In xoNecole's Our First Year series, we take an in-depth look at love and relationships between couples with an emphasis on what their first year of marriage was like.
Love is beautiful, and if you believe otherwise, then you may just haven't found the right person yet. What I mean by beautiful is that love is a journey that is comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time. I am not saying that love doesn't come with its bumpy times because that would be a lie. What I am saying is that when it comes to love, sharing those moments with someone makes the ride called life all the more worth it. Whether it's going on trips, doing adventurous activities, or even relaxing together in the park, those moments are what helps keep the love couples share alive. That is exactly how DJ QuickSilva and Ashley Silva approach their love.
They have been married for 12 years, and they still make sure they have fun and do things together like they did when they met almost 20 years ago. Quick is a DJ and radio host from east Baltimore who is best known on Washington, D.C.'s The Russ Parr Morning Show. He is also the host of The QuickSilva Show, which can be heard weekdays 3 to 7 p.m. EST on both 92.3 FM in Baltimore and 93.9 FM in DC. Outside of DJing, he's the owner of Club Downtown Bmore and has opened a DJ school called The Quick and Eazy DJ Academy, with the goal of providing a curriculum that teaches a wide range of skills necessary to be a successful DJ.
While Quick has become very successful and is still reaching new heights, he was not expecting to find that support system and his partner in "fun" in the love of his life, Ashley Silva.
Courtesy of DJ QuickSilva
Once they got married, Quick and Ashley Silva, creator of the lifestyle brand and podcast @funtimemoms, made sure that they kept dating each other. "I think we lead by example. We really try to show our kids what a healthy marriage should look like. We hope that through our actions and how we live our lives, we inspire our children. We hope that through us, our children see that marriage can work if you allow it to work."
How We Met
Ashley: We met at a nightclub called Hammerjacks. One of my neighbors was the opening DJ and I was driving him to the club that night. I saw Quick there and I thought he was cute. The rest was history at that point.
Quick: So initially in 2002, Ashley messaged me on BlackPlanet.com. She introduced herself and was telling me about a DJ she was friends with. From there, we met in person at the nightclub a week later.
Ashley: We didn't really call ourselves being in a relationship until four years after we met. I used to call it a 'friendlationship'. But I think it started being called a situationship later on. One day, I stayed over at Quick's place and I literally just never went home.
Favorite Things
Ashley: I love how dedicated Quick is to everything he works toward. Whether it is for work or for our family, I know that it's going to get done. That really motivates me because there are times where I am not as motivated, but when I look at him, I tell myself, if he can do it, then I can do it too.
Quick: It's hard to narrow it down to one thing. She is the most thoughtful person I have ever met. When I say thoughtful, I mean she goes above and beyond. It could be friends, family, or any person that she comes across. For her, it is really about making other people feel special. She does an amazing job of that.
The Big Day
Quick: We had our wedding in Jamaica and I remember it rained a lot that day. The wedding was also two hours late from starting. But my favorite memory of that day was when I first saw her. Ashley came around the corner and then Brian McKnight's "Never Felt This Way" started playing. Everybody in the room started crying. It was an amazing and magical thing.
Ashley: I believe there's a saying, "If things go bad, the better the marriage." Literally that morning, I woke up with three mosquito bites and I'm slightly allergic. With the rain, my hair was messed up and we had to move the wedding indoors. But the reception was so much fun. It was really the best time.
The One
Ashley: I don't want to say it was love at first sight, but it kind of was. I remember telling Quick years before (when we were in our situationship) that one day he is going to want to marry me. I just loved everything about him. To me, he was the perfect guy.
Quick: There was definitely a moment for me. Back in 2002, Ashley was there for me during one of the lowest points of my life. During that time, when I lost everything, I would ask her, "Why are you still here?" Her response was that she liked being around me. I knew at that moment that she was the one, but honestly, I knew I wasn't ready.
"Back in 2002, Ashley was there for me during one of the lowest points of my life. During that time, when I lost everything, I would ask her, 'Why are you still here?' I knew at that moment that she was the one, but honestly, I knew I wasn't ready."
Biggest Fears
Quick: My biggest fear before marriage was not being able to provide for and protect my family. A lot of people get married because of love, but I wanted to make sure that I was financially and mentally ready before we took that step. What helped me overcome that fear was reminding myself that Ashley was there for me when I had nothing. Because she was there for me, it let me know that she is not with me for the money.
Ashley: I really never saw examples of long-lasting relationships growing up. Even if they were in a long-lasting marriage, the couple hated each other. That is not something that I wanted in my marriage. I wanted to have a friendship, too. For our children, I want them to see that their parents love each other and like each other. I think they are able to see that even now.
Early Challenges
Ashley: The beginning of our marriage was around the time social media became popular. With social media, people have been really mean to me. There were people who said the worst things to me, and I was genuinely shocked about where this hatred was coming from. It really bothered me and it showed me how there are so many people truly unhappy in their own lives.
Quick: We live in a time where most people are pretty unhappy. No one wants to see success in careers or love with other people because that is something that they want. If there is one small thing that someone can nitpick at, that is what they focus on. That is what gets on blogs. It just shows that positivity is not what people buy into. It is the negativity that sells.
Self-Care Within Marriage
Ashley: I am a huge advocate for mental health and wellness. Self-care is a part of my everyday routine. I like to meditate with my daughter, and I like to take hot baths. Self-care can look different in different marriages. For Quick and I, we enjoy spending time together, but we also enjoy our own 'me time.' Having your own identity within your marriage is so important. For example, it can get hard being able to spend time with your girlfriends after you get married. Three months can turn into six months and then you're wondering where the time goes. So my other form of self-care is maintaining those relationships outside of my marriage. Everyone needs that.
Quick: Iwork so much. I literally party for a living and I am around people 24/7. There have been days when I have worked myself into exhaustion, so when I am not working, I do not want to do anything. I enjoy watching an old movie, smoking a cigar, and just relaxing. If I could watch a movie, smoke a cigar, and get a massage every day, life would be amazing! My form of self-care is honestly doing nothing.
"Self-care can look different in different marriages. For Quick and I, we enjoy spending time together, but we also enjoy our own 'me time.' Having your own identity within your marriage is so important."
Courtesy of DJ QuickSilva
Love Lessons
Quick: One thing that Ashley mentioned in another interview really resonated with me. She said, "In marriage, you will always love each other. Will there be moments when you fall out of love? Yes. But what helps with keeping the marriage going is that we don't fall out of love at the same time." So those moments when we get on each other's nerves, it is always one of us that still cares to bring us back to love.
Ashley: A lot of people talk about communication, but for me, I think comprehension is more important than just communicating. If someone is telling you something and it is going in one ear and out the other, it doesn't mean anything. To understand where your partner is coming from is key.
Common Goals
Ashley: I think a goal for us is that in 20 more years, we still like each other. We try to do things together that we both will enjoy. Keeping the fun is a huge part in keeping the marriage alive. A big mistake that a lot of married couples do, is that they forget who they were before they got married. So it's important to do things that remind you why you got together in the first place—to be reminded, what made you fall in love.
Quick: I think it is important for people to see that just because you're married, doesn't mean you can't do the fun things you were doing before you were married. Yes, some things may slow down and change. But the Silvas like to turn up!!
"I think a goal for us is that in 20 more years, we still like each other. We try to do things together that we both will enjoy. Keeping the fun is a huge part in keeping the marriage alive."
Best Advice
Ashley: Keeping that balance of being a couple outside of being parents is essential. I remember Guiliana Rancic (works for E! News) said that her marriage comes first and her children come second. A lot of people were upset that she said that. But when I read more about what she was saying, I understood why. If I spend all my time with my children and my marriage is failing, I don't have a marriage to go back to.
Quick: Everything does not work for everybody. What works for us, may not work for the next couple. I think the main important thing in a marriage is to agree on what works for you two. It's not easy to be married to someone like me in this industry, but once you figure out what works, go with that. Nobody can teach you what works in your marriage better than you.
To learn more about DJ QuickSilva and Ashley, follow them on Instagram @djquicksilva and @ashleybrittany.
Featured image courtesy of DJ QuickSilva
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Your May 2025: A Monthly Overview
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Article continues after the jump.
We Are/Getty ImagesMay 2025 Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Keep reading for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what May has in store for you.
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThe impact from April is finally behind you, and you get to move forward this month, Aries. After a month of retrogrades and Eclipses, you are starting to see the progress of what you have been working towards financially this year. The Sun is in your 2nd house of abundance, self-confidence, and values this month, and you are putting your dreams here first.
With Venus also in Aries for the entire month of May, you are feeling the support within and without this month, and this is a beautiful month unfolding.
On May 24, Saturn enters your sign, beginning its transit in Aries, which will last for the next few years. Saturn is the master of tough love, and you are going to be learning a lot about yourself during his time and going through a growth spurt. The New Moon of May is at the end of the month on May 26 and will be giving you the answers and clarity you have been looking for, highlighting open communication in your life. Overall, this is your month of fewer obstacles and more progress.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTaurus Season is officially underway, and you are the main character right now, Taurus. Remember that. This month is about trusting your intuition and the timing of things, and knowing that things are working in your favor. With Venus, your ruling planet, in your 12th house for the month, you are seeking a lot of closure and culmination right now and are healing what was. Mercury enters your sign from May 10 until May 25, and it’s all about the perspectives you are gaining right now.
Don’t be afraid to ask the important questions and get down to the bottom of things that have been worrying you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 7th house of partnership, and you are closing the door on what has not been working for you in love. You are seeing the clarity of what you need within your emotional world and how you want to navigate the changes you have been through here now.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a new beginning for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy and vitality with you this month, and you are ready to accomplish some personal goals and intentions of yours. For most of the month, the Sun is in your house of closure and healing, and you are finding yourself rejuvenated from the transformations you have been through. Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and with the Sun in your sign, nothing is holding you back from shining and living in your truth right now.
On May 25, Mercury enters Gemini until June 8, and Mercury loves being in your sign, as this is your planetary ruler.
Mercury in Gemini is forward-thinking, quick, and intelligent. You are coming up with solutions to previous challenges or obstacles, and overcoming something that has felt restrictive mentally. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 26, and this New Moon is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest your dreams. Remember you are worthy of what you are setting out to accomplish this month, Gemini.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCancer, this month requires you to slow down, take care of your health, and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There is a chance you could be overthinking more than usual this month, and you are being reminded that there is only so much that is in your control, and to give yourself some more grace. The Full Moon in Scorpio on May 12 will help you gain a little more clarity of the heart and is going to be a time of feeling the love and appreciation in your life.
Saturn enters your 10th house of career on May 24, remaining here over the next few years, and you are getting an opportunity to grow and discover where you may have been limiting yourself professionally, socially, or within your aspirations in life. This time is all about reminding yourself that you deserve recognition for the work you do, but that you must also be the one believing in yourself as well. On May 12, there is a New Moon in your house of emotional healing, and you are seeing the gifts of alone time, safe spaces, and tending to your creative inklings at the end of the month.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is an opportunity for a new beginning in love and progress within your emotional world, Leo. You are learning to trust your intuition more, and you are putting more of your energy into your heart’s desires. With the Sun in your 10th house for most of the month, you are shining in your truth and remaining confident in your goals in life.
Venus is in your house of adventure for the entire month, and this is a good time for experiencing romance while traveling or getting out of your comfort zone a little.
Saturn makes a significant move from Pisces into Aries at the end of the month and enters your 9th house. With Saturn here, you will be learning more about what mental growth and clarity mean to you, and this is a good time to dedicate yourself to higher education, traveling, gaining a new perspective, and honoring your integrity and values. The New Moon of the month is on May 26, creating magic within your friendships and community.
You are leaving this month with hope in your heart and new plans for the future.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a month of abundance and fruition for you, Virgo. Your dreams and intentions are coming to fruition, and you are owning that which you have created for yourself. With Venus in Aries, this is a good time for seeing support in your life financially, dedicating yourself to your commitments and responsibilities, and seeing the gifts in that. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this is an intuitive time for you, giving you the strength needed to close the chapter on what you don’t resonate with anymore.
On May 24, Saturn enters your house of shared finances, rebirth, intimacy, and resources, and over the next few years, you will be learning the importance of connecting with people who truly have your best interest at heart, and not committing to what feels unstable. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your house of career, and this is a good time to manifest and set your intentions for where you want to see professional growth in your life.
Overall, May is about embracing your freedom while honoring the people and connections that help you grow and make you feel more secure in life.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of feeling empowered and ready to take on anything that comes your way, Libra. You are inspired by the progress you are making in your life right now, and with Venus in your 7th house of love, you are being well-received. This is a month of finding your balance between your path and the growth of your relationships, and there is a sense of support, harmony, and love in your life in May.
You are owning your authenticity and living in your truth fully, and this energy is magnetic.
However, Saturn also enters your 7th house of love this month, where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn empowers and helps you grow, but you can also feel a little more challenged within your relationships during this time. The more you can own your wants and needs, the more you can find vulnerability and support within your relationships. On May 26, a New Moon in a fellow air sign occurs and happens in your 9th house, creating a chance at a new adventure and an opportunity to discover some new inspiration.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is about believing in the impossible, Scorpio. It’s time to take a leap of faith in yourself and to remember your power. You are seeking a new beginning in your life, and with the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month, you are being supported and encouraged in the process. Pluto, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde in your house of home and family from May 4 until October, and you are gaining clarity on the people and support systems you can rely on more.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year. You are in full bloom and ready for whatever is next for you, and this is beautiful. Previous intentions and goals come to fruition for you overall in mid-May, and there is a lot to look forward to right now as you are getting excited about it all. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your 8th house, creating a sense of empowerment through what you are looking to change and transform in your life right now.
This month is about not being afraid to take more risks and doing things your own way.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a beautiful month of magic, success, and good fortune, Sagittarius. You are feeling lucky this month and are attracting success to you in many different areas of your life. Venus, the planet of love, is in your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and you are enjoying your life, feeling the love within your heart, and expressing yourself freely in May. You are a magnet for your manifestations, and dreams are coming true for you this month, Sag.
On May 12, we have a Full Moon happening in your house of endings and closure, and you are closing out a big chapter in your life this month.
You are letting go of old pain or emotional experiences and choosing not to repeat a pattern that left you feeling hopeless before. On May 26, we have a New Moon in your sister sign, Gemini, enhancing your need for love, connection, and relationship development this month. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for what partnerships you want to see grow, heal, and come to fruition for you. Overall, May is your month of fruition, balance, and believing in the magic in your life.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is about slowing down and allowing yourself to find the answers you have been looking for, Capricorn. This isn’t the time to rush your progress or doubt where you are in life. The Sun is in your 5th house, and this is good for finding more time for fun, pleasure, self-care, and asking your heart what it needs. With Pluto going retrograde in your 2nd house of values and income, you are being reminded to hold yourself with integrity and to know that you are worthy of the things you are asking for.
The Full Moon on May 12 is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones or those who inspire you. The universe wants to show you that you are not alone this month and that you deserve to live a life where you can enjoy yourself more and manifest your dreams, rather than believing everything needs to be a challenge to be worthy. Saturn, your ruling planet, then enters your 4th house of home and family, and over the next few years, you are going to be rediscovering what home means to you.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleYour guidance for May is to trust that what is falling from your life or changing for you is doing so for your benefit, Aquarius. Trust that what is happening is happening for you and not to you, and don’t doubt that you will rebuild from this. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign from May 4 until October 13, you need a break from some of the confusion you have been feeling in your personal life, and you are getting a chance to gain a new perspective this month.
Use this time to get inspired by change rather than let it bring you down, and ground yourself in the present moment more.
Saturn enters Aries in May, where it will remain for the next few years, helping you grow in the areas of your life that have to do with communication, networking, transportation, siblings, and education. You will be learning a lot during this time and will be finding new outlets for self-expression and communication. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini occurring in your 5th house of romance, pleasure, hobbies, and entertainment, and after a month of navigating endings, changes, and closures, you are ready for a fresh start and are receiving one in love now.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleAllow what is to be, be, Pisces. May is a month of allowing yourself to trust the timing of the universe and not giving up hope that things are going to turn out beautifully for you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in fellow water sign, Scorpio, and this is a time to get inspired and see the benefits of closure. This Full Moon is about gaining a new perspective and not doubting what is clearer to you now, that you are worthy of a new beginning.
On May 24, Saturn moves into your 2nd house of income, and you are going to be moving through a journey of developing financially, and working on maintaining stability while building new foundations in your life. The New Moon in Gemini at the end of the month is about setting your intentions for your home and family life and creating some new energy here. Overall, May is your month of breaking ground on the things you want to create for yourself and trusting the timing of how things are unfolding.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
My response? Well, I’ll speak for myself personally and say I think that, although there is absolutely nothing wrong with shrinkage (it actually speaks to how healthy your curls and coils are), if you want to wear all-natural styles with as little of it as possible, cooler months are best. On the other hand, since the warmer seasons tend to have a lot more humidity in them, if you want to rock a straight(er) style, relaxing your locks makes more sense during the spring and summertime.
And, as life (and timing) would have it, the latter is where we are right now. So, if you are seriously thinking about chemically straightening your hair, although I totally get it, before you take the leap, please make sure to ask yourself the following five questions, just so you won’t have any regrets if you actually do.
1. Why Am I Doing It?
GiphyOne of my girlfriends? She has an incredible head of hair. I wanna say that her texture is probably hovering somewhere between 3b-4a, and it only takes her about six months to go from a bob to well past her bra strap. Anyway, although when I first met her, she rocked a relaxer, for about a decade, she then went completely natural. Then, one day, she announced to me that she was going back to the white stuff. When I asked her why, she said that although she loved natural hair, all of the time that went into the care and maintenance of it was starting to get on her nerves.
I ain’t got no lies to tell you: When she said it, I was devastated like it was my own hair, mostly because I had grown so accustomed to seeing her thick curly locks. Plus, I’m aware of some of the risks that come with relaxers (more on that in a sec). Still, it ain’t my head, and also, since she would flat iron her hair quite a bit without properly prepping it in order to avoid heat damage, it’s not like I didn’t see where she was coming from. I wanna say that she’s been relaxing her hair, this time, for about 4-5 years now. I’ve asked her if she has any regrets. She has been emphatic that her answer is “no.”
Me? I’ve been pretty natural for most of my adult life. I frame it that way because back when my hair was ultra short, I would sometimes put a texturizer in it (which is basically a mild relaxer, if we’re gonna be real about it). However, there have only been two times when I’ve taken the very clear relaxer route, and both were to achieve a particular hairstyle — once a straight short bob and another time a modified mohawk. The bob I kind of regretted because once I was “over it,” I had to cut my hair to get back to my natural texture.
The mohawk? Eh, not so much because the sides were super low anyway. Still, just like going from relaxed to natural is a transition (makes me think about the book and then filmNappily Ever After), so is going from relaxed to natural — which is why the first thing you should ask yourself is your reason(s) for relaxing your hair, so that you can also ponder the costs that come with making the choice.
2. Am I Aware of the Risks?
GiphyA few years ago, Glamour published an article entitled, “It’s My Hair and I’ll Relax It—Or Not—If I Want To.” Back in 2023, Essence published an article entitled, “Why Some Black Women Are Relaxing Their Hair Again.” Last year, Vice published an article entitled, “Black Women on Their Complicated Relationship with Relaxer.” As I checked them all out, that is actually what caused India.Arie’s song, “I Am Not My Hair” to come to my mind. At the end of the day, one of the most bomb things about our hair is how damn versatile it can be — how many options that we really do have.
Still, I would be pretty irresponsible if I didn’t mention in a relaxer-themed article that there is quite a bit of research that says that relaxers really aren’t the best for our overall health and well-being. For instance, last year, NPR published the article, “Thousands of Black women are suing chemical relaxer makers over cancer risks” which was probably, at least partially inspired by, “First Large Study of Hair Relaxers Among Black Women Finds Increased Risk of Uterine Cancer” (NPR also just recently published an article about shampoos, lotions and eyelash glues that are harmful to our health as well).
In 2023, NBC News featured a piece entitled, “What Black women should know about hair relaxers and their health;” one of the things it said was “postmenopausal Black women who have used chemical hair relaxers more than twice a year or for more than five years have an increased risk of developing uterine cancer.” Know what else? It should also go on record that, beyond cancer, relaxers pose the threat of uterine fibroids, premature births, and even infertility.
Should that “scare” you into not relaxing your hair? Eh, it should make you more aware of the risks. That said, I would also be amiss if I didn’t say that there are some relaxer options that are certainly safer than others (you can read more about those here). Still, if you knew that there were other ways to straighten your locks without “chancing it” when it comes to chemical relaxers at all, wouldn’t you want to at least…consider them?
This brings me to the next question that you should ask yourself.
3. Have I Researched Other Straightening Alternatives?
GiphyA few weeks ago, Who What Wear published an article entitled, “TikTok Says Becoming a ‘Straight Natural’ Is a Hairstyling Hack—I Asked an Expert for the Facts.” It naturally piqued my interest because that’s pretty much what I am: on wash day, I will blow-out my hair and then I will braid it up to keep it stretched, basically until it’s time to wash it again. Personally, it has served me well because it reduces tangling and chances for fairy knots to pop up, plus, it helps me to handle my hair more gently (because I’m not exactly the best at doing that).
This means that no, I don’t need or use a relaxer, even though I do prefer to wear my hair stretched out. Instead, I use a blow dryer. That’s one alternative to achieving straight(er) hair.
Some others?
- You can flat-iron your hair
- You can apply keratin treatments
- You can do a silk press
- You can put your hair in rollers
- There are quite a few straightening sprays and creams that can get the job done too (although you oftentimes need to use them with heat, and many contain silicones if those aren’t your thing)
BONUS: If you want to simply stretch your natural hair without heat, some options for that arehere.
Now, I won’t lie, a perk to going the relaxer route is your hair remains permanently straight, even in the roughest of weather conditions while these alternatives are temporary solutions (some lasting longer than others). However, if you want to go in between curly and straight without any potentially harmful chemicals putting your health at risk, now you know some other proven things that you can do.
4. Have I Fully Processed the Upkeep That Is Involved?
GiphyThe time it takes to sit up in a beauty salon. Chile, back when I was in college, that inspired me to teach myself how to cut my own hair (fades ‘n all) — that’s why, it’s been only a handful of times that I’ve been in a beauty shop since. And don’t get me started on the prices! In fact, I just recently checked out the current average prices for certain hair treatments in the US:
- Women’s haircut: $10-90
- Hair Color: $75-200
- Highlights: $20-200
- Styling: $10-65
- Permanent Hair Straightening: $40-425 ($425?!)
Now, to be fair, when it comes to seeing a professional for certain natural styles, here are some of the costs for that:
- Braids: $40-200
- Locs: $50-150
- Retightening Sisterlocks: $100-250 (and it’s recommended to do this at least six times a year)
However, natural hairstyles oftentimes tend to last longer, and you can do certain ones on your own. Meanwhile, getting a retouch? While some prefer to do it every six weeks, every eight weeks is typically the norm. Plus, it’s not just you’re getting a relaxer, right? Oftentimes, a cut and possibly a retouch of color is thrown up in there, too, and that can really add up.
Not to say that, even if you do your natural hair at home, some of the hair products are not the cheapest on the planet. Understood. All I’m saying, though, is — I’ve been doing my own hair for years, and the products that I use last for many months on end. Back when I was getting a relaxer, though? In the grand scheme of things, I was definitely spending more money overall.
And with this current administration that we have, chile…CHILE.
5. Have You Taken a Month to Make Sure It’s Not a Knee-Jerk Response?
GiphyRelaxers are a lot like tattoos in the sense that, once you get them, there’s no turning back. So, if you’re a naturalista who is thinking about putting the “cream crack” in, simply because you’ve had a few bad hair days — before you book a hair appointment or even go to a beauty supply store to get a ready-made relaxer to apply yourself, pause…to really think about what you’re doing.
And by “pause,” I recommend taking a good month, just to make sure that you’re making a logical decision and not just having an emotional reaction. Because again, once it’s straight, it’s straight until/unless you decide to grow your natural hair back out — and boy, is that a process (check out “The Truth About Transitioning From Relaxed To Natural”)…sometimes more of one than we considered before taking the cream crack leap.
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Listen, you’re all the way grown, and when it comes to your hair, you certainly can do whatever the hell you want to do. That said, I did decide to end this with a feature from Only One Jess’s channel because…just look at our natural hair and all that it is capable of. Beautiful.
As I close this out, as with pretty much all things in this life, relaxed hair certainly comes with its own benefits. Of course, it does because, if there were none, who would have relaxed locks at all? All I’m saying is it does come with some “count the costs” to really consider, too, and I want to make sure that you always keep those in mind as well.
I’m hoping this article brought this main point home, so that if you do decide to go permanently straight (perhaps again), you can feel 100 percent good about your decision.
With — like the friend whom I mentioned earlier — not one single regret. From root to tip.
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Featured image by L Julia/Shutterstock