How To Make New Year's Eve REALLY ROMANTIC At Home
I don’t know about y’all, but I personally think that one of the best ways to ring in the new year is by staying in and having a really romantic evening with your boo thang. This New Year’s Eve, though, I want those who are planning to do just that to take things up a few notches because, if what they say about how you start the year is how you will end the next one is true, it’s important that things go off with a blast and bang in the very best ways possible.
To help you out, here are 15 things that you can do in order to pull off an uber romantic and pretty sexy night at home. One that will not make you regret staying in for. Not even a lil’ bit.
1. Decorate the House (or At Least Your Bedroom) with Carnations
I know that some people consider carnations to be nothing more than “filler flowers.” However, they are cool in my book 1) because they are super affordable and 2) as it relates to this article, they are one of January’s signature flowers. So, if romance to you includes flowers, stop by your local florist or grocery store and get some of these.
Whether it’s for a centerpiece on your kitchen table or you want to put a ton of stems around your bed, it’s a sweet way to set the “Happy New Year, babe” mood.
2. Get Your Own Fireworks (Well, Kinda)
It’s probably been a decade since I’ve gone out to watch the guitar drop (which is what happens in Nashville) and even longer since I’ve given the 4th of July any kind of thought. Still, if there’s one thing I like about those types of occasions, it’s fireworks. No, you don’t need to be trying to light any up in your home but a cool workaround is to get some dessert sparklers (like the ones here) because they’re cute and super festive. Another option is bottle service sparklers that you can put into your wine or champagne bottles. If that’s more in your lane, you can cop one of those here.
3. Make Some Love-Themed Fortune Cookies
I don’t know what it is with me and fortune cookies, but I definitely look for them whenever I order Chinese food. Anyway, did you know that they are super easy to make? All you need is flour, egg whites, sugar, and butter. And how sweet would it be for you and yours to open up a few on New Year’s Eve, only to see handwritten fortunes from the both of you? A recipe for the cookies is here. Oh, and if you’d prefer a company to customize some fortunes for you, Etsy has some that will for a really good price. One option is here.
4. Order a New Year’s Eve Meal (Ahead of Time)
If cooking is a way of expressing love for you or your partner, hey, have at it. Personally, because there really is no telling when you’ll get to take time off again, I think the less work (and clean up) that you have to do, the better. So, whether it’s 12/30 or during the day on 12/31, order a meal to pick up or, even better, to be delivered on New Year's Eve. Then all you’ll have to do is heat it up and serve. Perfect.
5. Create an “Our Love Story” Playlist
Before getting into this one, I just want to send a shout-out to Jewel Ham. She’s a Black woman who claims that while she was interning for Spotify, it was her recommendations that perfected their annual Wrapped List even though she was not credited for it (side-eye). That being side (again, side-eye), New Year’s Eve wouldn’t be all of what it should be without some great music playing. At some point, customize a playlist that tells the story of your love, ignites memories of some great dates the two of you shared, gets you in the mood for the “big finale” or…all of the above. Whether it’s background music or something to dance to, it will definitely keep you and yours in a really good mood.
6. Dress All the Way Up. Or Down.
Just because you’re going to be in this New Year’s Eve, that doesn’t mean that you need to ring in the new calendar year in sweats or onesie PJs (c’mon now). Since this is all about romance, take things up a few dozen notches by dressing to the nines. I mean, going all out in an evening gown while your man is in a tux or suit. If you light some candles or even hang a disco ball from the ceiling somewhere (Party City typically carries them), it can feel like you’re on an official date (because you are). Or, you can get totally naked. Doing the most or nothing are both really sexy in my book.
7. Bury a Time Capsule
Something else that I personally think is super romantic is when couples come up with things to put into their own time capsule and then bury it, only to dig it back up several years later, whether it’s on another New Year’s Eve or a milestone anniversary.
As far as what “should” go in them, it can be memorabilia, things that symbolize what 2021 was like for you and your relationship, love letters that you will keep private until you both open the capsule years up the road — the options are totally up to you. Like I said, it’s pretty romantic and it’s a really affordable thing to do.
8. Feed Each Other Grapes
Although eating black-eyed peas is a pretty popular tradition (especially in the South), the fact that Confederate soldiers relied on them so much, that also gets some side-eye from me. Anyway, what I can fully get behind is a tradition (and a bit of a superstition) in Spain that consists of eating 12 grapes, at midnight, on New Year’s Eve. Since they symbolize good luck and prosperity and since they’re also an aphrodisiac that represents romance and fertility…why the heck not?
9. Toast with Rossinis, Champagne Margaritas or Pomegranate Sparklers
New Year’s Eve wouldn’t be New Year’s Eve without some sort of turn-up. This year, instead of going the predictable plain champagne route, go a little off-script. Some drinks that are pretty popular for ringing in the new year include Rossini's (prosecco and strawberries), champagne margaritas (champagne, honey, lime, and tequila), or pomegranate sparklers (a recipe with alcohol is here; a mocktail is here). And since tipsy sex can make for the kind that is more intense, it definitely should go on the to-do list.
10. Count Down with Some Number Lollipops
Yes, yes. In the ever so wise words of Lil’ Kim, how many licks does it take to get to the…(LOL)? A sweet and sexy way to countdown to midnight is to get some lollipops that have 1-10 on them. Once you have them in hand — lick, flirt, and seduce away, however you see fit. Some cute ones that I found were on an Etsy site. You can check them out here.
11. Play “Rewind and Fast Forward”
A wise person once said that if you want to get a gauge of what your future will look like, pay attention to what your past has been like. That said, something that can make you feel more emotionally connected to your partner (which always makes sex so much more satisfying) is to play a couple of rounds of what I call “Rewind and Fast Forward.” Talk about the best moments of 2021, along with what the two of you would like to be able to say about your relationship, come this time next year. Vibing in this way can make you both feel seen and heard — and there is always something that is sexy and romantic about that.
12. Declare a Strictly Sex-Related Resolution
I once read that only eight percent of people actually make a resolution and then keep it all year long. That’s a part of the reason why I wrote “Forget New Year's Resolutions, Try This Instead.” last year for the site. Yet if you are someone who is big on making resolutions or you want 2022 to be the best year ever as it relates to your sex life, check out “10 Sex Resolutions Every Married Couple Should Make” and then ponder what kind of sex resolution you and your partner would like to make in preparation for the 12 months that lie ahead. The kind of sex a couple has can say a lot about their relationship. Only people with sucky sex lives tend to believe otherwise.
13. Pop a Confetti-Filled Balloon at Midnight
I mean, you can watch the ball drop on television if you want or you can put your own spin on it from the comfort and convenience of your own home. One way to do this is to get a balloon that is full of confetti and then, at the stroke of 12, you pop it so that all of the confetti comes out.
Party City and Walmart are two stores that should have these. Just make sure to cop one sooner than later; they tend to sell out fast around this time of the year.
14. Have a Sexual Celebration with Some (Edible) Body Glitter
Whether you’re like, “Girl, don’t nobody feel like cleaning up all of that mess later” or you are someone who likes as much sparkle as possible, don’t forget to cop some edible body glitter (because if all goes well, there won’t be a lot to clean up, feel me?). Because once the stroke of midnight hits, there is some other, umm, stroking that needs to be done. Speaking of midnight sex, check out “Why Couples Should Engage In ‘Midnight Sex’ More Often” for a bit more motivation to stay up later.
As far as where you can get your hands on some edible body glitter, The Sugar Art is a site that carries all kinds of colors and versions of it. If you want some additional body glitter into the mix, just because, you can get that here.
15. Remove All Clocks
While it’s important to focus on the clock on New Year’s Eve in order to get to midnight, once that time passes, who cares about watches, smartphones, and anything else that displays the time? Hopefully, you’re off on New Year’s Day, so spend the night and following morning — sleeping and sexing (check out “Here’s How To Make Morning Sex...Sexier”)…sexing and sleeping. I can’t think of a finer way to start off 2022. Can you?
Featured image by Getty Images
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to 75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned in one of the articles that I read). And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which is the first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/or oral sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I once read a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay, so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
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Featured image by Juan Moyano/Getty Images