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How To Introduce Role-Playing In The Bedroom, According To An Expert
If you've ever considered role-playing in the bedroom but are trying to figure out how to bring it up to your partner, you're in the right place. It's an exciting way to ignite passion, deepen intimacy, and explore hidden desires. But for couples who are new to the kink, the thought of role-play might be intimidating.
Role-playing is an intimate, consensual activity where couples assume fictional personas in the bedroom. These characters can range from the playful and innocent to the bold and naughty. They engage in different scenarios and act out various fantasies, which are discussed beforehand.
"Role play encourages couples to discuss their desires, boundaries, and fantasies. It fosters open and honest communication about their sexual preferences, leading to a deeper understanding of each other's needs," MoAndra Johnson, MFT, said. "It keeps the spark alive in the relationship by introducing new and exciting elements to the intimate moments."
Johnson is a Sex and Relationship Therapist and founder of Sex On The Table (SOTT), LLC. She passionately advocates for healthy sexuality, positive relationships, and social justice. She spoke with xoNecole to explore the realm of role-playing: how to bring it up to your partner, misconceptions, and how to incorporate role-playing into your sex life successfully.
How to Bring Up the Idea of Role-Play
When introducing role-play in the bedroom to your partner, it's essential to set the stage for an open and honest conversation. Find a relaxed, private setting where you both feel comfortable and free from distractions. Feel free to share your interest in role-playing, highlighting the excitement and sense of adventure it can bring to your relationship. Encourage your partner to express their thoughts and feelings, assuring them that their desires and boundaries are equally important.
"Many couples worry that their partner might judge them for their fantasies or desires. A non-judgmental and open environment is crucial for role-play. Couples need to create a safe space to share their fantasies and understand that vulnerability is a part of healthy intimacy," Johnson explained.
"Role-playing can serve as a form of escapism from the stresses of daily life. It provides an opportunity to temporarily step away from real-world responsibilities and enjoy a playful, stress-free experience," she continued.
Johnson mentioned that this initial conversation is "a foundation for trust and understanding."
The Misconceptions of Role-Play
Misconceptions about bedroom role-play often revolve around the idea that it must be overly complicated or extravagant, like something from a Hollywood movie. People might think they need elaborate costumes, props, and intricate dialogue, which can feel intimidating.
In reality, role-play can be as simple or intricate as you and your partner want it to be. You can start with basic scenarios that require little to no preparation, such as a playful encounter with a sexy twist. It can be tailored to your preferences and comfort levels, making it an accessible and enjoyable tool for spicing up your intimate life.
"Couples often have common concerns and misconceptions about role-play when considering it part of their intimate lives. Addressing these concerns and misconceptions in therapy involves open and honest discussions, education about healthy role-play, and creating a safe and supportive space for couples to explore their desires and fantasies," said Johson. "It's important to emphasize that there is no one-size-fits-all approach, and the most crucial element is mutual consent, comfort, and enjoyment."
Johnson shared that some of the more common misconceptions she addresses with couples are performance pressure, negative impact on the relationship, and fear of crossing boundaries.
"For instance, couples may worry about performing well in their roles. I remind them that there is no need for perfection in role-play. It's about creating an enjoyable and fulfilling experience, not putting on a flawless performance," Johnson explained.
How to Successfully Pull Off Role-Playing in the Bedroom
The fun begins once both parties mutually agree on trying the act of role-play and boundaries are set.
"I strongly recommend setting specific boundaries and guidelines before engaging in role-play to ensure a positive and enjoyable experience for both partners. Open and honest communication is essential; candidly discuss your comfort levels, desires, and limits. Establishing safe words that can immediately halt the role-play if anyone feels uncomfortable is crucial. Consent should be enthusiastic and can be withdrawn at any point without judgment," Johnson stated.
Furthermore, maintaining emotional safety is paramount in any intimate exploration. Role-play often involves vulnerability, and you should both feel secure in expressing your desires and boundaries without judgment. It fosters trust and strengthens the bond between you and your partner.
"Emotional boundaries should be respected, especially if the role-play scenario involves sensitive topics. Be clear about the limits of the role-play, including what actions or behaviors are acceptable and what is off-limits." Johnson added.
Next, choose scenarios that excite both of you and align with your preferences and fantasies. The selection of costumes and props enhances the overall experience by adding an extra layer of excitement and authenticity to your role-play scenarios.
Johnson mentioned that if physical restraints or props are involved, prioritize physical safety to prevent accidents.
As you engage in role-play, fully immerse yourselves in the chosen roles. Let go of inhibitions and self-consciousness, allowing the experience to be playful and enjoyable. Once again, the goal is not to perform flawlessly but to create a shared adventure that brings you closer.
Aftercare
When the moment is over, remember to practice aftercare.
"After the role-play, debrief and discuss the experience to strengthen your connection and understanding. Regular check-ins during the role-play can confirm ongoing consent and comfort. Keep the contents of your role-play private and emphasize trust and support. Most importantly, practice aftercare to provide emotional support, reaffirm affection, and address emotional needs," said Johnson.
She revealed that aftercare includes cuddling, holding, pillow talk, sensual talk, and more.
"Overall, it just means you aren't taking each other for granted. You're showing your partner you care and are now at least slightly more deeply connected with them than before you had sex," Johnson added.
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This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Tubi has been gaining popularity due to its free sign-up and a vast selection of series and films. According to Deadline, the FAST (free ad-streaming television) service has seen a 14.7% growth from May and now has similar numbers to Disney+. So while many people have joked about Tubi having low-budget movies, the numbers don't lie.
In fact, I was one of those people who didn't get the appeal of Tubi, but the more I watched it, the more I enjoyed the content. They have some of our favorite TV series, such as Scandal and Star, as well as big films like the Fast and Furious franchise and cult classic Love & Basketball.
Tubi even has its own original movies and series that are just as entertaining. But while Tubi is on the come up, some of the low-budget movies and hood movies are still a must-watch. From Tubi originals to the hood movies, we've put together a list of shows and movies to add to your watchlist.
Cinnamon
Cinnamon is an original Tubi movie that stars Hailey Kilgore (Juke from Power Book III: Raising Kanan), Damon Wayans, and Pam Grier. It's a love story gone awry after a robbery turns deadly, and a young couple faces many challenges to make it out alive.
The Dirty D
The Dirty D is one of the first things I watched on Tubi, as many people highly recommended it. It's a series set in a Detroit club, and it has all the drama you can think of. Murder, drug dealing, cheating, greed, and more.
Black Men Don't Cheat
In this film, a young woman grapples with the death of her husband while also discovering his secret life, which puts her in danger.
Mother May I
This movie fully captivates the overbearing mother. However, the ending will shock you as she goes a little too far.
The Stepdaughter
When a young girl moves in with her dad and his new wife, a series of unfortunate events occurs. This Tubi original will keep your attention with every turn.
These Men For Everybody
These Men For Everybody is a film that highlights the tangled web of friendships and relationships and how you can't trust anybody.
Best Friend
What happens when your best friend is obsessed with you? This movie, which stars Serayah and Marques Houston, answers this very question and takes us on a ride in the process.
What's Done After Dark
What's Done After Dark shows us that everything isn't always what it seems. The twist at the end is a real doozy.
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