Issa Rae Talks Newlywed Life, Self-Care & Navigating Friendships In Your 30s
Issa Rae might be revving up for the much-anticipated return of her hit HBO series, Insecure, in the coming weeks. But sis isn't letting work stop her from slaying covers left and right this year. Her latest one? The cover story for SELF. In it, the star talks about current and future projects, being a workaholic, self-care, and enjoying newlywed life.
Issa's work life is absolutely insane. The 36-year-old entertainer has inked an exclusive five-year deal with HBO and WarnerMedia. So while we're in the mist of saying farewell to Insecure, sis has been booked and busy with the release of television projects like the unscripted show, Sweet Life: Los Angeles and the forthcoming Rap Sh*t for HBO Max. And that doesn't even touch the surface of her money moves with her record label, as a part-owner of a coffee shop and natural hair company, or her work with her own production company.
In addition to her professional wins, over the years, it has become increasingly important to Issa to make room in her life for the personal as well.
Earlier this summer, she took a pause from her hectic work schedule to make time to get married. Issa nearly broke the internet with her epic wedding photos of her big day in France where she married partner, Louis Diame. But sis said the pause didn't feel like a true one.
"France was something to look forward to, for sure, but I, again, really, really foolishly worked up until it, ended 'Insecure,' then was obviously editing it, and then went to go shoot another show for a couple weeks, then went to go scout in Miami, just did everything up until that event.
"Then I did festivities in France, and that was still...it wasn't vacation. It was still like you're planning an event. It was fun, it was blissful, and coming back was hard. Coming back knowing that I had to go to work again and I was only out there a week was pretty devastating."
2020 was a year of stillness for many of us; and Issa admitted that she lost some of the lessons she picked up about self-care in the wake of taking on more in her work life. While she likes feeling productive in the present, she can't deny how pleasurable leisure felt during that time.
"I got a lot of stuff done that I've been wanting to do. I do like being productive just for myself and feeling like I get things done for me that are on a deadline because I want to do [them], and I miss that."
She also described how that translates over to her personal life too, and had this to say about navigating friendships at this stage of her life:
"It's really disheartening to realize, 'Oh, we have to really, really make an effort to see one another.' I just reached out to my group chat of friends to be like, 'Can we at least have a standing brunch or dinner once a month?' and everybody was down, and then I was like, 'Oh, shit, I'm going to be out of town. I'm going to be gone.' That's so fucking whack."
And about that question so many newly married folks get almost as soon as they walk down the aisle, Issa says she's not pressed to start a family. To keep it a buck, she's not sure if she wants kids ever. Ultimately, as a Black woman in Hollywood, she feels like there's an expiration date on her time allowed on-screen and on the scene. She is enjoying being a newlywed and living her life on her own terms.
"I'm extremely happy. I like my life, I like this selfishness, and I know that I have a window. I've always felt that way, that women, Black women especially—unless you're Viola Davis or Angela Bassett—you have a window when people are going to want to continue to see you and see what you can do."
"Then there are so many limitations placed upon you, and that does keep me up. I want to do as much as I can while I still can. I know it's not the proper mentality to think that kids will slow you down, but I do feel that way."
Read Issa's full cover story with SELF here.
Featured image by Rich Fury/Getty Images
'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Quinta Brunson Gets Real About Divorce, Boundaries & Becoming
Quinta Brunson is the woman who chooses herself, even when the world is watching. And in her June 30 cover story for Bustle, she gives us a rare glimpse into the soft, centered place she's navigating her life from now. From leading one of television's most beloved series in the last decade to quietly moving through life shifts, the creator of Abbott Elementary is walking through a personal evolution and doing so with intention, grace, and a firm grip on her boundaries.
Back in March, the 35-year-old filed for divorce from Kevin Jay Anik after nearly three years of marriage, citing "irreconcilable differences." The news hit the headlines of news outlets fast, but Quinta hadn't planned to announce their dissolution to the public so quickly.
Quinta Brunson On Divorce, Public Scrutiny & Sacred Boundaries
"I remember seeing people be like, ‘She announced her divorce,’" she told Bustle. “I didn’t announce anything. I think people have this idea that people in the public eye want the public to know their every move. None of us do. I promise you. No one wants [everyone] to know when you buy a house, when you move, when a major change happens in your personal life. It’s just that that’s public record information."
In regards to her private moves becoming tabloid fodder, Quinta continued, "I hated that. I hate all of it."
"I Am An Artist First": Quinta On Cutting Her Hair & Reclaiming Herself
Still, the diminutive phenom holds her crown high in the face of change and is returning to the essence of who she is, especially as an artist. "Cutting my hair reminded me that I am an artist first. I want to feel things. I want to make choices. I want to be a person, and not just stuck in having to be a certain way for business." It's giving sacred rebirth. It's giving self-liberation. It's especially giving main character energy.
And while the headlines keep spinning their narratives, the one that Quinta is focused on is her own. For her, slowing down and nourishing herself in ways that feed her is what matters. "It’s a transitional time. I think it’s true for me and my personal life, and it’s how I feel about myself, my career, and the world," Quinta shared with Bustle. “I feel very serious about focusing on watering my own gardens, taking care of myself and the people around me who I actually interact with day-to-day."
That includes indulging in simple rituals that ground her like "making myself a meal" which has become "really, really important to me."
That spirit of agency doesn't stop at the personal. In her professional world, as the creator, executive producer, and lead actress of the critically-acclaimed Abbott Elementary, Quinta understands the weight her choices carry, both on- and off-screen. She revealed to Bustle, "People used to tell me at the beginning of this that the No. 1 on the call sheet sets the tone, and the producer sets the tone — and I’m both of those roles."
She continued, "I understand now, after doing this for four years, how important it was that I set the tone that I did when we first started."
Quinta doesn't just lead, she understands the importance of curating the energy of any space she enters. Even amid a season of shifts and shedding, her power speaks loudly. Sometimes that power looks like quiet resistance. Sometimes that power is soft leadership.
And sometimes that power looks like cutting your hair and taking back your name in rooms that have forgotten you were an artist long before you were a brand.
Read Quinta's cover story on Bustle here to witness the fullness of Quinta's becoming.
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