For This Powerhouse Couple, Love Is What Kept Them Stronger Together Rather Than Apart
In xoNecole's Our First Year series, we take an in-depth look at love and relationships between married couples with an emphasis on what their first year of marriage was like.
For Carjie and Kerwin Scott, "Make Me Better" by Fabolous comes to mind. We all know those lyrics, "I'm a movement by myself, but I'm a force when we're together." This sentiment speaks truth for how Carjie and Kerwin have been there for each other since the year 2012. One night at an Alpha Phi Alpha BBQ on campus, these two locked eyes in a crowded room. While neither Carjie and Kerwin wanted to attend the BBQ in the first place, they had no idea that they would meet their future partner/best friend that in layman's terms would "make them better". Carjie wasn't looking for anything at the time, but was open to the handsome guy she waved to, who later walked her to her car. After Carjie and her now-husband Kerwin exchanged numbers, they naturally spent every day together after that.
Eight years of marriage and two beautiful children later, Dr. Carjie and Dr. Kerwin Scott realized that they complement each other in the best ways when it comes to love. Kerwin mentions, "I wanted us to support each other enough where we can still reach the goals we had before we even met." Even in marriage, Carjie and Kerwin worked hard to turn their individual dreams into reality. They trusted each other where they may be able to handle things on their own, but they provided that support for one another to make it to the top. Carjie and Kerwin understood the value that each other brought to the table and used their love for each other to take them to higher levels and new heights.
In this installment of "Our First Year", xoNecole was able to sit down with Carjie and Kerwin to talk more about building a life together, taking risks, and believing in each other to reach their full potential.
Courtesy of Dr. Carjie Scott
How We Met
Kerwin: One of my frat brothers was having a BBQ. I was playing cards and I saw Carjie and her friend walk in. I thought to myself, 'Man, she looks good.' I was trying to see if she was there with somebody. So I was looking at her and she waved at me. It made me nervous, so I gave her a head nod (laughs). I told myself that before she leaves I would approach her and talk to her. When she was leaving, I walked up to her and asked her if I could walk her to her car. We talked a little. I was honest with her about what I wanted to do in my life and what I was looking for at the time. She reciprocated and we exchanged numbers.
Carjie: My friend had just crossed Delta and she invited me to the Alpha BBQ. I didn't want to go at first because I'm not in a sorority, but I went to support my friend. So I was sitting on the couch and I saw him looking at me. I waved at him and he didn't wave back at me. I thought to myself, 'Fine whatever. I'm trying to be nice and he doesn't want to speak back. I didn't even want to be here in the first place, so I'm ready to go.' [laughs] My friend and I are walking out and that's when Kerwin walks up saying that he would walk me to my car.
First Impressions
Carjie: I thought he was a handsome guy. He had on his glasses and looked like he was smart. When we finally talked and he told me everything that he wanted to do in his life, I found myself wanting to learn more. I wasn't really expecting anything. So even if we didn't get together, I thought we could at least be good friends.
Kerwin: I thought she was different. Honestly, when I walked her to her car, I noticed her big blue truck. At the time, I was looking for someone that was different. Someone that could take me outside of my comfort zone. That's what intrigued me and made me want to get to know her more. The way she carried herself, how she wasn't like the other girls I was used to, and that big blue truck.
Courtesy fo Dr. Carjie Scott
"I thought she was different. At the time, I was looking for someone that was different. Someone that could take me outside of my comfort zone. That's what intrigued me and made me want to get to know her more."
The One
Carjie: I can be a tough nut to crack. I love that he has earned my trust and that he is patient with me. Together, we have become this purpose-led couple who inspires others to be successful in areas that you usually do not see black people in. More than anything else, he brings out the best in me. I couldn't picture my life without him. It's as simple as that.
Kerwin: When we first started dating, I liked that she had been through a lot in her life and she was willing to share that with me. That's important to me because if you are able to be upfront about things, it helps build trust. It showed me that she was at least committed to seeing how things could go with us. From the conversations that we had, I knew that I had to be better personally. When you're single, you can do certain things and there aren't huge consequences. When you add someone into your life, there comes that new level of responsibility. So with her, I felt that she was it and there wouldn't be anyone better.
Biggest Fears
Carjie: I didn't have any fears. I saw how I could bring value into his life and we started off as really good friends. I thought he was a super cool guy and thought that if it went there, I already trusted him. I knew he wouldn't betray me or do anything to intentionally hurt me. Don't get me wrong, no relationship is perfect. We do get on each other's nerves and stuff. But with him, I wouldn't say I was fearful. Any fears that I may have had, I would cast them to God because that has always been my foundation.
Kerwin: I felt like now that I told her all this stuff about what I wanted to do, I had to make it happen. I was fearful with the thought of, 'Could I get there?' The last thing I wanted to do was bring her into a relationship and the respect for me is lost. But I think in the end, pushing myself and her allowing me to fall, helped me combat that fear. She reassured me that we are going to get to where we needed to be and I'm so appreciative of that.
Courtesy of Dr. Carjie Scott
"Together, we have become this purpose-led couple who inspires others to be successful in areas that you usually do not see black people in. More than anything else, he brings out the best in me. I couldn't picture my life without him. It's as simple as that."
Early Challenges
Carjie: I consider myself a big risk-taker. Kerwin and I have been through situations that probably would have broken other marriages. When we met, we went from 0-180 miles per hour. When we got married, I was three months pregnant. We bought a house three months after we got married and a year after that we left that house so that Kerwin could attend medical school out of state. When we left that house, we moved into a tiny apartment in Tennessee where Kerwin's program was. It was just a lot of adjustments we had to work through. Sometimes things can affect your marriage where you may grow resentment towards each other. But we grew and continued to lean on each other nevertheless. We just figured it out together and it allowed us to overcome a lot of challenges.
Kerwin: During that time, things were moving so fast for us. There were times where I would leave in the morning and I wouldn't see her until the next morning. Whether I never came home from school or she was busy with her job or her degree. We didn't have time to argue about the small stuff. We had to learn how to put the small stuff on the back burner until we could deal with it. I feel like that helped keep things stable at the time.
"Sometimes things can affect your marriage where you may grow resentment towards each other. But we grew and continued to lean on each other nevertheless. We just figured it out together and it allowed us to overcome a lot of challenges."
Love Lessons
Kerwin: The biggest lesson I've learned is that you have to be cautious and guard your relationship. Everyone does not have the best intentions and it can really be harmful to your relationship giving the outside world complete access to it. Being mindful of that protects you from a lot of negativity.
Carjie: The biggest lesson for me is to trust the process and appreciate what you have right now. To try not to move so fast so you do not miss the blessing that is right in front of you.
For more about Carjie and Kerwin, follow them on social media and check out their daughter Channing's business here.
Featured image courtesy of Dr. Carjie and Dr. Kerwin Scott
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'K' is a multi-hyphenated free spirit from Chicago. She is a lover of stories and the people who tell them. As a writer, 9-5er, and Safe Space Curator, she values creating the life she wants and enjoying the journey along the way. You can follow her on Instagram @theletter__k_.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Why We'll Probably Never Hear Lupita Nyong'o Share Her Relationship With The World
Lupita Nyong'o is sharing a transparent look into her life after a recent breakup.
In a cover story for NET-A-PORTER, the A Quiet Place: Day One star shed light on the significant heartbreak she experienced following the end of her relationship with ex-boyfriend and TV host, Selema Masekela.
As a public figure, Nyong'o, 39, sought to divulge the news of the breakup in hopes of presenting a more authentic perspective on the pain that follows a separation.
"I was living in a lot of pain and heartbreak," she told the publication. "I looked at the environment of my social media and thought I don’t want to be a part of this illusion that everything is always coming up roses. Surely there is a lesson for me to learn in this, and I just want to be real about it."
The Black Panther star went on to explain that her choice to be transparent with her fans about her breakup came from the certainty she felt after ending the relationship. “In my mind, when I shared my relationship status with the world, it was because I felt sure about it,” she said.
While she didn’t know how the news would land with her fans, she found relief in knowing she wasn’t alone in her experience.
“I knew how it could be interpreted; I knew it would have a life of its own,” she reflects. “But then I started to see the comments and people were being so loving and supportive. The ones that moved me the most were other people sharing their pain and their heartbreak.”
Nyong'o and Masekela went Instagram official in December 2022, publicly announcing their relationship in a couple's video. In October 2023, Nyong'o took to her personal Instagram account to share the news of her breakup in her caption, writing, "At this moment, it is necessary for me to share a personal truth and publicly dissociate myself from someone I can no longer trust.”
She continued the vulnerable note, "I find myself in a season of heartbreak because of a love suddenly and devastatingly extinguished by deception. I am tempted to run into the shadows and hide, only to return to the light when I have regained my strength enough for me to say, 'Whatever, my life is better this way.' But I am reminded that the magnitude of the pain I am feeling is equal to the measure of my capacity for love."
These days, Nyong'o tells NET-A-PORTER that she is prioritizing profound self-discovery that extends beyond her career. She notes having a deliberate and unhurried approach to understanding herself.
She also alludes to keeping her relationships private moving forward after noting it was "very, very sage" of her not to talk about her private life professionally in the days before her last relationship. "I'm going back to those days by the way," Nyong'o shares of her reinstated boundaries around her personal life.
Earlier this month, Nyong'o made headlines alongside her new boyfriend actor Joshua Jackson. Nyong'o and Jackson went through public splits from their respective SOs in October 2023, with the latter splitting from his long-time partner Jodie Turner-Smith following her divorce filing from the Dawson's Creek alum.
The pair have been spotted together as early as December 2023, but nothing screamed "couple" quite as loudly as their recent getaway to Mexico for Nyong'o's 41st birthday featuring passionate displays of affection.
"Our purpose in life is to love. And so you have to get back in it," she tells the outlet, seemingly alluding to her budding new romance.
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Featured image by Taylor Hill/Getty Images