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Here's Why You Should Ditch Fourth Of July And Have A Family Reunion Instead
“Who made the potato salad?” As summertime kicks off, this is the universal question that, without fail, will be asked at every barbeque and backyard kickback over the coming months. With the Fourth of July also nearing, summertime celebrations and cookouts will be in full force. However, as the tide begins to turn in this new day and age, more Black Americans are celebrating Juneteenth, instead of the Fourth of July, because, after all, there were still over 250,000 Black Americans enslaved in Galveston, Texas during this so-called Independence Day.
In the words of our brother Frederick Douglass, “What to the Slave is the Fourth of July?” Also, with the world being put on pause for over two years due to COVID, and in many cases keeping families separated during this time, now is the perfect time to reach back to our roots and bring back family reunions as an alternative to celebrating the Fourth of July.
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It’s time to cue the Soul Train line as folks boogie down to the beats of Earth, Wind and Fire’s "September," and Cameo’s "Candy." Of course, you have to whip out the card table for endless rounds of spades and hear the back-and-forth banter that will surely ensue, followed by the familial “whack!” sound as some unsuspecting soul just got their deuce of diamonds cut by a little joker and backdoored by the big joker to seal the win. “Who got next?!” the victor queries.
Tables shake and “bones” rattle over an intense game of dominoes. Uncle So-and-So, the self-proclaimed grill master, throws down on the grill while rocking the universal “barbeque sandal.” You know the ones we’re talking about. Paper plates sit on laps and red Solo cups rest by feet. Family, food, and fellowship -- ahhh yes, the perfect recipe for a family reunion.
How Family Reunions Started
Family reunions go beyond those, just the right touch of sweet, baked beans and finger-lickin' good barbeque ribs. While food may be the vessel through which we fellowship and frolic with our folks, how Black American family reunions took shape dates back to the times of the Emancipation Proclamation. During enslavement, Black families were ripped apart.
According to an Equal Justice Initiative report, "It's estimated that more than half of all enslaved people in the Upper South were separated from a parent or child, and a third of their marriages were destroyed by forced migration.” After the Emancipation Proclamation, newly freed Black Americans desperately sought out their missing family members, posting advertisements in local newspapers as a part of their search efforts. If history has taught us anything, it’s taught us that our ancestors are resilient and resourceful.
Whether it was through advertisements or word of mouth, the nation experienced what would become known as the Great Migration where nearly 4 million African Americans migrated from the South to the North. This migration and reunification of Black families was the beginning of family reunions as we know them.
Nowadays, family reunions have evolved to be more than just a picnic. They are now oftentimes multi-day events that alternate locations from year to year, and out-of-towners make the pilgrimage, much like the ancestors, to reunite with family.
The Importance of Family Reunions
Why are Black family reunions so important? Because, while our roots may be intertwined with a harrowing past, our resilience is what has led us to where we are today, and that is to be celebrated. Black family reunions serve as an opportunity for us to sit at the feet of our elders and learn about our family’s history and legacy -- to soak up the knowledge that we will one day be able to pass down to those that come after us. It is an opportunity to truly connect, beyond the computer screens and social media statuses, and to gather for events besides weddings or funerals. Life, lineage, and legacy should be celebrated while living, and while there are things that should be buried with our ancestors, i.e. generational curses, our family’s stories should live on forever.
Want to incorporate some new traditions at your next family reunion? Here are a few suggestions:
1. Shop with Black-owned brands and businesses.
Family reunions are the perfect time to support skinfolk by shopping Black. Use Black vendors for things like catering, DJs, decorations, etc. Those matching t-shirts we mentioned earlier, use a Black-owned t-shirt printing company. Keep those dollars circulating in the Black community.
2. Create a family journal.
Creating a family journal for your family reunion is a great tradition to start as a way to document the lives, stories, and words of wisdom from the family. There are a few ways this can be done. You can create a video journal, which is likely the easiest and quickest way to capture information, especially for elders who may be unable to write or type. Another way is to have people physically write their stories or advice and have it all scanned into a digital ebook. Another possible option is for everyone to submit their information electronically and then it is all compiled into physical or digital books. Imagine future generations being able to have a tangible book of their family's words that have been passed down for generations.
3. Create a family cookbook.
Some of the best recipes are those that have been passed down from generation to generation. Some of the best recipes are buried in graves because our loved ones refused to let anyone in on their secret ingredients. For shame. However, for those willing to depart with their secret 11 herbs and spices, creating a family heritage cookbook is a great way to do it. Give them fun titles like “Aunt Mary’s Make You Wanna Slap Yo’ Mama Mac & Cheese” or keep it simple like, “Uncle Bobby’s BBQ sauce.” These recipes will stay in the family long after loved ones have departed.
4. Create a scholarship fund.
Starting the family reunion tradition of creating a scholarship fund is a way to pour into the family youth while promoting family unity through academic excellence. Applicants could be high school seniors who must complete an application form and essay. One of the questions could be “How do you plan to continue the family legacy?” Whether there are multiple recipients or a single recipient, another requirement could be that they must pour into or give back to the next year’s recipient(s), whether that is through time and mentorship and/or financially.
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5. Host a fashion show.
Who doesn't love a reason to get gussied up and dressed to the nines? Having a family reunion fashion show is a fun way to get everyone involved, young and old. Themes can change yearly, or however often you have your family reunion. Or if you don’t want to hassle the family with packing extra clothes, you can simply do a “Strut Your Best Stuff” fashion show, and the person that serves the fiercest strut and garners the biggest crowd reaction will be crowned the victor.
No matter how you celebrate, big or small, consider getting the family together for a family reunion as an alternative to Fourth of July celebrations.
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These Newlyweds Found Love Thanks To A Friend Playing Matchmaker
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Jason and Elise Robinson’s union is a reminder that kind people still get their happily ever after. The pair had their first date in October of 2021 and tied the knot on June 15, 2024. Both of them have dedicated their lives to celebrating and supporting Black culture so it was only fitting they get married in what's considered the Black Hollywood of America during the Juneteenth celebration weekend. From the florists to Elise and Jason's gown and suit designers to the table signage and so much more, everything was Black-owned. It's no wonder their love for Black culture was the jumping-off point for their love story.
When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Courtesy
That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
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Meagan Good Reflects On One Year With Jonathan Majors: 'I Feel Free'
Actress Meagan Good and actor Jonathan Majors are celebrating a significant milestone—their first year as a couple.
This relationship emerged following major life changes for both individuals. Prior to the pair's whirlwind romance, Good had ended her nearly decade-long marriage to producer and motivational speaker DeVon Franklin.
Meanwhile, Majors faced his own struggles. In March 2023, the Creed III star experienced a turbulent breakup with actress Grace Jabbari. This split led to Majors' arrest and subsequent charges of assault and harassment. Two months later, in May 2023, Majors and Good sparked dating rumors when they were spotted together. Their relationship captured public attention mainly due to the actor's legal troubles.
Throughout this challenging period, Good remained a pillar of support for Majors by regularly attending his court hearings and speaking positively about their relationship in public. Majors, in turn, expressed deep appreciation for the Harlem actress by praising her often for her unwavering support and affection. Despite their scrutiny and obstacles, the couple have maintained a united front, strengthening their bond in the face of adversity.
Recently, while backstage at the 2024 BET Awards, Good seized the opportunity to share insights about her relationship with Majors during an interview with Entertainment Tonight.
Meagan On Her One-Year Anniversary With Jonathan Majors
When asked about the couple's one-year dating anniversary and how they celebrated the special day, the 42-year-old revealed that their main focus was on remaining present and savoring that moment together.
“I don’t really know what to say except for, I celebrate it by being present, and being thankful. Being grateful. Learning, growing, accepting all that God is bringing without any fear… I’m happy, and I’m thankful. Like I feel free, which is a beautiful feeling,” she said.
Meagan On How This Love Is Different
Toward the end of the conversation, Good shared how her romance with Majors differs from her previous relationships.
“I think this love is different because I just don’t have any fear anymore,” she stated. “I guess that’s one of the things about divorce is, when you feel the worst has happened, you go, ‘oh okay, well I survived.’ Which means you just get freer and so I just feel complete freedom. That's a really, really, really wonderful place to be.”
Good's recent revelations about her relationship with Majors come weeks after publicly offering advice on navigating life after a breakup. Tyler Perry's Divorce in Black star emphasized the importance of gratitude for past moments and maintaining faith that something greater lies ahead. This sentiment appears to resonate in Good's current union with Majors, as she is experiencing a different kind of love she encouraged others to anticipate.
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