Me, Myself & I: How To Gain Strength When It Feels Like You're All You Have
Feeling like you are the only person that you have to depend on can be a very pressing emotion to deal with. When you go through rough patches in life, it can sometimes seem like you can only tread alone because there's no one in your corner. I am no stranger to finding that I have been my own greatest rock. Speaking from experience and my own current reality, I probably have about one or two people whom I can absolutely depend on when times get rough, and you might be surprised just how many people find themselves in the same predicament.
Sometimes in life we go through purges where it seems that the number of people we can count on in our lives dwindles down to just you! There are many reasons that this happens, and they are just as internal as they are external. Read on to learn how to navigate experiencing an extended period of having to "go it alone."
Ground & Center
When feeling like you are holding the weight of the world all on your own, there is no space for you to crumble under the pressure. If you find yourself in a space where you literally only have yourself to depend on, you need to ensure that your emotional, mental, and energetic space is stable. This incorporates the importance of having your mental health in check.
When going at it alone for an extended period of time in your life, you must build a strong sense of self, resilience, and emotional security. You need to be aligned within yourself, and be operating at a level of your best self. In order to do this, you must ground your energy and center your emotions.
Remember that nothing outside of yourself makes you whole.
This means that you could be surrounded by a whole slew of supporters and still be lost in the sauce. Ground yourself by meditating on the daily. Set time aside every day to find your inner peace. Go within, mentally calm every nerve ending and balance every chakra. In your heart space, make sure that your emotional health is aligned. This means that you might have to bring down some feelings of resentment, and balance them with feelings of accountability. Go through every emotional checkpoint in your life, where one emotion reflects the other. By balancing each emotion, you can better handle the responsibility of taking care of yourself.
Take A Break From Social Media
Taking a break from social media is crucial for you to get back into your own head and understand what's happening in your own reality uninfluenced by the superficial happiness of other people. Sometimes we get so caught up in other people's lives on social media, that we either start projecting disdain for our own lives or we start living vicariously through others.
We become voyeurs instead of attracting a new team and building a real tribe in our lives.
There are better ways of making new connections with people that can lead to long-lasting relationships. It is not healthy to be so ingrained with the status of other people's lives, and how supported they seem. We start to lose the foundation of our own experiences, and on a subconscious level, begin wishing we were who we constantly scroll through on Instagram. Learning to disconnect from what is being portrayed by people living their best lives on the internet, helps us get in touch with living our own - regardless of how many followers or supporters we have.
Personally, I've taken a break from my Instagram page. In doing so, I realized just how many people I actually have to connect with outside of my social media. This means that I was not making real life connections. It opened my eyes to how much work I have to do with fostering real genuine friendships that extend past the DMs and comment sections.
Realize That It's Not Always Personal
It's easy when we go through these periods of depending on ourselves, to consciously bash the people that we expect to be there. I can admit to speaking ill of those who I feel just fell off the edge of the map when it came to being a support system or friend to me. I had to stop and realize that though I was emotionally affected by the absence of key players in my life, I had to understand that they are a whole person too. They go through internal chaos and are also on their own soul evolutions. It all hit me that maybe they are not in the best emotional, mental, or energetic space to even be able to be there for me because they can barely be there for themselves.
This realization was a huge reality check for me and it also put my ego in its place. Sometimes it is just the natural law and order of energy and frequency that pulls people out of our spheres. Soul contracts with people in your life can end on a dime, and it's always in divinely orchestrated purpose. If someone in your life just magically disappears, it might be because it was meant to happen. Use this truth to understand that people aren't taken away, they are displaced, which means the universe will put something else that is meant to be there in its place.
It's easy to fall into a negative, downward spiral of thinking, or emotions when it comes to why there is no one in your corner. It's natural to beat yourself up as to why you find yourself in this position. During these moments of weakness, you must remember all of the times that you pulled through solo. You must give yourself credit for the strength that you have built within your own spirit to survive. Instead of going back in time to all of your failures, go back in time to all of your personal successes.
Think about that time you were able to move out of your space on your own because you had no one else there to help.
Think about any time where you needed help and ended up getting whatever had to be done on your own because of your resilience, strength, and determination.
Think about any time you were fearful of something but because you pulled it together, you made it through.
Obviously these are hypothetical situations, but no doubt you can relate this to something you've experienced. Pat yourself on the back for all that you have faced, gone through, and surpassed - all alone.
Self-love and self-care is highly important during these times! Going forward, you must remember to build a stronger backbone in order to face the moments when you must do life alone. There will be times when you don't have the support that you need, and that should not stop you. You have all the willpower you need to forge ahead and when you get to where you're going, you will have higher standards for those trying to jump onto your bandwagon.
Affirm A Brighter Future
Finally, use this time when all you have is yourself to depend on, to set your intentions on gaining closer and stronger relationships.
Like attracts Like.
If you have been living through certain karmic occurrences in your life that have forced you to become stronger, and a better version of yourself, that energy is like a magnet to people who are living the same testimonies. If you are climbing a mountain that someone who belongs in your future is also climbing, you will find them at the top.
Use the law of attraction to draw like-minded, or like-souled people, into your life. Affirm what kind of person that you want as a friend in your life and how they will mirror what you have been through. Visualize and meditate on what a healthy bond looks like between you and someone that has your best interest at heart, and vice versa. Think about how your next closest friend will feel energetically, and how they will be a positive influence in your life.
By keeping all of these points in mind, as you continue to flourish as a powerful individual who is whole all by themselves, you can gain strength in doing life alone - until you don't have to.
How have you pulled through during moments of aloneness in your life? Share your stories with us below!
Featured image by Getty Images
Fontaine Felisha Foxworth is a writer and creative entrepreneur from Brooklyn New York. She is currently on the West Coast working on creating a TV Pilot called "Finding Fontaine", that details the nomadic journey of her life so far. Keep up with her shenanigans @famoustaine on IG.
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Watching Angela “Blac Chyna” White’s transformation in real-time has truly been a sight to see. It wasn’t that long ago that she announced that she was reversing her cosmetic surgeries in an effort to go back to who she was before the world came to know her as Blac Chyna. In previous interviews, she stated that she was dissolving her facial and lip fillers, removing her breast implants, and getting a butt reduction, as well as removing the dimple piercings that enhanced her fame and controversial tattoos.
In a recent Tamron Hall interview, the mother of two said that she has “fully recovered” from the procedures. She is also celebrating one year of sobriety and opened up about being worried about how her new journey would be received by others.
“I’ve been in the entertainment industry for so long, right, and of course, like, you know, coming out, I’m like young, I’m gonna do wild things as we all have,” she said.
“...I feel like by me being vocal and showing everybody you can change your life and things can get better, like through myself, that right there is an accomplishment, and that’s a part of freedom, too.”
But as she started on her journey, many people have shown her grace, which is something she’s grateful for. “And then the fact that people have been showing me grace, it’s like amazing,” she said. “And I feel like when I did it, I just did it. It was more so like spiritual thing and I feel like people see that, and I’ve always been like my authentic self, so what you see is kinda what you get with me, and that’s just kinda what it is.”
Chyna, who recently received an honorary doctorate from Sacramento Theology Seminary and Bible College, has also repaired her relationship with her mom, Tokyo Toni. The social media celebrity surprised her daughter on the Tamron Hall Show. Prior to the sentimental surprise, Chyna dished on the reconciliation and having a better understanding of her mom.
“I must say, some of the things I have to take accountability for because, like my actions. As a mother, you don’t want to see your daughter doing certain things ‘cause it’s like it doesn’t matter what my past was or what we’re going through, I didn’t raise you that way,” she admitted. “So, it’s like, okay, maybe I was a little bit wrong. Maybe I was acting out a little bit. But I feel like as we grow older, I kinda see more, and I understand more.”
Chyna will be starring in season two of Fox's reality competition show Special Forces: World's Toughest Test.
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Feature image by Kevin Winter/Getty Images