Yoga For Beginners: The 11 Yoga Poses You Need In Your Arsenal
Flexibility has always been something that has come naturally to me. If you have any sort of dance or even any sports background, your body is used to being pushed to the limit. However, the older you get, if you don't use it, you lose it, as my grandmother used to say. Doing a split without excruciating pain is a thing that I truly miss from my youth. Since discovering that I no longer have the hips and joints of my younger years, I have been in search of ways to remedy this in 2021. The most common answer to my problem is yoga. Yoga has been out here saving lives, hips, knees, backs, and all the joints.
Like most things, finding out where to start with your yoga journey can be a little confusing. If yoga has been on your mind but you don't know where to start, let this article serve as a reference to get started. There is a lot of Instagram content that shows many beautiful images of people practicing yoga who are of all walks of life. Some of the poses can look a little intimidating but everybody has to start somewhere. And just like anything else, it takes time to perfect your practice. To get the best answers to how to start a yoga journey, I reached out to The Hippie Heathen, CEO and founder of Sisters of Yoga. Below is the insight and wisdom she had to share:
Determine Your Why Before You Start
How many times do we start things just for the sake of starting things without really thinking about why and if we should even start? Tie says starting your yoga practice has to begin with intention. “Before you even start yoga, it is good to take a moment to determine what is your reason for even starting yoga," she explains. “Like any other goal, you need to know why am I doing this. This can keep you going when it gets uncomfortable, uncertain, and, difficult.”
Whether it's to lose weight, gain strength, or become more flexible, understanding your why will push you through. To confirm your needs and intentions, Tie says to asks yourself, "Why yoga, why now, and what are three things you are hoping to gain out of your yoga practice."
Practice Alignment With A Beginner Yoga Class
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We are still in the midst of COVID and trying to deal with the resulting pandemic. Even though gyms and things are still open, we still need to practice social distancing and wear our masks. It is recommended that when starting a yoga practice to do so under the direction of a yoga teacher. Tie acknowledges that this helps with getting the poses and alignments correct. With a yoga teacher in your presence, you can get quick direct assistance to avoid mistakes. However, with COVID, things are a bit different. "I recommend starting with online instruction where there are specifically true beginners and start with alignment," Tie notes.
This will give you the correct foundation so you know what you need to watch out for in certain poses. Also, this will save you from future injury. Tie tells us that she started her journey from home seven years ago and was self-taught for two years. She suffered a few injuries by not going to a yoga studio in the beginning and this is the basis for why she believes starting with an instructor in a studio is best. A great alternative to adjust to social distancing is looking into doing a private 1-on-1 with a yoga instructor if you feel comfortable. During the pandemic, it is a great time to sign up for virtual private sessions, as they are more common right now. Whatever class you decide to take should be based on your comfort level.
What To Expect In For Your First Yoga Session
"Expect your teacher to help you flow through your poses. You can also expect some hands-on adjustments if that teacher wants to do that. If you don't want hands-on adjustments your instructor will give you a cue to let them know. Most of the time if you are new they will not touch you." This is important because as we already stated, yoga involves a lot of alignment and adjusting your body, so consider that before you take your first class.
When you go to your first class Tie says that you should go in with a positive attitude, "Go into a class with an open mind. If you go into a class feeling like this isn't for me, it's not going to be for you."
If you put negative energy in the space then that is what you are going to get out of it. "Expect to be challenged," Tie clearly states, "Expect to surprise yourself. Expect to find some calm that you didn't know you could find, you can expect to find so many different things."
Beginner Yoga Poses
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Downward Facing Dog
This pose stretches out the full body and helps with building a foundation for all of the other poses in yoga. It is the foundational pose in yoga for building strength in your shoulders and your legs. Downward facing dog is an all-around full-body stretch.
Child's Pose
Child's pose is really good for grounding down. It is a really good pose for doing root chakra work, surrendering, stretching your hips, and just checking in with yourself. It is a pose that is dedicated to going into yourself. (Sidebar: Tie says this is a really good pose for women when they are on their cycles to relieve pain.)
Plank
The plank pose is another really good arm strengthing pose and a good pose to prep for other poses that are commonly practiced in yoga.
Warrior 2
This is a great pose for building a solid foundation in your legs and building confidence in your practice. It is also a great beginner pose for opening up your full body in a strengthing pose.
Cow-Cat Flow
The cow-cat flow are two poses that are made into one small flow. It is a great pose to open up the body and great to do in the morning. This pose actually helps to limber up your spine. It is recommended for lower back and back stretching. It can be used for synchronizing your breath because one movement is an inhale and the other is an exhale. This flow is a great one to start your practice with.
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Wide-Legged Forward Fold
Forward pose is always a yes. It helps with low back pain and helps you open your hips. It can also be helpful for relieving headaches and tension in your neck and back.
Tree Pose
Tree pose is the first balance pose. You are learning to balance with this pose and it is a foundational pose.
Savasana
Another great pose that is always a YES! It is literally the pose that you go to when you just don't have anything else to give. You literally lay into the floor. It is a beautiful pose of surrender and connecting to the earth and to the Source. It is a great pose for meditation and for you to practice at the end of your flow.
Warrior 1
You can find this pose in alto of flows because it is a foundational pose for building stability in the body. It is going to open up your hips and it is going to ground you down to the earth. It is a confidence-building pose because you feel like a warrior and you will feel in control of your body.
Low Lunge
If you are working on splits, low lunge is a great pose to begin work there. This pose will help you open up your hips and your hamstrings. If you are a runner or you lift a lot of weights, this is the pose you should add to your stretch routine. This pose should be done daily for optimal results.
Baby Cobra
Also known as cobra, this pose is perfect for beginners because it a backbend that will not make you uncomfortable. Furthermore, it is a backbend that will help you build the foundation for more advanced backbends. Use this pose to warm yourself up before you go into practicing backbends.
The Emotional Component To Making Yoga A Practice
"When you are practicing these poses, there are a lot of times where you are moving energy around. You are shifting energy in your body around and a lot of times things that you have trapped in your muscles that you haven't dealt with and can come up as many different things. It can come up as joy, it can come up as anxiety, fear, or sadness. Heart-openers, which are a set of poses that open up your heart space, we feel vulnerable or more open. It will cause you to have many experiences if you allow it and tap into it." Tie notes that off of the mat is where the real gold is. "On the mat, these same practices you are learning are preparing you for off of the mat.
"The balancing you are learning on the mat is teaching you how to have balance in real life. Learning to strengthen your heart space is to teach you how to be open in your life and your relationship with yourself. Increasing your flexibility on the mat teaches you how to be flexible in real life."
She continues, "Many people say how does this teach me things in real life? Well, with flexibility, it is mental. Do you know how many things you go through every day mentally. You are literally taking yourself through a process [that strengthens you mentally] and it becomes a domino effect that spills over into your life."
How To Make Yoga A Practice
Once we decide that we are going to try yoga in our routine for health and wellness, Tie suggests that we practice two to four times a week for at least 15 minutes or at the most 60 minutes with an instructor. As you begin to search for an instructor, remember it is about trust and finding someone you vibe with. Similar to the process of finding a therapist. It is very important to work with someone you like.
To connect with Tie Simpson follow her on Instagram and check out her Beginner's Guide to Starting Yoga for more. Also, check out Sisters of Yoga for many resources about yoga for Black people on Instagram.
Featured image by Jacob Lund/Shutterstock
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Navigating Dating When Emotionally Unavailable & Detached: My Journey Back To Feeling
The last time I came with a dating story, I told you I got my little feelings hurt in 2021. I called myself trying to be out in these streets entertaining a man in a different area code, city, and state — only for homeboy to play in my damn face. So, I went and gave y’all "8 Rules To Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know This Summer." You’re welcome. Fast forward to 2024, and I am now coming to you from a more mature and intentional place. We’re not in summer yet, but I truly believe what blooms in spring, thrives in summer.
2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
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The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
Whereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
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According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
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1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
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