To my future children,
You're not real to me yet. In fact, I'm just reaching an age where I've truly and wholly began to think about who you might be in this world.
These thoughts are especially evoked when I'm forced to witness the bigotry and hatred spewed in our world. Most recently, they were prompted by the backlash that two athletes received after footage was released of one teammate and friend was rumored to be consoling the other by holding him closely and soothing him.
Perhaps, that's what society had to tell itself to digest that affection from men or perhaps we simply fail to get all the facts. Who knows? But what I do know is that it was a sweet moment that was turned into a mockery and insult due to the toxic masculinity that's so thick in the air, men can barely see their truth, much less speak on it.
With this in mind, I vow with my every breath to protect you from the judgement and harsh nature of this world. Sadly, all my efforts to shield you from others and, at times, myself (your mother won't stop being flawed in older age) might be thwarted.
So here's what I need you to understand: there will always be someone somewhere with something to say about how you live your life. And if I'm anything like your grandmother, it might be me from time to time.
You're allowed to respectfully point this out, should I ever be the one to hurt you with my judgment. But also know that the only thing that counts, is you. If you know in your heart that you are being and constantly working towards the best version of self, then carry on with your head held high.
There will be people who tell you that as a man or a woman you are fated to proper socialization. That's all a bunch of ... you know what. But I'm in church as I write this, so I'll let you fill in the blank. As hard and as long as we've fought to minimize discrimination of those who look, love, or act differently than what society or the black community has deemed acceptable, I know with every part of my being that it won't end with my generation or the next. Unfortunately, this type of bigotry may never die.
I can't stress enough the importance of loving as openly, honestly, and without limits.
In 2018, men are still criticized and disregarded as soft and gay amongst other things when they show emotion that are not "manly" enough for the rest of the world. But don't be afraid to be any of those things. Be soft, be gay by both definitions, be shy, be kind. BE LOVE and give love. Cry, smile, and allow yourself and others the spectrum of emotions that all human beings are entitled to. For you are any and everything that YOU desire to be, even in a world that claims to know your heart based on dated and toxic standards of masculinity.
Should you be a little girl, open your heart and mind to boyfriends (there will be many frogs before the King) who show their strength through vulnerability, by respecting all women in the way they should their mothers, and in protecting you as fiercely as you will protect him.
I wasn't always so wise and I'm still working on embracing a man (perhaps your father?) who is not the complete heart and soul of toxicity. Don't demand that he or any other man "man up" out of your own socialized ignorance.
Regardless of your gender. Regardless of who you come to be, my child, I believe this is how you find love that loves you back in the way that you deserve.
You may not appreciate this until you most need it, but I do urge you to appreciate my words at some point. Until we meet, I'll be manifesting everything that sets you up to be the person I want you to be. Your own person.
Love always (even in my moments of imprecations),
-Mom
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As we transition from summer to fall, there’s no need to spend too many coins curating a brand new seasonal wardrobe, especially in this economy. Instead of shopping targeted ads, we interviewed fashion-forward influencers to spark our imagination and gather insight on what they’re already wearing leading into the upcoming season. Keep scrolling to get the scoop on essential items these fashion-forward women are looking forward to wearing this fall.
Helecia Williams, Houston
Comfort
Helecia’s style in three words: “Structured, bold, and explorative.”
Helecia’s outfit inspiration: “I am most interested in comfort as a trend. I am truly enjoying the mix of flats with elevated outfits and the incorporation of street-style elements into the looks. I have seen so much juxtaposition that makes the outfits interesting and intriguing. I love the pairing of fitted caps with [suits] and ballet flats. That mashup is impeccable, and we saw some of that peeking through last fall, and now it's taken on a life of its own.
"As a sneaker lover and comfort sneakers, bringing back flats is just a reimagination of past trends with a fresh twist.”
What color(s) is on Helecia’s fall mood board: “Hands down, red! It's such a bold and bossy color. Now, we see it becoming much more accessible in fashion and realize how easy it is to style and incorporate into a look for that extra pop. It also pairs well with so many other shades and tones. Some of my favorite combos are red and burgundy, red and yellow, and red and brown. Even if you aren't fully convinced that it's the color of the season and still have reservations about it, you can go classic and incorporate it in an accessory or makeup like a red lip.”
Are you bringing anything back from your 2023 fall wardrobe? “I will be returning and recycling all of my 2023 fall wardrobe and just styling it differently or giving it new life. Despite my love for trends, I've curated a wardrobe that I love so I will mix the old in with the new. And not to toot my own horn but a lot of my fashion moments are ahead of the times and still very relevant for this upcoming fall. Expect to see tons of texture, juxtaposition, unexpected color combos, and street style.”
How Helecia is accessorizing this season: “I hate to admit it, but the one trend that has me in a chokehold this fall is bold jewelry, particularly in gold. I've realized that accessories can do wonders, and the Schiaparelli era has me shook. I am a ‘Stan’ of Shop Khoi, a Black-owned jewelry brand that creates some of the most amazing, high-quality fashion jewelry. It just sets off any outfit no matter how simple it may be and easily becomes a conversation piece.”
Courtney Blackwell, New York City
Courtney’s style in three words: “Vintage, oversize, and sexy.”
Courtney’s most anticipated fall fashion items: “The fashion item I am anticipating wearing is vintage leather in all colors!”
Courtney's color picks for fall: “Cherry reds, forest greens, and different shades of gray.”
The trend that has Courtney in a chokehold this season: “Skirts! I’ve never been a skirt girly, well mini skirts girly, but I think I’m going to step it up with the minis this fall.”
Shaniqua Jordan, New York City
Timeless
Shaniqua’s personal styling tip for fall: “I hate to admit it, but the one trend that has me in a chokehold this fall is any oversized outerwear piece, especially oversized blazers. And as basic as it may sound, I can't get enough of them. They instantly elevate any look, and they're so versatile, whether I'm going for a polished vibe or something more casual. Plus, they are perfect for layering as the weather cools down.
"I know most people wouldn't typically opt for suede, but if you've been following my style, you know I'm all about my outerwear. I love adding texture to my looks, even if it's subtle, and a good suede jacket does that for me. The soft texture and rich hues of suede add that cherry on top for any fall look. Whether I'm rocking a bomber style in a jewel tone or a tailored trench in a neutral shade, a suede jacket is one piece I'm looking forward to wearing to elevate my fall wardrobe.”
These colors are all over Shaniqua’s fall mood board: “The colors on my fall mood board are rich earth tones like deep browns and olive greens paired with classic neutrals like camel and cream. I'd like to throw in a pop of butter yellow. I know it might seem more spring-like, but I love how it pairs with deep browns, oxblood, and even grays. It's the perfect way to brighten up those cozy, moody fall vibes. I'm also loving pops of bold jewel tones like emerald and burgundy to add a bit of luxe to the season. These shades give that cozy yet elevated feel I'm always aiming for in my fall wardrobe.”
Shaniqua describes her fall wardrobe in three words: “If I describe my fall wardrobe in three words, they would be chic, layered, and timeless. I love combining unique pieces with a classic touch, creating looks that stand out without trying too hard. It's all about finding that perfect balance between staying true to timeless fashion and adding my own signature flair.”
Are you bringing anything back from your 2023 fall wardrobe? "I am definitely an outfit repeater, so not only will I bring back pieces from my 2023 fall wardrobe, but I also have so many oldies but goodies that I’ll be incorporating into my fall 2024 looks. I think that's what really helps convey my personal style; buying pieces I genuinely love and being able to work them into my style season after season. It's all about longevity and staying true to what I love."
Alasia Allen, Los Angeles
Provocative
Alasia describes her style in three words: “Opulent, sleek, provocative.”
The fashion item Alasia anticipates wearing the most this fall: “I’m really into gloves this season. Whether it’s biker style or long, sleek, leather gloves, they add an interesting take to a fall look.”
The fall colors catching Alasia’s eye: “I’m loving navy or a super deep purple this season so I’ll be adding those into my wardrobe. They’re both so sophisticated and a good alternative to black.”
The fall staple Alaisa plans to bring back from her 2023 wardrobe: “Every year, I wear a shearling coat. It’s timeless, it’s warm, it’s my thing. There’s something very elevating about shearlings that have drawn to me year after year, and that’s what makes them my favorite style of outwear.”
The accessory that has Alasia in a chokehold this season: “Boots. I love a good boot as my go-to accessory for the fall/winter season. My favorites are boots that have a little flair to them and an interesting shape.”
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