON'T Desire Marriage?" because I personally don't think there is anything wrong with not being the "date to marry" kind of person. But most people, when they think of the phrase "serious relationship", exclusivity is definitely a part of the equation. If you want companionship, you can still get that from dating multiple people. But if you think a serious relationship is one you're ready for, the other guys are gonna have to go. If that doesn't sit well with you—don't get into one.
4. YOU’RE NOT READY IF: You’re Impatient AF
I dig a lot of quotes from the poet and theologian Rumi. When it comes to the topic of how to make a relationship work and last, one of my favorites is, "Patience is not sitting and waiting, it is foreseeing. It is looking at the thorn and seeing the rose, looking at the night and seeing the day. Lovers are patient and know that the moon needs time to become full." I try and say this as often as possible because, if you want a relationship to work, it's important that you know that patience isn't just about waiting. It's also about putting up with some things that you probably would prefer not to—like stuff that irritates, provokes or annoys you—without doing a lot of complaining, freaking out or threatening to end the relationship.
One way to know if you're this kind of individual is to ask your friends for their insight. If they tell you that you tend to be impatient with them, or even if you're someone who struggles with waiting calmly in a grocery line or you can't go a day without screaming at a car in front of you when you're in a traffic jam—while this doesn't totally mean that a serious relationship isn't what you need right now, it can reveal that you're gonna be triggered, A LOT, if you don't master some patience before getting into one.
5. YOU’RE NOT READY IF: You’re a Low-Key Love Addict
This might seem like a bit of a curveball because, how can you really want to be in a relationship, to the point where you're basically consumed by the thought of it, and it be a sign that a relationship is the last thing that you need to be in? I say it often that, one of my favorite quotes is by Voltaire. He once said, "The excess of a virtue is a vice". This basically means, anything, done in excess, isn't good for you. And yes, even when it comes to love, it's not healthy to be addicted to it (check out "6 Signs You're A Love Addict"). If you're pressed for time and you want to know what some telling indications of love addiction are without actually reading the article I just referenced—you get into relationships too quickly; you overly romanticize connections; you always choose emotionally-unavailable people; you're codependent; you're needy AF; you lead with sex and every failed situation ends up totally devastating you.
Now that you see what some telling signs of love addiction are, you might have a clearer picture of why being a love addict made this list. Someone who struggles in this way doesn't need a relationship; what they need is to learn how to love themselves—first. Otherwise, they'll constantly be in relationships with people who aren't right for them which could end up harming and jading them to the point where they can never get healthy and right for the man who truly deserves them. Does this actually apply to you?
6. YOU’RE NOT READY IF: You Can’t Remember the Last Time You Were by Yourself for Six Months Straight
Kind of on the heels of the point I just made, another telling sign that you're not ready for a serious relationship is if you can't remember the last time you weren't involved in something—dating someone, in a relationship with someone, just sleeping with someone, getting over someone— for at least six months. Does that sound drastic? I promise you that it only does if you're an individual who has never been intentional about not being involved with a guy, for a semi-long period of time, before. Take it from me, if you never take the time to enjoy 1) dating yourself; 2) fully healing from your past, and 3) even being abstinent for a while, all of the "residue" from the men who you've already been involved with can "taint" your perspective on what you truly want and, more importantly, what you really need. As a result, you could end up in a serious relationship that doesn't really serve you; one that ultimately ends up being a waste of your valuable and precious time.
There is nothing like being so whole and clear within yourself that you don't need a man; you simply would like to be with someone if they complement you and your life. It's so much easier to determine the difference between the two if you spend some time—at least six months—alone before considering getting into a serious relationship.
7. YOU’RE NOT READY IF: You Have Absolutely No Idea WHY You Want Something Long-Term
I don't care what the issue or scenario might be, if you want to get down to the root of what your motive is for doing anything in life, figure out your "why". Remember when I referenced journaling earlier? If you really and truly feel like you're ready for a serious relationship, take out a pen, open up your journal and jot down why. If answers come up along the lines of, because everyone else is in one, you're lonely or your clock is ticking—while those reasons are valid (because all feelings are), they aren't the best kind to prompt you to get into anything serious.
Contrary to what pop culture likes to shove down our throats, two halves don't make a whole and a relationship doesn't miraculously fix the internal voids or fears that we have. In order for a serious relationship to truly thrive, it's best that both individuals love themselves and find inner peace before getting together.
That way, not only does the relationship have the potential to go the distance, but it can be a healthy and happy one too. It's when you really and truly get this that you can determine if you're ready for a serious relationship—or not. So, take a deep breath and get really real with yourself…are you?
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Luxury Hairstylist On Viral 'Hey Boo' Texts & Professionalism In The Hair Industry
As Black women, our hair is our crowning glory - whether we paid for it or not. We take pride in how we wear and take care of our hair. As with everything, hair care and hair styling have evolved over the years. Long gone are the days of Blue Magic (although I hear it’s making a comeback).
Now, we have a plethora of creams, oils, conditioners, shampoos, and stylists to choose from. Beyond wearing our natural curls, we have a range of options, from wigs and sew-ins to tape-ins, I-tips, and K-tips. So much choice! But you know what they say about too much of a good thing...
The Black hair industry has definitely blossomed in the last decade with a wave of new stylists and salons popping up all over the place. As much as I love that for us, many of these stylists have become the subjects of viral TikTok and Instagram tirades because of their alleged questionable behavior and bizarre rules.
Excessive policies, strange fees, long wait times, poor performance, and the infamous “Hey boo” texts. Beauty is pain, they say… xoNecole got to the root of these issues with luxury hair extensionist Dee Michelle, who’s been in the hair game for 20 years and runs a seven-figure business - all while being a mom of four.
Antonio Livingston
“I started my business with my career in the hair industry [at] very, very young age when I was maybe like eight...So, over the years, I've just built a very successful seven-figure business very quickly just by offering high-end services and creating great experiences for my clients, many of whom are high-profile professionals,” she said. “I'm also a mother of four, including a set of triplets, which inspires me daily to show what's possible with my hard work and focus.”
Dee’s business has gone viral on social media because of what many call outrageous prices for her invisible K-Tip installs.
“When I developed my invisible K-tip extensions technique, I made sure that it wasn't just about the hair or the style, but about providing a high-end experience from start to finish. So, my clients just aren't paying for the extensions or just the style itself, but they're investing into my meticulous, seamless craft and premium hair sourced from the best suppliers…I've spent so many hours mastering my craft, creating this seamless method that gives my clients long-lasting natural results, and my pricing just reflects that - the value of my expertise and the exclusivity of the service.”
The K-tip specialist stands on business when it comes to catering to her clients and giving them an experience worth the cost.
“And it's just important for me to also say that my clients are high-profile individuals who value quality, their privacy, and their time. They want a service that fits into their lifestyle and their time. They want things that deliver perfection. And I deliver that every single time.”
I’m sure we’ve all seen the various TikTok rants about people’s nightmare experiences with stylists and uttered a silent “FELT!” We asked Dee her opinion on a few nightmare scenarios that beg the response, “please be so forreal."
On stylists charging extra to wash clients’ hair:
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
On ‘deposits’ that don’t go towards the cost of the service:
“I think that's kind of weird, too, for deposits to not be like a part of the service. I've seen people have booking fees and I just don't understand it, to be honest. I disagree with that kind of policy…By all means, people should do what works for them, but to me, it doesn't make sense. Why does somebody have to pay a fee just to book an appointment with you? I don't get it. It feels like exploitation.”
On stylists charging extra to style (straighten/curl) wigs, sew-ins etc., after installing:
“I don't get it. Clients come to us to get their hair done, to get it styled. So why is it extra for you to style it? If you're going to charge extra, just increase your price. I feel like it could be just a lack of confidence in those stylists, feeling like people won't pay a certain price for certain things, or just their lack of professionalism as well, because people are coming to us to get styled.”
On the infamous “Hey boo” text stylists send to clients when they need to cancel/reschedule:
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
We know all too well what kinds of things will keep us from ever gracing certain hairstylists’ chairs with our butts again. So, what should hairstylists do to provide a good service to their clients? What is good hairstylist etiquette?
“For one, being on time is an important rule for stylist etiquette. It's just not okay to require your clients to be on time, and you're not on time. Also, communication. Being able to communicate clearly, respectfully, and professionally, whether that's in person, via text, or on social media. Style is etiquette. Appearance matters. So just maintaining a clean, polished, and professional look. Clients respect you more whenever your appearance reflects your work. There's just so many things, but another thing I would say is active listening. So, being able to pay close attention to what your client wants and also clarifying any questions that they might have. Just to ensure that they feel heard and to minimize any misunderstandings.”
Dee also shared some red flags to look out for when considering a new stylist.
“Even me as a client, if I'm booking somebody and they have a long list of rules, I don't even book with them. That's, for one, just such a huge turn-off. Also, stylists who have inconsistent or unclear pricing, that's a red flag. People who change their rates too much without an explanation. Poor communication. So, if a stylist is responding very slow or responding unprofessionally, or giving vague answers to questions, that can make clients question whether or not they are respecting their time and their needs.
Another red flag - an inconsistent or low quality portfolio. And I feel like, I see this a lot with stylists stealing other people's work, and their portfolio on social media is just very inconsistent.”
We couldn’t let Dee go without getting the tea on what styles she predicts will trend in 2025.
“I feel like people are going back to natural-looking styles. So, a lot of people are ditching the wigs, the lace fronts, things like that. People are still wearing them, of course, but it is becoming more of a trend to embrace your natural hair and something that's not looking too fake. That’s one thing that we're going to be seeing a lot. I would say a lot of layers are coming back, heavy layers. Those are becoming really, really trendy. And people are leaning more towards platinum-colored hair. I've been seeing lots of like blondes coming out. Also, jet black is always going to be a trend. But I would say more like natural colors, but natural colors that are still making a statement.”
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Feature image by Antonio Livingston.
As a marriage life coach, something that my clients know will cause me to roll my eyes all the way back into my head is when they tell me that it’s been a while since they’ve had sex — and it’s all because they don’t have time. Umm, studies say that most people prefer for the literal act of sex (you know, intercourse) to last somewhere between 7-13 minutes, and if you can’t find the time to make that happen a couple of times a week? Yeah, I’ve got questions. Lots and lots of ‘em too.
A favorite quote of mine is by an author by the name of Nick Chellsen. He once said, “Boundaries are what you say 'no' to. Priorities are what you say 'yes' to,” and because sexual intimacy is such an essential part of a long-term committed relationship, I definitely think that couples should be super intentional about prioritizing it. And if it is indeed true that it’s challenging to find — no make — time, then plans should definitely be put in place to have a sexcation…a vacation that is solely devoted to enjoying sex with your partner. And since this year’s Valentine’s Day falls on a Friday, why not make it a sexcation weekend? Just you and your bae enjoying all that copulation has to offer.
Does that sound like a great idea? If so, here are 12 things that can take things up a few more notches on the pleasure and pure ecstasy experience tip.
1. Lighting and Mirrors Are an Absolute Must
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Sex under (or around) candlelight? Does it get any sexier (and sensual and romantic) than that? Hmph, probably not — especially if the candles have an aphrodisiac scent like jasmine, vanilla, or sandalwood. Yeah, very few things are able to immediately set the mood quite like soft lighting. And while I will personally always be a big fan of (soy) candles, I also want to shout-out something that I purchased for my own bedroom: an RGB Smart Lamp. Mine is small, comes with a remote control, and has a variety of shades of different colors to choose from including blue, purple, and red. Definitely, another way to set the tone for a very sexy sexcation.
And while we’re here, don’t underestimate what mirrors can do for you too. By positioning yourself in front of one, not only can it bring out the exhibitionist in you, it can also help you to see, in real-time, the level of desire that your partner has for you because you’re able to visually experience them from other angles. Plus, if there are certain positions that you (both) prefer that make it impossible to have eye contact — that is no longer the issue if you’re having sex in front of a mirror, now is it?
Even if you purchase a full-length one from a local store, you can use it during your sexcation and then keep it in your closet…until the next time that the urge strikes.
2. Hang a Sex-Themed Piñata
I’m a big fan of incorporating a piñata into a sexual experience; so much, in fact, that I mentioned one a few years ago in the article, “I've Got REALLY HOT 15 Spring/Summer-Themed Sex Hacks To Try.” To me, it’s a cute way to bring fun into sex by filling one up with things like flavored condoms and lube, edible panties, and whatever else, sex-themed, you can think of (that will comfortably fit). In the spirit of a sexcation, hang a piñata that is in the shape of — eh hem — “him” (here) and/or “you” (here). With it, the blindfold on y’all’s faces, a bat, and all of the goodies inside, how could a sex-themed piñata not put a few smiles and even laughs on both of your faces? C’mon…
3. Create a Signature Libido-Boosting Mocktail
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Have you ever been to a wedding where the couple featured signature cocktails — or mocktails (non-alcoholic cocktails) — at their reception? Usually, not only are the drinks customized but they are named after something sweet or endearing about the twosome as well. Well, you don’t need a wedding to enjoy your own signature beverage, and the reason why I’m shouting out mocktails is you can get the hydration and health benefits of the ingredients that are in them without the downside of alcohol like hangovers. In fact, some mocktails can even give your libido a boost.
You can check out several delicious recipes via “Sexy Sips: 8 Fall-Themed Mocktails That Are Aphrodisiacs Too” or, if you want to stick to the Valentine’s Day theme, get inspired by recipes like — Love Potion #9: Sparkling Cherry Spritzer - Valentine's Day Mocktail or Cocktail (here); Creamy Strawberry Cinnamon Mocktail (here); Valentine’s Day Aphrodisiac Mocktail (here); Sparkling Cranberry Kiss (here), or a Fig & Thyme Spritz (here). Add your own ingredients to specialize the drink and don’t forget to give masterpiece a sexy pet name to toast each other with.
4. DIY an Aphrodisiac Gift Basket
Customizing gift baskets can be a lot of fun — especially when the theme and focus is S-E-X. A local arts and crafts store is where you can find a basket and some cellophane wrap. As far as what to put in it: massage candles, edible massage gels, body paint, some (new) handcuffs, scented bath bombs, rose petals, body dust, edibles (check out “7 Proven Ways Weed Makes Sex So Much Better” and “Want More Frequent And Intensified Orgasms? Puff, Puff, Pass.” ), sex toys, Reddi-Wip…I think you get the picture. If you fill it up to the brim, you’ll have plenty of items that will keep you (sexually) motivated all weekend long.
5. Buy Each Other…Things to Wear
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Recently, I found myself in a state between finding something comical and damn near being triggered by it when a friend of mine told me that her husband told her that 1) he felt that he basically had no flaws and 2) he certainly doesn’t have them when it comes to how he expresses his love for her. Have mercy. It’s sheer nonsense like this that makes me say, more than I should ever have to, that WE alone cannot tell someone if we are a good lover or friend to them; THEY have to tell us (and vice versa). And what does that have to do with this point?
Although some of us are, certainly more than others, pretty much everyone is visually stimulated on some level and, although we may have some idea of what our partner likes — there’s no telling what we’d have on if it was left up to them to dress us. That said, why not use a Valentine’s Day sexcation as an opportunity to be each other’s…sensual stylist? Agree, beforehand, to only share each other’s sizes and then leave it up to one another to take it from there. You both might learn a thing or two about what (else) turns the two of you on if you do.
6. Increase Your Pheromones
Two things that many folks find themselves wondering about (as far as their legitimacy goes) are aphrodisiacs and pheromones. While aphrodisiacs are somewhat of a complex topic, when it comes to pheromones, specifically, it has been scientifically proven that they are substances/chemicals that one human secretes that grasp the attention of another. And how do sex pheromones increase?
Through exercise, sleep, and foods that contain the natural pheromones androstenone and androstenol including (believe it or not) celery, truffles, parsnips, and a blend of lavender and pumpkin pie. Out of all of this, did you peep that sleep raises (sex) pheromones? All I’m gonna say about that is check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand.” Sex and sleep? Rinse and repeat? Does a sexcation become any more blissful than that? I highly doubt it.
7. Take an Online Sex Course
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Right around this time, about three years ago, BuzzFeed published an article entitled, “These 22 Black Sex Educators Are Changing The Way We Think And Talk About Sex.” When it comes to this article, what it got me to thinking about is how beneficial it could be to take an online sex course while you and your man are relaxing (and sexing) at home. A married couple whose site is simply called Vanessa and Xander Marin has several courses here. There are also other options that you can find by going to your favorite search engine and putting “online sex courses” in the search field.
8. Play “Sex Truth or Dare”
Listen, if you want to have a potentially stress-filled Valentine’s Day, play “Never Have I Ever” with your partner (chile…that reminds me of the skit “Tiny P? Loose V” by Jade the Fade is startlingly hilarious). On the other hand, if you want to learn more about each other while also having a lot of fun, play a sexual version of the old favorite “Truth or Dare.” If your man chooses “truth,” you can ask things like “What’s your favorite sexual position?,” “Do you prefer oral or intercourse more?” or “What would you like to do that we’ve never attempted before?” — you know, things that will get him to open up to you in some different ways.
As far as dares go? Well, I’ll let you come up with some of those, although my next point can help to inspire you a bit (or you can purchase a Kinky Truth or Dare canister that already has some ideas prepared for you here ).
9. Alternate Sex Fantasies
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Probably the easiest way to explain a fantasy: it’s an idea or concept that is birthed out of your imagination. And here’s the thing — when it comes to executing some of your sexual fantasies, so long as you and your bae are mutually willing to try them out, it can make your sex life more spontaneous, more creative and so much more exciting. That said, in honor of the Valentine’s Day theme of your sexcation, why not start the time together off by agreeing that you each will share a fantasy and that you both will give what’s been said a shot?
Again, it’s got to be something that both feel safe and comfortable with; however, because a lot of couples fall into the rut of just “doing what works,” oftentimes they fail to bring deep desires to the forefront. A sexcation is the perfect time to change that. (By the way, some of the current most popular fantasies include BDSM, having sex in an unusual location, and taking oral sex to another level, so check out “9 Oral Sex Hacks To Make 2025 Your Most Satisfying Year Yet” when it comes to that last one).
10. Be Offline. THE ENTIRE TIME.
Unless you have young children (or sick parents), I don’t know why you need to be reachable during your sexcation. I also don’t know why it’s important to read news, scroll Instagram, or text folks for hours at a time. Hell, you can do all of that stuff when you get back to the real world. For now, enjoy the idea of focusing on no one and nothing else but you and your man. Besides, there is research to support the fact that intentional unplugging helps to reduce stress and stay in the moment which, interestingly enough, can increase your chances of having orgasms too. And speaking of orgasms…
11. Fill Up an “Orgasm Jar”
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Oh, the sex jar. If there is one thing that I wish that I had actually invented for my clients, it’s that. If you’ve never heard of one before, I once wrote about it: “5 Reasons Why Every Married Couple Needs A Sex Jar”. Long story short, whenever a couple has sex, they should put money in a jar and agree to not take any out until 6-12 months later — then they spend it on something to do together. Whether it’s a movie or an international vacation, it’s totally up to them.
Well, something that I did just make up is an orgasm jar. While you’re on your sexcation, whether it’s from oral sex, intercourse, mutual masturbation, or whatever else, put money into a jar, each and every time one of you climaxes. At the end of the sexcation, go on a date. Again, the kind of date depends on how intentional both of you were (if you know what I mean). #wink
12. Stay Naked (As Much As Possible)
Clothes on…FOR WHAT? With the exception of the sexy fashion show that I referenced earlier, make the mutual decision to rock your birthday suits for the entire Valentine’s Day weekend. Being naked helps to boost your (sexual) self-confidence, keeps your vagina happy, increases male fertility (if baby-making is on the menu), decreases stress and it definitely promotes intimacy. And all of those are ingredients for having an exceptional sexcation.
BONUS: Rent a Vacation House
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The reason why I addressed having a sexcation from the comfort and convenience of your own home is because, if money is tight, that doesn’t mean that you have to skimp out on some mind-blowing sex — not at all. However, I did recently pen a piece about the fact that something as simple as changing the scenery of where you “engage” can also take your sexual experiences up a few notches (check out “How To Level Up Intimacy And Make 2025 Your Hottest Sex Year Yet”). So, if you’ve got a few extra bucks, splurge on a vacation house rental — then “Cupid” each and every room!
Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all!
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