Ever wonder who is the brain behind the most epic Hollywood parties? Or who is the creative genius that comes up with such unique ideas and concepts for the most talked about events in town? Well, if you've ever attended a Kanye West, Mary J. Blige, or Common party, you might have experienced the work of these two trailblazing sisters.
Miatta David Johnson and Massah David are the founders of creative agency MVDInc. The agency is an innovative branding company that focuses on strategic marketing/planning for a number of Hollywood's biggest names. Founded in 2002, these sisters have been busy working with a roster of A-list celebrities and Fortune 500 companies to help manifest their vision and create memorable experiences for all who attend. While these ladies have created a number of impressive events within their career over the last 15 years, what's most impressive, is their journey to success.
Miatta and Massah are originally Liberian refugees.
In 1980, there was a coup in their home country, that changed the lives of these sisters as they knew it. Their father was elected mayor of Monrovia, Liberia and their great uncle was the President of Liberia. The coup overtook the government, resulting in the murder of their uncle and the imprisonment of their father. Their father was then placed in a camp for approximately 18 months, as their mother worked vigorously to have him released. Once he was finally released, the family sought political asylum in the U.S but the entire family would not be granted simultaneously. Miatta alongside her two brothers and father came first, while her mother and Massah would arrive a couple years later.
The family was eventually reunited and neither their struggles or hardships shook their desire to succeed. Once in the U.S, they resided in Maryland, and Miatta and Massah went on to obtain degrees from top universities, Howard University and NYU respectively.
The first of many successes, the sisters then took their talents to NYC where Miatta worked on Wall Street and Massah worked in music management. Both careers were short lived when the sisters realized their real passion for entertainment and marketing, and then birthed their vision of MVDInc. And the rest is history.
Miatta and Massah chatted with xoNecole about being refugees, creating MVD Inc, and the most important lessons they've learned about entrepreneurship.
I know you two are originally from Liberia, what was it like having to leave your country?
Miatta: Our life changed forever after the coup in Liberia. We left behind everything we had. Our parents had to start all over. It was disruptive to say the least.
"Our life changed forever. We left behind everything we had."
Massah: I was very young when we left, so I honestly don't remember much. I look forward to going back and spending some much needed time there.
How has that experience affected you today?
Miatta: Witnessing the sheer drive and resilience to provide a full life for a family of six is not lost on us. It helped to define and mold us into the people we are today.
Massah: Based off of the stories that I've heard growing up, it makes me grateful to be alive and reminds me that I'm not here by mistake. It drives me to walk in purpose and live my best life.
Jay L. Clendenin / Los Angeles Times
What led you two in creating MVD Inc? Take me back to where it all began and getting your very first client.
Miatta: MVD Inc was created to fill a void in how our stories are told. I wanted our firm to be known for tapping into the untold narrative and presenting it in a non-traditional way. Prior to MVD Inc, I worked as a financial reporter for Dow Jones. I began to lose my love for economic reporting and the emerging markets, my interest slowly shifted to my love of music. I was working for free as a publicist for a few friends in the music business while still at Dow Jones. After juggling both roles, I realized that I loved what I was doing for free more than my day job. Friends of ours encouraged me to pursue Music PR full-time. So I took a leap of faith, quit my job, and used my 401k to start the business. Those friends were Barkue Tubman and Blue Williams, who managed Outkast at the time. After watching me hustle to get them placements at no charge for a year, they decided to give us a shot and become our first client.
"MVD Inc was created to fill a void in how our stories are told."
Massah: I was working my way through the ranks in the music business, from intern to assistant to eventually an executive. So I would moonlight on the side with Miatta coming up with the vision for MVD Inc, the creative and marketing, etc while working at an independent label. Because I'm non-traditional in my approach to work, I yearned for the room to grow, be my own boss, and work on projects I was truly passionate about. So I left the label and dedicated all of [my] time to helping mold and grow MVD's event experiences.
What is the overall motive of MVD Inc?
Massah: The motive of MVD Inc is to make sure that we are represented in rooms and conversations we may typically not be invited to.
Miatta: We really want to change the view of what not just women but black women can accomplish.
What has being entrepreneurs taught you about yourself?
Massah: Being an entrepreneur has taught me that only you can place limits on what you can accomplish. It's reaffirmed for me that there is no one path to success, you pave your way as you see fit, and you don't have to conform to do so.
Miatta: Being an entrepreneur taught [me] that I'm stronger than I realize. I am not a fan of change but I've learned to become more open to pivoting and remaining laser focused on the bigger picture. The route may not be how you imagined but when your gut is your compass it never takes you off course.
How has it been working side by side with your sister on this journey?
Massah: Working side by side was challenging at first, because I wanted to make sure that my voice was heard and respected despite being the younger sibling. We both have our strengths. [For example] Miatta is left brain and I'm right, but you need to utilize both in order to function and thrive. So, it took a while for us to come to an understanding that at MVD we are sisters but partners first. It also helps that we truly have a love and respect for one another. That's rare to find in business.
Being black women in Hollywood with your own creative agency doesn't sound easy, what struggles did you two face or continue to face?
Miatta: It's not easy. Many of the struggles begin with the fact that we are in a male-dominated industry coupled with the fact that we are two black women. Often times people that may not be familiar with your work automatically have a preconceived notion of your capabilities and reach. So much of it is dispelling those notions and letting the work speak for itself.
For young women looking to step into this industry, what advice would you give them?
Miatta: Perfect your craft, learn and understand the business you are looking to pursue, and always trust your gut.
Massah: Remain true to who you are. Get hands-on experience because there is no better teacher.
You two are such a positive representation for women everywhere with all you have accomplished on your own, when it's all said and done, what do you want your legacy to be?
Massah: I would really want to continue our family's legacy of firsts. Our father was the first elected Mayor of Monrovia, our brother is the first black man and openly gay man to serve as chief counsel to the governor of New York. So needless to say we have very big shoes to fill (laughs).
Miatta: What she said (laughs)
To keep up with these trailblazing sisters, be sure to check out their website www.MVDinc.us and follow them at @Miattajohnson & @Massahdavid.
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
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Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Personally, that is just one of the things I experienced while growing up, although the main reason why I’ve been estranged from my mother for (I think) about six years now (I honestly haven’t really been keeping track at this point) is because she simply doesn’t respect my boundaries. Even well into my adulthood, she has refused to do it and it was messing with my inner peace and personal growth on a few different levels — and y’all, I don’t care who it is, no one should have that kind of power over someone else’s life (if you want to read more about my journey with estrangement, I tackle the topic in my latest book).
And before some of you come with the ever-so-manipulated Bible verse “Honor your father and mother” (Exodus 20:12), I hope you also remember that there is a Scripture that says, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4 — NKJV) To provoke is “to stir up, arouse, or call forth (feelings, desires, or activity)”; know what else it is: “to anger, enrage, exasperate, or vex.” Funny how it is not preached or taught nearly enough that parents are absolutely not supposed to raise their kids or treat their adult children in a way that angers, enrages, exasperates, or vexes them — and think about it: when’s the last time you heard a sermon on that? I’ll wait.
Besides, unless you’re someone who has made the courageous decision to put distance between the person/people who’ve raised you, you honestly don’t get how much of a sacrifice it can be. Very few of us are flippant about that decision. Very few of us saw our adult life without our parent(s) in it. Very few of us wanted to deal with all of the “fallout” that comes with making that kind of choice because listen, for me, it’s almost like being in witness protection in the sense of having to also leave certain people who are associated with her alone as well because either they also don’t respect boundaries or they try further victimize me by attempting to impose their opinions into something that they absolutely shouldn’t (for instance, when I shared what I went through with her, one of my closest friends at the time, more than once called me “petty”…yeah, he had to go; you don’t have to defend why you need to protect yourself…if you are doing that, those are unsafe people you are talking to).
It’s not like I’m rare either. In fact, it’s been reported that close to 30 percent of adults are currently estranged from at least one of their parents (you can read about it here, here, here, here, and here). And with that being said, today, we’re going to hear from 10 women (well, technically 12 if you include the videos at the beginning and end) as they share their own reasons why they made the decision to go “no contact” with their own parent/parents.
If you are estranged, I hope you will see that you are not alone. If you aren’t, I hope it will help you to have more compassion for those who have made this kind of choice. Because although “adulthood is surviving childhood” is true for many of us, it actually wasn’t supposed to be that way. And so, we’ve had to take great lengths to go from “surviving” to “flourishing”…even if that meant doing it without the ones who — alongside God, of course — created us.
Article continues after the video.
*Middle names are used so that people can speak freely*
1. Michelle. 32. Estranged from Her Mother for Four Years.
Giphy“My mother is a narcissist — only I didn’t know it because I didn’t have much to compare her to because she kept me away from a lot of…everything. Ironically, that is a telling sign that you’ve got a narcissistic parent: they think you are an extension of them, so they try and make you do everything just like them. Since they are so bad at respecting boundaries, they don’t care how old you are — they think they have a say in every decision that you make because their ego is bigger than their love.
It took me years of therapy to recognize this but once I did and I told my mom that she was hypercritical, that she used to pit me and my siblings against each other, that she only knows how to gaslight and manipulate — she played the victim and told me that if I couldn’t accept her as she was, we couldn’t have a relationship.
That’s another thing about narcissist: they hate accountability. I think there should be more articles about parents who are estranged from their kids because they pull that ‘my way or the highway’ BS. I didn’t exactly leave my mom, but I did tell her what I wasn’t going to tolerate. We haven’t spoken in four years, ever since I drew that line. She left because she didn’t know how to humble herself, and I am fine with that. Arrogant people are toxic to be around.”
2. Iyan. 36. Estranged from Her Parents for 11 Years.
Giphy“I don’t think that a lot of parents get that they act like their kids should idolize them, which is crazy. We’re not toys or puppets who are supposed to do whatever they say, whenever they say it. Even as a parent myself, I think there is a difference between a child’s individuality and a child obeying me. Too many other parents have too much ego to think the differences through. To your question — I am estranged from my parents because they disapproved of who I chose to marry. He’s not the same faith as them but I don’t think that would even matter because they damn near betrothed me when I was a kid.
They wanted to choose my career path, my husband, my role in church — everything. It got to the point where they were disrespecting my husband, our relationship, and my feelings, and so it was time to boomerang their own Bible and remind them that when you get married, you ‘leave and cleave’ to your spouse and move on from your family. If your family accepts that, they can be in your life. If not, you’ve got to move on. They chose for me to be estranged, not me. I put my husband first, just like I was supposed to.”
3. Jahkai. 29. Estranged from Her Mother for Four Years.
Giphy“Sometimes I think that people just have children so that they can have someone to boss around as kids and intimidate when they become adults. My mother is one of those people because it’s like her whole existence centers around trying to force me to live the life that she wants me to live. I used to be so afraid of her, even if that just meant afraid of her rejection, that I would go along with it.
Then I got pregnant with my daughter and saw that she wasn’t even going to respect me as a mom — and when I saw signs that she was going to try and pull that shit with my own child? The claws came out. I tried expressing my concerns and setting some boundaries, but she dismissed my feelings and walked right over my boundaries, so she had to go. There was no way that she was going to try and raise the child I birthed. My child needs peace. So do I.”
4. Gillian. 24. Estranged from Her Parents for Almost Two Years.
Giphy“I’m bisexual. That’s the beginning and end of it. I personally think it’s creepy when a parent can be so invested into their grown child’s sexuality that it ends up wrecking their own world. You sleep with who you want to sleep with, and I will do the same.
My parents don’t see it that way. They told me that unless I stop loving women, we have nothing to talk about. You only love me if I love who and how you love? That doesn’t sound like love at all.
I don’t expect my parents to agree with my life or even like it. I just don’t want you penalizing me because we are different. Seems really immature to be any other way…to me, anyway.”
5. Aubrie. 27. Estranged from Father for Four Years.
Giphy“My father always wanted me to be an accountant, and I hate math. That’s insane. That’s what happens when you don’t make the time to get to know your own children. So many parents are egomaniacs in that way — just because I look like you doesn’t mean that I am you. Until my sophomore year in college, I just held my tongue and suffered through my education because when I was living at home, I didn’t really have a choice, and when I went to school, my parents paid for my education.
They didn’t want me to have any debt, and I appreciated that, but my spirit was going into debt anyway because my dad had me on a path that I didn’t like or want, and my mom was too weak to speak up for either one of us. By my junior year, I couldn’t take it anymore and decided to get student loans, so that I could start over and major in English. That pissed my dad off two ways because I was changing my major and I was going to take on debt.
We’re not estranged in the classic sense. It’s more like he doesn’t come to the phone whenever I call, and he grunts words over the holidays. So, I call less and go home even less than that. We’re headed towards ‘no contact’ if he doesn’t get over the fact that he has a life, and so do I.”
6. Lameeya. 41. Estranged from Her Mother for Eight Years.
Giphy“My mother? I just don’t like her — I never really have. I can’t stand how we’ll all agree that you should choose your friends wisely, but when it comes to your blood, it’s like you should be all in their lap simply because they are related to you. Toxic is toxic, and my mother is the embodiment of that. She plays mind games. She manipulates. She gaslights. She’s spoiled and entitled. I would never pick her as a friend. She drains me in every way. It’s like whenever I would even sense that she was going to call or come around, I would get hives, and it got to the point where it didn’t make sense that I should suffer just because she’s my mother. Who came up with that?”
7. Sloane. 25. Estranged from Her Mother for One Year.
Giphy“I grew up COGIC. If you know, you know. When you’re a kid, you don’t know any different or better, but once I started to seek out my own path, I realized that Christianity just wasn’t for me. My mother damn near lives at church and so, of course, I was declaring that I wanted to go to hell in her eyes when I told her that I had chosen the Baháʼí faith. Christians can be so rude. Somehow, they want you to respect what they believe, but they are so comfortable preaching hell and damnation if you don’t think like them.
Anyway, a part of why I chose Baháʼí is because it’s very peaceful to me, and religion never brought me peace in my mother’s house. Now that I’m all about this peace-filled life, anything that is ‘anti’ it has to go. She was on the top of my list. If you can’t respect what makes me ‘me,’ why are you here? It’s just been a year now. If we remain out of contact, that’s kind of on her, but I have no desire to hear her preach every time we speak. Be my mom. I don’t want a pastor.”
8. Torrin. 33. Estranged from Her Parents for Six Years.
Giphy“You have your own dysfunctional issues going on if you think that you owe someone your sanity simply because they birthed you. A good parent doesn’t just give you life — they provide a safe environment for that life, and my parents didn’t.
My mother was hell on wheels, and my father was a weak man who let her be that way. She was controlling, erratic, and exhausting, while he just let it all happen.
I recently read that Khloe Kardashian said that her mom didn’t like it when she first started therapy. Controlling parents never do. It took me a lot of therapy to stop beating myself up mentally the way that my mother did emotionally and sometimes physically, but once I got that she was the problem and healing was the solution, I had no problem letting them both go: her for being abusive and my father for being complacent.”
9. Kristine. 40. Estranged from Her Mother for Six Months.
Giphy“You always want your parents to get along with your husband — I just didn’t bet on my mother loving him more than me, especially now that we are divorced. That man cheated on me, more than once, and although I didn’t tell my mom while we were married about it, once we separated and I explained why I made what was a really difficult decision for me, she kept finding excuses for him and even tried to make me feel bad for not trying to make it work. Divorces are hard, and the last thing I needed was my mother trying to ‘beat me up’ for standing up for myself.
Now I’ve got questions about her marriage because if you think that I should tolerate nonsense, have you been tolerating your husband’s? Has he been tolerating yours? You get a certain age, and you start to wonder how much projecting your parents do onto you. Anyway, we haven’t talked to each other in six months. She and my ex apparently still go out to dinner, though. You two enjoy.”
10. Madolyn. 45. Estranged from her Father for 20 Years.
Giphy“I had an abusive father. He was an alcoholic while I was growing up, and so fear instead of love kept me in communication with him once I became an adult. The plot twist is, he got clean while I was in college, but he suddenly had all kinds of amnesia about the pain that he caused. His apologies were sh-t like ‘I don’t remember that, but if you need me to apologize, okay.’ So, our lives were a living hell, and that’s all you’ve got because it hurts you too much to face it? Ain’t that a bitch.
The last time we spoke was right before I turned 25. I think someone is more harmful when they can’t own their sh-t than when they are actually doing it, because that means they could do it again. No thanks. I’ll take wholeness.”
____
As you can see, being estranged from a parent, going “no contact” with them, it has many layers, reasons, and scenarios. For me, as I listened to all of these women, what did come to my mind, though, is — how beautiful is it that, if the “beauty for ashes” in their stories is they had the strength to become self-aware, self-sufficient and healthy adults in spite of the cracks in their foundation, then there is a silver lining in it all. You should never feel guilt or shame for protecting yourself in ways that your parents absolutely should have. NOT. EVER.
And so, the sacrifice was well worth it — because ladies, look at you now. Salute.
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