Ronnie & Shamari DeVoe On The Keys To Their 14-Year Marriage
Ronnie and Shamari DeVoe's romance is more than 20 years in the making. The couple, who originally met at an award show in 2001, now share two children and have been married for 14 years but this R&B-inspired romance didn't come without a few bumps in the road. After navigating non-monogamy, infidelity, and domestic disagreements, both Ronnie and Shamari agree that their marriage is stronger than ever before and in a recent interview with Atlanta Black Star, the recently ordained wedding officiants spilled the tea on how they leveled up their communication skills and got their marriage all the way together.
Ronnie told Atlanta Black Star:
"If you stick and you stay committed in the relationship that you vow to, you know, be in for the rest of your life till death do us part ultimately then the blessings are right around the corner."
Scroll below to read Ronnie and Shamari DeVoe's keys to a successful marriage:
On Why Communication Is Key:
"Definitely going into your relationship with trust and communication. Being open, honest, my husband tells me that I am brutally honest. So that is one of the things that he really loves about me. The fact that he knows that I'm loyal, that I have his back regardless. Really just putting down the terms and conditions, laying that all down early in a relationship."
On Getting A Marriage Coach:
"A lot of times in our community, in the black community [especially for] males, they don't like to go to counseling. You can go and get a fitness coach and buff up and you can go and get an acting coach if you want to act, but it's like you don't want to go and get a marriage coach? A marriage coach actually helped, along with God, save our marriage and it's important that we stay committed and our family stays together because that really makes up our whole society."
On Removing Band-Aids From Past Hurt:
"Our whole community is affected by marriage, by divorce. It just boils down to that. So I think that the fact that he finally opened up to go into counseling because it's important that we don't just continue to put a band-aid over that wound. Instead of doing that, you need to go ahead and start the healing process. So it's, I think that's one of the things that I guess separates us from other couples that don't take advantage of marriage counseling."
On Scheduling Alone Time:
"Schedule things. Considering that we have two boys and they sleep in the middle of us, as far as at night, it's hard to get spicy in the middle of them. But, you have to schedule things and make sure you have those date nights, you know, once, maybe even twice a week. You can look into each other's eyes––whether that's a walk in the park, whether it's a night out on the town or dinner or a movie or what have you. It's about maintenance for each other. And knowing your love languages and speaking to those things as often as possible."
Featured image by Marcus Ingram/Getty Images
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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You've Never Seen Luke James In A Role Quite Like This
Over the years, we've watched Luke James play countless characters we'd deem sex symbols, movie stars, and even his complicated character in Lena Waithe's The Chi. For the first time in his career, the New Orleans-born actor has taken on a role where his signature good looks take a backseat as he transforms into Edmund in Them: The Scare—a mentally deranged character in the second installment of the horror anthology serie that you won't be able to take your eyes off.
Trust us, Edmund will literally make you do a double take.
xoNecole sat down with Luke James to talk about his latest series and all the complexity surrounding it—from the challenges taking on this out-of-the-box role to the show's depiction of the perplexing history of the relationship between Black Americans and police. When describing the opportunity to bring Edmund's character to life, Luke was overjoyed to show the audience yet another level of his masterful acting talents.
"It was like bathing in the sun," he said. "I was like thank you! Another opportunity for me to be great—for me to expand my territory. I'm just elated to be a part of it and to see myself in a different light, something I didn't think I could do." He continued, "There are parts of you that says, 'Go for it because this is what you do.' But then also that's why it's a challenge because you're like 'um I don't know if I'm as free as I need to be to be able to do this.' Little Marvin just created such a safe space for me to be able to do this and I'm grateful for everything I've been able to do to lead to this."
Courtesy
Them: The Scare, like the first season, shines a light on the plight of Black Americans in the United States. This time the story is taking place in the 1990s, at the height of the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles. While the series presents many underlying themes, one that stands out is Black people and the complicated relationship with the police. "For the audience, I think it sets the tone for the era that we're in and the amount of chaos that's in the air in Los Angeles and around the country from this heinous incident. And I say it just sets the tone of the anxiety and anxiousness that everybody is feeling in their own households."
James has been a longtime advocate against police brutality himself. He has even featured Elijah McClain, the 23-year-old Colorado man who died after being forcibly detained by officers, as his Instagram avatar for the past five years. So, as you can imagine, this script was close to his heart. "Elijah was a soft-loving oddball. Different than anyone but loving and a musical genius. He was just open and wanted to be loved and seen."
Getty Images
Luke continued, "His life was taken from him. I resonate with his spirit and his words...through all the struggle and the pain he still found it in him to say, 'I love you and I forgive you.' And that's who we are as people—to our own detriment sometimes. He's someone I don't want people to forget. I have yet to remove his face from my world because I have yet to let go of his voice, let go of that being [because] there's so many people we have lost in our history that so often get forgotten."
He concluded, "I think that's the importance of such artwork that moves us to think and talk about it. Yes, it's entertaining. We get to come together and be spooked together. But then we come together and we think, 'Damn, Edmund needed someone to talk to. Edmund needed help... a lot [of] things could have been different. Edmund could have been saved.'
Check out the full interview below.
Luke James Talks Ditching Sex Symbol Status For "Them: The Scare", Elijah McClain, & Morewww.youtube.com
Featured image by Getty Images