Should I Put My Dreams On Hold Until My Kids Go To College?

Should I Put My Dreams On Hold Until My Kids Go To College?

A lot of times, women are told that we must choose between having kids or having a successful career. If you're like me, a teen mom at 17 and a mom to a second child at 21, you've probably found out that many people, especially your close relatives, counted you out.

Defying the odds, stipulations, and limitations people placed on me due to my my circumstances, I have received a Bachelor's and Master's degree, taught middle school English for five years, become an adjunct professor, and built my entertainment brand: PacePoetry.

However, I've just scratched the surface of what God is calling me to do, and this journey is getting scarier by the day.

Beyond my understanding, God has called me to move from my home city of Houston, and start brand new in Atlanta. I've been accepted into Clark Atlanta's doctoral program for Africana Women's Studies (still trying to understand why He instructed me to apply for their program), and plan to extend my brand. I don't understand why I'm being pulled in that direction, but I have to be obedient.

With this transition, I have decided to allow my boys to stay back in Houston with my youngest son's dad (might as well say "their dad," but that's another article). To be honest, my 15-year-old came up with this plan. I was actually leaning towards them coming with me, but after much thought, his idea was the best for them because they will still be around all their family. Plus, I can focus heavily on my brand and school without having to make sure they're acclimating well to a foreign place.

We all know that when it comes to your life, everyone has opinions, and I've been catching hell for this decision.

Everyone is telling me that boys need to be with their mothers. While I believe this to be true to a degree, I also know that there is a ton of things that I won't be able to teach them when it comes to being a man. I don't have little babies; my boys are 15 and 11. I feel it is critical for them to get that consistent hands-on male guidance.

Also, I never wanted to be that mother who pushed her dreams on her kids. As much as we hate to admit it, as parents, our kids hear what we say, but they tend to emulate what we do. I want to show them how to pursue your dreams and believe the impossible.

I'm now teaching them that you should have no Plan B. God's plan is the only plan you need, and He has already provided you with the resources inside of you that you need to do what He has placed in you to do.

Yes, this lesson for them is coming as a huge sacrifice for all of us, but what am I supposed to do? Wait until they finish high school and try to pick things back up or spend the rest of my life wondering "what if" because people feel like I'm wrong?


Many times, I almost threw in the towel from everyone's opinions regarding my role as a mother, but this passion and drive God has grown inside of me won't let them break me to conform to what they feel I should do. This purpose is bigger than me and my kids, but it's also a blueprint to the legacy I am working to leave for my babies.

The word says to, "train a child", and training requires demonstration, not just those long parental speeches. And that's exactly what I intend to do.

Featured image by Shutterstock

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