

I don’t know about y’all, but I personally think that one of the best ways to ring in the new year is by staying in and having a really romantic evening with your boo thang. This New Year’s Eve, though, I want those who are planning to do just that to take things up a few notches because, if what they say about how you start the year is how you will end the next one is true, it’s important that things go off with a blast and bang in the very best ways possible.
To help you out, here are 15 things that you can do in order to pull off an uber-romantic and pretty sexy night at home. One that will not make you regret staying in for. Not even a lil’ bit.
15 Ways To Create An Unforgettable New Year's Eve At Home With Your Partner
1. Decorate the House (or At Least Your Bedroom) with Carnations
I know that some people consider carnations to be nothing more than “filler flowers.” However, they are cool in my book 1) because they are super affordable and 2) as it relates to this article, they are one of January’s signature flowers. So, if romance to you includes flowers, stop by your local florist or grocery store and get some of these.
Whether it’s for a centerpiece on your kitchen table or you want to put a ton of stems around your bed, it’s a sweet way to set the “Happy New Year, babe” mood.
2. Get Your Own Fireworks (Well, Kinda)
It’s probably been a decade since I’ve gone out to watch the guitar drop (which is what happens in Nashville) and even longer since I’ve given the 4th of July any kind of thought. Still, if there’s one thing I like about those types of occasions, it’s fireworks. No, you don’t need to be trying to light any up in your home but a cool workaround is to get some dessert sparklers (like the ones here) because they’re cute and super festive. Another option is bottle service sparklers that you can put into your wine or champagne bottles. If that’s more in your lane, you can cop one of those here.
3. Make Some Love-Themed Fortune Cookies
I don’t know what it is with me and fortune cookies, but I definitely look for them whenever I order Chinese food. Anyway, did you know that they are super easy to make? All you need is flour, egg whites, sugar, and butter. And how sweet would it be for you and yours to open up a few on New Year’s Eve, only to see handwritten fortunes from the both of you? A recipe for the cookies is here. Oh, and if you’d prefer a company to customize some fortunes for you, Etsy has some that will for a really good price. One option is here.
4. Order a New Year’s Eve Meal (Ahead of Time)
If cooking is a way of expressing love for you or your partner, hey, have at it. Personally, because there really is no telling when you’ll get to take time off again, I think the less work (and clean up) that you have to do, the better. So, whether it’s 12/30 or during the day on 12/31, order a meal to pick up or, even better, to be delivered on New Year's Eve. Then all you’ll have to do is heat it up and serve. Perfect.
5. Create an “Our Love Story” Playlist
Before getting into this one, I just want to send a shout-out to Jewel Ham. She’s a Black woman who claims that while she was interning for Spotify, it was her recommendations that perfected their annual Wrapped List even though she was not credited for it (side-eye). That being side (again, side-eye), New Year’s Eve wouldn’t be all of what it should be without some great music playing. At some point, customize a playlist that tells the story of your love, ignites memories of some great dates the two of you shared, gets you in the mood for the “big finale” or…all of the above. Whether it’s background music or something to dance to, it will definitely keep you and yours in a really good mood.
6. Dress All the Way Up. Or Down.
Just because you’re going to be in this New Year’s Eve, that doesn’t mean that you need to ring in the new calendar year in sweats or onesie PJs (c’mon now). Since this is all about romance, take things up a few dozen notches by dressing to the nines. I mean, going all out in an evening gown while your man is in a tux or suit. If you light some candles or even hang a disco ball from the ceiling somewhere (Party City typically carries them), it can feel like you’re on an official date (because you are). Or, you can get totally naked. Doing the most or nothing are both really sexy in my book.
7. Bury a Time Capsule
Something else that I personally think is super romantic is when couples come up with things to put into their own time capsule and then bury it, only to dig it back up several years later, whether it’s on another New Year’s Eve or a milestone anniversary.
As far as what “should” go in them, it can be memorabilia, things that symbolize what 2021 was like for you and your relationship, love letters that you will keep private until you both open the capsule years up the road — the options are totally up to you. Like I said, it’s pretty romantic and it’s a really affordable thing to do.
8. Feed Each Other Grapes
Although eating black-eyed peas is a pretty popular tradition (especially in the South), the fact that Confederate soldiers relied on them so much, that also gets some side-eye from me. Anyway, what I can fully get behind is a tradition (and a bit of a superstition) in Spain that consists of eating 12 grapes, at midnight, on New Year’s Eve. Since they symbolize good luck and prosperity and since they’re also an aphrodisiac that represents romance and fertility…why the heck not?
9. Toast with Rossinis, Champagne Margaritas or Pomegranate Sparklers
New Year’s Eve wouldn’t be New Year’s Eve without some sort of turn-up. This year, instead of going the predictable plain champagne route, go a little off-script. Some drinks that are pretty popular for ringing in the new year include Rossini's (prosecco and strawberries), champagne margaritas (champagne, honey, lime, and tequila), or pomegranate sparklers (a recipe with alcohol is here; a mocktail is here). And since tipsy sex can make for the kind that is more intense, it definitely should go on the to-do list.
10. Count Down with Some Number Lollipops
Yes, yes. In the ever so wise words of Lil’ Kim, how many licks does it take to get to the…(LOL)? A sweet and sexy way to countdown to midnight is to get some lollipops that have 1-10 on them. Once you have them in hand — lick, flirt, and seduce away, however you see fit. Some cute ones that I found were on an Etsy site. You can check them out here.
11. Play “Rewind and Fast Forward”
A wise person once said that if you want to get a gauge of what your future will look like, pay attention to what your past has been like. That said, something that can make you feel more emotionally connected to your partner (which always makes sex so much more satisfying) is to play a couple of rounds of what I call “Rewind and Fast Forward.” Talk about the best moments of 2021, along with what the two of you would like to be able to say about your relationship, come this time next year. Vibing in this way can make you both feel seen and heard — and there is always something that is sexy and romantic about that.
12. Declare a Strictly Sex-Related Resolution
I once read that only eight percent of people actually make a resolution and then keep it all year long. That’s a part of the reason why I wrote “Forget New Year's Resolutions, Try This Instead.” last year for the site. Yet if you are someone who is big on making resolutions or you want 2022 to be the best year ever as it relates to your sex life, check out “10 Sex Resolutions Every Married Couple Should Make” and then ponder what kind of sex resolution you and your partner would like to make in preparation for the 12 months that lie ahead. The kind of sex a couple has can say a lot about their relationship. Only people with sucky sex lives tend to believe otherwise.
13. Pop a Confetti-Filled Balloon at Midnight
I mean, you can watch the ball drop on television if you want or you can put your own spin on it from the comfort and convenience of your own home. One way to do this is to get a balloon that is full of confetti and then, at the stroke of 12, you pop it so that all of the confetti comes out.
Party City and Walmart are two stores that should have these. Just make sure to cop one sooner than later; they tend to sell out fast around this time of the year.
14. Have a Sexual Celebration with Some (Edible) Body Glitter
Whether you’re like, “Girl, don’t nobody feel like cleaning up all of that mess later” or you are someone who likes as much sparkle as possible, don’t forget to cop some edible body glitter (because if all goes well, there won’t be a lot to clean up, feel me?). Because once the stroke of midnight hits, there is some other, umm, stroking that needs to be done. Speaking of midnight sex, check out “Why Couples Should Engage In ‘Midnight Sex’ More Often” for a bit more motivation to stay up later.
As far as where you can get your hands on some edible body glitter, The Sugar Art is a site that carries all kinds of colors and versions of it. If you want some additional body glitter into the mix, just because, you can get that here.
15. Remove All Clocks
While it’s important to focus on the clock on New Year’s Eve in order to get to midnight, once that time passes, who cares about watches, smartphones, and anything else that displays the time? Hopefully, you’re off on New Year’s Day, so spend the night and following morning — sleeping and sexing (check out “Here’s How To Make Morning Sex...Sexier”)…sexing and sleeping. I can’t think of a finer way to start off 2022. Can you?
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by xoNecole/YouTube
You Don’t Have To Choose: How Black Women Can Care For Others Without Self-Sacrifice
One of the primary instructions we receive before a flight takes off is to prioritize putting on your life vest first if there’s an emergency, even before assisting others. It’s funny how this rule rarely translates to the daily routine of women.
As women we are taught, directly and indirectly, to put others first. Whether it’s our romantic partners, kids, parents, friends, or even our jobs. Mental health survivor and founder of Sista Afya Community Care, Camesha Jones-Brandon is challenging that narrative by using her platform to advocate for Black women and their right to self-care.
Camesha created the organization after her struggles with mental health and the lack of community she experienced. The Chicago native explains how she created Sista Afya to be rooted in “culturally grounded care.”
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“So at my organization, Sista Afya Community Care, we focus on providing mental health care through a cultural and gender lens,” she tells xoNecole. “So when we think about the term intersectionality, coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, we think about the multiple identities that lead to certain experiences and outcomes as it relates to Black women.
“So in the context of culturally grounded care, being aware of the cultural history, the cultural values, and then also the current issues that impact mental health outcomes.”
Words like “strong” and “independent” have long been associated with Black women for some time and many of us have begun to embrace the soft life and are using rest as a form of resistance. However, some of us still struggle with putting ourselves first and overall shedding the tainted image of the “strong, Black woman” that had been forced on us.
Camesha shares that while there’s more and more communities being created around empowerment and shared interests like running, she still questions, “are Black women really comfortable with being vulnerable about sharing their experiences?”
Being vulnerable with ourselves and others play an important role in healing the instinctive nature of always being “on” for everyone. “I'm currently facilitating a group on high functioning depression, and yesterday, we talked about how when Black women may be struggling or have shared their concerns with other people. They may be minimized, or they're told to just be strong, or it's not so bad, or I went through something worse back in Jim Crow era, so you should be thankful,” she explains.
“So I think there's a challenge with Black women being able to be honest, to be vulnerable and to receive the support that they need in the same capacity as how much they give support to other people. So that is probably a very common theme. I think we've made a lot of progress when we talk about the superwoman syndrome, the mammy stereotype, the working hard stereotype, the nurturing stereotype. I think we're beginning to unpack those things, but I still see that we have definitely a long way to go in that area.”
I think there's a challenge with Black women being able to be honest, to be vulnerable and to receive the support that they need in the same capacity as how much they give support to other people.
Roman Samborskyi/ Shutterstock
While we’re unpacking those things, we know that we’re still women at the end of the day. So as we continue to serve in various roles like mothers, daughters, sisters, and caretakers, we have to make caring for ourselves a priority. Camesha reveals four ways we can still care for others without abandoning ourselves.
Trust
First things first, trust. Camesha explains, “Some of the burdens that Black women have can be linked to not feeling like you can trust people to carry the load with you.
“It's hard because people experience trauma or being let down or different experiences, but one of the things that I found personally is the more that I'm able to practice trust, the more I'm able to get my needs met. Then, to also show up as my best to care for other Black women.”
Know Your Limitations
Another thing Camesha highlighted is Black women knowing their limitations. “The other thing that I would like to bring up in terms of a way to care for yourself is to really know your limitations, or know how much you can give and what you need to receive,” she says.
“So often, what I see with Black women is giving, giving, giving, giving, giving to the point that you're not feeling well, and then not receiving what you need in return to be able to feel well and whole individually. So I really think it's important to know your limitations and know your capacity and to identify what it is that you need to be well.”
Don’t Take On A Lot Of Responsibilities
Next on the list is not taking on so many responsibilities, sharing herself as an example. “The other thing is taking on too much responsibility, especially in a time of vulnerability.
“One thing that I personally struggled with was being so passionate about community mental health for Black women, and saying yes to everything and taking on so much responsibility,” she reveals. “That affected me to do well in serving Black women and then also impacting my own well being.”
Practice Self-Care
Lastly, she notes the importance of practicing self-care. “The last thing is really practicing regular self care, regular community care, so that it's embedded into your daily life. So for me, having prepared meals, going to the gym, getting eight hours of sleep, spending time with friends and family, all of those things are part of my self care that keep me at my best,” she explains.
“Then community care, leaning into social networks or social groups, or spending time with other interests or hobbies. That's a part of my community care that keeps me going, so that I can take care of my needs, but also to be able to show up best in care for others.”
Find out more about Camesha and Sista Afya Community Care at communitycare.sistaafya.com.
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