A very wise woman told me that timing is everything when it comes to love, and it got me thinking about a few of my former suitors. There were a lot of good men who, although I adored, showed up at the wrong time in my life. Growth is one hell of a thing, and Nazanin Mandi and Miguel saw this firsthand throughout their 14-year-long relationship. In a recent episode of the podcast, Ladies Like Us, the newly married couple opened up about why taking a year-long break ultimately saved their relationship.
The couple, who met fresh out of high school at only 18 and 19 years old and married last November said that although their connection was immediate upon meeting, their journey hasn't been perfect. Nazanin explained:
"First of all, you're just not, and you think you are, but you're not mentally mature to handle a serious relationship. Honestly. And it could be different for some people, but I know in our situation, no, we just were not at all. Yeah. And we weren't ready to take on what we did either."
Miguel admitted to being unfaithful early in the relationship, leading to a series of breakups and an abundance ugly crying. Although the singer said that he has always maintained his love for Nazanin, his newfound industry lifestyle kept him distracted and eager to explore:
"I loved her. I wasn't necessarily always in love with her at the time. And my actions showed that. Because I didn't really know, I was still discovering things for myself about me. And how to love myself and going through that, just transitioning from being a little more obscure and like all of my time and energy going into music. So a lot of the energy and time went to that and our relationship didn't get a lot of the nurturing that could have been shown to her that, that she deserved, that we deserve."
After realizing that he was not fully in a place to commit, Miguel and Nazanin decided to put their relationship on hold to work on themselves, and when they reunited, they made a promise to each other to consistently have a therapist in the room. Miguel said that seeking professional help as it relates to their relationship has been a game-changer:
"This is how we level up and how it becomes real because everyone comes from different kinds of realities, we see love in different ways. We appreciate and receive love in different ways. And I think it was when we saw a therapist that helped us understand, it was like an a-ha in a lot of ways. Sometimes you can hear someone but it doesn't mean you're listening. So while you're arguing, while you're explaining your point, you're just holding on to this thing that you're trying to prove."
Nazanin shared that even now that they're living in marital bliss, they make sure to see a therapist regularly to ensure that nothing slips through the cracks:
"Now it helps us communicate better at home. We go to therapy now, not because we need it because it's our emotional gym. Instead of trying to fix things, it's just more maintenance. And it's a beautiful thing to be at that place. But if we do have an issue, nothing's perfect over here, I do know that we can eventually talk it out and make it work."
Miguel says that although he doesn't believe in soulmates, he does believe that he and Nazanin have a love that's worth fighting (and even going to therapy for):
"I think the most important thing is that it's going to be work. One, in life, do things that you love, be with someone that you actually love. At least you know that there's a reason. I think that's why when we talk about partnership, it's not about the expectation of the title."
To listen to the full podcast click here!
Featured image by @nazaninmandi.