Issa Rae Talks Newlywed Life, Self-Care & Navigating Friendships In Your 30s
Issa Rae might be revving up for the much-anticipated return of her hit HBO series, Insecure, in the coming weeks. But sis isn't letting work stop her from slaying covers left and right this year. Her latest one? The cover story for SELF. In it, the star talks about current and future projects, being a workaholic, self-care, and enjoying newlywed life.
Issa's work life is absolutely insane. The 36-year-old entertainer has inked an exclusive five-year deal with HBO and WarnerMedia. So while we're in the mist of saying farewell to Insecure, sis has been booked and busy with the release of television projects like the unscripted show, Sweet Life: Los Angeles and the forthcoming Rap Sh*t for HBO Max. And that doesn't even touch the surface of her money moves with her record label, as a part-owner of a coffee shop and natural hair company, or her work with her own production company.
In addition to her professional wins, over the years, it has become increasingly important to Issa to make room in her life for the personal as well.
Earlier this summer, she took a pause from her hectic work schedule to make time to get married. Issa nearly broke the internet with her epic wedding photos of her big day in France where she married partner, Louis Diame. But sis said the pause didn't feel like a true one.
"France was something to look forward to, for sure, but I, again, really, really foolishly worked up until it, ended 'Insecure,' then was obviously editing it, and then went to go shoot another show for a couple weeks, then went to go scout in Miami, just did everything up until that event.
"Then I did festivities in France, and that was still...it wasn't vacation. It was still like you're planning an event. It was fun, it was blissful, and coming back was hard. Coming back knowing that I had to go to work again and I was only out there a week was pretty devastating."
2020 was a year of stillness for many of us; and Issa admitted that she lost some of the lessons she picked up about self-care in the wake of taking on more in her work life. While she likes feeling productive in the present, she can't deny how pleasurable leisure felt during that time.
"I got a lot of stuff done that I've been wanting to do. I do like being productive just for myself and feeling like I get things done for me that are on a deadline because I want to do [them], and I miss that."
She also described how that translates over to her personal life too, and had this to say about navigating friendships at this stage of her life:
"It's really disheartening to realize, 'Oh, we have to really, really make an effort to see one another.' I just reached out to my group chat of friends to be like, 'Can we at least have a standing brunch or dinner once a month?' and everybody was down, and then I was like, 'Oh, shit, I'm going to be out of town. I'm going to be gone.' That's so fucking whack."
And about that question so many newly married folks get almost as soon as they walk down the aisle, Issa says she's not pressed to start a family. To keep it a buck, she's not sure if she wants kids ever. Ultimately, as a Black woman in Hollywood, she feels like there's an expiration date on her time allowed on-screen and on the scene. She is enjoying being a newlywed and living her life on her own terms.
"I'm extremely happy. I like my life, I like this selfishness, and I know that I have a window. I've always felt that way, that women, Black women especially—unless you're Viola Davis or Angela Bassett—you have a window when people are going to want to continue to see you and see what you can do."
"Then there are so many limitations placed upon you, and that does keep me up. I want to do as much as I can while I still can. I know it's not the proper mentality to think that kids will slow you down, but I do feel that way."
Read Issa's full cover story withSELF here.
Featured image by Rich Fury/Getty Images
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Crystal Renay Is Prioritizing Healing, Her Kids, And Her Coins Amid Divorce
Crystal Renay is reclaiming her time and her identity after dealing with heartbreak. The model was married to Ne-Yo for seven years and they share three young children together. However, after a cheating scandal that resulted in a baby outside of their relationship, Crystal decided to end her marriage to the “So Sick” singer. Now, she is focusing on her bag and her kids. She is co-owner of Johnny’s Chicken and Waffles, launching a lip kit line, and is back on TV starring in the new WE TV reality series Bold & Bougie.
But it wasn’t an easy road, especially with reality TV. From the beginning, Crystal and her castmates bumped heads due to misconceptions and alliances with her ex-husband’s former partner, Monyetta Shaw. However, the mother of three exclusively tells xoNecole that she doesn’t regret her decision to join the show.
Crystal Renay
Photo courtesy
“Honestly, being in that space, we had a– you know, when you're first getting to know people, sometimes it can be smooth, and sometimes it can be rocky,” she says. “In our case, it was a little bit rocky and just getting to know each other, and I like to call it growing pains. And I felt like we had a couple of moments, but all in all, like the experience was really good for me, and I would do it over again.”
Crystal describes herself as “career-oriented” and says she is in her selfish season because she is now prioritizing herself first. But she admits that she is still healing from her divorce. The reality TV star shares some tips for others who may be going through the same thing.
“I would definitely say pray, pray as much as you can. Try to take your emotions out of your reactions to things because it’s always going to be something that you don't like in the situation,” she says. “But we can't move off of emotion because 10 times out of 10, a few months later, you're not going to feel like that. So, I'm a firm believer in not doing things that I will regret later. So I would just say be patient with yourself and stay positive.”
While there may be an opportunity to find love again, that’s not Crystal’s focus at the moment. She is in the rebuilding phase of her life, emphasizing the importance of self-care, personal growth, and finding her own happiness. She has had her share of challenges, including dealing with negative emotions and the public's perception of her, but her priorities involve spending quality time with her children and running lucrative businesses.
“I would definitely say pray, pray as much as you can. Try to take your emotions out of your reactions to things because it’s always going to be something that you don't like in the situation.”
“With my kids, I'm very hands-on. I’m team mother with soccer kids, and they don't really make no goals because they like five years old, but I'm there cheering them on every week,” she jokes. “I want to travel, especially this summer, with my kids and take them somewhere internationally because they're at the age where they can handle a long flight. So, me just spending more time and more new experiences with my kids is my main focus with them and showing them all the love that I could possibly give them.”
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Photo courtesy of Crystal Renay