Master Stylist Ashanti Lation Talks Success And Molding Normani's Iconic Ponytail
I have a love-hate relationship with the classic '90s ponytail. I love how versatile it is. It works for every hair type/texture and it fits every occasion from day to night. On the not-so-loving note: It's an addictive style and doing it too much can mean constant tension, eventually wreaking havoc on your roots and edges. If done right though, you can get the sleekness without the damage.
My forever high-ponytail inspo is our Queen Normani. She kills it every time. From the debut of her "Motivation" video to "Wild Side," it has become her aesthetic, and she's bodied every version of the '90s look since. So who better to get tips on creating a high ponytail from than one of her stylists, Ashanti Lation. The master stylist and CEO of VIP Luxury Hair Care sat down with xoNecole to tell us how she got started, her best tips for creating the perfect ponytail, and how to protect your hair while doing it.
Darius Varnado
xoNecole: What inspired you to become a hairstylist? Where did you start?
Ashanti Lation: I started doing hair in high school because I wanted my hair done all the time. Then, I would try [styles] and it came out good to me, [so] a few other people would ask me to do their hair. About a week later, I started charging my neighbors and other high schools in my city. From that point on, I got popular.
I also have eczema and allergies so because of that the skincare aspect of doing hair was always important to me. I always focused on the hair [and scalp] because I was particular about what my clients used and didn't want it to affect my skin. If you know anyone with eczema, then you know if it breaks out on your hands or neck, it takes a long time to recover. In initially being cautious, my clients would have great results for their hair, and I followed that path with them. I started studying the skin [and] scalp and creating products.
Jerritt Clark via Getty Images
When did you start working with Normani?
I'm the healthy hair guru, and a couple of celebrities and people in other industries have reached out to me asking for hair advice. She [had been] using our products [Greaux Drops] because a frontal had damaged her hair a little bit and the product was helping her hair grow back. She [contacted me] when she was in New Orleans and said, "Let's connect," and so we did and I did my thing. From that moment on, I've been her go-to haircare specialist.
When it comes to styling ponytails and keeping haircare in mind, what recommendations do you have to avoid damage?
It can be trying on the edges and at the top of your head from tension. Some people start to have bald spots at the top because the ponytails are very heavy, so I always tell people:
Avoid too much tension. Some people will make a section then swoop another section on top [to make it sleek and get it in a ponytail] it's too much. Try to get the hair as sleek as possible before you pull it up in a ponytail. So if you have to get a silk press first to smooth it out, then do that first. Prep the hair before you start the ponytail!
Use less product. Use holding spray first because sometimes using excessive gels, puddings, and wax, can become a lot, especially for the finer hair types. It will pull it out then thin it out.
Use the right band. Putting too many bands [on your hair] can damage the crown and cause balding. I like to use thick black rubber bands. Some people like scrunchies but I never try to unwrap them when taking them out. Just cut it out and throw it away! Don't try to keep using it because you'll get it tangled like that.
The base of the ponytail is important. Don't just use one rubber band. Use at least two and the wraps to create a structure like you're building something. It needs to be strong enough to support the hair. If you're doing one band, all that tension falls on your hair trying to hold the ponytail up. You can also do the ponytail on your thickest area so it will be less damaging to your hair.
Be gentle. Haircare is a slow dance, not a fast song.
Noam Galai via Getty Images
What products are needed to achieve a Normani-inspired ponytail?
A pomade like Jam and an edge control like Elite Edge. You can use wax if you want but don't use gel. You'll need the hair of your choice. You can finish with a light-holding spray. You'll also need thick rubber bands and wrapping strips.
Can you walk us through your step-by-step process of creating a ponytail and prepping for it?
For a heat-free process, you'll need more product to sleek it because you're laying it down. For Normani's hair, we don't use any heat at all. We twist it and let it dry overnight. It will be sleek and you'd think we pressed it.
1. Make sure you smooth your ponytail out as much as you can before you put the product on it.
2. Use a pomade like Jam and add the Elite edge control on top of that and smooth it out with your hands.
3. Tie it up with the black hair wraps and let it settle until it's fully dry.
4. When you take it down it holds but it's still soft.
5. Use two bands and then start your top knot.
If you use heat and flat-iron it first, you can pretty much slick it up with a little serum and a holding spray to keep it in place.
What hair would you recommend? We know that some hair can be heavier than others.
There's human hair or braid hair. Try to weigh it out and see what feels better to you. It depends on your texture. Less is always more if you can get hair that's fuller. And avoid using too many bags of hair.
For more hair tips and product recommendations, follow Ashanti Lation on Instagram.
Featured image by Jerritt Clark via Getty Images
Freelance writer, content creator, and traveler. She enjoys the beauty of simplicity, a peaceful life, and a big curly fro. Connect with Krissy on social media @iamkrissylewis or check out her blog at www.krissylewis.com.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
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Featured image by Juan Moyano/Getty Images